Redemptio Animae
by sydney563
Summary: AU/Human: Former Secret Service Agent Bo is hired by Senator Lauren Lewis for protection. Bo has struggles and Lauren has secrets. Mystery, romance, sci fi and thriller all rolled into one. And some angst. Check out the summary in chapter one for more. Rated T for now but will slide to M as we progress.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: so this is an idea i had the other day, Bo is a fallen star in the world and is hired to be Laurens bodyguard. i want to leave the rest to surprise as you read. This one will be romance, mystery, thriller and a touch of science fiction. Who knows where i am going with it but i am testing out a style where i am writing both POV's and they will change with the growth of the characters. This will just be Bo and Lauren, no other LG characters...because this is an overall work on these two ladies and their characters in a AU human world. EP and i are on a bit of a break, i am frustrated and stuck on it, hoping a change with a new story will jog me loose on that story. So with that read and tell me what you think.**

**The x's after the line break signify a change in POV**

* * *

The only time I had normal dreams when I was dead drunk. Sleep would come to me easy and I would get lost in a hazy cloud of not caring. My mind would finally rest and let go as much as I did when I finished half a bottle of scotch.

I was dreaming about swimming with penguins in the ocean. The cool water and weightlessness it brought with being submerged, was freeing. I half knew I was in a dream and half wanted it to be a reality. I wanted to float away to the other side of the world and spend time with these quiet birds.

When the ice cold water hit my face, shocking my system and my drunken mind out of the scotch haze. I gasped and sat up from the couch I had passed out on. For a split second I wondered if I was still in the dream. Until I looked around my small living room, panicked at where the water actually had come from. Wiping the freezing water from my face and eyes, I saw him. Smirking and holding the pot that was still dripping with the water that now soaked my hair and my shirt.

"Wakey wakey Dennis." The words came out childishly sing songy, making me want to slug him.

I swung my legs to the edge of the couch, the cold water replaced by the rising heat of anger I felt when my eyes focused in on Davey Janes. My ex-partner and sometimes boss. I stood up quickly, taking the towel he held out to me, "What the hell, Davey. Did you break into my house again?" I rubbed the towel through my drenched hair.

"You can't call it breaking and entering when the door is unlocked." He set the empty pot down on the coffee table that was covered with overdue bills, old magazine and newspaper ads with red circles around possible jobs. Davey picked up the almost empty bottle of scotch with two fingers, holding it up to the light before giving me a dirty look. "Are you ever going to break up with the bottle, Bo?"

I grabbed the bottle from his hands, slapping the wet towel on to his shoulder and his immaculate black suit, "It's none of your business. You know I sober up and stay sober when I have a job." I smirked as he cringed and groaned that I had water stained his thousand dollar suit. I walked to my kitchen, one that was also a mess. My whole house was a mess, it happens when you sort of stop caring about a lot of things. I took a quick look around at the mess now that the cold water had cleared my vision. I looked away; the house was just a big of a mess as I was if not bigger. I decided to occupy myself with making coffee rather than noticing hadn't cleaned up in almost six months. Myself or my home.

"Did you stop by to tell me how to lock my door or do you actually have something for me." I slid the bottle of scotch in a cabinet, frowning when it hit me that it was the last bottle I had. I turned to look at Davey, still swiping at whatever water he thought was on the suit. "I could use some grocery money."

Davey rolled his eyes, reaching for the silver briefcase he had next to him, "Let's be real, you need beer money." He sat in my old beat up leather chair that I began to fall asleep in more than my bed these days.

Clicking open his briefcase he smiled, looking at me. "Bo, you remember the first time we met?"

I ignored him. Only holding up a coffee mug to silently ask if he wanted some. He nodded and kept on as I fidgeted with the screw top of the giant red can of coffee on my cluttered counter. "It was your first day on assignment. You were bright faced and eager, as all rookies are. I had heard a lot about you during your academy run. Ysabeau Dennis, top of her class in classwork, field work, shooting, defense tactics and the best negotiator the agency had seen in a handful of years. You were so neat and put together that a pin would bounce off the collar of your shirt."

I clenched my jaw, watching the dark brown liquid take slow languid drips to the empty and stained glass pot. I remembered the day Davey was talking about like it was happening right now. I wanted to cover my ears when Davey continued.

"I knew there was something special about you Bo. We all had bets that first week you were going to be assigned to the presidential detail by the end of the year. You were the perfect agent. Neat, professional, respectful and smarter than the rest of us. Sober." The last part was thrown in as a slight dig. He took a deep breath as I glanced back at him. He was scanning around the pit I had turned the small house into, "What the hell happened, Bo?" it wasn't a question; it was a friend asking out of concern.

I shook my head, laughing lightly, "You know what happened. You were there." I waved my hand at him, "Bottom line, life happened. The shitty parts of life happened and yea, I have obviously stopped caring a little bit."

He raised an eyebrow, "A little bit?"

I angrily pulled the pot of coffee from the machine, slopping fresh coffee into two cups, "Do you have something for me or not? If not, then I will kindly ask you to leave so I can get back to searching out my next temp job."

I heard the soft click of the briefcase closing mixed with the soft slide of papers across the arm of the leather chair he sat in. "I do."

I turned and walked back to Davey, handing him his cup. Which he looked at questioningly for signs of stains before taking a sip. Setting the cup down on a tattered magazine he folded his hands over the notorious brown file folder that the government loved to use to keep secrets from prying eyes. Davey looked at me with his deep hazel eyes.

I had to admit the man was handsome. Only a few years older than I, Davey Janes had black hair with hazel eyes that almost bordered on copper if the light hit them just right. I could see the Eastern European in him, but I never asked where he was from originally. I just knew he lived in D.C. when I lived there. He was open about his life when he needed to be but rarely shared much outside of what he told me over the years. Davey was tall, athletic, neat and even smelled good no matter if he was in a cool clean room or in a dumpster digging out evidence.

Davey had also been my closest friend and only friend for the last three years. He had started his own contract security firm the year after my world went to shit, and took pity on me. Throwing me low level celebrity security jobs. Ones where you scanned the crowd at award ceremonies for nuts or drove the obnoxious stars around to hair appointments. It paid decent and I could pick and choose when I wanted to sober up or when I did actually need grocery money.

I took a deep breath, leaning back in the couch cushions, "What is it this time? I know the Oscars are coming into town."

Davey smiled tightly, focusing back on the file under his folded hands. "Bo. You were one of the best if not the best. You still are, I can tell in the reviews I receive from clients."

I rolled my eyes, drinking the black coffee, "It's not that hard to babysit the spoiled."

"Bo, I need today to be the last day that you take a drink." His tone turned serious, making my dumb joke lose humor even with myself, "I need you to clean up, clean this house up and dig deep. Find that agent I served with for two years."

I shrugged, "Davey, you are acting weird. Acting like we are back at the Secret Service in pre- assignment briefing."

Davey met my eyes, staring hard at them, "Promise me. You will sober up, stay sober and get your shit together."

I instantly knew that he was briefing me. Briefing me for something bigger than driving a sassy starlet around town or protecting the next sexiest man alive from being groped on the red carpet. I leaned forward, gripping the warm cup with both my hands, "What is it." My tone changed to match his, cluing him in with a silent promise. He had peaked my interest enough to promise I would set the scotch aside. Maybe.

Davey handed me a thick file, "This came across my desk yesterday. Through back channels and hush hush communication. This is outside of the government's knowledge and wishes. It will pay big for a long time. Long enough for you to stock up on enough groceries to last you for at least the next three years, Bo."

I wrapped my fingers around the thick file, not ready to look at it. "Why me? You have a legion of people that are already sober and still following the path of a good agent. Within your firm and within your connections to all the agencies."

Davey leaned back in his chair, crossing well-tailored legs, "Because. You are the best, Bo. And you have fallen off the radar of being significant enough to question why you are suddenly part of a protection detail." He straightened his pale grey tie, "Which by the way, this is not a protection detail. If you get my understanding."

I rubbed my forehead. I hated the fringe word game the world of federal protection and deep undercover played. I sighed and opened the front page of the file. I looked at the photograph of the blonde woman paperclip to the thick personnel file.

I shot my eyes back up at Davey, "Senator Lewis? Senator Lauren Lewis needs secret protection?"

He nodded, "I cannot say too much because I don't know too much. This request came from her personal assistant as a direct request from Senator Lewis herself. Requesting undetectable protection from an outside firm not connected to the agency or the government she works for. "

I looked up at the ceiling, "She has Secret Service agents already."

"Yes, ones that she has denied more than just perimeter security for. They only follow her to work and to home. They do not enter her home or her office on the hill. They even have orders to park at least two blocks away from her personal home. She is bit of a cold staunch woman when it comes to her privacy."

I focused back on the file. I knew of Senator Lewis in my short time in the Secret Service. She had just been elected and I passed her once or twice in the halls of the capital. Senator Lewis was cold and stand offish, but did her job and did it better and fairer than most of the politicians in the government. I could also admit, only to myself, that I was a slight admirer of how beautiful she was. Senator Lewis was tall, blonde, lean and a perfect mix of elegance and fierceness that made her extremely attractive. Even in photographs. I recalled a moment or two where I had caught myself staring at the quiet woman who always had a look of determination in her eyes, but would always issue a genuine smile at you if paths crossed.

I vaguely knew from CNN and CSPAN that Senator Lewis was a forerunner for healthcare reform and using science to further medicine in the right ways, not the ways to make better erectile dysfunction drugs or create better insurance premiums. But the ways to help children with birth defects, cure simple forms of cancer and even possibly eliminate the common cold.

I read through her file quickly. It was a standard personnel file straight from the agency. Primarily Her educational and family background. The fierce Senator had grown up in Baltimore, Maryland. Only child to a wealthy family who had made money in the steel boom of the industrial revolution. Their money was old money, the best kind to have. Senator Lewis attended Oxford and received her first doctorate in research medicine, then came back to the states and worked her way through Princeton for a law degree. All before the age of thirty. It did help that the Senator had been graced with a genius IQ at birth and used it to her advantage. The rest of the file was just her political career and the small campaigns that took her from local city council up to seated Senator for the Republican Party.

I flipped through the rest, "So why does she need me?"

Davey shrugged, "I have no idea. She nor her assistant have not told us what the exact nature of protection she is looking for or why." He shifted and leaned forward in the leather chair, "She hasn't even technically hired us, you kinda have to interview with her first." Davey threw me a meek smile.

I blew out a laugh, tossing the file on to the newspaper covered table in front of me, "An interview? Really?"

Davey nodded. Pulling out his vibrating phone, checking the caller ID, I could see that this was the end of our visit. "Yes an interview. Today at five." He turned the phone off and jammed it back into his pocket, "I need you to sober up, take a cold shower than a hot one to scrub as much of the scotch stink off of you. I will pick you up at four thirty and we will drive together."

I stared at him, smirking, "I haven't had to interview for anything since meeting my agency recruiter in college."

He dug around in his front pocket and handed me a thin stack of bills, "Go out and buy yourself a new suit. I need the best you have to bring to the table Agent Dennis."

The smile on my face dropped at the sound of a title I had not heard in a long time. I knew he was serious about what he was asking of me and this request from a Senator. I hesitated until Davey raised an eyebrow, "Do this for me and we are even. Clean slate."

I cringed, "Dammit Davey. " I knew exactly what he was getting at. He had held me up more than a handful of times when my life went to shit, even if the cause was out of my control. I stood up and took the thin stack from him slowly, "What if I don't interview well." The sudden fear of going back into a suit, back into the world that had overturned me and tossed me out, crept in fast.

He grabbed his briefcase and the file I had tossed aside, tucking it back in safely. Davey stood up and smiled at me, "You will. Because for all the fuck ups thrown your way, you still put everything you have into the job you have to do." He turned and walked through my messy living room, "Four thirty, Bo. Clean and sober."

He left me standing in the middle of my messy living room holding onto crisp hundred dollar bills, wondering what the hell I just agreed too. I tucked the bills into the back pocket of my jeans, walked over to the last of the scotch I had in the cabinet. I screwed off the black plastic cap and dumped the rest down the drain. I then walked through the mess and to the bathroom, turning on the shower I tossed my wet clothes in with the rest of the pile outside of my bathroom door.

I climbed into an ice cold shower that made me think about my dreams and why the hell was I dreaming about penguins again.

* * *

XXXXX

The tarmac reflected the heat from the California sun straight to my body the moment the jet door opened. Forcing me to take off my suit jacket. Leaving D.C. in the middle of the winter had proven difficult when the fifth snowstorm of the month threatened to make me late. I hated being late and was thankful that my private jet pilot was a former fighter pilot. Telling me that flying through snow was no worse than flying through sand and RPG's.

I could feel and see how bright the day was through the aviator sunglasses I threw on the moment the plane door cracked open. Filling the cabin with yellow light. I took a deep breath of the California sun. Every time I came here, I could feel and breathe in the sun it was always so bright. I took a moment to enjoy the warmth and light, it had been a dreary beginning of winter back at the capital. Letting us all know winter was far from over even as it just started.

"Senator? How was your flight?"

I tore my eyes from the mountain view that sat on the edge of the small airport my family owned. Smiling at my long time personal assistant, Rebecca Marcus. The small brunette had been my personal assistant from day one I left Princeton and set sights on a political career. She was also a close friend, a trusted friend that extended past her duties as my assistant.

"Rebecca, you can leave the Senator back in D.C. We are on my time and my dollar now."

Rebecca grinned, taking my bag from me as she met me at the bottom of the plane, "I know Lauren. But it has been more than a few months since we have been outside of the city."

I groaned, "Yes it has. I blame the ongoing appropriations committee battles, the budget crisis and all the other nonsense that comes with this job." I put my hand on her shoulder, "After the meeting this afternoon, we are all on vacation for the next week. " I smiled, it was the yearly government hiatus and I would have a few days off to myself. No politics, no voters, no anything related to my job. I could sit in the vacation home our family kept in the hills of Malibu and work on the side projects I preferred over anything else.

Rebecca slid into the backseat of the black Mercedes sedan with me. She dug around in her small briefcase. Pulling out a thick manila envelope that was sealed, "This came for you by courier at the house." She handed it over to me, "It is the full unedited file on the candidate Janes has for us today."

I nodded and tore open the top of the envelope, "Everything?"

"Everything. I was able to use the same back channels to contact Janes for his services. All of this is clean, no trail on who pulled it or who requested it." Rebecca smiled at me, "Seven years and you still doubt me Lauren?"

I laughed lightly, "Not for a minute, even when you left the NSA to become my silly little assistant." I weighed the envelope in my hand, "But here is hoping this is your replacement Rebecca."

Rebecca shrugged and focused on the emails on her phone, "I left the NSA because you pay better, and geez Lauren, don't sound so excited to be rid of me. I thought we liked each other." She kept her smug grin, "We have just enough time to get to the house and you to get freshened up. Janes emailed me that he is about an hour out."

I nodded, dumping out the thick file into my lap. The brown file folder stamped with red Classified on the front was thicker than I expected, but it gave me hope that Davey had found me what I was looking for. Where other firms had failed to find or come close to supplying me.

Opening to the front page I glossed over the standard Secret Service bland photograph of the brunette woman with a blank face. They were always terrible photographs, washed out and too close making the poor person look like a bloated fool. I flipped to the personnel page, and was immediately taken by the woman's first name. Ysabeau Dennis. Quiet the unusual name and one that I couldn't immediately place where it's origin was form. Something I would have to look at later to ease my curiosity.

I read over the standard government file on Agent Ysabeau Dennis, retired. Her scores at the academy were the highest all across the board for her class and even in the last five years of academy classes. She had rave reviews from instructors and her on the job training Agents. The woman was smart, both street wise and book wise.

I tucked the sheets to the side and went to the personal aspects of this Agent Dennis. Born and raised in Pittsburgh to a teacher mother and a steel worker father, Dennis excelled in school. Honors through high school and even honors at Purdue University where she studied Foreign Policy and minored in Biology. She was recruited at a career fair by the Secret Service and was an immediate top choice and won selection the day after her graduation ceremony.

The next section of the file was the highly classified extra parts I had Rebecca request for me. I wanted to know this Dennis outside of the government and the accolades of college. I had a full police record for her, nothing more than a few speeding tickets as blemishes. Her personal life was also provided for me through the other channels Rebecca had, ones that I asked to be kept in the dark about.

Dennis was just normal and boring woman. Going to work at the capital then going home. She had a handful of boyfriends that never amounted to more than a May to December romance. Nothing stood out until about two years ago when she suddenly retired from the Secret Service and moved out to San Diego, where she fell off the radar until Davey started throwing her work. Dennis seemed to like scotch more than people in the last few years, her bank records showed multiple purchases for the liquor at her local party store. Agent Dennis was a new drunk, but a careful drunk. Only sticking to her house when she decided to find her life at the bottom of a bottle.

I flipped through the last few pages, not finding the one thing I wanted.

"Rebecca, there seems to be something missing. It says Agent Dennis retired suddenly. I don't see her Secret Service exit paperwork or anything on what could have been the cause of the retiring from her apparent dream job."

Rebecca reached into her bag again, pulling out a thin sealed white envelope. She held it out to me, meeting my eyes with her pale blue ones, "I wanted to wait until you asked for it. This was difficult to get." She paused, letting me know she had gone above and beyond my request. "This is the case file on the incident that forced Agent Dennis to retire, not by her wishes but the wishes of the agency."

I furrowed my brow at her, "Have you read it?"

She shook her head, "No. My contact who got me this information explained a few things to me. This was a partial cover up of a huge cock up on Agent Dennis's part and the one she was assigned to protect at the time." She took a breath, "Agent Dennis was on the detail for Ambassador Robert Williams." Rebecca stared at me intensely.

Ambassador Robert Williams was the British Ambassador to the United States and had begun receiving threats from terrorist cells for his outspoken support for the U.S. efforts overseas. The Secret Service had amped up protection but it wasn't enough. On a joint trip to Canada with the Secretary of State, Williams was ambushed.

I remembered clearly watching the news coverage from my new office as Senator for my home state of Connecticut. It had been a very bloody day in Montreal, one that many questioned how it could have happened with all the protection he had.

The incident had forever changed the relationship with the three friendly countries.

Silence filled the backseat of the car. I looked at the sealed white envelope. After a moment I tucked it in the back of the personnel file, "Well I think I will wait to look at this after I meet the woman. No need to pry open deep secrets unless it is necessary."

Rebecca nodded in agreement. The whole incident had caused such fallout with the Federal protection agencies and how they handled their foreign assets. One we were all still recovering from. One that also gave me the perfect excuse to keep my own protection detail at bay. It also helped that I had taken the stance that my own family's wealth would be better suited to find private protection than wasting tax payer's dollars on inept agents. It was how I maintained my ultimate privacy in my personal life and in the true work I was doing outside of my senate seat.

I handed the entire file back to Rebecca, turning my attention to the winding driveway to the Malibu vacation home I adored. The house was patterned after a Frank Lloyd Wright house and was tucked up into the rolling hills of the beach side town. Giving me the ocean, the beach and the privacy of the mountains all rolled into one. I couldn't help but smile as I saw the edges of the home and how it seemed to greet me.

I stepped out of the car and took another deep breath, this time of the ocean air; it had been far too long since I was away from the stuffy bustle of the nation's capital.

Rebecca pulled my bags from the trunk, "Lauren, we have a half hour. I will get the bags to your room and set up the sitting room for the meeting. You need anything else?"

I shook my head, "I can manage from here, Rebecca. Remember you are also on vacation."

Rebecca smiled and ran into the house. I slowly followed, my mind falling into thinking about other things than why I had to reach out to Davey in the first place. He was my last option, he should have been my first, but I didn't want to call on a favor from him until it was unavoidable.

The moment I walked into the shower, all thoughts washed away with the first drops of hot water hitting my skin. I stepped out and dressed in dark fitted jeans and a dark blue V-neck shirt, loving the feel of not having to wear polyester or stiff business suits. I put my hair up in a ponytail and left the makeup in the drawer until my return trip back to the city. I stood in my bedroom letting myself relax in the glass encased box with just a large soft bed. Minimal is what I wanted in this room, no shelves no dressers and only a few photographs on the wall. This home was my sanctuary away from the row house I had filled up with my medical research books and the volumes of American history and law books.

I stare out onto the rolling hills and the trees that led down to the beach, letting even more of my cluttered mind free itself from the world of politics and foreign policy I crammed into it daily. I wanted a clear head when I met this Agent Dennis and a clearer one when I set upon my other projects in the coming days.

"Lauren? Janes is here." Rebecca's soft voice made me turn to her as she stood in the doorway. She had yet to change and embrace the vacation like I had. I smiled and nodded, following her out to the other side of the house and to the sitting room.

The sitting room was also wall to wall glass windows, filling the immaculately decorated room with even more warmth than it already provided. I smiled when I spotted Davey sitting upright on the brown leather couch. I walked to the side of the couch, smiling, "Davidek." I watched him blush at the use of his proper given name.

He stood up immediately, "Lauren." He had a sheepish grin on his face as I held out my arms to hug my childhood friend.

He was still embarrassed but accepted the hug, whispering our longtime greeting in Czech. I smiled wider as my eyes caught the rigid brunette who had been seated next to Davey. Her brow was furrowed in confusion and she tried not to stare at us. I took the opportunity to look at her and was taken aback by how beautiful the woman was.

Her brown hair was dark, almost the color of chocolate and pulled up into a tight bun. Her eyes were just as deep dark brown and even though I could see the lingering haze of a hangover in the pupils, I could see that they probably lit up a room when give the correct circumstances and atmosphere. Her eyes also instantly made me feel safe when they looked in mine for a split second. Made me feel safe in the way that I knew she would do her best to protect the one she was assigned too. There was a strange feeling of overwhelming trust when I looked at the woman.

Bo also had a simply beauty about her that peaked my interest. I could see the faint mark of a dimple at rest on her cheek that flowed into an angled jaw that gave her a strange sex appeal. The woman was gorgeous and her Secret Service issued photograph had done her no justice. I smiled lightly when I noticed the price tag tucked in the sleeve of her brand new black pantsuit.

I leaned out of Daveys hug, "Thank you for coming on short notice."

Davey tried to hide his grin, but would always fail in my presence, "Not a problem, Laure..Senator Lewis." He cleared his throat. I smiled as he tried to keep a professional atmosphere that I had shattered the second I saw him. He turned to the brunette, "Senator, this is Ysabeau Dennis. The woman I told you about the other day."

The brunette stood up firmly and held out her hand, "Please call me Bo." She smiled and I could see the hint of the dimple forming, making me wonder what it looked like in all of its glory. I did take note of the lingering smell of scotch on her, as if it was stuck in her pores even though she had done her best to scrub it all out. I would have to ask Davey later about the sobriety of this woman.

I took her hand and appreciated the firm handshake she offered, "Bo, it's nice to meet you." I looked directly in her eyes and was even more impressed when she didn't break eye contact with me until I did. I motioned to the couch, "Please sit. Would you like anything to drink? Water, coffee, tea, scotch?"

I watched as Bo's eyes flickered at the mention of scotch. Davey glanced at her, "We will both have water."

I motioned to Rebecca who had been standing off to the side; she nodded and left the room. Returning quickly with three waters and the personnel file I had read in the car. She handed me the thick file and I watched as Bo's eyes latched onto it. Panic slipping across them as she graciously took the offered water.

Davey held his glass after taking a sip, "Bo is my best girl. I worked with her at the Secret Service and she has done exemplary work for me at the firm."

I smirked at his salesman speech, "I know Davey. I knew you would bring me the best when I asked for it. But I actually would like to speak to Ms. Dennis alone." I met his eyes, he nodded in agreement. Davey and I had always had a way of communicating in the simplest looks and words. Developed from the time we were running around the expansive backyard of my parents Connecticut estate as seven year olds.

I waited until Rebecca escorted Davey to the kitchen before I picked up the file. Watching once again as Bo's eyes followed it. "Ms. Dennis, you obviously can tell that I may know more about you than you want by this file in my hands."

Bo's jaw clenched in answer, cluing me in that she had possibly developed a lack of patience and a quick temper over the years. "You are a Senator, Senator Lewis, I would expect you to have access to my files."

The tone in her voice had an edge to it, held in by the restraint taught at the academy.

I opened the file, flipping through pages until I got to the white envelope of the Montreal incident. I pulled it out and set it on my lap, tossing the rest of the file on the rich mahogany table between us. "Ms. Dennis, you are the best. Of all the candidates I have searched out, no one has compared to the knowledge and experience you have. Your scores at the academy were outstanding and your Secret Service record is practically flawless."

Bo's jaw twitched harder.

I took a deep breath, I had known in the first few minutes of meeting this woman, she would be the perfect fit for what I needed. "Even though I can smell the scotch you seemed to have bathed in last night, I can see that you have the ability to discreetly follow through on the job I am searching someone for."

Bo looked away from me, it was obvious I was reading her better than she wished. "Senator, what exactly is this job you are hiring for?"

"I need a private protection for reasons that may be revealed in time. In a time that when I am certain I can trust you fully." I fidgeted with the sealed envelope in my hands, "You will be hired under the guise that I am in need of a new personal assistant, that Rebecca, my current and trusted assistant is leaving to take over in an administration capacity at one of the medical research companies I help fund. You will take her place and follow me around as she would do on a normal day. But you will be my eyes and ears and my." I paused looking for a different word other than the one I despised using; I grimaced when I couldn't find a better one, "bodyguard."

Bo ran her hands down her thighs in a way that was obviously a nervous tick, "You have the Secret Service to be your bodyguards and I am sure you can find a new assistant anywhere." She was irritated, and wore it clearly on her face.

I nodded in agreement, "Of course I have those resources, but I need someone I trust or can be trusted in time. Davey would not send me anything less." I took a breath and set the white envelope down on the table between us, "The work I do in the medical world has brought strange attention. I have been receiving threats as of late at the genetic work my own research staff has been doing as well as the work I support in the senate. Death threats, corporate espionage and I can no longer trust anyone inside the government, because the threats are coming from them as well."

I tapped the envelope on the table, "I am hiring you Ms. Dennis and as a sign of my trust, I am giving this to you."

Bo looked at the envelope, then back up at me confused, "This was my interview?"

"Yes, you won't have to return the suit you are wearing. I will give you your first months' paycheck in advance and a bonus to buy appropriate wardrobe. " I stood up, enjoying how easily I was able to fluster the woman and how easily I could read her, "I wanted to meet you Ms. Dennis. I read you completely the moment I laid eyes on you. Call it a talent that I honed in during my youth, my intuition tells me that you will do well at this job." I reached for the call button on the phone next to the chair I had sat in, letting Rebecca know the meeting was over.

Bo stood up and I saw the conflict on her face. I knew she needed a job, a stable one that would pay the overdue bills on her small house in San Diego and bring her back into the world she truly had a talent for. I had her between a rock and a hard place where she couldn't refuse.

It took Bo a moment before she picked up the white envelope, "When do I start and is this my benefits package?" Her comment had a sarcastic edge to it. I knew she was taking this job out of the simple fact she needed one badly.

"You start Monday. That will give you the weekend to completely dry out, clean up and buy a decent wardrobe for D.C. The next three weeks will be your training with Rebecca to learn the ropes of being by my side 24/7." I glanced up at the brown eyes, noticing the distaste she was trying to hide for me especially as I brought up once again her sobriety and present lack of it. To her I was just a stiff Senator that was over privileged and afraid of the bible thumpers who hated my genetic research. In time she would understand that there was far more too it and why I needed her.

I pointed at the white envelope, "That is not your benefits package. That contains your secrets; ones I would prefer you to tell me when I have earned your trust. I have not looked at it and will not until you give me a reason too." I said the last part with a firm tone; I would not look into her failure as an Agent unless she failed me. I preferred to keep a clear mind about the woman standing in front of me that I had just hired to be my shadow.

Our eyes met in an intense stare, both of us trying to figure out if this was the right move. Bo broke eye contact first when Rebecca and Davey entered the room. I grinned at Davey, whispering in Czech that I had hired Bo and he would be receiving the final paperwork on the way out.

Davey smiled and nodded walking over to Bo who was obviously holding in her building anger. She clutched the white envelope and smiled tightly as I issued my goodbyes and left Rebecca to show them out. Bo threw me one last look that could be considered a stiff glare, she was irritated and biting her tongue. I smiled, knowing her temper would be an issue and a challenge as she detoxed.

I walked to the kitchen and dug out the bottle of vodka I kept in the freezer, I was officially on vacation.

* * *

XXXX

"What the fuck Davey? Or should I say Davidek?" I walked quickly to the black BMW sitting in the driveway of the fancy house of the uppity Senator I just interviewed with, "You're Czech? Why did you never tell me that?"

I was fuming mad and irritated. I had been picked apart by the blonde in ways that got under my skin more than the agency psychologist.

Davey shook his head at me, "Just be happy you have a job, Bo." He unlocked the car just as my hand grabbed onto the handle.

Ripping the door open I sat down in the passenger seat, "How long have you known Senator Lewis? What kind of fucked up bullshit have you gotten me into." I slapped the white envelope on my lap, waiting for my rage to edge back before I dug around in the vague secrets the woman had placed in there.

Davey took a slow breath as he started the car, "Since I was seven. My family worked for her family as security. Lauren and I grew up together." He pulled sunglasses on to avoid looking at me, "I trust her through and through as if she was my sister."

"You could have told me that. You could have also told me that this was a interview to be her personal assistant, following her around handing her tissues and bottled water." I shook my head, "Babysitting the spoiled all over again."

"Bo, it's not like that, trust me in time you will understand. Rebecca filled me in on the basics while you and Lauren, interviewed. Your job will be far more than handing her bottles of water and picking up dry cleaning."

I chuckled angrily, "Yea cause I can really see that tiny girl protecting anything bigger than a fly." Rebecca was small and I took note of how small she was. My threat assessment training kicking in, noting the personal assistant of the Senator had probably slept her way to the top. Especially the way she looked at the blonde, told me there was something more than just business between those two. I groaned, "I need a drink."

Davey looked at me hard, "Part of your contract is no more drinking, period. You have to be sober and on your game." He turned back to the traffic he was trying to push out into, "For your information, Rebecca is actually a former NSA agent. One of the best they ever had, handpicked by Lauren years ago to be in her close circle."

I spun my head around to look at the man, now picking up the Czechoslovakian features in his face, "NSA?"

He nodded.

I took a deep breath, getting a sinking feeling in my gut. I ran a hand through my hair pulling out the bun to let my hair fall down, "What the hell have you roped me into." Receiving no answer from Davey I turned to the white envelope, it was a long drive back to San Diego as we were now in the middle of peak rush hour. I had nothing more to say to Davey that didn't involve my favorite curse words and questioning what exactly I was getting myself into. All I cared was I would be getting a paycheck tomorrow and a bottle of fancy scotch to celebrate the new job.

I smirked and tore open the edge of the envelope, my fingers plucking out the thin stack of papers, my mind wandering to the big bottle of nice scotch on the top shelf of the liquor store. I had missed good scotch.

When my eyes settled on the top of the first page I could feel my face go pale, my hands began to tremble and my heart pound with fear. I also felt the tears rush to the edge of my eyes as I tried to stuff the case file back into the envelope. Davey turned to look at me, watching me struggle at cramming papers back in.

He grabbed my elbow, "Bo, you okay?"

I turned to look at him, the tears falling as I pushed out the words in a choke, "How did she get the Montreal file? That was supposed to be classified to a clearance above and beyond even the president."

Davey said nothing as I turned away from him, focusing on the passing highway. I could see my reflection in the tinted window. I wiped away the tears and stared at myself, willing the memories of that day to stay as far as away as they could before I lost it completely. Lost the walls I had built up to protect my mind and heart from what happened that day.


	2. Chapter 2

Davey and I did not speak the almost three hour drive back to my house. It took me far too long to regain my composure from viewing the small edges of a few sheets of paper. The white envelope sat in my lap with my right hand clutching it in a death grip. I was afraid to let go of it, afraid that if I did more would know failures of my life it held. I spent the silent drive staring out the window, memorizing license plates and staring at the concrete jungle that was the California highways.

Davey pulled into my driveway, parking his sparkling new black BMW behind my broken down and beat up red sedan. The same one that I still had from college because it was now the only thing I could afford. I went to reach for the door handle to make my quick escape.

"Bo. Do you want to do this job." He gripped the steering wheel and looked at me, still wearing sunglasses but I could feel the stare through the shaded lenses.

"I don't think I have a choice." it came out quiet, the words sinking the air as they left my mouth. I looked at my small house, my broken down car and my broken down life, "Actually, I know I don't have a choice." I knew I could not back out of this job with a simple no thank you. Senator Lewis had made it clear the amount of access she had to the deepest and darkest corners of the earth that I thought my secrets had been tucked into. I could suffer being a babysitter for a few months then hope she would fire me after I failed to keep up the standards her precious Rebecca had set.

Davey pulled off the sunglasses, his eyes picking up the light. Making the copper highlights in his eyes become radiant, "I chose you because you are the best. You were the first choice, the only choice when Lauren called me." His eyes drew to the white envelope, "I think this is your chance for redemption." He said it so softly that I wondered if he was also looking for redemption in the mess I had left behind in Montreal and dragged him through. He was there; he knew exactly what was in the white envelope. Maybe more.

I cringed and turned to look back out the window, "I don't need to seek redemption for my sins. If that's what you're trying to preach to me." I swallowed hard, "But no more secrets Davey, no more blindsiding me and throwing me under the bus." I grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open. I was done talking since there was nothing left for me to say. I squinted when the afternoon sun smacked my puffy eyes hard. I looked down into the open door, "Thanks for the ride and the job." I closed the door, walking to my front door as I dug around for my house keys.

"Bo, call me if you need me. Like I said, I trust Lauren. She will not be like the rest." Davey called after me, half hanging out the driver's side door.

I looked back at him, smiling tightly before I kicked my front door open and slammed it shut behind me. I heard the BMW rev off into the street and away from the house.

I peeled off the brand new suit jacket, tossing it over the back of the couch as I continued to walk to my bedroom. Inside my bedroom, I threw the white envelope on the middle of the bed before I pulled off the white button down that was soaked through from my nervous and anxious sweating, also tossing that into a corner.

I walked by the dresser that had drawers stuffed with clean laundry I cared little to fold or put away properly, reaching into one propped open drawer I yanked a tattered t-shirt from it. Dragging it over my body, I held onto the edge of the dresser as I stripped away the suit pants. Standing in my underwear I searched out the random pairs of jeans I had splattered across the room. I dug into all of the pockets until I found random bills and a handful of change. I quickly counted and smiled when I had just enough.

I slid into the cleanest pair of jeans on the floor, tossed my black heels into the closet. Switching them out for my comfortable, worn out brown boots. I had one goal on my mind and was laser focused on it before the afternoon shifted into evening and evening shifted into the part of the night that I hated the most. The time when I had to try and fall asleep.

* * *

I walked out of the house, not bothering to lock the door. Why bother? If someone tried to break it in, they would already think the house had been ransacked. All because I gave less than two shits to put things away or clean up the messes I left behind. A consistent theme in my life as of the last few years.

I shoved the key into the ignition of the tired old red sedan, groaning as it only clicked and ticked. Letting me know that the car had enough. I had run it ragged with no maintenance and the orange engine light blinked at me, adding that little extra fuck you to my day. I yanked the keys out of the ignition; slamming the driver's side door closed so hard the car rocked.

Jamming my keys into my pocket I started walking, pulling my sunglasses over my dry eyes. Dry eyes from crying in the cool interior of the BMW that I would kill to have right now to drive me the five blocks I was now forced to walk.

Walking kept me focused and out of my head. I had to pay attention to the heavy traffic on the main streets and be wary of the weirdos that hung out on the corners. The main reason why I would drive to the liquor store that was just five blocks away.

I had walked once before. Only because I was so drunk I couldn't drive and I wanted more scotch. That was a bad night for me and the creeper that tried to grope me in the alley as I passed. He walked away with a broken nose and a shattered forearm. I walked away empty handed and blood spattered.

The liquor store was nothing special, a typical corner party store that sold snacks, beer, cigarettes and had a large selection of liquor. I waved at Tito the cashier when the doorbell rang to let him know a customer was coming in. He smiled wide when he saw me, "Hey B! How's it hanging?"

I dug out the wad of bills and change, slapping it on the counter, "Always to the left, Tito, always to the left."

Tito chuckled at the daily inside joke, moving without a second word to the lower shelf to grab my usual. He set it on the counter, covering the money I had set with his big meaty hand. Tito was a big guy, huge actually. He and I would chat once in a while, depending on how sober or how drunk I was. He was someone I trusted because he had driven me home once or twice when I was so drunk I barely made it to the parking lot before falling on my ass.

Tito slid the bottle into the classic brown paper bag liquor stores lived and died. I grabbed it and before I walked out, I pointed at the top shelf where he kept the best bottles. "I will be back for that one tomorrow, Tito."

Tito turned to the dusty sixty dollar bottle of Dewar's on the top shelf, he looked back at me, "I will have it here for you B. You celebrating something?"

I nodded, tucking the brown paper bag under my arm, "I got a new job today, Tito. I can finally afford the best." I waved at him and went to walk out he called after me, "What you gonna be doing this time B, driving around that hot redhead in the new fast car movie? Can you get me her autograph?"

I laughed, "I wish it was that redhead, but sadly no, Tito. I am going to be driving around a stuck up nosy blonde Senator." I waved at Tito, watching his eyes widen. I left the store before he peppered me with a billion questions.

Back at the house, I grabbed the last clean glass I had and went to my bedroom. I turned on my small stereo, hit play on the iPod I had tucked in the dock. Turning the volume up as the rich tenors of Stabat Mater filled the room, drowning out the white noise that had been chasing me the second I was told I had an interview.

I sat down on the bed as the music flowed around me. I grabbed the white envelope, setting it in my lap I unscrewed he black plastic cap of my brand new bottle and filled the glass up to just below the edge. I traded the bottle for the envelope, dumping the case file out on to the empty space of my bed. I took large sips as Montreal was scattered before me. The photographs adding splashes of color to the clean white pages that were missing the heavy handed black marker of a government censor.

I drank faster as I caught key words that made my heart tighten, I pushed papers and photographs around until the memories that hid in the back of my mind finally became more vivid, alive.

I drained the glass of the amber liquid and quickly filled it up again; the scotch was doing its job fast. My stomach was empty since I had not eaten yesterday. I drank half the new glass in two gulps and before I knew it my face was wet with tears I could not feel rolling down. I was completely numb.

I snatched the case file up and went to throw it on the floor when I saw a photograph slip out of the stack in my hand and float back to the bed. The photograph I had only looked at once before, when it was slid across the table in my debriefing of that day.

It had been taken by a witness, a tourist with a fancy camera. A tourist who was at the right place to snap the picture that had to be confiscated by the Secret Service.

I stared at myself, covered in blood and crying. Holding on to him and in mid scream. My face red with fear, anger and panic as I lay on the ground in the alley where we had been caught.

The colors in the photograph were so bright and vivid I felt as if I was back in the alley. I could hear the sirens, the screams around me, mine and the others. Then I began to smell the blood mixed with his cologne.

I slammed my eyes shut and crumpled the case file and photographs into a ball in my hand. I stood up and threw the ball of paper across my room as my screams of what the memories brought back became lost in the music that was bombarding the bedroom. The music seemed to sync up perfectly with my anger and screams, adding a morbid soundtrack to my breakdown. My half empty scotch glass followed the crumpled file closely, shattering against the wall and staining the paint on the wall. I collapsed onto the floor, sitting against my bed. Sobbing and chugging from the bottle, wishing the scotch to work faster and take me out of this sensory memory overload I was experiencing.

* * *

The horrid beep of a truck backing up rattled into my ears and amplified my hangover headache a million times over. I groaned and propped myself up on an elbow, sticking a hand out and yanking the blinds down so I could see where the truck was. I squinted, getting hazy hung-over eyes to focus on the bright yellow flatbed tow truck that was backing up into my driveway. The tow truck driver hopped out and began hooking up the red sedan in my driveway.

It took me longer than it should have to realize it was my red sedan he was towing.

"What the fucking fuck." I rolled out of the bed, not even taking note of how I managed to actually make it to my bed when the scotch took me completely out of reality. I stumbled out of the bedroom, running into the walls and struggling to get a hand around my front door knob. The scotch was still sloshing around my head.

I ripped the door open, almost throwing up when the bright sun charged at me, "HEY! What the fuck are you doing! That's my car asshole." I stumbled towards the tow truck driver I startled; he ran his eyes over me in a way that I knew I looked like a disaster. A drunken disaster.

"Hey, I am just doing what the lady over there told me." he dug around in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, "I even got a tow order paid in full to come pick this car up." he opened and read off the make, model and color of my red sedan. Even the license plate was mine.

I stared at him and swallowed down my stomachs desire to rid itself of the alcohol I had filled it with instead of food. I snatched the paper out of his hand, "What lady? I don't see a lady." I scanned over the tow order, my eyes trying hard to focus. I picked up a few things and at the bottom I saw the scrawled signature I couldn't read but the printed name next to the signature made my blood rise, Lauren Lewis was the authorizing agent and had paid in full for my car to be towed.

"Ms. Dennis, if you will please come inside the house I will explain everything."

I turned to come face to face with Rebecca smiling easily at me. Dressed impeccably in clean dark jeans and a pale pink button down, she motioned towards the house. Rebecca moved closer and placed a hand on my elbow, "Please? Let Robert get back to his job. I will explain everything." She cut me off before I could spew a what the fuck at her. The look in her eyes also told me that a scene would not be welcomed in her presence. I could see her hold back as she could easily smell the booze that was oozing out of me so much so; even I was starting to get drunk on it all over again.

I grimaced, handed Robert back the tow order and took a step back to the house. I stumbled and when I felt her hand on my elbow steady me I politely ripped it from her grasp, "I can walk on my own, thank you."

"Of course Ms. Dennis."

I rolled my eyes at her soft and polite tone. I walked into the house and straight to the kitchen, desperate for water I filled a glass and chugged two glassfuls before I held onto the edge of the counter to steady myself. This hangover would be a bad one.

I cleared my throat, "Why is my car being towed under the authorization of Senator Lewis?" My words came out with a bite and a sting.

"Ms. Dennis I am here to drop off your first month's paycheck and the signing bonuses for coming on board with Senator Lewis and her team." Rebecca was ignoring me.

I turned to look at the personal assistant slash former NSA agent. Rebecca had set a large black box with a smaller grey folder on top of the cluttered coffee table. She sat down in the same leather chair Davey had the day before and I suddenly felt like I was having Deja vu. Rebecca motioned towards the couch, "Please?"

I took a deep breath, pushing off the counter and staggering over to the couch. Falling down on to it, I had only one thought. I needed to buy breakfast with my first paycheck and soon before I did throw up for the rest of the day.

When I was seated Rebecca, opened the grey folder. "First, this is your paycheck and a few instructions on how to set up direct deposit if you so desire." she set a small envelope to the side then picked up a thicker one, "This is your bonus, there is five thousand dollars in cash here. For wardrobe and other necessities." she smiled at me, "I can assist you in shopping if you would like."

I shook my head, "Thanks but I think I know how to pick black business pantsuits out, I was a stuffy agent once too." I leaned forward and reached for the paycheck, pulling out the direct deposit form I glossed over it as Rebecca stared at me.

The silence was what caught me. I expected Rebecca to ramble on as all personal assistants did. I had my fair share of that in my celebrity protection work. I looked up at Rebecca with half a smirk, "Did you need me to pay attention?"

Rebecca smiled tightly and looked down at her hands, "Bo, may I call you Bo?"

I shrugged, "I don't really care." it came out quiet; my hangover was making its presence known at a rapid rate. My head pounded.

"I highly suggest you start to care, Bo." Rebecca stared in my eyes, hard and in a way that unnerved me. "Lauren. Senator Lewis is entrusting you with not only the protection of her work but the protection of her life and that is not something I will sit here and have a drunken fallen star shit all over." She stood up straighter, "I know Janes told you I was NSA, and I was yes. I know the life of a protection agent. I spent at least four years on some of the worst details in some of the most dangerous parts of the world. So I fully understand what it takes to keep Senator Lewis safe. What she sees in you or even what Janes sees in you, I am looking forward to seeing it. You have three weeks to not only prove Senator Lewis that you are the best they all think you are, or once were, but you also have to prove to me that you will be able to keep her safe." Rebecca stood up quickly and dug around in her pocket, throwing a pair of car keys on the box. My eyes latched on to them as they slid across the box top and hit the wooden table with a thunk.

Rebecca pointed at them, "Lauren is towing your car because she knows that it's the same one you have had since college, and no longer a reliable vehicle. Those are the keys to your new car." she then tapped the box lid, "This is also the last bottle of scotch or booze you will dump into your body. Call it a parting gift from Lauren, she figured your last bottle should be your best." I could sense the irritation rising in Rebecca. Watching her smooth out her pristine pale pink button down, "Monday, be at Senator Lewis's Malibu home at eight am. You and I start then. Don't be late." She turned and glanced around my house, taking note of how filthy it was.

She walked towards the front door and paused before turning back to me. Rebecca looked at me with genuine pale blue eyes. "None of us know what happened to you. We are all putting our faith in the fact that you truly were the best agent the Secret Service ever saw Ysabeau. Put your faith in yourself." Rebecca smiled tightly and walked out of my house, closing the door quietly.

I stared at the front door for a moment before I tore open the paycheck; it was for ten thousand dollars. I pushed out an astonished laugh staring at the number. My paychecks had only barely passed two thousand in my days with the agency; this was a ridiculous amount of money. I set the check down slowly and pulled the black box closer to me; gently lifting the lid I whispered a holy shit.

Nestled in soft satin was a black matte bottle of fifty year old Chivas Regal. A small off white card sat on the middle; I picked it up and read the note.

_"Your last drink should be your finest Ms. Dennis. From this point on, I will only accept your complete clear mind._

_-Senator Lewis."_

I shook my head and tossed the card back onto the bottle that I knew cost more than my house. I slammed the box lid back on, irritated by the audacity and balls my new boss had. I shoved the box away from me and grabbed the car keys. I walked out and saw that the tow truck and Robert were gone, as was my little red sedan.

In place of my trusted little sedan was a brand new sleek Lincoln Town car. I stared at it; the black shiny paint seemed to soak in the sun like a sponge. When I hit the unlock button clutched in my hands, the car beeped elegantly. I walked over to it and the closer I got to it, I began to notice the small details that this was not an ordinary car. The glass was ballistic glass, the car had also been armoured in a similar way as the rest of the vehicles in the Secret Service fleet. I wondered how much money did Senator Lewis really have and if my own taxes were paying my salary and for this car.

When I sat in the car I noticed that the GPS and navigation system had encryption, allowing only the driver to know where it was headed. The car was state of art and amazing.

I ran my hands over the leather wrapped steering wheel noticing that the entire car was fitted for protection like the cars I had driven in the agency, but beyond anything the agency could afford on a taxpayers budget. I looked around the car, admiring the finer details of a luxury car when I heard a small beep in the middle console. I opened the wood grained console and found a brand new smart phone plugged into the charging dock. I smiled, the cell phone I had was a piece of crap and stopped working the night before when I dropped it in the toilet.

The screen was blinking with a text message from S. Lewis. I swiped the screen and read the brief message. My smile fading fast as I scrolled through the message.

_-I hope everything is to your satisfaction Ms. Dennis. I am sure by now you have explored the new car and have put together why such a vehicle would be better suited for you than that sedan. This phone will be your primary phone, it is encrypted and I must ask that any future communication between you and I is done solely through this phone._

_The rest will be explained in detail on Monday. Please enjoy your weekend and the scotch.-_

I squeezed the phone out of irritation. This woman was already one step ahead of me and was far deeper into my life than I wanted. It should be the other way around. I had the sudden urge to prove this woman wrong in every possible way. I climbed out of the car and slammed the door, frowning when the thick plated doors shut slowly and quietly. Taking all of the satisfaction of slamming a car door away from me.

I groaned and walked back into the house, snatching up the paycheck and shoving it in my top dresser drawer. I then grabbed the five thousand in cash and the bottle of Chivas. Stuffing the fancy box of scotch in the back of my closet to be untouched, I jammed cash in to my small purse and set out to shower and go shopping. This woman, this Senator was already pushing my buttons in a way that my restraint and patience training from the agency would dissolve at a rapid rate.

* * *

XXXXXXXXX

I heard her come through the kitchen, setting her keys and her bag down. I had always been able to feel Rebecca whenever she was close, it was my intuition and the fact we had been together for so long. Working closely as my friend and personal assistant.

I set the tablet down on the couch next to me; I had spent the afternoon reading over progress reports from Geneva in the sitting room.

Rebecca handed me a thick manila envelope and a cold glass of tea, "I met the courier at the door. These are my final test results and the report you asked for from Dr. Zehren."

I took the envelope and the tea, "How did it go with Ms. Dennis? How did she like the new car? The scotch?" I was curious to hear of the reaction from my new employee. I knew she had spent her last ten dollars on the cheap scotch and had more than likely drowned her self once again. I smirked, thinking about the blustery reaction I was certain Rebecca had witnessed.

Rebecca stood next to me, her hands on her hips, she stared out the window and down into the panoramic view it offered. I noticed her jaw clench, "Are you sure about this Bo, Lauren?"

I turned to look at the brunette, "Tell me."

Rebecca turned her gaze to my eyes, "She is abrasive, aggressive in all the wrong ways and lazy. Her house looks like it was robbed and abandoned. She is messy in her personal life and prefers to drown her sorrows in cheap booze." Rebecca spoke quickly, each syllable riddle with distaste for her replacement. "I don't agree that she can keep you safe and protect the work."

I smiled, nodding, "I understand, Rebecca. I know that Ms. Dennis is a sloppy mess that needs a refresher course in etiquette and a deep detox." Rebecca stepped closer to me, "But she is the best. I know it and I can see it in her eyes behind the hangover and whatever damages her past mistakes are lingering." I took a slow breath, "And I need you in Geneva."

Rebecca crouched down to kneel next to me so that we were eye to eye as I stayed seated on the couch. She covered my hand that held onto the courier package, "Lauren, I just worry about you." She turned my hand over so she could slide her fingers into mine, "I owe you my new heart."

I looked at our hands together, and sighed. "Rebecca, you owe me nothing. You are the reason why I found my way to the work we are doing now." I squeezed her hand as silence fell between us, "If I could go back."

Rebecca shook her head, leaning forward she pressed a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth, whispering, "We can't. Even if I wish it just as much as you do, Lauren." She smiled and met my eyes, brushing a loose strand of hair from my face, "Things had to change." I felt my jaw clench at her touch, it had been a long time since she and I had broken the unspoken lines between us.

Rebecca stood up, still holding my hand, "I told Bo she had three weeks to prove to me that she was worth it, worth being by your side. If she isn't, I won't leave you until we have found the proper replacement."

I took a deep breath. I looked down at our hands, still together as faint memories of Rebecca and I crept around my mind. I gently pulled my hand free, "I promise, in three weeks' time I will be saying goodbye to you as I send you to Dr. Zehren to continue where I left off until I can get there again." I looked up into the pale blue eyes that held emotions that were only reserved for me, "Bo will do fine. I have faith."

Rebecca nodded, taking one last look at me before she left the sitting room in a quiet whisper of steps.

I took a moment to clear my thoughts before I tore open the thick manila envelope with Swiss stamps dotted over the front. I pulled out the genetics and DNA strand test reports as well as Rebecca's full physical she had done on her most recent visit with Dr. Zehren. I smiled as her new heart was progressing as both Dr. Zehren and I hoped. The test was proving to be successful.

I flipped through the extensive report. Bo would certainly have her work cut out for her in the coming weeks as my enemies began to get a hold of this new information.

**So i threw this chapter up for you all. i am going to be tied up the next few days with little time. But read review and enjoy the ride! remember this is only the first two chapters, keep in mind that i never lay all my cards out at once, so if it doesn't make sense or it feels secretive...its because it is and i will clear it all up in a few chapters time. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

I never could sleep in, it was something that escaped me as a child and carried through my entire life. For whatever reason, my body wanted to be up every day at six in the morning. I often felt it was because my brain was always in a state of thought or problem solving.

Since I was on vacation, I took the opportunity of not having anything scheduled on a Monday and walked the grounds of the Malibu home. Hot cup of tea in hand, I walked to the edge of the backyard so I could look down the hill and take in the ocean view. Quiet, peaceful and endless. Three perfect descriptive words of the ocean in the morning. No sunbathers, surfers or random people bothered to get up this early and travel through the sand below.

I soaked in the early morning sun and walked slowly, letting the stress of D.C. wither away with every step. I loved that I could wear jeans and V-necks the entire time I was here. I had no one to impress aside from Rebecca. She had seen me in plenty of Senator suits and ball gowns and once told me she always preferred it when I was dressed down and my hair was messy from the wind. She told me that I was less stuffy when I wasn't in Senator mode.

I began walking back to the house to refill my tea when I heard the gravel driveway being shifted around under the weight of a car. By the distinct sound and checking of my watch, 0730 ticking at the hands on the dial, I knew it was Bo pulling into the driveway.

Today was her first day at work.

Walking to the edge of the driveway and side yard, I smiled watching Bo navigate the new car with precision and care. Exactly as all of my previous Secret Service drivers had done until I opted to have Rebecca or my own private drivers.

I could hear the soft bass tones of music in her car and when she opened the door I was taken aback by the distinct sounds of Symphony in C minor flowing from the Lincolns high end sound system. I raised an eyebrow, I half expected Bo to be a rock and roll or heavy metal connoisseur. Regardless, I had a faint feeling this woman would continue to surprise me in the smallest ways.

Bo stood up, removing herself from the car and I couldn't help but stare longer than was appropriate. Bo had used the bonus and used it well. Gone was the stuffy black agent pantsuit I had met her in, replaced with a light grey pantsuit with a white top underneath that had sheer edges. Perfectly tailored in a way that accentuated her assets but did not make anything seem inappropriate. The whole outfit made Bo softer and when she glanced up from the car, pulling off her sunglasses as she smiled lightly in my direction. Her dark brown eyes were clear and caught the light, giving me full view that the scotch had left her system more than forty eight hours ago. Meaning her last purchase was truly her last.

Bo closed the driver's side door; walking to the back seat she held her smile, "Good morning Senator Lewis."

Her voice was even clearer. Gone was the gravelly rasp of too much drinking and sleeping on anything but a bed, "Good Morning, Ms. Dennis." I paused and glanced at my empty cup, "Is it alright if I begin to call you Bo or Ysabeau from this point forward?"

Bo grabbed her bag from the back seat, a black soft side briefcase that sagged at the bottom slightly. Letting me know the former agent had come prepared with her trusty .45 caliber sidearm registered to her. She swung the bag on her shoulder, closing the car door and locking it, "And what do I call you? Senator Lewis? Senator Lauren Lewis? Boss?" Although she was sober, the bite of her sass was still there.

I smirked, her tenacity was entertaining, "Senator Lewis in public and at the office in D.C. Here and in private, Lauren is sufficient. You are my personal assistant, it would be better if we were on first names."

Bo shook her head lightly, "And don't forget I am also your bodyguard. Secret bodyguard." She stopped to stand a foot away from me, her eyes meeting mine, "Where is Rebecca, my trainer."

I stood for a moment, looking in her eyes. They were a stunning color of almost dark chocolate and I could read her better and her emotions now that they were clear and free of the haze hangovers brought. I knew I was looking longer than I should have, still fascinated at how the Secret Service had not been able to properly photograph this beautiful woman.

I turned away towards the sound of a bird in the trees wanting a distraction from my thoughts, "Ysabeau, are you from Hebrew heritage or the Spanish origin of the name."

Bo took a slight breath, hinting at irritation building, "Spanish. There is a few Spanish ancestors in my family. Call me Bo, whenever I hear Ysabeau I look around for my grandmother."

I nodded and turned away from the tree, "Rebecca is inside, finishing up today's itinerary. Follow me and we will get started." I shifted towards the door, "How does the car handle? Is it to your liking?"

Bo followed me as I walked to the side door, "It handles better than any car I have ever driven. It must have cost a pretty penny. Taxpayers penny." There was an edge to her tone that I couldn't place, nor did I want too. She was testing me as much as I had her in the last few days. I could see it clearly.

I held the door open for Bo and as she stopped, waiting for me to take the lead again I smiled tightly, "It cost me a pretty penny. All of the things you have received and will receive from me are from my pocket alone. I refuse to use taxpayers money to supplement my own protection or desires." I walked past her, "In time you will understand that being a Senator not only benefits the people I serve but it benefits the work I am doing."

We walked into the kitchen, I set my cup down in the sink and over my shoulder I asked Bo. "Would you like something to drink? Coffee, water, tea, juice or something stronger."

Bo set her bag down with a soft clunk as the gun in her bag hit the wooden floors, "Coffee will be fine, Lauren." My name came out with a hint of hesitation, as if she was testing me and my request to be less formal.

There was something about the way my first name sounded in the slight tenor of her voice that struck me. Made me swallow hard and feel a small touch of embarrassment. I grabbed the freshly brewed pot of coffee to focus on something other than Bo and filled up a cup. When I handed it over to Bo, I noticed her hands were trembling. An effect of alcohol being out of her system for longer than it was used too. I took note to see how long it would take her to steady the hands that would ultimately carry my life if and when the need arose.

Bo picked up the cup with both hands; effectively controlling the trembling and when I glanced at her, she was looking down. Determined to will her hands to stop.

I went to ask about the bottle of scotch I had sent over, but was interrupted before I could utter one word. Rebecca breezed into the kitchen, smiling wide at me when our eyes met. The smile faded slightly when she saw Bo standing next to me.

"Good morning Ms. Dennis. I didn't expect you for another fifteen minutes."

Bo set the coffee on the counter but still held on to it, "My mother always taught me arriving on time was being late. I am always early to whatever job I have to do."

Rebecca nodded, moving to stand next to me as she handed me the tablet. Pointing to a few emails I had received from Dr. Zehren. I looked over at Bo and noticed that she was watching Rebecca and me, the gears in her head examining and observing the way Rebecca and I interacted. I knew her agent training and the fact that all of her training agents had noted in her file that Bo had exceptional observation skills, she was bound to pick up that there was something she would question me about later. If lines had been crossed at one point and when.

I felt flush and stepped away from Rebecca, quietly thanking her for the tablet. I swiped through the emails as Rebecca turned her attention to Bo, "Nice to see you put a concerted effort into leaving the black agent suits at home."

Bo half smiled and shrugged, "Thank you, but by the looks of things, it's causal Friday here every day." She made a point to scan over my worn jeans and shirt as well as Rebecca's outfit.

Rebecca's jaw clenched at the comment. She was also dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt. We were on vacation and Bo was technically right, during the next three weeks it was casual Friday every day.

"I am on vacation, Senator Lewis is on vacation. You, Ms. Dennis, are in training. Therefore you will continue to dress appropriately until Senator Lewis directs you so." Rebecca's tone was firm and clear. For a second I wondered if there was some sort of jealousy hiding in her.

I watched the two women glare at each other; I pushed off from the edge of the sink I had been leaning against. Tucking the tablet under my arm, "Rebecca, I have already told Bo to call me Lauren here and to leave the Senator at the office." I glanced over at Bo, "She also prefers Bo over Ysabeau."

I saw a slight relief in Bo's eyes when she looked my way, as if I had given her a win in the silent competition that was brewing between them.

Rebecca cleared her throat, "I understand. Bo, if you will please follow me, we will get you started on how to access the senate emails as well as Lauren's other email accounts."

Rebecca turned and walked out of the kitchen, standing just outside of Bo's view she gave me a look that was once again questioning my choice in her replacement. I smiled and nodded to reassure her.

Bo set her cup back down, reaching for her bag, "Right behind you Rebecca." She went to make her way when she stopped, looking at me, "Oh and thank you for the bottle of scotch, Lauren. I have tucked it away to be unsealed and opened when the time calls for it."

Bo left the kitchen before I could comment.

When I was alone, I returned to the emails on the tablet. Grateful that my faith in Bo and her ability was correct so far.

* * *

XXXXX

The few sips of coffee had helped my continuing hangover. I couldn't control my shaking hands yet as my body was going through a slight withdrawal. I had not reached the heightened levels of a true alcoholic, but I was close. My last drink was almost three days ago and each hour that passed my senses cleared, I was quicker to pick up things and react. I had forgotten how cloudy I had been over the recent years and months and was grateful for a split second that I hadn't done any permanent damage.

I followed Rebecca through the angular halls of the house. Watching her walk with a quick purpose, I thought back on the Senator and her in the kitchen. I had picked up on something going on between them during my interview and it was reaffirmed as I watched them interact. The way Rebecca broke personal space in a way that issued a sense of comfort that went beyond just a friendship. Then the Senator blushing when she caught me watching, telling me that my instinct about those two were right.

Something I would definitely ask about as I settled into the job. I wanted to know if I was the replacement for the woman and a bad break up. The Senator was beautiful, even more so when she was wearing just jeans and a t-shirt and her hair down, tussled by the wind. I could appreciate her looks more now that I was sober and things were clearer, but I would have to be careful that I wasn't picked for more than just a protection job. Even if her golden brown eyes gave me a strange sense of comfort and strength whenever ours met in glances and stares. I had already picked up that when the Senator stared at me, she was reading me. It was her tell and now that I recognized it, I would be able to bluff her when the time called for it. I had also taken note that my new wardrobe was a hit with the Senator, tailoring it to fit me perfectly was money well spent in her eyes.

I adjusted the bag in my hand, clutching it kept my hand steady while the free one was balled into a fist. I did not want Rebecca to notice my shaking and run me through the wringer again of how I was far from suited for this job.

We took stairs down to a cool and well decorated basement office. Rebecca began talking as she punched in a key code on a small pad next to the office door. "I will get you set up with your own access code in a few minutes. Each of us have a code that tracks who and how often this office is access." She pushed the solid door open and pointed to a small desk off to the right, "That will be your work station until I leave for Geneva. We can share my computer because it will also be yours in time."

I stood and looked around the room, picking up small details. Like the encryption hardware the wireless routers fed into, the soundproof ceiling tiles and the simple fact the computer on her desk was state of the art and nothing like I had ever seen, even in the bowels of the CIA building.

"Before we get started, Bo. There is one small non administrative issue to be taken care of."

I looked over at the smaller woman, "Are you going to lecture me again on how unfit you think I am."

Rebecca clenched her jaw, it was her tell that she was doing her best to keep her sharp tongue from lashing out across me. She turned and walked into a small closet. I heard a series of sequenced beeps and a heavy door being pushed open. A matter of moments later, Rebecca returned with a small black plastic box in her hand.

She set it on the table and motioned to the black bag in my hand, "You will not need to bring your personal firearm with you anymore. The .45 is too bulky to conceal and too loud."

It was my turn to clench my jaw. I had thrown the .45 in the bag as a last thought. I couldn't find my conceal holster and there was no way to hide the bulky silver gun in my tailored suit. I set the bag down on the carpet tile as Rebecca clicked open the black case.

"This is a Walther P99 .40 cal. It's been modified for concealment and for sound without inhibiting the accuracy of the firearm. This is the same weapon I used in my days at the NSA and has always proven itself to be an exceptional tool." She pushed the matte black finish gun towards me. I had seen a few in my detail days over in London. The sight of the firearm alone began to push memories of Montreal up from the depths I had tried to bury them in as I started to sober up.

I picked up the gun and found it to be of perfect fit and weight in my hand.

"Lauren had this gun custom made for you based off the specs acquired from your file. Qualifications will be next week in Los Angeles when the three of us head down for your first public event by her side."

I looked at Rebecca as I set the P99 back into its case, "Qualifications? You did also read in my file that I was top shot in my academy class as well as every year in my unit. You should have."

Rebecca smiled and nodded, "Oh I read all about you and your extensive celebrity in the Secret Service. The Agent Dennis who can do no wrong." She snapped the case shut, "I am requiring you to qualify. You have not shot a gun in the line of duty for almost two years and I need to know how much extra work I will have to do if you are rusty. You need to be at your top game and more if you are going to be protecting Lauren at her side."

I couldn't resist nor stop the words as they tumbled out of my mouth, this woman was pushing my buttons and I wanted to push back. "How long have you and Lauren been sleeping together?"

The flicker that came across the pale blues of the woman standing in front of me was enough. I had hit a nerve, a nerve that told me the truth without her ever saying a word. Rebecca looked down and pushed the gun case towards me, reaching down into her desk drawer and tossing a brand new concealable holster onto the black case, "You will also need this. Custom made. It will not be detectable under any clothing you may wear." Her voice was softer. I had definitely taken some of the wind out of her sails.

Rebecca pointed to the desk, "Sit and I will navigate your through the email access process."

I hesitated, enjoying the one up I pulled on the former NSA agent and current lover of the Senator.

Rebecca held the leather chair, "Please, sit. We have a lot to cover today." Her stare was not as hard as it had been over the last few days. It was something that came with being knocked down a peg or two in your ego; I would know I had spent the last two years having all of my pegs knocked out.

* * *

An hour and a half later and my headache was pounding. Rebecca had been talking nonstop as we set up my own email account and password.

"Lauren receives hundreds of emails a day, as you can see, and it is part of your job to sort them out. The ones from other senators forward directly to her second personal senate account. The one you will be sifting through is the public one. The one that all of her constituents can communicate to her. Some of those you can forward to the intern pool back in D.C. There they will answer them." Rebecca sat on the desk behind me, "Of course look for threatening emails and do as you did back in the day. Ensure her life is not at risk. Lauren has been receiving a lot of discouraging communication in the last year due to her support of genetic medical research."

I was beginning to zone out as I read email after email of citizens asking the senator if she could come to a flag dedication in backwoods town, USA. I clicked without discretion until Rebecca pulled a chair next to me, silently asking to take over the mouse.

I flicked it over her way.

"Bo, you will also have to keep tabs on the medical research emails Lauren receives. The Criterion Centre is the research facility in Geneva that the Lewis family has been donating too over the last almost ten years. It is a genetic research facility that has been aiding in finding the genetic causes of some inherited illnesses as well as further advancements in other aspects of medicine."

I half listened and half paid attention to Rebecca. I knew in my past working with other Senators and Congressmen that they all had one particular thing that they donated too or supported all in the name of re-election bids. I was bored out of my mind and my hangover was worsening as the day went further without drinking anything and eating to steady me as I went through my small detox.

Rebecca droned on about responding to simple thank you emails from those who had received treatment from the facility. I was starting to realize more of my job would be administrative than protection, and boring as fuck.

I had spaced out so much I didn't hear or notice the Senator come into the small office until her voice wrapped around my name, hit my ears.

"How is it going Bo? Bored yet?" The smile on the Senators face told me it was a joke and not an observation of my blatant boredom.

I shook my head, shifting in the leather chair as the Senator stood in front of me. She was wearing a dark blue button down and a matching fitted blazer over it. Her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail and I spotted traces of minimal makeup. The Senator was still in jeans, but nicer jeans that made her look casually professional.

"Not bored, well informed." I folded my hands in my lap to hide that they were shaking more than when I had gotten to the house almost two hours ago.

Rebecca stood up from her seat, "Did you need anything? I was just getting Bo set up on emails and email protocol."

I smirked to myself as Rebecca threw on an ultra-professional tone, it did appear my comment about her and the Senator sharing a bed had hit very close to home.

Lauren folded her arms, "I just need to run out and meet with one of my campaign volunteers at Pepperdine University. One extraordinary volunteer I am looking at to be the west coast campaign manager." Lauren looked dead at me, "I thought that I would have Bo come with me, a dry run of what it will be like when I am the Senator."

I heard the slight intake of a sharp, frustrated breath behind me. "I think that is a good idea. When she comes back I will show her the itinerary program."

I stood up, eager to get out of the fluorescent lights of the basement office. Lauren smiled at me, "Perfect. We should only be gone no more than two hours Rebecca. I will have her back for you to continue your work."

Lauren turned to exit the office, "I will meet you by the car, Bo."

I went to follow her, grabbing my bag when I heard Rebecca say something that made me turn around. She nodded the bag and shook her head no. Then pointed at the black gun case.

I dropped my bag and grabbed the case, opening it up and loading the magazine and the gun in a matter of seconds. I winked at Rebecca as I slid the P99 into the holster and tucked it into my waistband. Marveling as I walked back up the stairs at how the holster seemed to really disappear under my clothes.

The second step outside I took a deep breath to steady myself. The bright afternoon sun was harsh on my headache and my eyes. I put on my sunglasses and walked over to the Senator leaning against the Lincoln. I hit the unlock button, "Do you need me to open the door for you Senator Lewis?"

She said nothing as she climbed into the passenger side.

That alone made me pause. Every time I drove a politician or a celebrity anywhere, they took the backseat. Determined to hide and make me feel like an over trained chauffeur. But I was starting to realize that there was a lot about the Senator that was far from the normal I was used too.

Climbing into the driver's seat I kept my sunglasses on even though the deep window tint cut the sunlight down to a minimum, "Are you sure you want to ride shotgun?"

Lauren nodded, setting her phone in her lap, "The view is better from the front and I don't treat anyone who works for me as employees. You are driving me around but you are not my chauffeur, Bo."

I raised my eyebrow at her words, curious to inquire more. Instead I pushed the ignition and started the car, quickly turning the radio off. Looking to Lauren, "Where to Senator?"

Lauren turned to look at me in a way that it seemed to penetrate my sunglasses, "Use the GPS and plug in this address. 715 West Ocean Avenue."

I fumbled with the touch screen, grumbling that I had taken all the time to figure out the sound system and not the navigation system. Finally after getting to the input screen, I tapped in the address.

The gentle semi-robotic voice repeated the address and the destination name. I couldn't help but smirk at the Senator, "Paco's Taco Joint? I thought we were headed down to Pepperdine University to meet your new campaign manager."

Lauren smiled; it was the first genuine smile I had seen from the woman since I met her. It added a little more oompf to her overall attractiveness, "We are. But its lunchtime, I'm hungry and Paco's is my guilty pleasure whenever I am in Malibu." I watched as her eyes fell to my shaking hand that hovered over the gear shift, "And you need to eat Bo. Your shaking is getting worse. "

I gripped onto the gear shift, throwing the car into reverse I focused on driving and away from the far too observant stares of the blonde next to me. This woman was an enigma that had the incredible ability to dismantle my self built enigma. I tapped on the steering wheel as I pulled into the small winding lane that took us away from the house. The Senator was a genius, it wouldn't be hard for her to figure me out. But I wondered how street smart she was and how much I would have to pick up the slack if she wasn't. I let out a breath, I had dealt with far too many celebrities that had the street smarts of a garbage can, I really didn't want to deal with a Senator who had the potential for the same mistakes. I shook my head, silently cursing Davey for the millionth time and let my mind focus on how happy my stomach would be when I dropped greasy taco's into it.

Lunch would definitely be a welcomed break to this day.


	4. Chapter 4

The observation I made about Bo's shaking hands had caused her to squirrel back into her hole of trying to hide things from me. Making a comment about it wasn't meant to be mean or a dig, I was actually genuinely concerned about her. I had watched her and Rebecca in the office for at least ten minutes before interrupting them. Watching how Bo took to the information she was being fed. I was also watching Rebecca. Watching her stiffly treat Bo gave me the impression that Bo had said or done something that hit to close to home for Rebecca. She had never thrown up her old NSA agent exterior in more than five years, but I could see it had returned fully. Rebecca wanted to keep Bo at an arm's length and that was a shift from earlier in the kitchen when she wanted to keep her close, close enough she could wrap her fingers around Bo's neck and throttle her replacement.

But Bo. Bo seemed to relax even though she was shaking like she was freezing. The hangover withdrawal was getting to her. I had full intentions of taking both Rebecca and Bo to Pepperdine University to test Bo with Rebecca present, but decided against it. I honestly did want tacos and had plans for a dinner delivery from Paco's. Then I changed my mind and wanted to get food into the woman before she collapsed. I saw the solo ride to lunch and the university as an opportunity to dig a little deeper into the brunette who was clutching the steering wheel with both hands. So much so her knuckles were white. I could tell Bo knew I was silently analyzing her. She would tap the ring finger of her right hand whenever she was nervous or anxious that someone was too close.

The silence in the car was adding to the building tension. I reached for the radio and pressed the on button. The gentle, rich sounds of Brahms symphony in C minor filled the front seat. I smiled lightly at the music, glancing over at Bo's right ring finger as it began to tap on the leather steering wheel a little quicker and not in time with the music.

"Brahms, why not Beethoven?" I slid the volume down a few notches so a conversation could be had around the music.

Bo leaned her head to the side, rolling her neck, "It was on the radio when I got into the car this morning, I haven't figured out the sound system yet." She turned her head slightly to look at me, "This car is very different from my ten-year old sedan with hand crank windows and basic am/fm radio." Her bite was back, softer than it had been in the morning, but it was back.

I nodded and folded my hands in my lap, settling on the view that passed around the car. It was clear Bo didn't want to discuss her taste in music and I let it be. It was inconsequential to me on a whole; I just wanted to start a conversation with the woman as we drove to lunch. I tried another route, "Did you have any questions so far about the job or your training?"

Bo shifted in the seat, dropping one hand from the steering wheel as traffic slowed us down, "I have a couple."

I smiled, "Please, feel free to ask them."

Bo took a deep breath, "Your file stated that you have a genius IQ, how high is it?"

I set my phone into the cup holder between us, "At the age of six, right before I met Davey, my parents had me tested. They were concerned I was autistic or an idiot savant because I was so quiet but was able to absorb and repeat books beyond my reading level. I could take things apart and put them back together, physically and inside my mind. And by my mind I mean I had a firm understanding of the chemical process of how steel breaks down under extreme heat. All learned by going to work with my father at the steel mill we own." I smiled at the memories of going to the steel mill and watching the chemical engineers try to create a stronger metal through metallurgy techniques and mixing chemical compounds, all things I could absorb and manipulate in my mind then write it down. "I actually frightened one of the chemical engineers when I presented him with a new formula written in crayon giving them a new forging process that would make the steel ten times stronger."

I turned to Bo, she had taken her sunglasses off and when she looked at me, there was something there I couldn't place in her brown eyes. I had been used to the looks of amazement or slight terror when I spoke of my childhood and that I was pretty much a rarity of nature in how my brain advanced at a young age. The look on her face was of genuine interest and a look of if things were slowly making sense about my behavior. I had to turn away, "To answer your question about my IQ. When I had it last tested, right before my senate run, it was at a rough 160. That is only because I became bored with the test questions."

Bo smirked, "Super genius. Means you are heavy-handed in book smarts but a little shy in the street smarts department." Her voice was edged with sarcasm and judgment. As if my super genius meant that I was a bumbling fool when it came to critical life skills and the application of them. The smirk suddenly irritated me and her comment flat-out pissed me off.

"Are you suggesting that I am a bumbling fool outside of the world of books and the education I sought out?"

Bo shrugged, sliding her sunglasses back on, "I have been in the protection business long enough to spot the little things and the body language of people. All little things that will tell me how you can or cannot handle yourself on the proverbial streets of life."

I dropped my head down, my pissed off was turning into anger, "Observational skills, reading body language. All skills you learned through extensive training or honed through your days with the agency. Right?"

Bo nodded, not saying a word but her smirk was still firmly held on her face. Her ring finger had stopped tapping, she was confident now. As if she had won the next move in a chess game.

Now I wanted to win the next move.

"You lied about the classical music just being on the radio and not quite figuring out the sound system."

Bo's smirk began to fade.

"You fumbled around with the navigation system as we got into the car and yet the sound system has been perfectly programmed. The bass and treble are both set to a perfect level to highlight Brahms work in a way that only a true classical music connoisseur would understand. The slight grease marks from your fingertips are all over the brand new preset button, I can also see which channels you have set on the top of the screen. The six channels you have selected are the six best classical stations on the satellite radio provided in this car." I looked dead at Bo, even though she was now completely focused on the road before her, the ring finger began to tap once again, "The entire five minutes the music has been in the car, your left leg has kept time with the music involuntarily. Telling me that you know this piece and you know it well." I paused, "Is that enough observational skills for you or should I continue on about how it took just about an hour to get ready this morning only because you felt your makeup was perhaps too much for the first day. The two layers of makeup at the edge or your jaw tell me that you applied and removed two different foundation tones before settling on this light beige tone you are now wearing." I threw on my own smirk, "I can keep going if you would like. I have made plenty of observations about you over the last few days."

I finished. I had spoken quickly, more quickly than Bo had expected out of me as I watched the blush creep slowly up her neck and settle around her rounded cheeks. I had embarrassed her. Proving her wrong about if my head only knew books and not the small details of life that would equate to my survival in this world. I let out a breath, letting my spontaneous anger go with the slow air I pushed past my lips. I hadn't let anyone get under my skin since the day I threw on the invisible armor I knew I needed in my life as a politician. Bo's flippant ways of deflection dug deep into that armor, frustrating me.

I needed her to trust me as much as I needed to trust her. I wanted her to trust me.

A moment passed, "I apologize Bo, for that outburst."

She said nothing. Stared straight ahead to the road and focused on getting us to the taco joint. Essentially shutting me out for the rest of the ride to Paco's.

* * *

Paco greeted me with a large hug, picking me up and laughing when I pleaded with him to set me down in Spanish. He set me down, wide happy smile on his face, "It is been far too long, fierce one." He held on to my arms, squeezing like a proud father would when a child came home from being gone far too long.

The old man was almost like a father too me, I would spend most of my free days at his taco joint whenever I was in Malibu.

I smiled, covering his hand with mine, "My work has kept me occupied."

Paco tsk tsk'd me. His dark grey eyes drifting to look over my shoulder, he whispered, "Rebecca?"

I glanced over my shoulder at Bo, who was in a ready stance. Her hand on the concealed holster I had given her. She was staring hard at Paco, assessing his threat level. I knew the second Paco scooped me up and attacked me with the hug, Bo would snap into old habits. I was happy to see it; it gave me another sliver of hope.

I smiled and turned back to Paco, "She is back at the house. That is Ysabeau, my new assistant."

Paco's eyes lit up with his smile, he moved past me and held out his hand to Bo, "Ah I have not met another Ysabeau in almost thirty years." He bent and placed a gentlemanly kiss on the top of Bo's hand, "Such a beautiful name for an equally beautiful woman." He patted the top of her hand with his calloused hands, "God's promise. You fit it well." He dropped her hand and waved at the both of us, "Come I will make you my best enchiladas! Sit and relax!"

Paco hustled back into the tiny building, calling after us to sit outside since it was such a beautiful day.

I motioned to one of the blue picnic tables that sat off to the side, giving a perfect view of the rolling hills and the houses below it. Paco's was no bigger than a typical modern coffee-house in the city, seating twenty inside and another thirty on the random picnic tables he had along the rest of the property. He had the best tacos in the state and could easily have made a fortune in a large restaurant, but preferred the small ways of life and quality that came with it.

Bo sat across from me, kitty corner so she could keep an eye on the car and possibly my back as well. She pulled her sunglasses off and set them on the wooden table, "God's promise?" Bo glanced at the back door where Paco could be seen cooking through a screen door. Her eyebrows raised in a way that told me she thought Paco might be a little senile or crazy.

I nodded, pulling napkins from the holder, "One of Paco's many hobbies is researching the meaning behind names. Yours means God's promise, mine means fierce one. I asked him once why he was so fascinated with learning the meaning behind names. His answer was that all names are suited for who we are if we strive for the potential we all have. His favorite people are the ones who truly reflect the ancient meanings behind the names our parents choose." I smiled, leaning my elbows on the edge of the picnic table, "Strange logic but I can see why he chooses to believe in it."

Bo shrugged and dug into the basket of tortilla chips one of the waitresses had set before us.

That shrug basically informed me that any lunch conversation would be minimal or non-existent. I sighed, looking out on to the hills and the dots of rooftops set in a random geometric pattern. Bo and I were playing a chess game, I was certain of it now. But what for? That was what I couldn't wrap my head around. How long would it take until one of us called checkmate and gave in. I shook my head and began picking at the loose blue paint chips on the table.

Fifteen minutes of painful silence was broken when Paco came back. His arms full of fresh enchiladas and ice-cold tea. He set them down in front of Bo and I, "Only the best for my fierce one." He stood back, hands on his hips smiling as I took the first bite nodding my approval. He then looked over at Bo who couldn't hold back the smile that flooded her face at the first bite.

Paco grinned, "Ah I knew I could bring a smile from you." He winked at me, "How long will you be in town, Lauren? Emilia would love to see you, her lungs are getting better everyday. All because of you." Paco squeezed my shoulder, "We can never repay you for your kindness."

I shook my head, my hand squeezing the one on his shoulder, "You never have too, Paco. These enchiladas will always be enough payment."

Paco nodded, squeezing one more time, "Then a lifetime of enchiladas it is." He winked at me one more time, "Enjoy and call out if you want more."

I smiled as he ran back into the kitchen to start on the lunch rush orders. I took a few bites of the enchilada before looking up at Bo, she was thinking again. Trying to place Paco and his debt to me without asking. I wiped my mouth with a napkin, "His wife had stage two lung cancer. Never smoked a day in her life or was ever around cigarette smoke, just a flaw in genetics and a raw deal." I sipped from the glass of tea, "I facilitated her getting treatment at The Criterion Centre. Ensuring her or Paco never had to pay a dime. She is now cancer free and her lungs are as healthy as they were when she was twenty and an aspiring opera singer."

I turned to look at the screen door, hearing Paco singing one of his favorite songs as he rolled out tortillas. "Not everything I do is for money or power or even politics. It's about giving good people a second chance at life." I turned to look dead in the deep chocolate eyes that had shifted from irritation to a soft emotion of respect. Bo broke away from my stare, knowing my words were also meant for her.

She pushed her food around on the plate, I turned back to finish the last three bites I had and enjoy the view. Silence began to grow between us again.

"When I was eight my mother took me with her to one of her teacher conferences at the University of Pittsburgh. She let me roam the halls of the giant music hall where her conference was being held. I was bored as all little kids are when there is nothing to do but wait. So I explored and kept hearing this sound that I had never really heard before. It was a violin, well actually a handful of violins. The New York Symphony Orchestra was rehearsing for their show later that night in the main concert hall." Bo smiled setting her fork down, "I was drawn to the sounds of all the violins. I had never heard anything like that before. The only music I knew was the oldies my parents played all the time. This, this was different. It drew me in and before I knew it, I had snuck into the back of the hall and watched all the musicians play. It felt like I was watching a painting being painted, but the paint was sound."

She looked up at me, smiling sheepishly, "I became obsessed from that point on. Classical music became a passion, it understood me. It understood my emotions when I bottled them up. I could listen to Mozart when I was sad, Brahms when I needed to calm down, Wagner when I needed to find motivation and Beethoven when I just needed something to hold on to when things became hard."

Bo pushed the half eaten enchilada away from her, "My parents never understood it, why their cheerleader daughter and prom queen candidate preferred classical over the boy bands. I was even made fun of by my friends, so I hid my secret love for boring music. I begged my mother to take me to the symphony in D.C. for years." Bo looked in my eyes, "When I hired in with the Secret Service I thought I would finally have enough money to go alone or even go with a politician when they were invited to a charity event. Stand in the wings of a balcony and watch." Bo dropped her head slightly, sheepish smile still on her face.

I had been staring and listening to her tell me about something that was so personal to her. Revealing something to me meant she was building some trust. I set my napkin on the plate, "And did you?"

Bo shook her head, standing up with her plate to take it to Paco, "No, I was always assigned to details that took me away from anything cultured." She took a slow breath, "I did buy tickets once, before I left for….my final assignment." Bo looked up into the clear blue sky, "But I fucked that up. Just like everything else for the last two years."

Before I could say anything, Bo glanced at her watch, "It's time to get going Senator Lewis. We don't want to be late for your meeting."

I watched Bo walk away after taking my plate to the grinning Paco. He took her hand and patted it; I knew he was making her promise to come back with me as soon as possible. When she turned around, the soft open look on her face as she told me the truth about her love of classical music was replaced by the steely non-emotional one of my personal assistant and bodyguard.

* * *

XXXXXX

My symphony secret was one I kept close to my heart for years, only one other person outside of my family knew about it. I wasn't sure what it was about the Senator that made me want to tell her that. Maybe it was the sucker punch she threw me in the car when I tried to brush it off. I wasn't trying to dig at her when I made the comment about book smarts vs. street smarts, I had made a poor judgment about the Senator. Everything she had done in the short time I knew her, was so carefully planned and organized that it begged me to believe she was untested in life, just like all rich folk I had worked for in my life. She surprised me in the car and at a lunch when she actually listened to me and not shrugged it off, like so many others had before.

I stood next to the car waiting for Lauren, watching her say her goodbyes to the older man who hugged her like she was his own daughter. It was expected after the little hero moment that passed between them. Maybe that was why I told her about the symphony. For a split second as I listened to Paco express his undying servitude to the blonde for saving his wife and I looked into her eyes, I saw something that actually warmed my dead heart. Then when she hit me with giving good people a second chance.

It was her eyes. They always told me so much more than her very practiced exterior. They would smile when she was attempting a joke, then turn to serious and analytic when she was watching me and reading me. Then now as she turned from the older man, they seemed to sparkle. The afternoon sun doing their part to make them even more of an amber color. Lauren smiled slightly when hers met mine, sending a strange feeling through my body. A foreign feeling that made me confused at what it was and grateful when the Senator slipped her aviators on and ended the connection.

I cleared my throat, "We should be at the university in a half hour, Senator Lewis."

She was still smiling as she opened the passenger door, "Perfect." Before she climbed into the Lincoln, "Paco wanted me to tell you that we both have to come back before the vacation is over to have dinner with him and Emiliana." Her smile turned into a smirk, "Seems he is a little taken with you."

I furrowed my brow, dropping down into the driver's seat. "I barely said three words to him outside og please and thank you."

"Paco told me that you remind him of fire." Lauren picked up her cell phone to check her emails, "That you burn bright with passion and have a fight that will swarm around those you care for when stoked."

I pushed the ignition, shaking my head slightly, "Okay, and what about my five words gave him that impression?" I kept my tone even, I hated being read.

Lauren set the phone in her lap, reaching to turn the radio up she glanced at me, "Your eyes. That's all he told me. I guess you will have to ask him the next time we come."

I laughed lightly, sliding my own sunglasses on now that the sun was piercing the front windshield, "I think that's okay, I'd rather not." I pulled out on to the road, "I hate being read or told what others think they see in me." The last part I did my best to not have an edged tone, "They are usually wrong."

I felt her eyes on the side of my face, I resisted turning to look at her. Even as the pull was strong, I didn't want to engage or start another back and forth in the car with her. I focused on curling around the corners of the winding road that would carry us out on to the highway.

"I haven't been wrong about you Bo. I don't think I will either." her words were soft and sincere. She wasn't digging, prodding or trying to illicit a response. "Paco also told me that he is happy I have hired you, that we compliment each other. Fire and Water." I felt her gaze move away from me and when I stole a quick look, Lauren was looking out the passenger window. The silence that shortly filled the car ended the conversation. Lauren returned to sorting through her phone and I kept my eyes on the road. My mind slowly dissecting why fire and water and not oil and water like I felt her and I had been from day one.

* * *

The University was bustling with students running to last-minute classes and packing up cars to head home for the winter break. I had gotten out of the car first, walking to her side to open the door when it was pushed open. I was face to face to Lauren as she stood up, "Bo, you don't need to open my doors. Remember what I said. You are my employee, not my servant." She smiled and shut the door.

"It's habit." I smoothed out my suit jacket and began scanning the crowd, "It's a little busier than I thought."

She nodded, "I know. This meeting was last minute. I wanted to catch Annabeth before she left for the break."

I could feel my slight anxiety build like it always would when I was protecting. It was building faster this time because I was actually sober and had been for a few days. Old fears of what could go wrong starting to creep its way in. I took a deep breath, looking at every set of eyes that were directed at the Senator. Scanning for threats.

"Annabeth is waiting for us over at the administration office." Lauren began taking steps towards the massive building in front of us, "She is a senior, studying political science and has been a great volunteer for my campaign and a huge supporter for my charity work. I am thinking of bringing her on board after graduation to help with the re-election campaign."

I half listened, still scanning every person that would look our way. Girls would glance and whisper, curious who the rich lady was. Boys would stare and smirk, curious who the hot rich lady was.

I kept by her side and would tap the holster on my waist to make sure the gun was still there. Nothing so far had tipped me off that any one in this river of people flowing around us was a threat.

Walking into the administration office I felt my anxiety rise at the sight of a small group of people who began clapping at the first sight of Lauren. I moved to stand slightly behind her as my instinctive training dictated.

I also watched Lauren slip from the quiet woman who had been wearing t-shirts and letting the wind be her hairdresser, to the strong Senator I had walked past a few times in the city. She stood straighter and tucked away her aviators, smiling brightly as she engaged the crowd of supporters with firm handshakes.

I stayed a step back admiring the professional shift she had accomplished as well as the fact that for the first time in my life I was working with a politician that actually had an on and off switch. All of my other details had always being egotistical assholes from day one and it never shut off. Even when they were screaming at me in their flannel pajamas about how they paid my salary.

Lauren was talking and moving through the small group of supporters with ease. I scanned over them all and did not pick up anything I should keep a closer eye on. The group eased up and shifted to allow Lauren to talk to a young redhead that was obviously Annabeth. I could tell in the way the girl had hero admiration for the Senator and basked in the glow Lauren provided. I had seen it a million times when young people wanted to get into politics and had chosen a politician to support and pattern themselves after.

I kept scanning and turned to look outside the small office when something caught my eye. A younger male had stopped in the hallway outside of the glass encased office and was staring inside. Staring in a way that was more than just a curious wondering if there was a party or a celebrity signing up for spring classes.

He was staring in a way that unnerved me. I saw the large black backpack on his shoulder and the way he gripped it, told me that he was hiding something. The young man seemed to have a laser focus on Lauren, his eyes moved with her and I began to feel even more uncomfortable. I went to go step outside of the office and make contact when I heard Lauren call for me, "Bo, I would like you to meet Annabeth."

I turned to her voice, she was smiling and standing next to the redhead. I smiled tightly and nodded, turning back to the young man I saw that he had moved closer to the glass. I swallowed hard as my instincts began to tell me that this was not good.

I felt her hand on my arm, whispering, "Bo, what is it."

I took a deep breath and turned to face Lauren and Annabeth, putting on my best fake smile, "Nice to meet you Annabeth. Is there a room or an office we can head into? It's a little loud out here."

Annabeth grinned, "Oh yea, of course. We can head into the copy room, it's a little quieter." she held out her arm, directing Lauren and I to the room that was across from us.

Lauren looked in my eyes, searching for anything. I smiled and out of instinct and habit I placed my hand on the small of her back and pressed gently. I went to say something but instead I watched her catch her breath the second my hand met her back and a slight blush creep up the bottom of her neck. It caught me off guard for a split second until I pressed again, pushing her, "Senator we should move into that room."

Lauren nodded, moving into the room. I took one last look at the young man who I was now certain was here for her by the way he stared at her.

Inside the copy room Annabeth began to chatter away excitedly. Lauren would not stop looking at me, her eyes silently begging for me to clue her in. I smiled and turned to Annabeth, "Excuse me Annabeth, but could you grab Senator Lewis and I a bottle of water? We had a bit of a dusty ride in."

Annabeth issued a chirpy sure and bounced out of the room. The second the door clicked shut I turned to Lauren.

"When she comes back in. Have her call campus security. Tell them to meet me back out in the front parking lot as soon as possible."

Lauren's jaw clenched, "What is it."

I folded my arms, "I am about to find out. There is a young man out there that is a little more interested in you than the usual hot rich lady stares you have got the moment you stepped out of the car."

Lauren's blush crept up further as she sat down in a chair by the giant copier. "Do we need to leave."

The tone in her voice told me that she had been in this position more than once.

I rolled my shoulders, "I don't think so. But I want to push this guy out of the way before we do leave. I don't like him." I stepped to stand in front of her, "If anything happens, stay in this room. The doors are at least four inches thick with a metal core covered by a wood veneer, the deadbolts are bank rated and oddly enough they did a good job turning an active shooter shelter into a nondescript copy machine room." I continued scanning the room, noting the other security features the university had hidden, "You will be safe in here."

I looked down at Lauren. Her hands were on her lap, fidgeting in nervousness. The nervousness was mixed with fear in her eyes when she looked at me, "Bo, we can call security and wait for them."

I shrugged, "We could, but I would rather get this guy away from you and the rest of your supporters." For some reason, I bent down so I could be eye to eye to her. Something about the fear I saw in her eyes bothered me in a way that I felt compelled to comfort her.

"This is what you hired me to do." I smiled and squeezed her knee. I stood up quickly when I heard Annabeth turn the door handle.

Annabeth, cheery as ever, handed Lauren and I the bottles of water. I set mine down on the small work table behind me. "Excuse me again, Annabeth. But I need to take make a phone call." I glanced at Lauren, "The Senator here has something she would like to discuss with you."

"Bo, please be careful." Her voice was soft and genuine.

I nodded again at Lauren and walked out of the copy room. Pulling the door shut as I heard Lauren began to tell the redhead to quietly call campus security.

The young man had made his way into the office. I could hear him asking where Senator Lewis had gone. A few of her supporters ignored him or tried to get him to sign up to be a volunteer.

I stared at him and noticed that the black backpack he had clutched around his shoulder was now on the ground and tucked under a chair.

I took a deep breath, swallowing the fear and anxiety that was charging so hard through my body. Trying to overcome my instinct and what I knew I had to do next. I blew out a breath, taking the few steps to the young man.

"Hi there, are you looking for Senator Lewis?"

The young man spun and locked his determined brown eyes on to mine, I saw the smile of accomplishment creep up. "Yea, I am. You know where she is?"

I nodded, "Of course I do. If you come with me I will take you right to her." I held out my hand directing him to the door exiting the administration office, "We snuck her back outside, the crowd was getting too much for her."

The young man grinned and went to the door, I called after him, "Don't forget your backpack."

He paused and shot me a look, I began to see the sweat bead around his forehead. "Uh...i'll come back for it."

I smiled, and grabbed it. Walking towards him I shoved it into his chest, "I would hate for someone to think it was lost and drop it off at the campus lost and found."

The young man nodded nervously, "Yea you're right."

I held the door for him, "She is right out in the parking lot. Go ahead."

He clicked back into his mission and smiled, taking the lead. I kept close to him and my hand close to my gun.

The moment we pushed the double doors open and stepped out into the bright afternoon sun, there was a handful of campus security waiting at the bottom of the steps. Staring hard at us, hands on guns and ready for us to make the first move.

The young man froze in his steps, taking a moment before he turned angrily my way. "You fucking lied!"

Before I could act he charged me. Dropping the black backpack in the bushes next to us before slamming me up against the double doors. I let out a grunt as he pushed most of the air out of me. He was inches away from my face, "Where is she?! Senator Lewis needs to die for playing god like she does! Senator Lewis is not god, I am god and she must pay for her sins in using science instead of believing in the lord."

I used the double doors as a push off point. Leaning back before I headbutted the young man in the forehead. Rewarded with a loud crack and him dropping me down to clutch at his head. He began reaching for something in his pocket that looked like a remote. I scrambled to my feet and charged him. Our bodies connecting in a grunt as I used him a sled to ride down the stairs.

When we came to a stop at the wide break in the staircase, he managed to throw a right hook that caught me under the eye. Knocking me to the side but not off of him, I was still straddling him and using all of my weight to keep him to the ground. I acted quick and pulled my gun, jabbing it against his chest right above his heart. I heard the yells and the jingling of keys and handcuffs as campus security rushed at us.

The young man and I were both breathless, our eyes locked in a stare of who would make the first move. I pushed the gun harder against his chest and whispered, "Move an inch, give me a reason."

He didn't move or open his mouth. Our stare was roughly broken by security swarming him and I. Yanking me from him as he was rolled on to his stomach and handcuffed. I was pushed back and escorted back inside the building.

The administration office had been cleared out and the surrounding area. Only campus security and local police filled the office. I was handed a wad of paper towel by one of the officers, "You're bleeding, we have an ambulance on the way."

I pressed under my eye and felt the blood seep through the towel, also feeling the large split I knew the right hook had left. I cringed and looked at the officer, "The Senator?"

He smiled, "She is safe, still in the copy room."

The officer took me to the copy room and when he opened the door, Lauren spun around and looked dead at me. Annabeth was standing next to her, pale faced and doing her best to hold in her panic.

I smiled, "He is in custody. We had a little disagreement about you, Senator Lewis."

Lauren was obviously fighting her reaction. Whether it was to run to me, yell at me or cry, she was fighting it, "Are you okay?"

I shrugged, "They have an ambulance on the way. He took most of the brunt of the fall." I closed my eyes, my adrenaline was beginning to dump out. My body was beginning to tremble and my hold on my anxiety and bad memories was beginning to fade.

Lauren walked over to me, taking notice that I was beginning to wobble. "Sit down, Bo." Her voice was also doing it's best to cover up her own adrenaline falling away. "Annabeth, can you go get us more water?"

Annabeth hustled out of the room and before the door shut, a police officer pushed through it, "Excuse me Senator Lewis, but the FBI is on their way as well as the Secret Service. It seems the perp had a remote IED in his backpack. He was determined to take out this entire office and you. He has issued terrorist claims against you."

The second I heard IED, the sound in the room fell away. The memories of Montreal came back like a tsunami. Crashing against the front of my mind. I stood up quickly, "I need a bathroom."

Lauren reached for my arm, I pulled away from her touch and looked at the police officer, "Can you take me to a bathroom now, I want to look at the damage." I waved at my face, swallowing furiously to hold back the need to vomit.

The officer nodded and held the door, I heard Lauren call out after me but she was quickly cut off by a detective who pushed into the room. Racing to tell her that his officers would keep her safe until they sorted everything out.

I was grateful the bathroom was kitty corner from the office and empty. I barely pushed the stall door out of my way before I threw up endlessly into the toilet. So much so I had dropped to my knees and clutched at the toilet seat. I began crying in between retching, Montreal blazing hard in my mind as well as the quick flashes of what I had just done. My hands shook uncontrollably as I covered my face and let the sobs choke out of my body.

* * *

After a few moments I was able to get a hold of myself. I washed my face and had to close my eyes when I saw the blood swirling with the water before it spun down the drain. My new suit was stained with my blood and ripped in spots from the scuffle. It would have to be thrown out when I got home. I took a deep breath and walked back out to the wall of law enforcement surrounding the office. I curled my hands into balls to hide the fact they were still far from under my control and walked back into the copy room.

There I met with paramedics and Lauren. And Rebecca.

Rebecca was hovering around Lauren. Visibly concerned and whispering with Lauren. When the door clicked behind me, the paramedics came over to me to start assessing my injuries. Lauren looked up at me, her eyes filled with so much emotion that she was doing a good job of hiding in her strong mask she had put on the moment the detective walked in. But her eyes, her eyes would always tell a different story and I was learning that every moment I spent with her.

Rebecca looked in my direction and I was welcomed with a less than pleasant stare from the small brunette.

A female paramedic began asking me questions while she pressed on my eye socket, I flinched and groaned. A few minutes later I had gauze on my face and specific instructions to go to the hospital as soon as possible to get stitches. The paramedics left and the second they did, Rebecca filled the room with the expected lecture I could see coming the moment I spotted her.

"I will be taking Lauren home. The FBI and Secret Service can brief her there. They do want to speak with you, Bo. About the incident and what occurred." Every word had a knife attached to every syllable, "One question I want an answer too, why did you leave her side."

I leaned back in the chair I was pushed into by the female paramedic, slipping my hands under my thighs to continue hiding that I had lost it in the bathroom. "His backpack and the way he clutched it with a purpose. I knew it was a bomb or something. I figured if I took him outside with it, the blast radius would be less damaging." I rolled my head against the wall I had leaned against, looking at Lauren and Rebecca, "If anything, he would have only taken out the two of us." I waved my hand around the room, "If you look around the room, Rebecca, you will see that this room was a bomb shelter and recently converted into a safe room up to the specs of what the Department of Homeland Security suggests." I let out a sigh and found myself staring at Lauren, "It was safer to keep her here than stay by her side."

I closed my eyes and rolled my head back, I was tired.

I heard the small brunette huff, another one of her tells. Letting me know I had proven her wrong once again. I smiled to myself, enjoying the small win.

"I will be taking Lauren home now. You can take the rest of the day off and return in the morning after you speak with the authorities and get your injury taken care of." Rebecca's voice was irritating me. I nodded and said nothing, keeping my eyes close. I was still trying to fight memories and the need to throw up again.

I heard a few whispers that I didn't bother to focus on, I was focusing on other things. The side door was opened, footsteps shuffling across the carpet tile signaling that they were finally leaving. I let out a breath when I heard the side door click closed.

"Bo, will you please call me when you leave the hospital." Lauren's voice was softer than I had ever heard it in the short time I knew the woman. My eyes flicked open, meeting her golden brown ones.

I shrugged and leaned forward in the chair, my hand escaping its hiding place under my thigh to settle on the arm rest, "It's just a scratch." I had met worse in my drunken stumblings.

Lauren's hand suddenly covered mine on the arm rest, the warmth of her hand spreading through my body and sending calm through my entire body. "Bo. I don't want to have to order you to do so." She looked down at the floor, "Forgive Rebecca, she is still listed on the contact sheet for when..." she drifted off.

"You don't need to explain, I am getting used to her tearing me a new one every time I fail to meet her standards." I wanted to pull my hand away from hers, but at the same time I didn't. "You should go Senator, she is waiting and it would be better if you went home and got some rest." I glanced at out hands and gently slid my out from under hers, "It's been a busy day." I immediately missed the warmth of her as the cold air hit my hand, making it shake again.

Lauren hesitated before finally turning and walking to the side door. When she pulled it open I called after her, "I will see you in the morning Lauren."

She responded by smiling tightly at me, "Yes you will, Bo." she paused, "And thank you." She turned and walked out the door, met by Rebecca whispering god knows what.

But in those three words, it was just more than a simple thank you. It was her way of reaffirming that she had made the right choice in choosing me to be her bodyguard and assistant. What made my heart sink was that I was about to do something stupid in the next few hours, because it was the only way I knew how to chase away my demons.

* * *

Five hours later, after giving statements to the FBI agent who showed up shortly after Lauren left and after getting the six stitches to close up my cheek, I went home. Walked right into the kitchen, setting down the brown paper bag Tito handed to me after dusting off the bottle of Dewar's.

I wasted no time in spinning the cap off the bottle, pouring myself a large glass of scotch I flopped down on to my couch. Drowning my vivid memories that had chased me the moment I heard what was in that black backpack. My body eagerly welcomed the scotch and I slowly abandoned the glass, taking drinks straight from the bottle as the sounds of Mozart's Requiem in D minor took me further away. I passed out halfway through the bottle into a numbing sleep highlighted by dreams of penguins swimming in time of the music that permeated into my dream.


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't want to leave Bo. I wanted to make sure she went to the hospital and was examined. I wanted her to be taken care of. She had kept her brave exterior in front of Rebecca and I. Going so far as to sit on her hands to hide the shakes that were flooding her body. I was worried and afraid of what she was going to do next the second I left her in the copy room. The incident had rattled Bo more than she expected.

It also rattled me.

It had been five years since the last close call and five years since I began funneling my own money into private protection which resulted in my life being almost impenetrable. I had slipped into a small bubble of ignorance, ignorance that nothing would happen to me again. But I knew as the further my work went with the Criterion Centre and the more public it went, the more I would be met with black backpacks and strangers wanting to end my existence.

I was lost in my own struggle of keeping my emotions in check, not bothering to listen to Rebecca prattle on about which agents from the FBI and the Secret Service would be meeting us back at the house. I was only focusing more on Bo and how I was worried about her more than I should. How her hand only stop trembling when I covered it with mine.

"Lauren, I want to debrief Bo in the morning and have her go over the specifics of what she saw. This threat will continue and I want to make sure we are prepared for it. Better prepared for it." Rebecca was being smug and had given me strange looks from the moment she rushed into the copy room.

I rubbed my forehead as my head rested against the deep window tint of Rebecca's car, "She was prepared." I was exhausted and every time I closed my eyes I could see the look in Bo's eyes when she came back into the copy room, bloodied and battered. She looked for me first and only me.

"Bo shouldn't have left you. She should have called the campus security and let them deal with it." Rebecca's jaw clenched, "I can see why she failed in the Secret Service."

I had enough and snapped, "Rebecca stop. Just please stop." I turned to glare at the pale blue eyes that widened as my voice rose, "Did you even hear Bo when she said that if anything at least only her and the young man would have been the only victims if the IED was detonated? She was willing to sacrifice herself to keep me safe, keep me alive." My hand curled up into a tight ball when I began to have quick flashbacks of hearing Bo and the young man fight outside meshing with the yelling of the campus police.

Rebecca tore her eyes away from mine. I kept on.

"Did you also hear her explain that the room she left me in was the safest place? What do you want her to do? Stand by me and let some manic take out the supporters that were there but stay by my side, keep me safe and only me?"

Rebecca shifted in the driver's seat, I was making her uncomfortable, "Lauren, you know that I worry only because I care about you." Her tone was softer and the smugness was missing.

I took a deep breath, bringing down the tone in my voice, "Bo has proven herself." I dropped the rest of what I was going to say. Returning to my view of the traffic. I clenched my jaw when I began reviewing the incident. What Bo said and what she did. She admitted she would have sacrificed herself as plainly as if she was asking for a glass of water. Telling me that Bo really had a little value in staying alive, but would do anything to keep those she protected safe. It upset me to see that in the woman who had just saved my life without hesitation.

Rebecca began talking again, softer and slower. I knew why Rebecca was overprotective and cautious about Bo. She had been by my side for a long time and at one point I cared for her as much as she still cared for me. That was years ago and things had changed between us when I saved her life. I made a difficult choice that day and it forever altered our relationship into just a close friendship.

I barely paid attention to Rebecca and closed my eyes. Seeing Bo walk in with the blood on her face pulled more than just worry of my employee from me. I had wanted to run to her, grab her and take her to the hospital myself. Sit with her and then take her home and stay with her. I let out a sigh and pressed harder against the cool glass. There was something about Bo that made me care more than I knew I should for a new bodyguard. I hoped it was just a deep-rooted desire to save her from herself and not anything else.

* * *

Back at the house I instructed Rebecca to deal with the agents, to ultimately send them away until the morning. I was not eager to discuss the threat on my life and hear them discuss wanting to provide me with more protection details. I wanted to shower and sit on the patio in my bedroom until night fell.

After a scalding shower I dressed in a floppy sweater and linen pajama pants. Walking to the large chair on the patio, I went to my secret stash under the large bookcase I had in the side study next to my bedroom. I wrapped my fingers around the slender bottle of gin I had tucked away and only pulled it out when the time called for it.

Now was one of those times, I poured two fingers in a tumbler. Tucking the gin back into its hiding place I sat in the wooden chair. Curling my legs under me, I stared out towards the ocean and let my nerves out. I swallowed hard, wiping away the tears that slid silently. I had held back all of my emotions from the minute Bo's hand sat on the small of my back, guiding me to the copy room. I had to hold back, I couldn't show weakness in front of anyone. Now there was no one, just me and my expansive view. I could cry and let go of the thin strings of strength I had clutched too for most of the day.

I wiped my cheek with the sleeve of my sweater and went to sip at the gin. I suddenly stopped as the edge of the glass was at my lips, pulling it back I stared at it. For a minute I felt hypocritical. Chastising Bo for every drop of liquor she pushed past her lips when rough seas hit, and here I was seeking the same comfort. I leaned over the side of the chair, setting the glass on the floor. I tucked my hand back into my sleeve, curling up tighter into a ball.

Every other second thought drifted to Bo and the feelings she brought out in me. I was again hoping it was not a result from her saving my life.

I checked my phone and saw there was nothing from Bo. It was five hours later and my heart began to sink. I tapped the phone on my leg. I would give her the rest of the night. Hoping that she was caught up in interviews and statements.

The sun setting made it too cool to sit outside. I picked up the untouched glass of gin, dumping it down the bathroom sink. Checking my phone one more time as I set the glass off to the side. Still nothing from Bo. It was now ten o'clock. The sinking feeling I had from earlier was growing stronger.

I tossed my phone on to the bed and walked down to the kitchen to find something to eat. Now that the anxiety and stress of the day was gone, my stomach was begging to be filled.

I dug around the fridge to make a sandwich when Rebecca shuffled in.

"Lauren I can make you something." She was in her pajamas and looking at me softly. The earlier irritation from the car came back, I had to get Rebecca on the same page I was with Bo. If she didn't we would all continue to fail in moving my work forward and Bo would never find her way out of her past.

I waved absently at her, "It's just a sandwich, I can manage." I picked at tomatoes and the bread in front of me. I stopped, leaning on the counter I looked at Rebecca, "I need you to put aside whatever it is you think about Bo and focus on training her."

Rebecca moved closer to me, reaching for my hand when she paused. Instead folding her arms and leaning away from me, "Lauren I told you. I can't help it. There is something about her I don't feel confident about."

I hung my head down, staring at the counter. I repeated myself, "I need you to put it aside. You are not making it easier on her, you are only making it worse." I stood up straight and stared, "Please. I need you in Geneva."

Rebecca flinched at my even tone, "I understand, Lauren." she went to turn away and leave the kitchen, "I will see you in the morning."

I said nothing as she left me alone in the kitchen. Things had changed between her and I, and in the last few days, it was changing more. I knew it was partially because of Bo.

* * *

I let out a sigh, finished making the sandwich and ate it in bed. I curled up in to the soft pillows and blankets of my giant empty bed, hoping that at 0730 I would see Bo pulling into the driveway for her second day of work.

Seven thirty came and went. Rebecca did her best to hold her tongue when she came into the sitting room to tell me that Bo was not here yet and had not responded to any of the many phone calls.

"What would you like to do? I can drive to her house and retrieve her, or I can call Davey and have him check on Bo." Rebecca swiped through the tablet in her hands, "I have no resignation letter from her. But I do have the FBI statements, she was interviewed an hour after we left. Checked out of the hospital shortly after that." Rebecca glanced at me with questioning eyes.

I clutched the cup of tea in my hands. I stood up and faced her, "Is the Cadillac still in the garage?"

Rebecca nodded, immediately understanding why I was asking, "Of course." She tucked the tablet under her arm, "I can drive you or you can take my car." She was less aggressive in her tone, meaning she was now respecting my request to put things aside.

I shook my head, "I will take the Cadillac. I will need you to pick up some things while I am gone." I grabbed a pad of paper from the side table in the sitting room, scribbling a list quickly. I tore the sheet off and handed it to Rebecca. She scanned the sheet, "It will be ready when you return."

I smiled, "Thank you." I brushed past her and moved to my bedroom, pulling on boots and grabbing my leather jacket. I was back in jeans and t-shirt, my hair was back down and I had forgone makeup. I was still exhausted from the day before and cared little about my appearance. I stepped to my closet and bent down, reaching into the back I pulled out a black plastic case. I clicked open the case, picking up the custom P99 Rebecca also had made for me. I slid it into a holster and tucked it into the back of my jeans before putting on the leather jacket, concealing any trace I had a weapon completely. I had not worn it in years nor felt like I needed it until now. Now I had to be careful, more careful than I had been in the last few years. I sighed, slowly realizing this would be the path my life would continue to take as I progressed with my work.

I took a moment to steady my nerves and mind before standing back up and walking downstairs to the garage.

Rebecca met me, having moved the Cadillac out of the garage for me. She smiled and handed me the keys, "I programmed the GPS to take you directly to her house. I called a few more times and still no answer."

I grabbed the keys from her and went to sit down when Rebecca grabbed my forearm, "Be careful Lauren. There is still a high threat alert issued against you."

I nodded and smiled, "I am prepared, but I'm sure I won't need it." Rebecca nodded, dropping her hand from my arm. We were always able to communicate silently, regardless of what our feelings for each other were.

I sat down in the drivers seat, closing the door. I wasted no time and rove away from Rebecca. I glanced at her in the rear view mirror. I could still see her jaw clench in worry and frustration as I took a right turn and left her behind.

* * *

The small house was cute from the outside and seemed to be well taken care of. I parked the Cadillac behind the Lincoln in the driveway. Somewhat relieved that she had at least made it home, or at least the car made it home safely.

Walking up to the front door I tucked the car keys in my front pocket and took a deep breath before taking off my aviators. I had a feeling what would be waiting on the other side of the door when I knocked and I wanted Bo to recognize me at first sight.

Holding my hand up to the dark wooden door, I hesitated for a moment. Wondering if I really did want to see what my gut was telling me would be in the house. I shook my head, nothing ever moved forward unless I took a chance. A lifelong mantra that had lead me successfully my entire career and beyond. I lowered my hand and when it made contact with the door, the door creaked and moved under the slight pressure.

It was unlocked and open.

I swallowed hard and moved the P99 from my back to my hip and kept a hand on it. I then pushed the door open a little wider. Letting the light from the late morning fill the front of the house. For a split second I feared Bo's house had been broken into, there were clothes and random things all over the floor. Books, magazines, newspapers and random discarded take out containers with dried bits of food stuck to the edges.

I stepped over the light grey suit jacket I had last seen her in, bloodstained and torn laying on the floor as if it was thrown in anger. I crept slowly through the house, looking for any movement in the sparse light the window blinds allowed in. I could smell the alcohol in the air along with the staleness that came with never opening windows or running a dust cloth over any surface for far too long.

I reached for the light pull on the lamp that sat on a small table under the side window, when I heard a groan. I turned and instead of turning on the light, I twisted the blinds open slowly. The light revealing Bo crumpled up on the couch. She was breathing heavily and uncomfortably.

I walked over to her, spotting the half empty scotch bottle on the coffee table. I sat on the edge of the table and leaned forward, looking at the passed out brunette. Studying her for a moment, trying to find the why in this scene. Her face was flushed and sweaty from the immense amount of alcohol she had consumed. Her eyes were puffy and the gauze covering up her stitches needed to be changed. I ran a hand through my hair, sighing. I was frustrated with Bo and myself. I had hoped that my gut and my heart was wrong. That I was wrong Bo would run back to the bottle the moment whatever demons she shoved down had resurfaced. Resurfaced the moment her memories were triggered. Memories triggered by me.

I watched Bo sleep uneasily. It was clear she needed to lay down properly and sleep off the booze. I stood up and walked around the small house, looking for her bedroom. Finding it in a similar disarray as the rest of the house, I set to at least clearing off the bed. Picking up clothes and random pieces of paper to throw out or set aside. One ball of paper caught my eye as it sat against the leg of her dresser. It was the logo of the Secret Service poking out of the edge that drew my attention. I didn't have to unravel the paper to know that it was the file Rebecca had given me that I had given to Bo.

I stared at the paper ball. I wanted to unravel it and in turn unravel the mystery of why Bo was so hell-bent on self-destruction and so resistant to trusting again. I wanted to know why the woman out on the couch, the woman who gave me her life in place of mine and snippets of who she was deep down, was so afraid to let herself breathe and live again.

My fingers moved on their own and began to tug at the edges. The first sentence was revealed and before I could read past Agent Ysabeau Dennis, I heard the glass bottle out in the living room fall and hit the wooden floor with a clatter clunk. Followed by Bo groaning and coughing.

I dropped the paper ball in my hand and walked back out to the living room.

Bo was trying to stand up, but she was still far too drunk to gather her bearings properly. She grasped at the edge of the couch as she tried to latch uncoördinated fingers on the curved edge of the scotch bottle as it laid on its side. Teasing her as it rolled slightly away from each time her fingertips made contact.

I reached for the bottle first. Slowly rolling it away from Bo before I reached for her. I gently grabbed her arm, hoisting her up and back on to the couch. She looked at me, her clear dark chocolate eyes were now cloudy and stared past me. Lost was the clear intensity and the clear beauty her eyes were when sober.

I clenched my jaw at the sight, sending sadness and slight pangs of anger through my heart. I whispered, "We need to get you to bed, Bo."

Bo smiled at me, falling back slightly. I caught her and slipped her arm around my shoulder so I could lift her up, letting her drape all of her weight on to me. I was surprised at how light the brunette was when we stood up together. Giving me more to worry about and making sense why she only picked at the best enchiladas in the world. I took a breath and shifted her so I could wrap my free arm around her waist for more balance and began walking her to the bedroom.

As we navigated around the coffee table, Bo pressed herself against my side. The contact of her body heat made me want to back away, then I felt her hand cover mine as it sat on her waist. Pressing my hand hard against her body. I had to clench my jaw harder to fight away the strange sensation rushing through my body. I hoisted Bo again, breaking her hand free from mine to let it dangle at her side.

In her bedroom I rolled her on to her back after gently laying her down. Her breathing evened out and didn't sound so strangled as it did on the couch. I sat next to her on the edge, staring at her.

Even dead drunk and flushed from the side effects of drinking more than the body could handle. Bo was still beautiful. Her hair had fallen from the tight conservative bun she had it in, her makeup was smeared and yet, I could still see the woman was more than just a tough exterior topped with a taste for cheap scotch. Her dimple was hiding and I wondered if she ever smiled enough these days to let it have its moment. There was a lot I wondered about this woman as I sat next to her on her bed, worried but grateful that she was okay. I turned and looked out the broken blinds to the sunny outside her dark room kept hidden from her.

Bo was bringing up a lot of emotions that I had set to the side in the name of my life as a Senator and to protect my life with the Criterion Centre. I let out a breath, I silently hoped that this was just a lingering effect of having my life threatened and the drunk a few inches away from me saving it. The hero effect as I always called it. You begin to feel things for those who save you and vice versa. An instantaneous attachment born out of fire and fear. I rolled my shoulders and pushed my hair back, these feelings would fade soon. They would have too.

I went to stand up and grab Bo the glass of water she would be desperate for the moment she woke up. For reasons I am still unsure of, whether my hand moved on its own or if it was propelled by something I wasn't ready to admit too. I reached out, brushing some loose strands of hair off Bo's face, tucking it behind her ear. The simple touch made Bo's eyes flicker open. Her eyes were half-open but looked right in mine. She had a pained confused look on her face.

"Where am I?" the gravelly rasp was barely audible, but it made me pause.

I smiled, "Home. Go back to sleep, you're safe."

Bo nodded, in a drunk haze she rolled over on to her side, "You look like my boss, Lauren." She smiled at me wider as she snuggled in to a pillow, "But you're a lot prettier." Bo's smile transformed into a smirk. She then took two breaths and passed back out. Bo's words, although laden with scotch, made my heart skip. I shook my head, embarrassed at the reaction. Her words were a drunken backhanded compliment, nothing more.

I waited a few more minutes until I was sure Bo was sleeping soundly before removing myself from the bed and leaving the room. I closed the door behind me and stood still, looking at the mess before me.

I took a deep breath, steeled my jaw and pulled off my leather jacket. Setting it on the back of the couch I snatched the bottle of scotch on the floor and dumped it down the drain. Rinsing the last remnants down with water, I then set to cleaning up her house. One messy pile at a time. It would fill the time while I waited for the last messy pile to wake up.

* * *

XXXXXXX

I was hot, ridiculously hot. So hot I woke up and cringed when I felt the pounding headache rush to the front of my head as I tried to sit up. I knew I fell asleep in my clothes again as they stuck to my body from the excessive sweating. My body was pissed off at me, I had cleared out the scotch and managed to complete a withdrawal. Then I dumped scotch back into it and it was struggling with what it was suppose to do with it. I rolled to the side of my bed, which I was amazed I had actually made it too. My last memory was drifting off on the couch as Mozart filled my ears.

I rubbed my face with both hands, swallowing quickly to keep the impending row my stomach was having. I took a deep breath and looked to my right, snatching up the glass of water sitting on the bedside table. I sloppily chugged the water, clutching the glass as I wiped the few drips of water that had not made it in. I rolled my neck, rubbing at sore muscles. The tussle had began to settle into my body, I was sore and the more the scotch fell out, the more pain I felt. I reached up and pressed around my eye. Cringing at the pain and the fact my gauze needed changing.

I stood up and had to lurch forward to grab the small bookshelf I kept under the window. Holding it until the dizzy spell subsided. I blew out a breath, "I really need to stop drinking or stop stopping drinking." I craned my head towards the digital clock. Slamming my eyes shut when the clock's green numbers told me that it was two thirty. "Fuck. Fuck."

I was late for work. More than. I was missing from work. I pushed off the bookshelf and gathered myself. I had to find my phone, Rebecca would have left at least seventeen voice mails and thirty texts telling me how late I was and how her standards were not met, once again. Maybe there would even be a thank you, but your services are no longer needed email from her. I groaned and ripped off my sticky, sweaty white shirt. Tossing it into the corner with the other pile of clothes.

But there wasn't a pile of clothes tucked next to the dresser like there had been for the last month as I debated doing laundry or just buying new clothes. I stared at the clean spot, trying to scrub my brain and pull out any memory if I had actually done laundry in the last few days.

I began to slowly look around the room, noticing that a few other piles of clothes and magazines were missing. Even the stain from where I thrown my glass against the wall was missing. Someone had been in my house.

My heart began to pound with my instincts. I grabbed a baggy Tito's Liquor Stop t-shirt and threw it on. I then dug in the bottom of my underwear drawer, wrapping my hand around the butt of my .45. Pulling the heavy gun free from the drawer and dropping it to my side.

I crept to the bedroom door and listened. I heard the rustling of newspapers in the living room. Someone was still in my house. I gritted my teeth, took a few calming breaths and pulled the door open slightly, taking a quick peek through the crack.

Someone, a female someone by the way the jeans fit around the curves, was bent over by the couch. Scooping up handfuls of at least six months worth of want ads. It would not have bothered me the least to see someone cleaning up my garbage, but it was the fact I could see the end of a gun in a concealable holster ticking out the back waist band of the jeans that someone was wearing.

I raised my gun, trying hard to control my shaking hands and get a clear sight picture at the center of the females back as she began to straighten up. I pushed air through my vocal chords to get them to cooperate at a louder level than a rasp, "Keep your hands where I can see them or I bisect your lung before you can turn around."

The female paused when she straightened completely, her long blonde hair settling around her shoulders, she dropped the newspapers and held her hands out to the side.

"Turn around, face me and start talking why you are in my house." I lowered the gun for a second to regain control of my hands that were beginning to complain I was holding them up for longer than they wanted.

The blonde turned slowly and when her golden brown eyes met mine with an intensity that made my heart skip, I whispered, "Lauren? What the fuck are you doing here?"


	6. Chapter 6

"You're late for work, Bo." Lauren's voice was quiet and calming. Her eyes never left mine even as I pointed a gun at her. I dropped my hands and leaned against the door frame of my bedroom. I waved at her to put her arms down, setting the gun down on the top of the TV stand next to me.

"I know, but why are you here? Don't you have a perfectly good lackey to come and break into my house, scare the shit out of me for you?" I took a step forward and stumbled, I was still woozy and extremely dehydrated. Lauren caught my arm as I reached out to steady myself, fingertips grazing the edge of the TV stand.

"Bo, sit down. I'll get you some water."

I wanted to pull away from her grasp, but left her hand as it lay on my upper arm. I was too tired and too hung over to try and walk on my own. I flinched when I felt her arm slide around my waist. A warm hand came next, sitting lightly on to my side. Lauren held on to me firmly, helping me to sit on the couch. I had a strange feeling begin to radiate from where her hand sat that continued even after her touch left my side. I shook my head, blaming the alcohol for whatever it was I felt. Nothing more. It shouldn't and couldn't be anything more.

I leaned forward, elbows on knees, holding my head as the headache pounded like the percussion section of a symphony. I was getting more irritated by each minute I was awake, "Are you going to answer my question?" The roll of my stomach made my clench my jaw tight. I had to command it to not lose its few contents in front of this woman.

I heard water fill up a glass and the soft rattle of my aspirin bottle being shaken. I swallowed and looked up, noticing now how clean my house was compared to how I left if for the last few months, "Did you clean my house?" I began to notice pictures were hung up straight, books were returned to shelves, dishes were cleaned and put away properly and lastly, there were no piles of random items. Tossed carelessly when I no longer had an immediate use for them. The house was spotless and almost immaculate.

I felt Lauren sit down next to me, close enough that our legs brushed for a moment. A glass of cool water was pushed towards me, "Drink this." A slender hand held out two white pills, "Take these. It will help the headache."

I side glanced at Lauren, giving her a look. My patience was not great when I was hung over, especially when it was this bad. She was testing it as pushed the glass closer, "Please drink this, then I will answer your questions." Her voice was still soft, concerned hinting in the edges.. As if she was afraid to speak louder than at a library approved volume.

I grabbed the glass and did my best to pick up the two tiny white pills with shaky fingers, chugging the water and the pills in a few sloppy drinks. I set the glass down hard and leaned back into the couch, closing my eyes again. The minimal amount of light from my open curtains made it feel like the sun was sitting on top of me. Staring at me like I was a circus freak.

I could feel her staring at me as she began to speak, "I didn't break in. I went to knock on the door and it was unlocked and open." I felt her shift on the couch, move away from me. Our legs breaking the minimal contact they had. "I then stayed when I found you on the couch passed out and not in a very good state. I helped you get into bed and waited. In case you needed someone, something." She took a breath, "I did clean the house. Yes." It came out quickly, as if she was suddenly embarrassed she had played molly maid in my house.

I opened one eye and looked at her, eyebrow raised, "And what compelled you to do so?" My tone was a mix of irritation and arrogance.

Lauren was looking down at her hands. She was nervous for some reason. "I wanted too." She looked up at me with a light smile, "I owe you for yesterday." The tone in her voice was genuine and more, I could see it reflected in her eyes, those soft golden brown eyes that seemed to sparkle when the ambient light hit them. It made me swallow hard and want to distract where my mind was heading with these little details I was picking about the Senator.

I rolled my eyes and leaned forward, "You don't owe me anything, Lauren. It's my job, well, was my job." I stood up, stumbling to the kitchen to refill my glass of water, "Is that why you are here, to deliver my pink slip in person? Is a clean house part of my severance package?" I drank the water. I knew I had fucked up by drinking last night. This was a huge breach of my contract with her, on top of never really quite making it on time to my second day of work. I leaned against the counter to support my weight and turned to look at the couch and Lauren sitting there. Wishing she would hurry up and get it over with so I could move on with this shitty day.

Lauren took a moment before turning to look at me over her shoulder, "Maybe you would like to take a shower before we discuss anything else. It will help clear your mind." Lauren's tone had shifted slightly too a little more of a serious one.

I sighed; I knew what was coming now.

I pushed off the counter and set the glass down with a hard clank, "Yup. Alright." I walked to the bathroom, grabbing the pair of sweatpants draped over the back of a chair along the way. My stomach and heart was in complete turmoil. I knew I had fucked up big time and lost my only chance at possibly starting over. On top of that, there was something about the blonde Senator that actually made me feel guilty for fucking up. Maybe it was the way she looked at me like a person and not an employee, or maybe it was just the way she looked at me in general. I had seen that look once before and it blinded me. I clenched my jaw as more small memories fought through the haze of my cloudy morning after mind.

I tried not to slam the bathroom door while I stripped my clothes off and ripped the gauze off my cheek, tossing it haphazardly into the empty garbage can next to the toilet. I paused, scanning around the bathroom, letting the shower heat up. Lauren had even cleaned my bathroom. Gone were the crinkled toothpaste tubes scattered all over the countertop, the messy towels that hung all over the door in various states of drying, and the bathtub was spotless. I whispered a holy shit and climbed into the shower, letting the scalding water pound away at my sore muscles and headache. Wondering why in the hell would a senator stoop so low to clean a drunk's house.

* * *

I got out of the shower when the hot water trickled down to a medium boil. I pulled on the sweatpants and the baggy shirt I discarded. When I ran a towel through my hair, I frowned when the bright red drops of the fresh blood soaked into the pale blue terry cloth. Looking in the mirror, I groaned. The heat mixed with steam and opened my cut. Just enough to let it bleed and ruin a towel. I threw the wet and bloody towel over my shoulder, holding a corner against the cut to stop up the minimal bleeding while I dug around the cabinets for my first aid kit.

I carried the kit out into the living room and set it on the coffee table. Lauren was nowhere to be found and for a second I wondered if she had left. Frustrated with the fact that I had taken a forty five minute shower. Which I had done half on purpose and half not on purpose. I wanted the woman to leave the house and leave my pink slip on the coffee table. No need for awkward goodbyes or delayed lectures of what I could be if only I made the choice.

I flipped the lid to the first aid kit open, taking out gauze, tape and the tube of antibiotic ointment. When I pulled the towel away, I saw that the bleeding had gotten worse. I would look for the pink slip later, first I had to decide if skimpy gauze pads were enough or if I would have to make a return trip to the hospital.

As I tore at the edges of the gauze package, I heard the front door open again. Looking up I saw Lauren walking back in to the house. She was still looking outside, focused on something out by the curb. Now that I was clearer from the shower, I noticed she was once again dressed down. Gone was the prim and proper business causal ways of the Senator Lewis. Lauren was back in a pale green V-neck and worn but fitted jeans. Her hair was down and it was obvious she had driven with the car windows open. Lauren's blonde hair was perfectly messy and seemed to glow with the afternoon sun. She was almost stunning if I wasn't so irritated she had broken into my house to clean it and then fire me. And maybe also irritated by the strange things I was feeling for her when she looked at me or brushed a limb across mine.

Lauren closed the door and turned to me. Her eyes met mine, making the panic rise that she had caught me looking at her like I was. She threw on a tight half smile, "I was taking the rest of the empty bottles out to the curb for recycling." But then her eyes quickly dropped to my cheek and the bleeding cut, "Oh god Bo, you're bleeding." She walked quickly to the couch and sat down, trying to look at the cut closer.

I waved her off and tried to lean away from her, "My stitches opened up in the shower. It's nothing."

Lauren picked up the half opened gauze and began to dab at the cut, "The cut expanded from the heat, the stitches are still doing their job. But your skin around it swelled up." She squinted like my doctor would during an examination.

The first touch against my cheek hurt and I tried to pull back, "What are you, a doctor too? I said Leave it, its fine."

I didn't get far with her. Lauren's hand came up and gently grabbed the other side of my face. Holding me still with a warm hand and a firm grip, instantly reminding me of what it felt like when her hand was on mine in the copy room.

Safe.

Lauren pulled me to look at her as she looked me in the eyes, "Stop it Bo. Let me look at it and dress it or you will have to go back to the hospital."

I gave in after a mini stare down between us. I nodded and let her continue dabbing while I looked anywhere but her. "And technically yes I am a doctor. I graduated with a medical degree in research medicine but only did three months of a hospital rotation before I was accepted to Princeton." Lauren smiled lightly at me, "It was in my file. The one I know you read."

I had read her file and I had a thousand questions to ask her. One in particular if she really knew how to use the gun still tucked in her back waistband or if it was for show. Second to that was why she wouldn't give up on me where so many had in the last two years. Including myself.

I looked at in her eyes and at how they eyes smiled when she smiled, but only when it was genuine. One that she only seemed to reserve for me and Davey. Not Rebecca. These were the little things I noticed when I was sober for a minute in her company.

I took a sharp breath when she pressed a sore edge, my irritation suddenly flickering high, "Are you going to take all day to fire me? I find it's easier for both parties if we don't drag it out."

Lauren's hand held onto the edge of my jaw, stilling it as I kept moving away from her. She paused her other hand and looked me dead in the eyes, "I am not firing you, Bo."

"Why not. You can tell I am drunk, hung over and by the amount of bottles you drug out to the curb. I haven't stopped drinking." I looked away, focusing on her shoulder, "Breach of contract."

Her hand fell from my jaw, cool air flowing across the skin where her hand just was. Sending slight shivers through me. Lauren began applying antibiotic ointment to a clean gauze pad, "You did breach the contract we agreed on. But I am not firing you. You proved to me yesterday that you could do this job, do it better than anyone I have ever met." She held up the gauze, placing it over my cut. Gently pressing the tape to secure it to my cheek. "I did have an idea that you would have a minor slip up. That's why when you didn't show up for work this morning. I came instead of Rebecca." Lauren's hand returned to the now cool spot on my jaw, warming it in a way that I feared I would get accustomed too. She double checked her work, smiling at me again, "I wanted to come here, to check on you. You had me worried yesterday, Bo. I wasn't about to send someone in my place when I care as much as I do myself."

I watched her swallow hard, her eyes drifting to my lips then back up to my eyes. The thumb on her hand that had steadied me began to move slightly across my cheek. I backed away from her hand, not because I didn't like the way her thumb was soft against my skin, but because I did.

I had to look away from Lauren, "Did you tell Rebecca you aren't firing me? I am sure she will be ecstatic and I certainly won't hear a million more times how I am a failure." My words dripped with sarcasm as I stood up to get away from the couch, Lauren, and the crazy feelings that were rushing in my body and around my heart. This was not good. "Your little girlfriend, if you haven't noticed, hates me. Sees me for the fuck up I really am."

"Rebecca has been instructed to put her personal opinions aside and focus on getting you up to date." Lauren's tone shifted to that of the rigid Senator I had seen on TV over the years. Cold and unfaltering. "She is also not my girlfriend."

I nodded, folding my arms as I looked out the now clean windows. I suddenly wanted to know from the horse's mouth about Lauren and Rebecca. Maybe because I wanted a reason to point and tell Rebecca I was right the next time I saw her. Maybe I wanted to kill the minute feelings Lauren brought out of me, or I wanted to pick at Lauren again and kill the minute feelings she held in her eyes every time she looked at me in the last twenty four hours.

I took a breath, "But she was once." I turned to look at Lauren, "What exactly is the deal with you two? I can see it a mile away and from day one that you two are more than just good old pals from college." My tone came with more edge than I wanted and it hit Lauren just right.

Her brow furrowed, her jaw twitching as her mind moved searching for the answer to tell me. It didn't take her long, "We crossed lines, yes." Lauren took a slow breath, "But I ended that two years ago when I saved her life." Lauren looked up in my eyes, hers swirling with mixed emotions, "We all make choices, Bo, ones that impact our lives and the lives of others. I don't regret doing what I did for Rebecca." She stood up, putting the first aid kit back together, "I regret many other things, but not that."

Lauren closed the lid on the metal box when she was done perfectly reorganizing the first aid kit. I watched her, feeling my own regret creep up in picking at an obviously painful subject with the blonde. The blonde who had shown me more kindness than anyone else outside of a liquor store owner in years. For Christ's sake she had cleaned my dumpster of a house better than it was when I bought it.

Lauren stood up and grabbed her leather jacket, sliding her arms in, "I will see you in the morning Bo."

I cut her off before she said anything else, I had to know something else, "Are you trying to save me like you saved Rebecca?" I blurted it out. I needed to know if I was the next great savior project of this enigma of a woman standing by my couch.

Lauren smiled lightly, tugging at the edge of her jacket, "Not unless you need a new heart, no."

* * *

XXXXXXX

I placed my hands on my hips, looking at the brunette. I knew at some point she would inquire about Rebecca and I. She was right that there was something there. I also knew her exceptional observation skills would pick up on Rebecca's cues and how I responded to her when we were in close proximity. But I was caught off guard when Bo asked like it was nothing. When I looked in the still cloudy eyes of the woman, I felt like now would be the perfect time to tell her some of the truth.

Bo stood across from me; her arms still folded and face still flush from her scalding shower, "A new heart? Is that a metaphor for something?" Her brow furrowed in the way that it always did when she was mildly irritated.

I shook my head, dropping back down to sit on the couch, "No metaphor." I paused. I knew in time I would have to tell Bo the whole truth, but for now I would give her only bits and pieces until the time was right. I closed my eyes, letting the memories free. "About two years ago Rebecca and I were involved. More than just on a professional level. It was bound to happen since we had spent all of our time together since the first day we met. Feelings and attractions developed over time." I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "It was a quiet relationship. One that we both did very well to keep out of the public and even out of our own private circles." I glanced up at Bo who had shifted from irritation to actually listening. I smiled and turned back to the coffee table, "About a year ago we went to France with the Secretary of State to attend a conference discussing the foreign policies between the two countries. I was selected as the Republican representative and the trip was just meant to be a dog and pony show for all parties involved."

I sat back on the couch, staring at the photograph of the desert on Bo's wall I had straightened out earlier, "After dinner the first night, Rebecca and I retired to our room. She went to take a shower before bed and when she took longer than normal, I went to check on her." My brow furrowed as my photographic memory laid that night out for me in perfect detail. Making me sigh deeply, "I found Rebecca crumpled up in a ball at the bottom of the shower. Clutching her chest and unable to tell me what was wrong because she was in so much pain. Then came all of the blood, out of her nose, her mouth." I paused, seeing the moment perfectly. Hearing Rebecca struggling to gasp in breaths as she grabbed my arm so hard it left marks for days. "I was certain she was having a heart attack and called for help. It was the only time I welcomed the Secret Service anywhere near me. They rushed Rebecca to the hospital. She immediately went into surgery for an Aortic tear."

I looked over at Bo. She had moved to sit on the edge of the couch, staring at me still, but her face had softened. "Five hours and they did what they could, informing me as Rebecca stabilized that she had a rare condition that had come to a head. An offspring of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Her aorta would never fully heal and in time she would face more tears, ruptures and eventually total heart failure. Sharing with me that Rebecca's genetics had dealt her this hand and this faulty heart." I folded my arms and turned back to the desert, "I didn't waste time in making a decision. I called in favors wherever I had them back here. All the hospitals and doctors I reached out to all said the same, there was very little they could do for her." I tugged at the sleeve of my jacket, "I made another decision since it was the only one left for her. I had her transported with my own money to the Criterion Centre for privatized treatment." I stood up from the couch, "In time the doctors at Criterion found a treatment that gave Rebecca a second chance at life. A year later and she is now doing better than ever. A full recovery and a return to normal living on the horizon."

I dug around in my pocket for my car keys, "But as a result of making the choices I did for her, I had to separate myself from what we had. Call it patient doctor conflict, fear of watching someone I cared for dying in front of me, or whatever. It had to end." I smiled and looked at Bo, hoping she would accept my vague explanation of why Rebecca and I could no longer continue our relationship. It wasn't far from the truth, but Bo wasn't ready for the whole truth. The truth would come as my enemies moved closer, but for now the only enemy standing before me was the brunette and the things I felt about her I couldn't shake. "So no, Rebecca is not my girlfriend and will never be anything more than a trusted friend."

I suddenly wanted to leave Bo and the house. I felt embarrassed for the small lines I had crossed with her while I cleaned up her cut. Embarrassed that I should have fired the woman for blatant breach of contract and admitting to it, but I couldn't. Bo had a draw to her that dragged me to her like a magnet and I was a cheap piece of tin. Her dark chocolate eyes cloudy or clear would always pull me to look at her. But there was something about this woman I couldn't ignore on many levels. I also knew she would do her job better than anyone else I would find to replace her.

I cleared my throat after an awkward moment of silence. Only two or three people knew about Rebecca's heart and only two more beyond that carried with them the whole truth of how her new heart came to be. I was not surprised when Bo sat in silence. "I will see you in the morning." I turned to leave, pausing as I opened the front door, "Oh, bring some extra clothes with you. I have a spare bedroom you can use since the commute from here to Malibu can be brutal at rush hour."

I smiled and took a step out the door when I heard Bo.

"I will be there at 0730, and Lauren."

The tone in her voice made me look back at her, "Thank you." She waved her hand around the now spotless house, "For everything." She smiled tightly and I caught a glimpse of the dimple.

I nodded and left the house, closing the door quietly behind me as I slipped on my aviators and unlocked the Cadillac. Starting the car I knew that tomorrow would be day one of a complete change for both of us. What it was exactly, well, I would wait and see.


	7. Chapter 7

The car radio kept slow time, blinking 0705 at me over and over while I sat in the shade of the large willow tree. I had parked on the side of the road at the edge of Lauren's street, hiding. I couldn't rest or sleep after she left my house yesterday. My house was so clean that it inspired me to try to clean out the garage while I cleaned out myself. I dumped every hidden bottle of scotch I had tucked away but left the bottle of Chivas untouched in its black velvet home. For some reason I couldn't dump it or pick it up, I just moved it from the floor to the top shelf of my closet. Piling sweaters and sweats in front of it, to cutting the tempting edges of the box away from desperate eyes if the time came again.

I tried to sleep in my clean bed in my clean house and nothing would come my way. I just kept thinking about Lauren in my house and what we had talked about and what we hadn't. I was also mesmerized by the corners of my house I never knew existed until a super OCD Senator came through and unveiled them. So instead of rolling around in my blankets and bed, I got up at three in the morning. Ate breakfast for the first time since I was an agent, showered and dressed into another one of my brand new tailored suits. A dark blue fitted suit with thin light blue pinstripes and a grey silk v-neck shirt. I took care with my hair and makeup, making sure that I wiped any traces away of my hesitation or gave Lauren any little clues that I was nervous, worried and had not slept in what was creeping on twenty-four hours. I was even able to downgrade the large gauze pad over my cut to a small band-aid.

I then sat on my couch watching the early morning news before I grew bored and hopped in my car to drive to the Senators Malibu home. It also didn't help that the house reminded me of Lauren and the moment we shared on the couch as she dressed my cut. I had to leave before I started thinking again like I had all night.

The upside of leaving as early as I did, there was no rush hour traffic. Cutting my drive in half. Downside I was almost an hour and a half early for my second day of work. Something that mildly terrified me for an unknown reason. One I had sifted through as I sat in a small pull off area for sightseers, listening to radio host discuss the intricacies of Mozart's early years.

I stretched my fingers here and there, testing the shakes as the scotch began to fall away completely. I knew they were coming and I had to keep a note of when they began to attack, so I could start my own plan of attack of eating, drinking coffee and utilizing all the other small tricks I had employed in the past when sobriety was necessary.

I finally gave in at around seven twenty and put the car into drive, pulling it up on to the winding side road that would take me to the Senator. As I flicked on the turn signal, an identical Lincoln to mine pulled to the edge of the driveway. Pausing before it turned right and drove away from me. I filled the empty driveway with my Lincoln and parked it in the same spot I had a few days ago, silently designating it as my spot. Getting out of the car I took a deep calming breath, I knew hurricane Rebecca would be awaiting me inside. Grabbing my bag I walked to the front door, suddenly confused if I should walk in or knock. My first day I was met by Lauren and somehow we never worked out the small details of if I could walk in or use the access card I had yet to receive. Good lord I was nervous.

I compromised and rang the door bell, smiling at the deep abnormal tone of the door bell. I half expected a pretentious sound to alert the Senator and her assistant to the arrival of all their guests. I took another deep breath, clutching my briefcase with both hands, trying to work out what I would say as the first winds of hurricane Rebecca hit me.

Instead I was met with the smiling Senator, "Bo, good to see you this morning. Come in, I was just making coffee." Lauren pulled the door open wider and walked away. She was still eagerly accepting the dress downed lifestyle. Wearing the same fitted jeans I saw her in yesterday but sans gun in the waistband. Topped off with a pale coral V-neck, I absently wondered how many v-necks this woman owned. Not that I mind since they did nothing but add to her natural beauty. I shook the thought out of my head as I entered, shutting the door behind me. Heightened emotions could still technically be an excuse for the little things I felt whenever Lauren was in my presence, but that wouldn't last forever.

I followed the sounds of cabinets opening and shutting, ceramic mugs landing softly on the deep granite tabletops that lined her kitchen. I set my briefcase on the floor, watching Lauren fill mugs up with a smile. "I am glad you are on time today, Bo. I have to go over a few changes before we get started."

She handed me a hot mug of coffee, her eyes settling on my hands to see where my shakes were at. I took the cup and quickly filled both of my hands with the white mug, ending Lauren's silent analysis. Her eyes then drifted up to the skin colored band-aid over my cut, "How are your stitches doing today?"

I smiled tightly, "They have seemed to have calmed down. It also helps that I didn't take a scalding shower. I have already ruined enough towels with my blood." I paused and focused on the mug in my hands, "Thank you for that as well. Being there...to clean it up." I cringed at the struggled words falling out of my mouth.

I took a sip, while Lauren added cream to hers and a few packets of that strange organic sugar everyone raved over. That's when I began to notice that Rebecca had yet to make an appearance. In the short time I was around the two women, I had picked up that Rebecca appeared at least five minutes after being apart from Lauren. It had been nine minutes and still no sign of the former NSA agent.

"Where is Rebecca? I would like to get started as soon as possible on today's training."

Lauren hopped up on to the counter by the sink, sitting and letting her legs swing slightly. I was taken aback, once again, at the simple and very un-politician ways this blonde had about her. She could truly turn it on and off. She smiled at me before glancing out the over sink window, "That's the changes I would like to go over with you. Rebecca will not be training you today, I will be."

I almost spit up the coffee I had in my mouth. Coughing lightly I set the cup down, "Um, you?"

Lauren still kept her gaze out the window, entranced by something, "Rebecca had to fly to Geneva for a few days. To get her heart looked at and take care of a few things at Criterion." She turned and looked in my eyes, "I promise it won't be as intense or aggressive as you are used too with Rebecca. But I will get you where you need to be." she slid off the counter. Setting her cup in the sink, Lauren turned to me. Arms folded and still smiling, "Is that agreeable with you? If not we can work on other things until she returns and finishes the training."

I involuntarily shook my head faster than I wanted, "No, no I think you will be able to do an equally exceptional job." I smiled, "When do you want to get started?"

Lauren pushed off the counter, "Now I guess is as good as any time."

I watched her glance at the clock, "Gives us five hours until lunch." she looked over her shoulder at me, "How do you feel about pizza today? There is a small place that makes the best Chicago style this far west."

I stared at the woman, still amazed at how she was a Senator when she was the pure example of a rich girl on vacation. I cleared my throat and reached for my briefcase, "Can I ask one question before I agree to pizza."

Lauren nodded as she grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, leading the way to the basement office, "Certainly, Bo. I told you can ask me anything."

I took the steps to end up behind her. My eyes drifting to how well those fitted jeans really did fit her. "Why politics? You are unlike any politician or celebrity for that fact, I have worked for."

Lauren spoke as we navigated the curved and angled hallways to the stairs. "Politics always intrigued me as teenager. I did choose medicine and science as my first true love. The world it showed me was something that allowed my hyperactive mind endless possibilities to search out. Then as my work in research medicine continued I became frustrated at how the world seemed to rely on politics and government to dictate how to take care of themselves. I saw a change needed and from my experiences in life and the way I was raised. I knew the only way to facilitate real change was to dive in head first, get my hands dirty and fight for what I felt was right."

Lauren swiped her access card, the door clicking open with a whisper. She held it open for me, "I also had a need for the government and its resources as I started to get involved more with the Criterion Centre. Surprisingly, politics is a whole different puzzle for my mind to work through. It's a puzzle of people and power and how to place the pieces in the right spots to get where you need too and get what you want."

I walked to the desk and flopped into the leather chair, still watching Lauren as she moved around the room. Picking up files and papers, "But to really answer the question I know is lying under the one you asked." She sat down on the chair next to me, rolling over closer. So close I could smell the ocean air on her. She had been down at the beach this morning, allowing the salt from the water to catch into her perfectly messy hair, "Just because I am a Senator in the Republican party doesn't mean that I am not still Lauren. The girl who prefers to dress like a beach bum and not treat people other than people. I may have power, money and influence but I find it all useless unless I maintain the kindness my mother raised me on." Lauren smiled at me. The same smile that carried up into her golden brown eyes and made my heart move a little more erratically. "Does that answer your questions?"

I stared in her eyes. There was a kindness about her. A kindness that also could be compared to an overwhelming sense that she did not clean houses just for anyone. I broke away from her eyes, letting my heart to return to its normal rhythm. I swallowed, "Sorta. You just surprised me the other day and every other day. I secretly wish all politicians were like you." Memories of all the assholes and jackasses I had to protect ran across my mind. Instances where I was yelled at for catching some in pajamas or interrupting their morning coffee with security updates. Lauren was unlike anyone I had ever met and it extended past just those I had worked for. I had never met a woman like her period, one that was invoking the small feelings she did. Ones that were inching in growth every moment she showed me kindness where others never did. It scared me.

I went to turn on the monitor in front of me when I felt her hand on my arm, warming my skin even through the thick cotton of my brand new suit, "You surprise me everyday too, Bo." Her voice had shifted into the quiet one. The same quiet one she had used when we sat inches apart, her thumb grazing my skin in a way that I couldn't easily forget.

I nodded and grabbed the mouse, gently breaking the contact between Lauren and I. "Rebecca left off at setting me up with my own email accounts for the Senate and for Criterion. I think that's a good place to pick up at." I focused on clicking around the desktop. I didn't want to turn and look at Lauren. I could feel her eyes on me and it made me nervous.

Lauren was a much better trainer than Rebecca. As she said, much less intensive and aggressive and took her time. Time went by faster when I didn't feel as if I was being scrutinized for every little thing I did or didn't do. Lunch slipped past us and I would not have noticed if it wasn't for the fact that my body began to argue with me. Confused at my second attempt at finding a sober path, it wanted something. Anything to fill the cravings that were filtering down to my hands. Making them tremble.

Lauren was mid sentence telling me how to get access to the file system for the Criterion Centre when she paused. I looked up at her. Her eyes were on my hands that trembled. "We should have stopped for lunch. I'm sorry, Bo. I tend not to stop when I am on a rant." she stood up, "Let me go place an order now. It will be here by the time we get cleaned up."

She held her hand out to me, "Go upstairs. Inside the fridge is a pitcher of herbal tea I made last night for you. It will help take the edge off. In the cabinet next to the fridge is a bottle of milk thistle capsules. Take one. Both will help with your withdrawal, speed it up and take the worse of it away without having to seek a prescription."

I looked at her hand. It was a simple gesture of kindness, helping me up and out of my leather chair and cramped seat for the last seven hours. I didn't take her hand. Instead I used the arm rests and pushed up. Avoiding all contact with Lauren as I moved past her. It was not my intention to be rude or dismiss her, I was just afraid that the more I touched her the more I would want too. I smiled, "You support one of the leading research facilities in the world for medicine, and yet you seek out the old wives way of getting me off the bottle." I said it with a smile on my face. She had surprised me again.

Lauren dropped her hand to the side, My little comment taking the sting away from not accepting her hand. She shrugged, "Sometimes simple is best." Lauren turned to my empty chair, sitting down she dug out her cell phone. Pulling up a Al's pizza on the screen. She smiled at me as she placed the order, waving me off to go upstairs.

I took my leave and when I was in the kitchen I found the tea and the milk thistle exactly as she said they would be. I shook my head, filling a class with the aromatic brown tea. My hands were getting worse, almost as bad as the day at Pepperdine. I sipped hesitantly, expecting the tea to taste like dirt. I was surprised when it hit my taste buds. It was unlike any tea I had before, it was delicious. Popping a small white capsule into my mouth I walked out into the sitting room. The same room that I had my interview just a few days ago. I walked to the large windows, focusing on the view that seemed to go on forever and made the house feel like it was on the edge of a cliff. Open, endless and beautiful.

I held my glass, taking more and more sips as I began to feel the settling affects almost immediately. I let my eyes drift across red terra-cotta roof tops, down to large clusters of full green tree tops and finally to the sand that was a light beige from the sun and a dark brown from the lingering touch of the waves.

The view reminded me of the trip to Italy I had taken right before Montreal. How I stood out on the balcony of the house he rented for us that weekend. The terra-cotta roofs before me now, were almost exact to the ones that lined the lake around me. I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes. That was the last time I was happy, or thought I was happy. It was hard to be happy when you had to live a life in secret, to live in love in secret. I opened my eyes and let out a breath, to live what I thought was a life in love. I cringed as the happy memories of that trip to Italy faded into the days before that life altering day in Montreal. I drained the rest of the tea and turned to head back into the kitchen for more. If my sober clear mind wanted to explore the depths of my memories, I would need all the help I could find in keeping my hands off a new bottle of scotch.

When I looked up from my empty glass, Lauren was standing in the doorway to the sitting room. Her arms folded across her chest, smiling. "That view is quite remarkable. It was the sole reason my father bought the land and had the architect build around it." she took a few steps towards me, "The pizza will be here in twenty minutes." She looked at the empty glass in my hands and back up to my eyes. The flicker over her eyes told me that she was reading me. Picking up on the distress I was trying to hide from my memories, "How is the tea?"

I forced a smile, "It is actually better than I thought it would be. I always found herbal tea to taste like dirt or dandelions." I went to head towards the kitchen, "I was about to get some more."

I walked past her. Right as I was at the dividing line between the dark mahogany wood planking floor of the sitting room and the grey marble tile of the kitchen I heard Lauren, "Bo, if you ever want to talk. I'm here. Not as the Senator or your boss, but as a friend who cares." It was her couch voice. The one that blew through me and sat around my heart. Coaxing it to let go and feel safe when she spoke.

I paused in my steps. Her words hitting deeper than expected. I hated the fact that this woman had the innate ability to read me like a thin piece of tissue paper. No matter how hard my walls stood or how thick they were built. I didn't turn to her even as I felt her eyes on me, "Duly noted." it came out soft but determined. That last thing I wanted to talk about with her was the biggest mistake of my life that I still carried with me and still could threaten to spill over in to my life now. I gripped the glass and made a beeline to the fridge, pouring a large glass of tea and chugging it down. Praying it would work faster as the need for scotch crept harder and harder in.

* * *

xxxxxxxxxx

There was something bothering Bo. Something that went past her newest round of withdrawal, the fear of failing in her eyes that would show itself here and there. I had caught her off guard when I surprised her at the windows. Her eyes held a moment of love, not a current love or a building new love. But an old one, an old love that was still trapped in her memories and something had cut its tether to her deep guarded secrets and let it come to the surface.

Looking over my shoulder to the noises she was making in the kitchen, I wondered if she would take my offer to listen. The woman was a walking pressure cooker of secrets waiting to explode. I wanted her to trust me and let them out. I wanted more from her.

The doorbell rang, "Bo I will get it. It should be the pizza." I dropped my arms, walking towards the front door. The day was unexpected. Rebecca was truly supposed to be here and train Bo for the rest of the week. Then Dr. Zehren called, a small abnormality appeared in Rebecca's latest tissue samples. She needed to go right away and get examined. Rebecca had fought me a little on staying and finishing her job, claiming once again her lack of faith in Bo's ability. I pushed back. I knew how to use the computer system in the house and in my offices, I had taken part in creating and installing them when I was elected. I also wanted to gauge Bo's ability to learn and absorb information on my own.

Jogging down the stairs as the second door bell echoed I could see why Rebecca was jealous of Bo. Bo was smart, observant and witty underneath the shell of a broken woman. The training had gone quickly. She had observed and absorbed everything from the first day masterfully and I knew in time Bo would surpass Rebecca. I knew Rebecca had made that realization as well, making her want to push the brunette to her breaking point. When Bo asked the why politics question, I answered her. truthfully I wasn't a true politician in the sense of poor self entitled behavior towards my employees. For some reason she made me want to be even more kinder, more caring and open. Bo made me want to be me all the time and forgo the transformation act I had to do everyday between my office and my home. She made me feel safe enough to let my guard down and let her in to the last and most personal layer of my onion of a life.

I accepted the hot white pizza boxes that felt like they weighed ten pounds each, tipping the young man heavily, I walked back to the kitchen. My diet also seemed to be on vacation, with tacos and pizza and whatever junk food I craved. I glanced at the happy drawing on the white lid of an excited pizza maker, tossing a pizza in the air and tweaking his stereotypical mustache, asking me to enjoy the delight the box held. I smiled and absently wondered what Bo's favorite food was. I often absently wondered a lot of things about her I knew I shouldn't.

In truth, I was secretly glad Rebecca had to leave for Geneva. It allowed me for some time alone with the brunette in the kitchen. I wanted to learn more about her and give her a safe place to let it out without having a pair of over scrutinizing eyes on her. I had not stopped thinking about Bo the moment I left her house yesterday. I replayed every moment I shared with her in the house, peeling apart the little body cues and the inflection in her voice. The way it took her more than a few seconds to move away from my touch and how her eyes told me the opposite of her words. The way I could see her pulse increase and decrease in the vein on her neck when I was too close or I was hitting close to home.

I let out a sigh at the top of the stairs to the kitchen. It was obvious there was an attraction building between us. All of the signs were there and I had to explore it further. To find out if it was still because she saved my life or if it was because she was unlike any woman I had ever met in my life.

I threw on a smile when I saw Bo standing at the sink, lost in the view provided by the over the sink windows. She was truly beautiful when she was silent and lost in something like she was now. It seemed the only time she was at peace with the war in her mind. She didn't notice me in the kitchen until I slid the white boxes on the counter. The soft whisper of heavy cardboard gliding across a smooth surface. Bo snapped out of her haze and turned to me, our eyes locking together as they often seemed to do. The dark chocolate eyes were clear and bright when they met mine. I had to tear away from her gaze as those dark brown eyes began to make my heart skip, "I got plain cheese, I wasn't sure which toppings you liked." I busied my hands with opening the box, letting the steam puff out. "The plates are in the cabinet to the left of the sink."

I lifted one thick slice of the Chicago style pizza, "We may need utensils. I always forget how deep dish Al's pizza is." I dropped a thick slice on to a white plate Bo had slid towards me. I pushed the filled plate back towards her, "We can sit here or out on the patio."

Bo grabbed the plate, "The patio is fine. I could use some fresh air."

The slight undetectable tremor in her voice clued me in that her withdrawal was starting to rear its ugly head. She needed to eat, drink and rest. I pointed out to the sitting room, "Through the sitting room and the sliding doors, there is a table to the left. Dig in and I will meet you out there. Did you want more tea?"

Bo nodded and swallowed hard, "Or water." She scooped up her plate and utensils. Moving in the direction I had pointed her in.

I followed shortly, balancing the first pizza box with my plate on top and carrying two glasses of tea in my other hand. Thankful Bo had left the sliding door cracked open for me to push through with a leg. She was munching on the pizza one bite at a time. I set the glass down, Bo nodding a silent thank you as I took the seat across from her.

For a few moments we ate in silence. Bo would take a bite then get lost in the view set before us. I had devoured almost half of my slice in the moments of silence, I felt the blush of embarrassment and looked up at Bo, "Penny for your thoughts?"

Bo snapped out of her thoughts, turning to me, "What was that?"

I smiled, sipping at my tea, "I said penny for your thoughts. You are lost in the tree tops, Bo."

Bo smiled lightly, dropping her eyes to her barely touched pizza, "This place reminds me of Italy, that's all." she picked up her fork and trimmed off a chunk of pizza and slowly dragging it up to her mouth.

"I am assuming you went there on a detail?" I was trying to start a conversation. I wanted to distract her from her thoughts and try to get her to eat.

Bo nodded as she chewed, "I went there yes, but not exactly on a detail." She shrugged, pushing her food around. She turned, her eyes falling back on to the view, "These terra-cotta roofs remind me of the ones that I would look out on from a balcony. Kinda like this." her brow furrowed for a minute, signaling a memory was at play.

"Was it an impromptu vacation?" I kept my tone soft, I didn't want to incite a brash reaction from her as she seemed to open up to me.

Bo shook her head, looking up in my eyes, "It was a dumb mistake. A mistake that I made in what I now understand was made by the blindness of what I thought was love." She shrugged again, taking another small bite of food, "This is really good, Lauren. Thank you."

I could see the hurt in her eyes over Italy and whoever it was that she followed there. I wanted to dig deeper. I wanted to know who it was that captured her so completely that it affected her still to this day. I finished my first piece of pizza and grabbed a second, "When I was eighteen and finishing my senior year of college, I almost threw my entire career and the life I have now away for my medieval history professor." I set to cutting up the second massive slice of pizza up, glancing up at Bo to see if I had caught her attention. I did, she was looking at me wide-eyed, "She was twenty-four, so this story isn't going to be as salacious as the typical I fell for my ancient professor stories. Professor Victoria Hyde was stunning and had all of her students following her like little lost puppies. Including me."

I smiled sheepishly, "I was young and living only in books my entire life, she gave me a new outlook on life outside the written word of books, the chemical structures of atoms and the fine rigidity of medicine. She made my heart beat a little faster when she was around, made me sweat a little more and I craved to be around her any chance I could." I took a bite of pizza, "I was head over heels in smitten young love." I had never told this story to anyone other than Davey when he found me in my dorm room, sobbing. I had become too embarrassed to ever tell anyone, until now. I wanted to share with Bo that everyone made mistakes in the name of love. Some bigger than others and some equally as life changing.

Bo was smiling at me, "Did you breach teacher student lines?"

I laughed, "Only a little bit. One kiss was all I got from the woman. She was taken with me but wanted her career more than she wanted love. That and I was a gangly, awkward genius with poor fashion sense and little idea of what I wanted from the world. I just knew Victoria made me feel something, something that was so incredible I wanted to bottle it up and have it forever." I paused when the back of my mind suddenly suggested the small things I felt for Victoria then were similar to what was brewing for Bo.

I cleared my throat, "I went to her one day telling her that I had pulled my drop out papers and I was going to quit school for her. That we could travel across England and live in Scotland like she always dreamed of. I had money, I had my parents money and a heart full of young love." I looked at Bo, "Two of the most powerful things to have. Love and money." I set my fork down, reaching for my glass of tea, "Honestly looking back now, I have no idea what it was about Victoria that had me in such a twist. She was gorgeous, still is. But when I ran into her last month at a museum benefit, I found her to be very vapid and boring." I smirked at Bo, "My intelligence was clouded by my desire for love." I pointed at Bo, "The best part is, she has not stopped emailing me for a reunion date since then."

Bo laughed, genuinely and it was the first real glimpse of the dimple that had been hiding. "Not surprised. The ugly genius turned into the beautiful swan Senator." She looked at me, still smiling, "Why were you taking medieval history if you were a medical student?"

I didn't answer right away, I was caught on the words Bo issued. The beautiful swan Senator. I recovered and smiled to hide the effect her simple words may have had on me, "Sadly, I only went to the class because I ran into Victoria in the hallway. Literally smacked into her while I was rushing to one of my pathology classes. She helped pick up my books and then handed me a flier for her brand new class on King Arthur, fiction vs. reality." I laughed, "To be honest, I have no clue what the class was about. I took it and sat there all googly-eyed for the professor. I think that was the only class I ever got a B in." I furrowed my brow, still smiling, "After she shot me down and the extravagant travel plans I had. I dove back into my core studies. So much so I was able to graduate a few months later and head off into the path that led me here. Her breaking my young heart gave me the drive and motivation to find the path I am on now. Victoria was a mistake I was glad I made, it taught me a lot about what I wanted in life and in love."

I glanced over at Bo, noticing that she had finished her slice of pizza while I had rattled on about my first experience of love. "I do often wonder what would have happened if Victoria had accepted my proposal of running off together." It was my turn to drift off into the terra-cotta rooftops and the trees.

"I would not have the second chance you are giving me, Lauren." Bo's voice was soft and weighted with emotion. I turned to look at her. Her dark chocolate eyes were glassy and she had to turn away from me.

Bo stood up, grabbing my empty glass and hers, "I need a refill." She left in a hurry back to the kitchen. I had to take a deep breath, the job at hand was not going to be difficult at all for Bo. It would be the tension in the air that would make its appearance between us at the strangest times. And those times were increasing in frequency. I took a deep breath of the evening air and focused on devouring the second piece of pizza set before me on the plate.

When Bo came back, glasses full, the rest of the dinner conversation turned to work and her small questions about the email system and if there were any small details she needed to pay attention too. Signs that there would be no further personal conversation today. I filled Bo in and before I knew it the sun had set.

I stood up as the night air pushed around us, making me chilled. "It's late, we should call it a day." My watch telling me it was almost ten o'clock. I grabbed the empty plates and the leftover pizza when Bo stood up to take the plates from me, "Let me help, Lauren."

I smiled and let her take the plates, leading her to the kitchen I worked on putting the leftovers away. Bo put the dishes in the dishwasher and turned to me, "I should get going, the drive home is going to take forever at this hour."

I paused, "Bo, I told you to bring a bag. I have a spare bedroom all set up for you. There is no need for you to make that three-hour drive this late." I looked over Bo. She was exhausted and pale even though she ate more than I had ever seen her. I was worried that if she left she would slip up when she got home. Deep down I also didn't want her to leave. I truly enjoyed her company and the having her around made me feel.

I kept my tone gentle but firm, "Please, I insist." I smiled, "I have intentions of heading out for the best waffles in town first thing in the morning." I raised my eyebrows hoping that I could barter with food.

Bo blew out a small laugh, looking down at her folded hands, "If I didn't know any better I would think you were a fat kid trapped in a Senators body." I watched her jaw clench a few times as she mulled over staying at the house or not.

I didn't give her more opportunity for thought. I walked over to her, my hand going to her shoulder, "The bedroom is on the other side of the house and has an exquisite view of the ocean free of the roof and tree tops of this side." I squeezed her shoulder, "Don't make me order it of you, Bo."

She let out a sigh, resigning to my persistence, "Fine. But I didn't bring anything so I hope it's okay that I recycle the suit two days in a row."

I smiled, dropping my hand I took the lead, "Follow me."

We walked to the other side of the house where the spare bedroom was. No one rarely inhabited this side of the house. Rebecca and I kept to the other side where the sitting room and everything else was basically centrally located. The other side of the house was quiet and would be perfect for Bo to feel like she had her privacy and yet I could get to her or she could get to me in case of emergency.

I pushed the door open, moving to the floor to ceiling windows that wrapped around the bed and met one solid wall that was the bathroom. The room was bathed in light during the day and then was dark as night when the sun went to bed. I motioned to the bed, "It's a California king, pillow top with 700 thread count sheets. There is an alarm clock if you need it. The bedside also has extra phone charger and anything else you may need." I moved past Bo and to the closet, pulling open the door revealing a small row of clothing. Clothing in Bo's size that I had asked Rebecca to search out for when the time came she would have to stay over. I turned and looked at Bo. She was still standing in the doorway looking over the room, "And there is some clothing for you. It all should fit you, but if not. I can get anything you may need." I grabbed a pair of linen pajama pants and a sleep top, setting them on to the bed, "You are free to wear jeans and a t-shirt, or whatever you would like. Rebecca won't be back until the end of the week. I am setting you free from the strict dress codes she enforced upon you." I smirked, heading to the bathroom, "Towels are under the sink. Shampoo and other toiletries are in the cabinet over the toilet. Use as much hot water as you want, I have one of those fancy hot water tanks that heats consistently."

I placed my hands on my hips, trying to think of anything else I may have left out. "The phone is like the office one. Dial 7 to get outside line, and all the presets are programmed and labelled." I looked up at Bo, who appeared mildly dazed.

She looked around the room and settled on me, "Lauren, I can sleep on the couch. I mean this room is twice the size of my living room."

I nodded, smiling as I covered the space between us. My hands settling on her upper arms, "I want you to be comfortable. I want you to think of this as your home away from home. Because in time it will be your home." I met her eyes and lie all the times before, ours locked together with silence following close behind.

I had to break the stare this time, dropping my hands from her arms I went to leave the room, "Please feel free to explore the house and if you need anything." I paused and turned back to look at Bo, "I am just down the hall."

Bo nodded curtly and whispered a thank you. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. Placing my hand over my heart as it continued to pound. It only pounded like this when those dark chocolate eyes looked in mine. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly pushing off the door. I had to figure out what it was about Bo that made my heart want me to betray my sensibility like I had with Victoria all those years ago.

* * *

XXXXXXX

The room was huge and really was twice the size of my living room. I wasn't sure how long I stood in the middle of the room staring at the sheer size and richness it provided. I was partly staring to distract whatever it was I was feeling while Lauren went over the room. Her genuine smile that was only reserved for me plastered on her face as she pointed out the bathroom. It was harder as I could smell her shampoo mixed with the ocean air as she breezed past me a few times. Forcing me to clench my jaw.

I had to calm my heart and my mind when she left. My withdrawal wasn't not a factor in my fidgeting and my hand wringing, it was the blonde woman who was pushing feelings into my heart every minute I spent with her and every minute she told me something about her. The story about her professor was true, I could see it in her amber eyes when the memories of a young love was disclosed over pizza.

I pulled off my suit jacket, draping it over the back of the fancy wooden chair that had a matching desk. I wanted a shower from all the mild sweating I had done throughout the day. My detox was going better than it ever had. Lauren's herbal remedies seemed to be doing the trick or I was mentally willing my body to fight hard and not give the Senator any small clues for her to nitpick.

I walked to the closet as I stripped off the rest of my suit, running fingers over the three pairs of jeans, the button downs hanging in prefect synchronicity with each other and the small stack of soft t-shirts. They were brand new and in my perfect size. Lauren had expected at some point I would have to spend the night. I smirked, always prepared. I stopped. What if she had planned this, forced Rebecca to leave town for a few days so we could be alone.

I chewed on my bottom lip. The fact that Lauren had a relationship with my predecessor made me suspicious if she was attempting a re-do with me. I cringed, this had happened before. I got lost in the mystery and sensuality of my employer, the kindness I was shown. It all led me blindly until I made a mistake. I would have to be careful with Lauren, watch her closer. Yet, at the same time, nothing about the blonde woman triggered my gut feeling that everything she had done for me came with a hidden agenda. It all was done because she cared for me, making me want to let her in more. Tell her my own silly stories of first loves and college debacles. I groaned and shook my head, no. I couldn't. The last time I did such a thing with the one I was tasked with protecting, I lost everything.

I snatched up the pajamas and walked into the bathroom. Undressing completely I pulled off the band-aid while the shower warmed up. I leaned against the counter and stared at myself in the mirrors.

Taking note of how rough I had been living my life and not taking care of myself. I had to start eating more and drinking water. My body needed to be in top shape and I had to shake the shakes out of my hands before next weeks qualifications with the ever perfect Rebecca. I had to prove her wrong as well as my self rising doubts that I could keep Lauren safe. This was my second chance on many levels and I had to see it through this time or die trying.

* * *

Slipping into the soft bed I fell asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. It was as if I was encased in a cloud. Warm, soft and cool all at the same time. I fell into a listless and dreamless sleep and stayed like that until my body revolted in the middle of the night.

I barely made it to the bathroom and to the toilet before my stomach emptied the small amount of food and liquid I had taken in. The second day of my detox was always the worse.

I laid down on the cold granite tile of the bathroom when I was finally done. Welcoming the cold sharp feeling the tile sent through my head, easing the throbbing headache. I curled up into a ball, shivering but glad to shiver. I hated when my detox made my body hotter than a volcano like it had the last twenty-four hours. I was now on the downhill to home with the shivers.

Ten minutes later I pushed myself up off the floor, grabbed a blanket from the pile next to the bed and wrapped it around myself. I needed water and lots of it. I navigated quietly through the house trying my best not to wake up Lauren since it was a quarter after three in the morning.

In the kitchen I found the largest glass I could and poured ice-cold water from the fridge into it. Downing one full glass in a matter of seconds, it helped ease the cramps in my stomach. The second glass I took a little more slowly and moved to look out the window at the stars. I let my mind focus on the constellations I could see, trying to remember which ones were which. I tried distracting my stomach as I felt it begin to roll again. Unhappy that I had filled it with water when it was adamant on staying emptying for the duration.

I clenched my jaw and whispered, "Big dipper, little dipper, orions belt..." Until a strong cramp ripped through my stomach, causing me to drop the glass in my hand to grab at my stomach. I dropped to my knees at the same time the glass hit the tile and shattered like a cymbal in the symphony. I groaned and clutched at my stomach, leaning against the cabinets. Squeezing my eyes shut I took deep breaths trying to ease the cramp to release my stomach and me. I groaned through gritted teeth, "Fuck scotch."

I was so caught up in my misery I didn't hear her come into the kitchen. I only felt a warm hand on my forehead followed by frantic but soft whispers. I opened an eye and was face to face with Lauren looking over me with fear in her eyes. She was assessing me and calling my name.

"Bo, are you okay? What happened?"

I swallowed hard and went to push her away when another cramp rolled through. I groaned, "Stomach cramps. It always happens when I detox." I felt her hand run over my forehead and down the side of my face holding on to my cheek.

"We need to get you up and back to bed."

I tried to protest until I felt her strong but gentle grip pick me up so she could slide an arm around me. Lifting me up as if I was nothing, I leaned against Lauren. Not really caring to protest or resist her help. I was focused on the hell storm in my stomach. I walked with Lauren back up to the spare bedroom where she set me on the edge of the bed and looked in my eyes, "Tell me what you are feeling."

I bit my lip to hold in another groan, "I am freezing. My stomach feels like there are shards of glass being pushed into the sides." I waved a hand at her, "It's normal. It will go away in a few hours." I tried to smile but it was cut off by another tinge of pain.

Lauren stood up quickly and left the room. Coming back a short moment later with a large bottle of water and a few pill bottles. She set them on the bedside table and sat next to me on the bed. "You are severely dehydrated Bo, it happens when the alcohol begins to leave the system and the body is craving water or more scotch." She shook out two white pills into her hand, "Take these, it will help relax your stomach muscles."

I looked up at her and when I saw the pure concern in her eyes, it made my heart twinge. In a sad way. Lauren was worried about me and it rained from her eyes every second she looked at me. I grabbed the two pills and threw them into my mouth, swallowing them dry I leaned forward on my knees.

Another roll of cramps hit my stomach hard. Harder than ever before and I lost the little strength I had been holding on to. The tears were released with little fight from me, then the sobs came. I covered my face as I felt my body shake from the pain and the sobs. I was tired of this, tired of the back and forth I would put my body in.

I felt her arm wrap around my waist and pull me to her. I didn't fight and leaned into her chest. Sobbing as I heard her heart beat quickly. Lauren wrapped her arms around me in a side embrace, her hand running over my hair as she whispered soothing words I couldn't make out.

I took a deep breath, pushing my voice to be heard in between sobs, "Lauren why are you doing this for me? Why not just let me suffer in my mess and let me be." It was a question I had held in for the last few days. I wanted her to give up on me or see the mess I was like Rebecca, but every time I tried to get her to do so, she tried harder to show me I was of some worth. Small gestures of smiling at me or bringing me a glass of water. So small but meant so much to me since I had given up on the world in the last two years.

Lauren held me close, "It's not important right now, Bo. Just relax and keep breathing." It was her doctor voice, the one she had used on the couch when I fought her looking at my cut.

I pulled back from her embrace, shaking my head, "I am not important. Don't you see Lauren? I did this to myself and keep on doing it." I wiped at my face and turned quickly too look at her. "I did this to myself, all of it. I am a fuck up and I should suffer for it."

I went to stand up when I felt two warm hands latch on to the sides of my face. Pulling me to look in the eyes I really wanted to avoid. Our faces were inches away from each other. I could feel her body heat move around mine, chasing some of the shivers away.

"Bo, stop it. Stop saying that. You are important and you should not suffer for mistakes made. Because that's all they are, mistakes." Lauren held my face firmly, searching out my eyes until I looked into hers. I watched her swallow hard, "I am not going to give up on you no matter how hard you try to push me. I see something in you that I haven't seen in anyone else in a long time."

She reached up and brushed a tear away, "You have proven to me your worth and everyday I spend with you, you prove it more and more." She smiled and looked at me harder, "Aside from that, there is something about you I cannot ignore, Bo."

I watched as her eyes dropped to my lips and then back up to my eyes. My heart began to beat a little faster, "But why, Lauren. Why me." The air filled with tension, I knew what was about to happen and strangely enough, I wanted it to happen as my own eyes fell to her lips.

Lauren swallowed harder and moved closer, her head resting on my forehead as she whispered, "Why not you, Bo."

I moved closer to her. I could feel her breath as it floated across my lips. I reached up, my hand settling on her neck. My finger grazing her pulse, feeling how hard it was racing. I took a deep breath, I wanted to kiss her as much as I could feel she wanted to kiss me. I closed my eyes, moving closer until I felt my lips move across her soft bottom lip. Her breath catching slightly as she pulled away suddenly, breaking the minuscule contact, "You have a fever. I will grab a cold washcloth."

Lauren moved away from me, breaking all the physical contact we had and walking into the bathroom. Leaving me to swallow my heart down and the embarrassment of what I may have just misread. I leaned forward again, my head in my hands and let a few more tears out. Secretly glad she had stopped the kiss before it happened. I had made a promise years ago, that I would not do this again. No matter how drawn I was to the blonde and how my heart would always fight my mind in shutting down whatever it was I felt for Lauren. I had too, because I already knew as I sat on her bed with her hand reappearing on my back as a cold washcloth was pressed against the curve of my neck.

I already knew that I couldn't lose Lauren like I had lost him.


	8. Chapter 8

Bo's fever broke and she fell into a deep sleep. Her body was exhausted from the extreme and rapid shifts she was putting it through over the last week. I covered her in blankets and sat on the edge of the bed, staring out into the night the glass windows offered me. I waited until Bo seemed to be sleeping heavily and easily before collecting the wash cloths and bottles of water I had on the bed.

I walked quickly through the house, depositing the half dried wash cloths into the laundry, setting the empty glass in the dishwasher on my way to the second basement office I kept in the house. One that even Rebecca had limited access too.

I swiped my card, entered the room and waited for the click of the door to let me know it was locked with the only person with the only key locked inside. I let out the breath I had been holding, falling into the soft leather chair in front of my multiple monitor setup. I ran my hands over my face in a feeble attempt to rub away the feelings I had.

I almost kissed her, she almost kissed me.

What in the world was I doing?

I leaned back in my chair, staring up at the ceiling. My mind running over what just happened or almost happened in the bedroom. The want to kiss her came from nowhere. Maybe it was because she let me in as she cried in my arms, maybe it was the way she looked at me when she asked why her. I had held back the best I could until I felt her fingertips on my neck. So painfully soft across my pulse, that I would have let her do whatever she wanted in that moment. The brush of her lips over mine, the softness of them mildly intoxicating. God, how I wanted to close the last millimeter between us and kiss the woman.

Then the voice in the back of my logical head shouted at me, breaking the moment. Demanding answers for what I was doing. Was I taking advantage of Bo in her unguarded state? Even though it was a mutual move on our parts, it wasn't right. The last thing Bo needed was me to test out a theory or a hypothesis about the strange chemistry that hung in the air whenever we were near each other.

I rubbed my eyes, swinging my chair to my monitors; my hands acted out of habit. Moving fast fingers over the keyboard. I needed a distraction from my libido and my photographic memory replaying over and over the way her lips felt on mine. Reading boring emails and progress reports from the senate would kill any desire I had running in my veins.

Entering my secured system I sorted through personal emails that only I had access to. Somethings I still had to keep hidden from Rebecca and everyone else. That is why I had this second office constructed, one place where I could go and hide if I needed too since it was also a high-grade panic room and a place where I could work endlessly on my Criterion projects free from prying eyes. I clicked through lab reports and progress reports from the lab staff, when a request for video chat from Dr. Zehren blinked on one of my screens.

I clicked accept and smiled as the older man's face filled up the middle monitor. Dr. Zehren was almost twenty years older than I and looked like the typical Austrian doctor. Clean cut, no facial hair, and dark blue green eyes that reminded me of the water in Mediterranean Sea. More importantly than his angular good looks, Dr. Zehren was pristine to a fault just like his work. We both shared the same passions for medicine and became he one of my closest, most trusted friends and colleagues. I had met him when I was in my senior year at Princeton and was preparing for a run for local city council president. My father thought it would be a good idea to check out the charities the Lewis family supported and use that as a boost in my campaign. There I met Dr. Zehren and in that first meeting we began to work together on what would become our largest and most dangerous project to date.

I smiled at my old friend, "Good morning Doctor."

"Good morning Lauren. I took a chance you would be up late as usual." He raised an eyebrow at me, "Appears I am correct. Trouble sleeping?" his soft dulcet tones with the tinges of an Austrian accent floating through the computer speakers had an immediate calming effect on me. He sounded like Mr. Vontrapp in the Sound of Music, but much more Austrian.

I shook my head, "Not at all. You know my brain sometimes wants to work more than it wants sleep." I shifted in my seat, "How is Rebecca?"

Dr. Zehren sat back in his own chair and grabbed a chart and flipped through a few pages, "She is resting over at the other facility. We ran the tests and samples." His face dropped slightly when he looked back at me, "There is a small issue with her heart. Primarily in the main chamber, the left ventricle. The walls are thinning week by week. I have gone over the work a thousand times and I cannot figure out why her heart is reversing after all this time." Dr. Zehren paused, "I fear in a few months' time we will be back to where were in Paris."

"Can I look at the chart?" I asked quietly, not wanting to revisit that day.

Dr. Zehren nodded and clicked on his end. A large file appeared on the tablet on the desk in front of me. I swiped it open and Rebecca's entire chart was laid out for me to manipulate. "I called you as soon as I looked over the results and fooled with a few of my own ideas and theories."

I swiped through lab reports, EKG, MRI and CT scan results all showing me that there was a slight decrease in Rebecca's heart rate and production of pumps. I kept reading, "Blood tests show anything?"

"Only that there is small sloughing of proteins into the blood, telling me that the tissue itself is starting to die in microscopic quantities. Off into her blood and out of her system in time. I was lucky that my assistant noticed the high protein levels and how it wasn't proper since Rebecca has been on a strict diet for the last year until full stabilization of the organ."

I tapped on two different files, filling the screen with the genetic breakdown of Rebecca's old heart and the genetic and chemical composition of her new heart. I also brought up the 3D image of her last heart scan and began to pull the images apart like I would if I was in surgery a cutting into the organ in person. "What have you done Erich?" I asked as my mind focused on the puzzle pieces before me.

"I have run remapping sequences, run the regrowth simulator a handful of times with the notes you and I have compiled. I even tried to borrow some ideas from Emilana's success. Nothing seems to shout Eureka! at me Lauren."

I zoomed in on the main chamber of the floating digital heart in front of me. I could see the slight difference in the one wall. I double tapped and the chemical structure with the genetic code overlapped on the heart. My eyes darted over the layers, my fingers pulling the image to zoom in until I found something, anything different. Until I found a possible solution.

I looked up at Dr. Zehren, "Try comparing the new heart to the old one. I think if we increase the muscle regeneration on her weak side by tweaking the DNA strands and increasing her actin and myosin production it will help. I also think we can do another regrowth simulator with the small changes I just suggested and see what the results are. I have a feeling we just need to build a stronger bond."

I set the tablet down, "Monitor the regrowth simulator in the early stages, if anything we will rebuild her heart one more time." I leaned back in the chair, curling my legs up underneath me, "Keep me updated on her progress and keep her as long as you need until we have gotten a new path worked out." I took a deep breath, "I cannot understand why Emilana's lung worked and continues to work flawlessly and yet we used the same process as we did for Rebecca."

Dr. Zehren smiled, pulling off his stylish and thin glasses, "Because my dear girl, the lung is a simple organ whereas the heart. The heart is a living breathing, electrically charged wonder of its own." He stared at me, "That is why it is often the perpetrator of humanities woes."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Your philosophical outlook is encouraging, Erich." I folded my arms, "While I have you here, is there any other issues or needs you have? I return to the capital in a couple of weeks to start pushing for the restructuring of organ transplant waiting lists in hospitals. Among the new clean water act I want to get to legislature to prevent illegal bio-medical waste dumping." I rubbed at my arms under the hooded sweatshirt I had gone to bed in. I was still in my pajamas of an old Paco's Taco Joint t-shirt and baggy sweatpants.

Dr. Zehren looked around, obviously trying to think of something, "I need nothing in the political arena, Lauren. You have done well keeping prying eyes away from the deep depths of our work here." He took a slow breath, "However, there is one issue. We had another security breach a week ago. Ivan was able to trace the attempted hacker back to a CIA encrypted portal. He is currently investigating that further and in the meantime our databases are still safe." He put his glasses back on, "The email threats have increased in the last month, focusing on you and that your support of genetic research is unholy. I am beginning to get concerned that our enemies on both sides are inching closer, too close. I fear for your safety while Rebecca is with me, Lauren."

I smirked, "What has Rebecca told you about her replacement." I knew Rebecca would not and could not resist bending his ear about her unhappiness with my choice in hiring Bo.

Dr. Zehren smirked in return, "Without so many expletive words, she feels the woman cannot keep you safe." His dark blue green eyes honed in on mine, "And what do you say about this Ysabeau? Can we trust her in time and can I trust that she will keep my friend safe?"

I held his stare for a minute. Thinking about his question mixed with what had just almost happened in the bedroom. I swallowed, "She can and she will. Erich, I trust her with my life and I know she will do everything she can and has too to protect me." I said it firmly so as to not allude there was any hesitation that I trusted my life in Bo's hands. The only hesitation I felt was if I was beginning to let my heart fall into her hands along the way.

Dr. Zehren grinned, "Rebecca is jealous and as I look in your eyes, I can see why." He winked at me as I felt the blush creep up. He moved a few files, "Hopefully I can meet this new woman soon. With that I must be off. I want to get started on the new regrowth simulator and by the looks of it Lauren, you could use a nap. I will call you as soon as I have results." He winked at me one more time before ending the connection. Letting the middle monitor fall back to the nondescript desktop wallpaper.

I didn't hesitate in diving back into work. I did not want a moment to pass where my mind and thoughts could take over and return to analyzing the almost kiss and what D. Zehren had just commented on. Instead I poured over week long neglected Senate work until I either passed out or I forgot how soft the simplest touch of her lips was.

* * *

XXXXXXX

The bright white light piercing my eyelids like they weren't even closed, forced one eye open. Everything was white around me. I forced the other eye open and saw nothing but white. I kept looking until I saw a black blurred shape in the middle of the room. I blinked twice and the blur formed into a small penguin who stared at me like I knew I was staring at it. A penguin in the middle of a room. I thought for a split second if I had died and gone to heaven that my hundredth attempt at sobriety had broken me and I died on the floor of the kitchen.

For a moment, I felt excited at the idea I had surpassed a messy death and made it to the pearly gates with all of my past sins in tow. I wanted to smile, that is until I moved my head and the worst migraine I ever had begun throbbing behind my eyes. I wasn't in heaven; heaven wouldn't allow migraines past the pearly gates. The penguin quickly vanished with the realization I was still very much alive. I groaned as I covered my eyes to shield some of the light.

I rolled away from the source of the light, rolling myself up in the soft fluffy blankets like a log. At least I was in a comfortable bed. I pulled equally as soft and fluffy pillows over my head to drown more of the light and sound that was making my head pound harder. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying to whoever was left that would listen to come down and take me away or at least send the penguin back to get me some aspirin.

I buried myself deeper into the soft pillow top of the mattress, taking deep breaths of the clean linen smell when I had another realization. I don't own white sheets. White sheets that smelled this clean and were this soft for cotton sheets. My sheets were dark purple and were maybe twenty thread count. How did I get into this fancy cloud of a bed? Did I buy a new bed with the paycheck still stuffed in my underwear drawer?

That's when it sunk in through the haze of day three of my detox and the elephant sized headache I was now suffering through.

Shit, this isn't my bed. It's Lauren's. I forgotten I had spent the night in Lauren's spare bedroom.

I sat up quickly, grabbing my head in my hands to still the pounding as it increased with the sudden blood flow change. I looked at the bedside clock. The vintage big hand and little hand informing me that it was three thirty in the afternoon.

I leaned forward, elbows on my thighs, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I was once again late for work even as I slept in the spare bedroom of my employer's house; I still managed to be obscenely late for my third day of work. I got up and out of the bed, throwing warm blankets and the temptation to stay in them to the side. I moved as quickly as my headache would allow me to the closet. I grabbed the first pair of jeans and dark blue t-shirt my hands landed on and dressed.

The clothes fit perfectly. I wasn't surprised, I was picking up that the Senator had her own ways of making things all come together perfectly under her watch. I went to grab my dress shoes when I saw a brand new converse box on the floor in the closet. I pulled the box and saw the shoes were also my size. I smiled and flipped the lid to reveal brand new soft grey converse. I slipped them on and for a moment I felt like I was back in high school. Running around in gym class in my converse.

I pulled my hair back in a messy ponytail. I didn't want to waste any more time with a shower; I could take one in three hours when my work day would have normally ended. I grabbed my phone and before I went to run back downstairs I noticed a note from Lauren that had been tucked under the phone.

_-Bo._

_You needed your rest. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen you would like when you wake up._

_-Lauren_

Her handwriting was small and slanted, telling me a few things I already had an idea about the Senator. She preferred to work alone whenever possible and that she was focused with a propensity to think internally. I set the note down, cursing my handwriting analysis classes. I could never look at simple gone out for milk or grocery lists without picking apart the author scribble by scribble.

I pressed my fingers on to the note, I would have to think of something to say to Lauren when I found her. I could not keep letting her down by oversleeping through the Rebecca free training days. I knew I would learn more and faster from Lauren without the hovering of her ex.

I took a deep steadying breath and ran downstairs to the kitchen. Pouring myself a glass of the tea that was still in the pitcher, I began looking for something to eat. Bread to make toast, cereal or even pop tarts. My stomach was begging to be filled and I knew I could actually eat without throwing up now that I was nearing the end of my detox. I found a box of organic granola that looked like piles of hay and barley meant for horses or cows, not humans. I hesitated before dumping some of the feed into a bowl and topping it off with organic almond milk. Everything in the kitchen and fridge was organic, free range and supposedly good for you. Which I found humorous considering the two meals I had shared with Lauren were heavy, greasy and artery clogging. I shook my head, "The woman is an enigma in the true sense of the word."

I yawned and stretched, trying to shake away the rest of the fog from sleeping all day intertwined with the last few pounds of my migraine. I kept trying to remember when I went to sleep. The last thing I could remember was Lauren trying to barter me to stay with the promise of waffles. I rolled my shoulders to ease them; I hated my detox for the fact that I would sometimes get short memory gaps while my body went through extreme changes. That's why I had always done it a week before a job so I wouldn't forget things or places.

I went to put the cap back on the milk when I bumped it and spilled some. Reaching for paper towel I wiped up the white milk from the grey speckled granite and as I went to throw the paper towel out in the under sink trash can, I saw the glint of broken glass on top of the pizza stained napkins from last night. I pulled the trash can out to get a better look at the broken glass.

Squinting to see if there was blood or any fingerprints. I took one of the larger pieced from the top and held it to the light. That's when the memory shook loose, all of them. I dropped the large piece back into the trash can, "Oh shit."

I had to lean on the sink counter, my attention caught by a cardinal feeding at the wooden bird house hanging just over the window. The glass was mine. I had shattered it when my stomach cramps rammed through my body like a tank in Russia during World War 2. I began to breathe quicker, short little sighs as I started to remember Lauren helping me up to my bedroom. Then falling apart when the cramps and the dry heaves broke me. I fell into her strong, safe arms and asked her why she was still standing by me when I was obviously not interesting in helping myself.

My eyes shut, squeezing them tighter I began to feel the warmth from her hands and her body as she held me close. I hung my head down as the last part raced through my heart, carrying through the pulse racing in my neck and straight to the front of my mind. How could I have forgotten.

I almost kissed her. Our lips grazing but never making a full connection. I wanted it, and as I swallowed hard my heart down, I knew she had wanted it.

But she was the one who backed away.

I hung my head down, focusing on the drain in the sink. What was I doing? I had made a promise to myself to never repeat the mistakes I had made in the past. Especially if it came to work and any job I was on. I hadn't over the last couple of years. I stuck to my set in stone commitments even as some of the top celebrities literally threw themselves at me. A couple I had even wished I caught as they threw themselves willingly at me.

But I couldn't. I had made the mistake of letting my heart infiltrate the job and it ended up in a bloody mess and two deaths. I was trying my best to keep Lauren away from my heart, but she was doing a damn good job of worming her way in. Deeper and quicker than anyone else ever had in my life.

I turned to the bowl of now soggy cereal; I grabbed it and tossed it into the sink. Letting the water rinse away the flakes of granola into the black abyss of the drain I began to piece together why the strange feelings I had whenever the blonde Senator was in the room or near me felt so strange.

It was because I had never felt them before. Not from anyone I had ever had a relationship with man, woman, politician, fellow agent, my high school sweetheart and certainly not from the last one I thought I had given my heart too. They all never made my heart skip beats, race when our eyes met or twinge with the desire to know more about her than just as a boss.

I was falling for her and I couldn't. I couldn't let my heart get in the way of keeping her safe.

I shut the water off and debated finding Lauren or just leaving my own note to tell her I had gone home and would be back in the morning. I had to run from these feelings and her house, away from her until I could build a shield to keep us both safe.

I eventually decided on the sneaky exit and a note left on the fridge option. I knew it made me look like a one night stand gone bad, but I had to leave. I ran back upstairs; grabbing the suit I wore yesterday and hustled back to the sitting room. I dropped my briefcase and suit on the floor and went to dig in the side drawer where I knew there would be a large pad and pens.

When I rounded the corner of the couch, I was stopped mid step by what and who I saw asleep curled up into a ball.

Lauren was dead asleep on the grey boxy designer couch. Her head was propped up on the arm, her blonde hair covering half of her face. Keeping the slight blush of her cheeks hidden from view and her arms folded as she breathed heavily. She was in a deep sleep and not even the loud thunk of my briefcase hitting the wooden floor woke her up.

I paused, looking at the woman as she slept. Feeling regret that I had woken her up last night and kept her awake when I was in my tizzy of a state when I collapsed in the kitchen. I walked quietly to the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch and sat on the edge. Even in sweats and sleeping like a drunk after Mardi Gras, Lauren was beautiful. I clenched my jaw as the strange way she made my heart move when I looked at her harder like I was now. I was in trouble and that was the only thing I knew for certain.

I sat for a second, afraid to sit too long and have her wake up and have to confront many of the things I really didn't want too at this moment. I stood up, my jaw still clenched as I grabbed the blanket on the end of the couch. I shook it out, laying it over Lauren I couldn't resist reaching out and pushing some of the fallen hair out of the way. Exposing her pink, flushed cheeks that drew my eyes to her lips. Ones that I had been so close to kissing the night before.

I pulled my hand back close to my body and sighed, shaking my head. This was trouble.

I straightened up, opening the side table drawer, I picked up the pad and pen it held. I leaned over the coffee table to scribble out my note as fast as possible so I could make my escape.

"Bo, what are you doing?"

Even though her voice was barely above a whisper, it startled me. I turned and looked at Lauren, now awake and looking at me with tired eyes and a furrowed brow.

"I was leaving you a note." I held the pad up at an angle to provide solid evidence that was exactly the thing I was doing. The only thing I was doing.

Lauren shifted, sitting up on the couch she pushed her hair back, "I can see that. What time is it?" Her voice was still quiet but there was a hint of tired irritation behind the low volume.

I gritted my teeth, thankful the sitting room was vacant of a clock. I stared at the pad in my hand, "It's almost four. In the afternoon." I read over the three words I had managed to scrawl out on the pad as I waited for Lauren's response to the time. Preparing myself.

Lauren let out a sigh, leaning her against the back of the couch. I set the pad down and stood up in front of her, "I didn't want to wake you. You looked tired." What a half assed explanation that was.

Lauren smiled lightly, "I am tired. I have only been asleep for an hour." she took a deep breath and stood up from the couch and began to stretch.

I looked at her confused, "An hour? You mean an hour nap?"

Lauren shook her head as she dropped her arms, "I have been working all night. Barely made it to the couch when I came up to see how you were." She looked down at the floor as something flickered over her eyes but I didn't catch before she looked away. Lauren folded her arms, turning to walk towards the kitchen, "Are you intending to leave for the day Bo?" she nodded towards the pad on the coffee table. The tone of her voice was not one I had heard since Davey and I sat down for my interview. The Senator was definitely in the room. The feeling that voice gave me made me worried that I had slipped up for the last time.

"I, uh." I stumbled over my words, "I thought it might be a good idea to go home and check my mail." I grimaced at my stupid excuse.

Lauren nodded with her back turned and kept walking to the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes, the cold unbending walls of the Senator were also up. I had fucked up for sure, with oversleeping, detoxing in her house and trying to make a move on her when it now seemed it was a very unwelcomed one. I followed after her, sighing as I spilled the truth, "I was going to go home yes. I overslept again and when I saw that it was three thirty. I thought it would be best if I left and came back tomorrow." I watched the emotionless blonde open the fridge and grab last night's pizza and set it on the counter. "I'm sorry Lauren. I screwed up again."

Lauren pulled a plate from the cabinet, filling it with cold pizza she looked at me from the side, "You can go home if you would like Bo and be back at six a.m. tomorrow. Or you can stay here again tonight eat like you need too and we can go over the itinerary for the charity benefit in two weeks' time. Then call it an early night and start fresh tomorrow." Lauren looked in my eyes and I saw nothing but business behind them. A shift had definitely happened between us over the last sixteen or so hours. "We have a lot to cover in the next few days. At least if you are here in the house, I can assume you will be somewhat on time for work." IT was a plain statement with no real bite behind it, but it dug at me. She was acknowledging I had screwed up again and it was noted in her perfect genius mind forever.

I held her gaze trying to not show that her comment hit deep. Maybe this is what I needed. Her silent return to being a politician. One type I was used too in my time at the secret service and move away from the amazing woman who surprised me every minute I had been around her. I would use this shift to chase away the feelings now that I saw in her eyes that it was in the heat of the moment between us last night.

Nothing more.

I walked to the pizza box, picked up one slice and set it on the second plate Lauren had removed from the cabinet, "I will meet you downstairs in the office when you are ready. You can show me how to access the itinerary spreadsheet Rebecca showed me on the first day." I smiled tightly, taking my pizza and walking out of the kitchen. If back to business was what she wanted then that's what she would get from me.

* * *

Back to business was the theme over the next few days. I only stayed at the house because every night when we finished, Lauren would give me the option. Either stay or come back at a ridiculously early time. Meaning that I would have to be up at two in the morning to just make the three hour drive and be on time. I could tell it was a small way of punishing me or keeping tabs that I would not go home or to a bar and drink my life away again.

The days were filled with learning the ins and outs of being her assistant. Knowing whose faces where who's in the Senate, who were allies and who were friends. She filled me in on the charity benefit we would be attending right before the winter break was over. A simple cancer foundation benefit where Lauren was the guest of honor, receiving an award for her fund raising efforts. It would be a simple dog and pony show with a nice steak dinner.

After eight or nine hours of boring administrative work, Lauren would have dinner delivered to the house and when it would arrive. I would pay the delivery driver and she would take her meal and disappear into a part of the house I didn't dare follow her unless I was instructed too.

Gone was the easy and breezy way of the blonde on vacation. The Senator, my employer was in effect and I had to respect that. As much as I hoped she would eventually fire me, I did need this job and the money it gave me. I had begun to pick up on the new cues that were Senator Lewis. She would no longer look at me and smile with her eyes or offer more than the necessities. When she did look at me with her golden brown eyes, they only held determination for the task she was handing my way, and yet she still made my heart jump in the first few seconds her eyes made contact with mine. The feelings were still obviously there but were receding as the veil she was hiding behind dropped and I was being issued firm but gentle instructions of how to do my job properly.

I also noticed that Rebecca was not brought up or had to return to take over for Lauren. It had been almost six days since the small brunette berated me in the office at Pepperdine. I wanted to ask Lauren when my trainer would return, but there was never a moment to segue into casual non-work conversation.

Every day it would be the same. Work, lunch, back to work, dinner and disappear. Lauren to wherever it was she went too and I to the spare bedroom to sit and think too much while I flipped through the cable channels in bed.

Friday afternoon came and I had spent the after lunch hours responding to multiple boring Senate emails from citizen fans of the remarkable Senator Lewis. Asking for tours of her office, autographs and school visits during spirit week. I had kept looking at the clock on the computer, inching the minutes to hit six o'clock when I could shut the system down and go watch the reality show marathon I had planned for tonight.

Five to six the office door whispered open and Lauren shuffled in. Swiping through her phone she spoke without looking at me, "Bo thank you for getting caught up on the emails and forwarding me the new after break Senate schedule." She finally looked up at me, "It's Friday. You have the weekend off as per your contract since I have no special engagements." She folded her arms, "You are more than welcome to stay here or return home until Monday morning at 0730."

I raised my eyebrows at her, "Are we back on schedule?" I was shocked that it wasn't five am, six am or anything else as it had been over the last few days.

Lauren nodded, "Yes we are caught up on the administrative things. Monday we will begin going over the non-administrative side of things. Your firearm qualifications and I want to take you to a driving course to refresh your evasive driving tactics."

I stood up, shutting the computer down. I was eager to go home and relax. Being in her house over the last few days had been excruciatingly uptight since neither one of us wanted to talk about anything we needed too outside of the business at hand of Senate emails and being her assistant. "I will be here Monday morning and on time Senator." I smiled tightly and looked in her eyes. Hoping that anything would float pass her eyes to clue me in on something. Anything that I could open up the conversation I had been dying to have with her. I waited and nothing.

Finally I broke the tension, "I wanted to thank you for helping me out at the beginning of the week. My detoxes are rough and I usually do it alone in my house." I looked over at my briefcase and reached for it, "I hope that you know it won't happen again and I won't ever put you in a the position I did." I swallowed hard as I hefted the briefcase, "I also want to apologize if I overstepped my bounds the night I collapsed in the kitchen. I shouldn't have tried too…" I paused. Suddenly losing the language skills to say to her I shouldn't have tried to kiss you like I so badly wanted too. I took a slow breath, "Shouldn't have tried to ki…"

"Bo, you should get going before the traffic gets too heavy and you are stuck on the freeway for hours." Lauren's tone was even and lacked any emotion as she interrupted me.

But when I looked up from my hands wrapped around my briefcase handle and in her eyes. I saw the emotion flood back around the golden brown eyes. The Senator was gone and Lauren was standing in front of me. Her jaw clenched tight as she tried to hold back whatever it was my words were doing to her.

It hit me so hard in my heart I had to look away and back at my hands. The veil she had been hiding behind was just a veil. Hiding the same things I was trying to hide from her. I nodded at the floor, "Yea, you're right. I should leave." I brushed past her and as our arms made minimal contact from the walls forcing us together in the small office, I felt her body heat permeate me like I was tissue under a running faucet. The small hitch in her breath as our arms touched made me walk out of the office faster.

I ran up the stairs, grabbed my things and quick stepped it to my car. Starting the car I raced out of the driveway and away from the house as my heart pounded. There were feelings there, hard, nonnegotiable feelings on both of our parts. No matter how hard we both tried to hide them or stuff them away in the name of the job at hand, one genuine look from her. One brush of her arm against mine and everything would crumble like sandcastle walls against an incoming afternoon tide.

I gripped the steering wheel harder than ever before, pushing the radio volume control up to as loud as I could stand it. Letting Tchaikovsky's piano concerto no. #1 flood the car and help race me back to my home with every strong note of the music. Back to cheap dark purple sheets and rooms free of the worry Lauren would pop in them at any moment.


	9. Chapter 9

I moved from Bo's office to mine, opting to not leaving the safe confines of my basement office for the rest of the night. I locked the door and returned to work overload, pouring over Dr. Zehrens updates on Rebecca. The last regrowth formula I sent seemed to be holding strong through the new run of simulations.

In between waiting for simulations to run I sat in the chair and stared at a random spot on the desk, thinking of Bo and what was undeniable now. There was something between us that held in the air heavily, it was becoming a constant thing between the two of us. If we weren't discussing work or what was for dinner, the awkward tense pauses would come. Filling the air with painful silence. Why couldn't I just say something and ask her, lay it out on the table like I would a new bill to congress.

It had been hard keeping the brunette at a distance, changing my attitude towards her was harder. The last thing I wanted to do was be the Senator around Bo, but I had thrown up my Senator façade to keep her at arm's length since the morning after and I would continue to do so. I felt that my readings of her and what I saw in her eyes was completely wrong and had been. It was as if that was exactly what Bo wanted, a divide between personal and business where I had muddied them together over the last few days. As a result,I was more than grateful when she seemed eager to return to a business relationship.

So I did just that, returned to business. Every night I would grab my dinner and hide in the office until I was certain Bo was in the spare bedroom watching those silly reality shows she seemed to be horribly addicted too. I would then quietly go to my bedroom and lay in the dark, willing my heart to stop infiltrating my mind and try to convince me to go to the spare bedroom and talk to her. But I didn't. I sat until I started recite the periodic table from top to bottom, eventually passing out around hassium.

That way I could focus on work and away from staring at her dimple and how it would feel if I ever had the chance to run my thumb over it.

I leaned on the edge of my desk, rubbing at the bridge of my nose. Thinking back to right before Bo left for the day, taking the weekend off I gave her as excuse to not have to confront anything. Thinking back to when I interrupted Bo on purpose when she went to apologize for the almost kiss. Her apology was the last thing I wanted to hear.

I tucked away my notes and shut down the computer. The house was completely empty for the first time in as long as I could remember. The eery biting silence slightly was unnerving as I walked through the house to sit on the patio to watch the last few bits of day drift into night. I knew I was safe in the house with all the security systems and my personal protection in my bedside table, but the deafening silence gave the house a penitentiary feeling. I felt oddly trapped in the safety of the security and completely alone.

I sat in the large chair outside of my bedroom on the patio, curling up into the expanse of my large sweater. The view capturing my attention as it always did. I tried my hardest to empty out my mind of the day and Bo. I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. The ocean and the pale red rooftops would remind me of her and the story she told me about Italy.

The small bits she told me about Italy was something more than just a sad vacation story. I could tell Italy was where Bo was last her true self. The Bo before the world collapsed down on her and made her feel unworthy of being remembered or cared for. Bringing her to my doorstep like an unwanted puppy that wanted so much to be loved and loved in return. I shook my head and laughed, Bo was not a puppy. She was a fierce pit bull that could learn to love if shown the way.

I sat until dusk became dark, going to bed wondering how long would I be able to hold out not showing her how worthy and how much I did care for her.

* * *

Then next morning I left the silent house and walked along the beach for hours. I had received an early morning email from Dr. Zehren, informing me that Rebecca was in the third stage of the regrowth simulator and if all went well the first phase of repairing her heart would begin in a few more days. Rebecca herself emailed me, telling me that she would not be returning until a week after we were set to return to D.C. But not to hesitate to call her if she was needed.

I was worried about Rebecca but I was more worried about Bo. I had not heard from her since the moment that passed between us in the office. I started to have fears the woman would return to the bottle or spiral back down because I had shut her out. Pushing her away like so many had before me.

I took deep breaths of the ocean air as I walked back up to the house. I had spent most of the morning walking barefoot on the edges of the waning morning tide. Loving the feel of sand under my feet, the gentle push it gave me with every step. Making me smile at the metaphor it offered up, that mistakes could be erased with ease if you just let things go.

I had made the decision that I would take a trip out to Paco's and sit with him for a few hours. Eat a large lunch with a margarita. Maybe I could talk to Emilana and see how her health was and get a little more insight on how I could continue to help Rebecca.

I walked up the steps to the gravel driveway, heading to the mailbox when I saw the little red flag was down. I ran my hand over my wind-blown hair, pulling it into a half attempt of a ponytail. My smile returned at how good the sun felt on the gravel under my feet. I was honestly happiest this way and looking forward to the day that I could spend the rest of my days like this. Dressed down and barefoot.

At the mailbox I pulled a thick stack of letters and a few envelopes from the black steel box. Only my personal mail was forwarded to this address through the back channels Rebecca had set up years ago. No fan mail, no government mail and best of all, no junk mail.

I flipped through the envelopes, excited to see the one book I ordered from Germany had arrived. A vintage copy of Darwins Theory of Natural Selection. I tore open the edge and slid the book out of its thick manila transport. It was a book Dr. Zehren had suggested I pick up and read over. Giving me a better insight on how science and religion would always clash and that I should never take it personal when it was thrown my way.

Turning the book over so I could flip the pages I looked up to see a car roll past. Dragging my eyes with it I stopped on a black van parked under my neighbors massive oak tree. Doing it's best to be discreet but failing. None of my neighbors in this community drove a van. It was all strictly BMW's, Mercedes, Range Rovers and the delivery vans that came through were all bright white and always clearly marked who and what services they were providing.

I held the book up so I could look at the van closer and not make it suspicious. My sunglasses allowed me to scan the van easily in the bright early afternoon sun. The van did not fit the status quo of a government surveillance vehicle, it was far too dirty and dented to be government issued.

The windows had a dark tint but not dark enough for to hide from me that there were two people sitting in the front seat trying to hide behind that were at least three days old by the bold front page headlines. As I watched them through the guise of getting lost in the book in my hands, their eyes would dart every other second to stare at me then dart back to the newspapers. I continued to scan over the vehicle, noting the large wooden cross dangling with a Jesus saves cardboard air freshener from the rear view mirror. Moving to the front license plate I memorized the license plate number that was out of California and by the number letter sequencing I was able to place the vehicles origins from west Hollywood. This van did not belong in the slightest.

I tucked the book back into the stack of mail and turned. Sliding the pile under my arm I pulled my cellphone out and sent a text to Davey asking him to run the license plate number included discreetly and quickly.

I had a feeling who the gawkers in the van were. I had been threatened by an extremist group that found my work in science unholy and that I was defying the true nature of humanity in the eyes of the lord. I knew after the incident at Pepperdine I would face more threats or visitors. I just didn't expect it so soon or when I was so alone.

Inside the house I tossed the mail on to the grey couch in the sitting room and ran upstairs. I immediately went to the closet grabbing my boots and leather jacket. Throwing both on I heard my phone beep. Davey had run the plate and it came back to a small organic grocery store in west Hollywood. The registered owner was linked to the extremist group with a lengthy rap sheet for domestic terrorism threats. He also had a taste for hiring ex-cons for so-called side work. The two men in the van looked like they were fresh from San Quentin.

Davey texted me back asking if I had Bo or Rebecca with me, that he was concerned because of some of the chatter he had heard through his network since the Pepperdine incident.

I texted him back telling him I was more than safe. I dropped the phone in my pocket and reached for my P99. Tucking it in my waistband I grabbed the car keys to the Cadillac.

The only idea I had in my head at the moment was to leave the house and drive to where I knew I would be safe. Bo's house.

As I pulled the Cadillac to the edge of the driveway I spotted the van still sitting where I had left it. I could hear the van start up through the small crack in the passenger side window. I turned right and navigated my way out of the winding roads of my exclusive neighborhood.

Reaching the freeway entrance ramp I thought I had been mistaken and overreacting until I saw the van come into view. Three car lengths back and rushing in a poor show of trying to follow me without being noticed. I swallowed hard as I began to grow nervous. I pulled the gun out of my waistband and set it in the cup holder in the middle console, reaching for my phone I dialed Bo.

I had no idea why my gut was telling me to go to her and not to Davey who was closer. Yes she was my bodyguard and yes it was stupid of me to allow her to go home for the weekend without having someone closer in cases like this. I blew out a slow breath as the phone kept ringing.

I gripped the steering wheel tighter as I pushed on the accelerator to try to get a little more distance on the van. Bo wasn't answering. I glanced at the clock in the car. It was twelve thirty. Chances were she was still asleep or she had fallen back on old habits. The phone dropped to her voicemail.

I kept glancing at the rearview mirror as I left a message, "Bo, Please if you get this message, call me back. I am on the way to you. I have a van following me that has sat in front of my house all morning." I tried to keep the nerves out of my voice, but was failing, "I am on the freeway now. I will be at your house in the next hour." I hung up and dropped the phone next to my gun.

I wished she had picked up. Just so I could hear her voice to steady me and tell me everything would be okay like that day in Pepperdine. I held on to the steering wheel tighter as I forced the Cadillac through the lunch hour rush. At a lull in the drive, stuck at a standstill I used the rear camera system to take clear images of the two men in the van. Sending their images Davey for facial recognition. Ten minutes later he sent the results to my email. The men following me were both wanted by the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security for domestic threats. They were also tied to the attack at Pepperdine.

They were after me. No doubt about it now. Especially when Davey called, leaving me a voicemail that he was getting worried since he had tried to call Bo and she didn't answer. I ignored his calls and tried Bo again, texting her as well, my fear growing by the second.

* * *

XXXX

I couldn't stop thinking about the woman. The whole ride back to my house, I kept thinking about the way her eyes shifted when I tried to apologize for trying to take advantage of her. When she cut me off it was as if she didn't want me to apologize for it. That it was the last thing she wanted to hear. I sat in my clean house the rest of the night, watching my recorded shows from the last week. Eating popcorn, chips, miniature doughnuts and whatever junk food I could find to curb my need to find out how soft the Senators lips really were. Next week I would have to break down and force her to talk, find a common ground before my feelings for her ate further into my resolve and my heart. If I couldn't get her to talk I would have to think about quitting or do my best to get Rebecca to talk Lauren into firing me.

I couldn't repeat my past mistakes. Not ever again and especially not with Lauren.

I fell asleep in the middle of my reality show marathon when the blondes on the television began to take the shape and image of one frustrating blonde Senator.

* * *

The next morning I sat in my backyard. Reading a book from my neglected collection, a collection that I had been ambitious at one point in reading all the way through. Then I became ambitious about the bottle. I sat in my Adirondack chair in old paint splattered jeans and baggy button down to cover up the tight white tank top I was wearing. I held the open book in my lap and stared at the small shed on the edge of my backyard. I was bored out of my mind and had nothing to do. I watched all of my recordings and had eaten all of the junk food with no motivation to go to the grocery store just yet to replenish my emotional eating stock.

I was not used to days off where I didn't have anything to do but drink. But drinking was not an option in my life anymore. I had left my phone inside so I would not be tempted to call up old friends, old drinking friends. Or be tempted to call the Senator and make up some excuse to come back to the house. I didn't like that she was home alone without protection. I would have even liked it if her ex had magically repaired from her strange trip to Geneva and staked her claim on the blonde. As long as she was safe, that was all that mattered. It also didn't help that I did miss the woman.

I sat in the chair for a few hours, my fingers holding the same place in the book I had read over and over. Finally I gave up and conjured up the energy to go grocery shopping and stop to find some movies to rent to take up my night off.

I walked into my bedroom, grabbing my purse and my phone when the blinking light told me I had missed calls. Swiping the screen I chewed on my lip when I saw that Lauren had called a few times in the last hour. That wasn't what made me swallow hard, it was the emails and texts from Davey. He thought I was still with her. Protecting her. Lauren was in danger and I was nowhere near her.

The frantic tone in Lauren's voice as I listened to her voicemail made me angry. Angry that I hadn't stuck with her like I needed too. Instead I let my heart do the talking. Take the easy exit of a weekend off she offered me. After reading the emails and realizing that the two idiots following her had intentions of taking her for ransom or worse, I acted.

I called Lauren back. Pacing around the room as the phone rang.

* * *

XXXXXX

Near Bo's exit, she finally returned my call. I rushed to grab the phone and almost dropped it as my fingers tried to swipe to answer. I had to take a breath to calm down before speaking.

"Bo."

"Lauren, are you okay? What's going on?" Bo's voice was steady and determined. The first sound of her voice, wrapped around my heart and instantly eased some of the fear.

I looked in the mirror, the van was one car length behind me. I could now clearly see the faces of the two men in the front. They both were focused on my car and every little move I made. I wasn't paying attention to Bo until the third time she said my name.

I swallowed hard, "I am coming to your house. The van is still following me. I think they are going to do something but I don't want to give them the chance too."

Bo cut me off, "Davey forwarded the email. I didn't call him back, he assumes I am with you." I heard her sigh, "Like I should be."

"I gave you the weekend off Bo." I turned down a side street three blocks away from Bo's house.

"But I should not ever leave you alone." Bo's tone was touched with anger, anger more at herself for taking the weekend I offered up without hesitation. "Where are you, and how close are they too you."

"I am three blocks away and they are on top of me. Tailgating at it's worse." I tried to smile at my own little joke but it did little to cut the tension screaming through my body.

I could hear the snap of the black plastic case in the background followed by the click of a magazine being pushed into a gun. "Lauren, I need you to pay attention. When you get to my house I want you to pull into the driveway. The two assholes following you are probably going to try to rush you, grab you and attempt a kidnapping. I read over the files Davey sent. It seems that is their M.O. Grab and run."

I cringed as my eyes locked on the van behind me as we sat at a stop light. I pushed the phone against my head, hoping that somehow it would bring me closer to Bo.

"When you are in the driveway I will be waiting. Try to run to the house as fast as you can Lauren. I will take care of them. I have a friend on his way over to help us." Bo was calm, just like she was before she charged a man with a backpack full of explosives.

I nodded to no one, "Okay Bo." I looked at the gun in the cup holder, "Did you call the police?"

"I did. They are going to be sending undercover units as soon as they can. Unfortunately there was a bank robbery four blocks over. They are going to be delayed." Bo's voice was tinged with irritation, "Somehow I think a Senator being threatened would take precedence."

I smiled lightly at the simple words, "You will do fine Bo." I looked up and saw the sign for her street, "I'm pulling in now."

I heard Bo take a deep breath, "Remember, run as fast as you can Lauren. I will keep you safe."

I sighed hard as I saw the edges of Bo's house come around the corner, I slowed down and went to pull into the driveway. The van close on my bumper. The adrenaline began to race through my veins, "I know you will, Bo." I hung up the phone and traded it for my gun. Sliding it in to my waistband as I put the car in park.

I took a deep calming breath and reached for the door handle, watching the two men in the van do the same. It was now or never.

* * *

xxxx

I no longer had the resources of the Secret Service and I couldn't call on Davey since it was clear Lauren had told him I was with her. I had to make do and figure out a makeshift plan of attack. The only person I knew close by and could trust with some brute force was Tito. He was all I had after I called the police and informed them of the situation. They in turn told me that they were too busy on other manners and suggest I call the Secret Service, but they would send units out as soon as possible when they were available.

Tito easily agreed to help me when I told him the cops were being useless. He closed down the liquor store and grabbed his giant baseball bat. I knew Tito had an extensive gang history in his youth that sent him on the wrong path until his grandmother took him under wing and set him on the right path of selling booze to the drunks in the city. Tito grinned at me when he pulled up in front of my house, "Man it has been a while since I beat the hell out of some shitbags. At least this time I am doing it for my country." Tito laughed and winked at me as I dragged him inside to give him the details of the plan. We had to do this without inciting a gun fight. I did not want to risk my neighbors unless all options were exhausted. Brute force, quick brute force was what had to be done.

I pushed my phone into my back pocket after hanging up with Lauren. Gripping tighter on the gun on my hip. I had a perfect view of my driveway as Lauren pulled the Cadillac into it. The black van pulled to the edge of the driveway and I took a few deep breaths. Glancing over to where I saw Tito sitting in his old Monte Carlo that sat in front of my house. The two idiots in the van would be caught by surprise as soon as they tried to lay one finger on Lauren.

I hovered around the tree as I watched Lauren step out of the Cadillac, scan around looking for me before she closed the door and began walking to the front door. I gritted my teeth and tried to hiss at her, "No, run. Run Lauren."

She didn't listen. She took slow steps that I knew were out of fear. Lauren was frozen and acting on the minimal output of being overwhelmed with fear and adrenaline. I stared at her, cringing. Wanting to run to her, scoop her up and keep her safe. I broke from her when I heard the van doors slam shut and voices yell at her.

"Hey Senator Lewis, you need to come with us." The two men were shitbags in the true sense of the word. Thugs for hire. Whether or not they believed in the agenda of the extremist group or not, the money was enough for them to go after the woman on my front yard who I would give anything to keep from them.

Lauren didn't stop or look back at them, she kept moving towards the door. The yelling grew louder and they rushed towards her when they saw Lauren's right hand reach back to the gun she had tucked in her waistband.

I didn't waste anymore time. I signaled Tito and ran out from my hiding spot just as one of the men rushed Lauren. Throwing her to the ground to try to restrain her. She began yelling and squirming, struggling to reach for her gun.

Tito slammed his car into reverse, driving it hard with squealing tires into the front end of the van. Boxing the van in between his car and the massive metal light pole that sat on the edge of my driveway. The sound of metal against metal broke one of the men free of Lauren and after Tito. I left him to deal with my six foot three, three hundred pound friend. My focus was on the man on top of Lauren. Watching as he yanked her head up by the hair.

My tunnel vision kicked in as I ran at him. There was nothing else but him as my target and that if he let go of the left hand he was raising to hit her across the face, he would not have hands to wipe his ass with when I was done.

Lauren yelped as her head was lifted up higher, the man on top of her yelling that she would pay for her sins against the lord. The sound of her in pain kicked me into overdrive.

I side tackled the man, pushing him completely off of Lauren and sliding us both into the side of the Cadillac. Which I found to be armored as much as my Lincoln when we hit it and there was no give in the metal. The contact pushed grunts from the both of us.

I was the first to my feet, turning around to see Lauren trying to push herself up. Her eyebrow bleeding where she had hit the ground when she was overtaken. I wanted to run to her. I had to fight my instinct to go to her and turn back to my first priority. Disabling her attacker.

The man pushed up the side of the Cadillac and charged at me. I was ready for him and threw an angle kick to his stomach, removing the last bits of air from his body he collapsed to his knees. Allowing me a perfect setup to lay a hard right hook across his face. Shattering his nose. The man's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he crumpled to the ground like a rag doll. I took deep breaths looking at the blood pouring from his broken nose. He would never look the same.

I shook my right hand, trying to shake the tingle out when I heard Tito.

"Yo B! What do you want me to do with this asshole?"

I turned to Tito, he had a huge smile on his face. He was holding up the second man, bloodied and battered to a point of nonrecognition. Tito's baseball bat held the evidence that the man had become close friends with it over the last few minutes. I smiled and then looked down at Lauren. She was sitting on her heels and wiping at her eyebrow. Looking at the blood on her fingers she drew her eyes slowly up to me.

What I saw made the smile drop and I ran to her. Dropping to my knees and grabbing her face with my hands. "Hey you're okay. It's just a scratch. Come on, let's get you up and in the house." I tried to smile at her when all I wanted to do was wrap her up in my arms and tell her it was okay to cry. The look in her eyes was breaking my heart. I shouldn't have let the men lay one hand on her.

Lauren nodded and took my arms to help get her up. She leaned on to me as we both began to hear the sirens of the delayed back up I had called for. It seemed that now was convenient for them. I held on to Lauren, looking back at Tito, "Just sit on them until the cops arrive and do the rest."

I walked Lauren into the house and into my bedroom. Sitting her on my bed, I knelt in front of her. "I will talk to them. I already gave them a heads up of what to expect." I found her hand with mine, winding my fingers into hers to settle her down, "I will be back and then we will go home."

I watched Lauren look at our hands together. She squeezed tightly and nodded. I stood up, still holding on to her hand, "One more thing, I won't be taking anymore weekends off." Lauren looked up at me with glassy eyes, "I am not going to leave you ever again Lauren. I promise."

Lauren clenched her jaw and nodded, "I need to use the bathroom, to take a look at my eyebrow." She stood up, puling her hand free from mine and walked into the bathroom. Closing the door slowly behind her.

I hesitated. I wanted to go in the bathroom and sit with her. Clean her up like she did for me and hold her. My heart began to race harder even as the adrenaline left me. It was racing because of her and the feelings I felt for her that I no longer wanted to hide. The Senator was becoming important too me and I wanted and needed her to know. What exactly what my feelings were, I wouldn't know until I let them out.

I took a step towards the bathroom, ready to push the door open and confess the things she made me feel and the things I felt for her. That even though it had only been a week, she made me feel more than I ever had before in my life, more than anyone else had ever been able to make me feel.

My hand grazed the door handle to the bathroom when I heard the distinct hard knock of a police officer at my door. I dropped my hand and walked to the front door, opening it to reveal the blustery face of a detective. He yanked off his cheesy cop sunglasses and stared at me, "Ms. Dennis could you step outside and fill me in on what took place here?"

I nodded, "I can. But will you send my friend in here to keep an eye on the Senator until I am done?"

The detective gave me a dirty look, "I can provide you with a few of my best officers, Ms. Dennis."

I smiled tightly and looked past him to Tito, sitting on the edge of his car wiping his baseball bat off. "I would rather have Tito." I then made direct contact with the detective, "He at least showed up when I called him." I waved at Tito to come in the house. He ran to me as best a man his size could, gently pushing the detective out of the way.

"What's up B." Tito was out of breath from the short jog.

I grabbed his elbow and pointed to the bathroom, "Lauren is in there. Can you keep an eye on her until I am all done with the lovely detective here?"

Tito grinned and saluted me, "Anything for you B." He shoved past us and took seat in my leather chair, facing the bathroom door.

I turned back to the detective, holding my hand out, "Shall we?"

The detective huffed and took the lead, walking us both over to the ambulance were two very broken kidnappers were strapped down and being treated.

* * *

XXXXXX

I sat on the edge of the bathtub holding tissue against my eyebrow as I dug in the first aid kit for gauze. I could feel the cut was just a small laceration and would not need stitches. I didn't even remember hitting the ground when the men grabbed me. I only felt the sudden shift of weight off of me and the sound of bodies hitting the hard side panels of the Cadillac. I gasped at the flashback and the sounds of Bo grunting as she hit the car. Then the look in her eyes when she turned and saw me sitting on the ground, dazed. Bo wanted to run to me but fought her instinct to follow through on her training and disable the man she had saved me from. I ran my hand through my hair, pulling out pieces of grass and leaves. Once again Bo put herself between me and the danger, risking herself.

Rebecca would have done the opposite, run to me and put me in the car before the threat was completely eliminated. Whisk me off to safety. That's where her and Bo differed. Bo was as Paco said, like fire. A fire that would swarm around the ones she protected. Burn bright and fast until there was no threat left.

I wiped at the blood, standing up to turn the sink on. I glanced in the mirror and had to look away, I was still on an emotional high and on the verge of crying if I looked at myself too long. That's why I left Bo to hide in the bathroom, I didn't want her to see me cry. I had almost fallen apart the moment her fingers linked in mine, making my heart ache to have her pull me into her arms. I was fighting everything to stay calm. I would cry in private in my bedroom, not here in the bathroom of my bodyguard that I was afraid to keep close.

I turned on the water, wetting a washcloth so I could wipe the dirt off my face along with the drying blood. I wiped gently at my cut and quickly covered it with a small piece of gauze. I would have to do a better cleaning back at my house.

I shut the water off. Clutching to the dirty washcloth I walked out of the bathroom and came face to face to a massive man sitting in Bo's leather chair, smiling at me. The same massive man who slammed his car into the front end of the van. He was part of my rescue team and I could see in the way he smiled at me, he was set in the chair to watch me.

"Hi, I'm Tito. B is outside with the cops. She told me to sit with you." The tree of a man stood up, "Did you need anything Senator?" He was putting on his best manners and it brought a smile to my face.

I shook my head at him and moved to the couch, "I am fine, thank you Tito." I sat on the edge of the couch. Tito returned to his spot. We sat in silence until the front door opened and Bo walked back in.

Her eyes met mine instantly as she spoke, "All set Tito. The cops are leaving. I will be heading back to Malibu with Lauren in a few minutes." I looked away from her, staring at the bloodied washcloth crumpled up in my hands. I suddenly wanted to go home.

I tuned Tito and Bo out as they went over how Bo would make sure Tito was reimbursed for his car, trying hard to keep myself together. The front door opened and closed, I still didn't look up from my hands.

I didn't move or look up until I felt the couch shift next to me and the graze of Bo's leg against mine. Her hands covered mine, gently pulling the washcloth from my hands. I cringed, "There's blood on it, I didn't know where to put it." I shivered at the feel of her hands on mine.

"Lauren, it's okay." Her voice was soft and comforting. I heard her take a breath, "Are you okay?"

I nodded quickly, "It's just a scrape. I will be fine." I wouldn't look at her.

Bo sighed, "I am going to grab my bag and then we can head back to Malibu. We can take the Cadillac. Davey will be sending someone tomorrow to pick up the Lincoln and drive it back to the house. I told him that I've driven you around since the day you came to pick me up. I haven't told him anything else." She stood up from the couch, letting cool air replace where her leg had sat against mine.

"Bo he will eventually figure out that you weren't with me when you told him you were." I glanced at Bo, her back was to me as she moved to her bedroom.

She turned to me, smiling as her eyes met mine. Sending a jolt to my heart.

"I know, but it will at least give us a couple of days free of his lecturing." She shrugged and disappeared into her bedroom where I heard drawers opening and closing. Clothes being dropped into a duffel bag.

A few minutes later Bo came back out, setting her bag down by the door she pulled on her jacket. "If you're ready I am."

I stood up slowly. It was clear that I didn't want to talk about what just happened and Bo was not going to push until I was ready. She was maintaining her agent façade to keep me calm. It was helping but at the same time I wanted her to say something, anything that would ease the tension in my heart and mind.

I dug in my pocket, holding out the car keys to her. "Will you drive?"

Bo took the keys, "Of course I will."

Our eyes met as our fingers grazed around the car keys. Bo dropped her gaze to our hands, slowly pulling hers away and grabbing her bag. She opened the front door and held it for me. I was grateful that the police had cleaned everything up and there was no signs of what had occurred on the front lawn.

I folded my arms tightly and went to the Cadillac. Sitting in the passenger seat I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the cold glass. I swallowed hard when I heard Bo get into the car and start it. Changing the radio station to one of her classical stations, she began to back out of the driveway. I could feel her looking at me and went to say something when she spoke first, "Get some rest Lauren. I will wake you when we get to the house."

I went to look at her when I felt her hand on my arm, squeezing it gently. I pushed my eyes closed tighter as I felt the first tear slip out. I nodded and shifted further into my seat so Bo would not see the tears falling.

* * *

Xxxxx

Lauren fell asleep twenty minutes into the drive back. She was holding back everything and I didn't want to push. I had to wait for her to break the dam and spill out the things she wanted to ask about the incident on the lawn. She wouldn't look at me and I knew that to be another one of her tells. It was her way of keeping her emotions in check. Even with Rebecca she would avoid eye contact when she wanted to maintain control over the situation, especially if it was an emotional one.

I kept glancing at her as I drove the Cadillac back to Malibu. Worried that she was in shock and that she was ignoring it for the sake of staying strong in front of me.

I had taken care of the possible fallout from the incident. Telling the detective to keep the situation under wraps until the Senator was ready to issue a statement if at all. I had sent the emails from Davey to the FBI and the Secret Service to update them on the continuing threat on Lauren. I also informed that the situation was handled appropriately and that Lauren would continue to maintain her privacy and private security measures until she decided otherwise.

When the two shitbags were loaded up in the ambulance, the detective was instructed to take them to the local FBI office for formal charges and interviews. Lauren would be left alone until at least middle of next week when the two were picked apart and their motives and employers were revealed.

All that was left was to get the blonde home safely.

It was late afternoon when I drove the Cadillac into the driveway. I shut the car off, leaning over to Lauren I brushed some of the hair away from her face, whispering, "We are home, Lauren."

She woke up as my fingers grazed her cheek. I went to pull my hand away when she grabbed it, gently. Pulling it down to her lap. Squeezing it tightly she said nothing. Only opening the door and stepping out of the car. Letting her hand fall from mine as she stood outside, folding her arms tightly against her chest.

I took a breath and followed her. Walking a few steps behind her as she entered the house. She didn't look at me, only speaking over her shoulder in my direction, "I am going to take a shower."

I nodded, "I will be in the spare bedroom if you need me."

Lauren nodded and walked up the stairs to her bedroom.

In the spare bedroom I unpacked my bag, setting my gun on the bedside table I moved to the bathroom. Peeling off my dusty clothes, I stood in front of the mirror. Looking over the new bruises beginning to form on my body. Purple tints were beginning to form around the length of my shoulder. I rotated my arm and cringed at the tightness, I would have to keep an eye on it.

Under the hot water I thought about Lauren. Her silence and if she was really okay. I wanted to check on her but decided as I shut the water off and wrapped myself in a towel, I would wait until she had slept a bit. Sleep off the rest of the adrenaline and exhaustion I knew she was carrying.

I sat on the edge of the bed in an older pair of linen pajama pants and an old Purdue shirt I slept in constantly. It was only six in the evening but it felt like later. I was hungry and the headache forming begged me to eat. I was finally through my withdrawal completely and my appetite had returned ten fold. For the first time in a long time I was actually excited that I had an appetite.

Shuffling down to the kitchen I dug around, finding the leftover Thai food from Friday's lunch. Dumping the food into a bowl I shoved it into the microwave and leaned against the edge of the counter. Thinking about what happened on the lawn. It was a habit of mine from my days in the Secret Service. I would spend hours reviewing incidents, picking apart what went right and what could be improved upon the next time. The difference this time was I kept going back to the look in Lauren's eyes. The fear that radiated through them which then lead me to think of why she came to me instead of staying at her house.

Why leave the perfect fortress to come to me? To risk herself when she could have easily sat in the house until Monday when I came back. I would have to ask Lauren when the time was right. I furrowed my brow trying to figure it out when the microwave dinged. I removed the steaming bowl of leftovers and moved to go back upstairs and settle in for another night of binge watching.

As I reached the top of the stairs, I walked past Lauren's bedroom door. I thought nothing of it, focusing on spinning hot noodles around my fork, when I heard something fall and Lauren yell softly.

I paused and craned my neck towards her door. Trying to listen harder.

I heard something else fall and then what sounded like sobs mixed with more curse words.

I set the bowl of noodles down on a table between my room and hers. Turning to her door I gripped the door knob, knocking as I opened the door, "Lauren, are you okay?"

I found Lauren sitting on the floor. Knees to her chest, hands covering her face as she sobbed. Her hair was wet and hung limply around her shoulders, she was wearing her usual baggy sweater and a pair of sleep shorts that gave me a view of slender long legs that literally made me catch my breath at the sheer sight of them. I had to shake my head and look away and at the mess Lauren was sitting were books scattered around her with a broken glass next to her. The sight made my heart break. I closed the door and walked to her. I crouched down next to her and reached for her arm.

"Lauren." I kept my voice low and calm.

I startled her when my fingers brushed against her arm. She pushed back from me and stood up quickly, trying to wipe away the tears. "Bo, what are doing in here?" Her voice was raspy but firm. It was obvious I had entered an area of the house I was unwelcome in.

I straightened up and folded my arms, I was caught off guard by her tone. "I heard something fall. I wanted to check on you."

Lauren held her head down, avoiding looking in my eyes, "You should knock first." The Senator voice had returned.

I half smiled, "I did. I don't think you heard me." I turned to leave. The Senator was back in the room and it was clear that I should leave Lauren. "It looks like you have everything under control, I will go back to my leftovers and reruns." I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice, but couldn't. This woman was a giant game of push pull with me.

"I appreciate your concern Bo, but I would like to be alone now."

I shook my head, the Senator was laying it on thick. I laughed lightly and turned to leave her room, but paused after two steps. I turned back to Lauren as she was picking up the pieces of glass from her plush white carpet, "I just have one question. Why on earth did you choose to leave the most secure house I have ever been in to drive down to me while being followed by a couple of nutbags? Drive to me of all places when it made more sense to just stay here." I stared hard at Lauren, watching her stop picking at the glass. My tone was less than friendly, seemed fair. If the Senator was going to be in the room so would the bodyguard who wanted to question the thought process of her employer.

She looked at me in the eyes. I watched her jaw clench as her eyes glossed over, taking a trembling breath, "I didn't know what else to do. The only thing I could think of was to come to you, Bo." She blinked and a tear escaped. She smiled as she wiped at the tears, "You make me feel safe." it came out a whisper. Lauren set the pieces of glass on the small bookshelf next to her, she closed her eyes, "You make me feel a lot of things Bo."

It was as if all the air was sucked out of the room in just a handful of inconsequential words strung together to make a sentence that pressed on my heart.

* * *

XXXXX

I couldn't hold it together anymore. I was upset at Bo for supposedly barging into my room as I sat in the mess of books I had knocked from the shelf when I dropped the glass of water in my hands. The glass shattering mutely on to the floor shattered the grip I had on my emotions. I let everything out and let my body cry like it needed too.

She had scared me when I felt her hand on mine, and I retreated as fast as I could back into my safe façade. But it didn't last long, when I looked in her eyes and saw the way she looked at me as she asked why I decided to come to her instead of staying. I gave up. I gave up holding back.

"You make me feel a lot of things Bo." I stood in the middle of the room and opened my eyes to find them moving to sit directly on to her dark chocolate brown eyes. Staring at me if I had just pulled all the oxygen from the room. I smiled tightly, "I don't know exactly what it is about you, but you make me feel safe. Safer than a fortified safe room that even the President wished he had in the oval office." I took a step towards her, "I came to you because it was what my gut told me to do. Go to the safest place I knew, to the one person I knew would do everything they had to keep me safe. And you did, you put yourself in front of me and risked your life to keep me alive. Twice now." I took a deep breath, "Everytime I look in your eyes all I see and feel is how much I want to be around you, to be as close as I can to you." I held her gaze, Bo's face was blank and showed no emotion, so I kept on.

"You make me not want to be the Senator and yet I retreat back into that persona when you get to close. Because I have never met anyone like you Bo and even though you have only been in my life for less than two weeks, I can't imagine what it would be like if you weren't around." I tugged at the sleeves of my sweater, "No one has ever made me feel like you do in just the simplest looks or the errant graze of our hands as we both reach for a pen." I laughed lightly and looked away from the brown eyes that were not giving me any clue that my words had any effect. I took another deep breath, "I interrupted your apology yesterday because I didn't want you to apologize for almost kissing me when it's all I have wanted to do for the last few days and regret not doing that night."

I swallowed and met her eyes again, I wanted her to see the truth as I said the last bit I had left, "I am falling for you Bo. Every minute I am around you, I am falling faster into something that is more frightening than any threat against my life. Because it's my heart that you have seemed to have captured quicker than anyone I have ever met. And for the first time in my life, I am willing to let it go and seek out its own path with you."

After a moment of awkward silence and no response from Bo, I shrugged. Becoming defeated that Bo was still standing in front of me emotionless, "I guess we can call this a clean slate. That everything I said stays in this room and once we both leave we return to business as usual and not look back."

I dropped my eyes from her and back to the shards of glass I still had to pick up, "Thank you for checking on me. I will see you in the morning." I started sliding into the Senator again. Slowly pushing the walls up I knew I would need when I was around Bo after this night.

I went to kneel and start picking up the mess, "You can leave the door open when you leave."

Before I could bend my knees in the slightest bit, I felt the air around me move. Forcing me to look up as two hands slid across my cheeks and jaw line. I heard Bo whisper my name right before her lips met mine in force. I felt her hands slide from my jaw and to the back of my head, tangling up in my hair as she pulled me closer into the kiss.

It took me a second to realize I was being kissed. Only a second before my hands found the edges of her jaw and I held on to her as I returned the intense kiss. It was a kiss full of built up tension, desire and passion. Her lips were incredibly soft even as they were mashed against my own, fighting for more from me. I opened my mouth when I felt her teeth graze and nip on my bottom lip, pulling a sound from me that I never knew I could make. When her tongue met mine, I dropped my hands from her face, moving them to her sides and wrapping my arms around her to pull her even closer to me. I smiled against her mouth as I bit her top lip lightly, making her pull away as she moaned against my mouth. God this woman could kiss and I silently cursed myself for backing away the first time our lips met, if only briefly.

We were both breathless as we parted. Only leaning back far enough so we could look in each others eyes. Bo ran a hand over my cheek, "I feel the same about you Lauren, I am falling for you just as hard. I have no idea what will happen next but all I know is I couldn't stand another day of business as usual with the Senator." She smiled wide, the dimple finally showing its face. I couldn't resist, leaning forward and kissing the dimple. Hearing Bo sigh I closed my eyes and pulled her into my arms. Her heart beating as hard as mine was, making me hold her tighter.

Bo held me tightly as she whispered next to my ear, "At the same time I am afraid I will lose you like I lost him." She suddenly leaned out of my arms and took a step back, looking deep in my eyes with tears about to fall. "That's why I don't know if I can do this."


	10. Chapter 10

I stepped back, moving further away from Lauren. I couldn't resist when she told me how she felt. I couldn't let her think going back to business as usual was what I really wanted. I had to kiss her before her eyes completely shifted from Lauren to the Senator.

What a kiss it was, she took my breath away when she returned the kiss. Pulling our bodies so close together she forced a gasp from my body, letting a soft moan fall against her lips. The sound of our breaths meshed with her body radiating heat and desire, pushing the intense feeling into every inch of my bare skin that came in contact with hers. It literally made me weak in the knees knowing that it was all because of me. I had lost myself in Lauren and Lauren alone for a few moments as the kiss heightened. A bomb could have gone off next to us and I would have not heard it or reacted, then reality slowly began to fall through the haze of how her lips felt against mine. The fear filling the void left by the passion I had just exacted on the blonde.

I was falling for the woman but I was petrified that mistakes were going to be repeated. I ran a hand over my hair, looking anywhere but her, "I am sorry." What I was apologizing for I didn't know, it just felt like I should apologize. I turned to leave the room; wiping my cheeks cringing at how wet they were from my tears.

Lauren called after me quietly, "I am not the Ambassador. You won't lose me, I promise."

I choked on a nervous laugh. It was obvious she never read the full report on the Montreal incident; she only knew what the rumor mills generated over the last few years and still stuck too. I looked at Lauren, "Neither was he." I closed my eyes as the tears rolled down my face like tiny rivers. I tried wiping them away faster than they were falling. I turned back to the door, seeking my exit.

I couldn't do this again. I felt more for Lauren than I did him and it made me panic that history would repeat itself. I had to leave this room. I had to get away from the woman and the unrelenting desire to return to her arms and hold her. The kiss was our first and last kiss, it had to be.

I only got an inch away before I felt her hand on my shoulder, "Bo wait." I could hear in her voice the surprise at what I just said.

I kept walking until Lauren squeezed gently on the edges of the massive bruise that would cover my arm from shoulder to elbow by morning. I flinched and ripped away from her grip. "God dammit." I rubbed at my shoulder, clenching my jaw as I felt around the arm. It had swollen immensely in the last few hours.

I felt Lauren come up behind me, her hand settling on my elbow, "Bo are you hurt?"

I shook my head, wanting to leave the room. The last thing I wanted was her fussing over me anymore. Her other hand came up; pushing the sleeve of my shirt up to reveal what my body couldn't hide like my lies would try too. I felt Lauren's fingers draw softly over the growing bruise, "This needs ice."

She dropped her hand from my elbow and brushed past me, rushing down the stairs. I took the chance to leave her room and went to mine.

Sitting on the edge of the small coffee table in the sitting area I held my head in my hands. My head was spinning over what I had to do next. The options ran through my head. I could quit the moment Rebecca came home and disappear, or I could suck it up and take the offer Lauren had given when I stood shocked watching her pour her heart out to me. Let the things said and done in her room, stay in that room and never speak of it again.

I laughed lightly, there was no way I could forget her words, the way she looked at me and that kiss. I would never be able to overcome the feelings I had for the blonde Senator now. I was falling for her and it was like falling down a canyon and grasping at handfuls of loose dirt to stop myself. No one had ever spoken such words to me, not the way Lauren laid them out for me. Tear filled eyes and resigning to the fact that her heart was out of her control and there was no reason to fight it anymore. Sure, I had been told I was loved and unreasonable love was professed my way more than a handful of times. But never did it take my breath away like she did, not even when he told me that first day of our trip to Italy.

I fell on to my side on the bed. She was nothing like him. My eyes began to well up as I sighed, folding my arms tightly against my chest. She was so much more.

I didn't hear Lauren come into my room, just her soft voice asking me to sit up as she sat on the edge of the bed. Gently holding on to my arm to help me up. I wouldn't look at her as she pressed the freezer bag full of ice on my growing bruise. Making me flinch at the sting of cold on very angry, swollen skin.

Her other hand settled on the middle of my back, making me shiver more than the coolness of the ice.

There was awkward silence filling the room, obvious that neither of us knew what to say.

Lauren took a deep breath and looked at me. I could feel her eyes bore into the side of my head. "Who was he Bo." The question came out slow and purposeful, void of any accusations or demands of needing to know who was the one who kept me trapped in the past. Kept my heart locked up in a cage.

I stood from the bed, wanting to break the contact I had with the blonde. I walked to the patio doors and stood looking out over the dipping hills. I pressed my hand against the clear glass as my eyes drifted over the trees and the dark clouds starting to roll in with a late evening thunderstorm. Chasing away the last beautiful minutes of a perfect sunny day.

I heard Lauren shift behind me, the ice clinking together in thick sounds mixing with the ever infamous slosh of water in a plastic bag. I left my sleeve rolled up; enjoying the goose bumps the room temperature air brought up over my chilled skin.

My eyes settled on a large puffy grey cloud, shooting lightning out of its base in the distance. It was a metaphor for my life. The dark clouds encroaching once again on the small rays of sun I had let in.

I took a slow steadying breath, "He wasn't Ambassador Williams. That is nothing but a rumor I have let be one for the last few years. It was always assumed I was having an affair with the Ambassador because of our close friendship that started the first day I was assigned to his detail. A detail that was just supposed to be a test run to bridge the communication gap between the Secret Service and other foreign protection agencies." I furrowed my brow, watching lighting spiral down to the ground in clusters. "I met Callum on my second day assigned to Robert's detail. Callum was his younger brother and his press secretary."

I chewed on the inside of my lip, trying to hold back the wave of nausea that came with thinking about him too much. Nausea of sadness, hurt and ultimate failure on a multitude of levels. Failure to do my job and failure to know when I had lost my heart in the worst way imaginable. "Callum was quieter than his older brother but equally as charming and handsome. We had spent a lot of time together from day one, going over itineraries and schedules. Coordinating trips and meetings."

I clenched my jaw, gritting teeth as more memories resurfaced. The way he smelled in the morning over the fresh ink from the first newspaper of the day his brother always wanted with his morning tea. The crooked grin he would throw my way before leaving a room. All little things that once made my heart flutter but now twisted my stomach into steel wire knots. I ran my fingers over my temple, trying to ease the pressure of an oncoming headache.

"Needless to say, things blossomed between us, quickly. I had thought it was love at first sight. His blue eyes had caught my breath the moment he looked in mine." I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the glass. Callum was a typical English gentleman. Dark black hair and blue eyes the color of the deepest ocean. He had strong royal jawlines and was tall. Tall, dark and handsome were the three best descriptors for him, and I was smitten that first day I met him.

Callums face would always be burned into my memory, especially that last day I saw him.

I opened my eyes, catching the storm moving closer, "For six months it was everything you could imagine reading in a fairytale. I was in love and falling deeper every day." I rolled my head to look at Lauren, "But like most fairytales, there is always something that throws a wrench in the works. Puts a stain on the perfect ending." I swallowed down the tears and the rise of wanting to run out of the room and away from having to once again explain my past. I was leaving large portions of my relationship with Callum to the secret file I kept deep down inside. I had my fair share of truth telling in the few months after Montreal where my life was ripped apart during the debriefing and the following investigations. I could no longer stomach talking about any of it for longer than a few minutes without falling apart or falling into a bottle of scotch.

Lauren was looking at me with sad eyes. Whether it was sadness for the story I was half telling or for something else, I couldn't tell. "I let the world think what it wanted because I didn't want to keep telling the truth after a while. I let the truth be sealed up into white envelopes for no one to see for the rest of my life." I cringed, "I thought it was gone and done, sealed away in a dusty basement until you handed it back over to me." I let out a breath, I was still not ready to go over that day in Montreal or what actually took place the hours before I fucked up. As much as I wanted to tell Lauren about my life, past and present. I knew when Montreal was revealed to her, she would cast me to the side just like everyone else had. Two people did die that day, but I have suffered a slow death every day since. If only I had been a few minutes faster, it would have been me and not Robert bleeding out on the street.

I pushed off from the glass, turning to face Lauren. "He is not you, I know that. Because I feel so much more for you than I ever did for Callum." I clenched my jaw tighter, feeling my jaw muscles strain. I blinked back more tears, "Lauren, the last time I gave someone my heart they died. I can't do that again, not for my sake. I couldn't bear to lose you because of my mistakes that I am afraid I will make again. Especially when I have to keep you safe."

I held her eyes for a few minutes. Watching the gold tints around her iris sparkle with the fading light. Callum never looked at me like Lauren did, like she was now. I dropped my gaze to the floor, absently placing my hand over my heart. He never made my heart beat like she did either. "That's why I don't think I can do this." it came out a whisper more for me than her.

I heard the bag of melting ice and water move, set on to the bedside table. I went to look up and was met with Lauren's hands pulling at my folded arms. Silently asking me to let go of the tight grip I had on my midsection.

"Bo, look at me." Her hand found the edge of my jaw and pushed it up gently so I would look at her. I had to fight from looking away from her when our eyes met. "I have a million logical reasons why this is a bad idea. My own past mistakes too. But just because we both now know where we stand, doesn't mean that tomorrow we wake up and fall into a private little bubble of whatever." Her hand slid up to press against my cheek, "All I know is what my heart is telling me. Telling me that the only person I ever want to be around you is me, to let you in and continue to find the strength I do every time I look into your eyes."

Lauren brushed some hair from my face, tucking loose strands behind my ear, "I am not Callum, no. I know that. I won't push for you to let me in until you are ready. But don't shut me out Bo, don't give up on whatever this is between us because of the fear you won't be able to keep me safe." Her hands moved to hold my face with both hands, "Because you will keep me safe and I will keep you safe." She reached up tracing a finger over my forehead, "In here." She then moved her hand down to press against my racing heart, "And in here. With everything I have."

When I looked in her golden brown eyes, I saw nothing but the purest truth.

* * *

XXXXX

The way her heart pounded under my hand would always tell me the truth even when she was doing her best to hide it. The ways she seemed to involuntarily push up against my hand to encourage more contact between us told me more. I dropped my hand from her before I grabbed her and kissed her again. Something about Bo made me want to act on instincts I had pushed to the side when I stopped chasing Victoria all those years ago. Instincts of pure need and a desire to be so close to someone who you could not resist from touching them as often as possible. Something I sacrificed when I decided to follow the path I was on now.

Bo was staring in my eyes, swallowing hard and I could see the emotions flow across her eyes. She was always in a constant struggle. After hearing about Callum, I understood why. I was also making things that more complicated for her. I stepped back from Bo as the first roll of thunder hit close. The thunder acting as a cue that this moment had come to a head.

I smiled at her, "We both should probably get some rest. It's been a full day." I turned, walking to the bag of ice water, "I will get you another bag of ice. Try to keep it on as long as you can stand it. The swelling needs to be reduced or you will have a stiff arm in the morning."

The tension between us was still thick. But again what did you do when you confessed having feelings for your bodyguard and she returned them? Start dating? Propose instant marriage? I was certainly not ready to fall into bed with her even when my libido suggested it would be a good idea. I only had met the woman less than two weeks ago. And yet it felt like I had known and waited a lifetime for her.

I closed my fingers around the chilled plastic bag, letting the cold shock my system back into clear thoughts.

"Leave it Lauren. I will get a new one. I need to reheat my noodles anyways." Bo's voice was quiet and riddled with exhaustion. We both had emptied our emotions out like an overflowing sink.

Just then the thick staccato of the rain hitting the window filled the silence we were building. The thunderstorm had arrived. I turned and looked at the windows. The wind was blowing the rain sideways with the trees. Lightning lit up the room where the black clouds had darkened it. Bo was also looking at the storm, her arms again folded tight against her chest.

I clutched the bag of ice, "The button by your bed will lower the shades, and it will cut most of the lighting out if you want to sleep." The awkwardness had returned. Here I was, a feared Senator in the strongest political arena in the world and yet I had no idea how to talk to a girl.

Bo kept her gaze on the storm, shaking her head, "Naw. Storms always seem to calm me down. A good storm makes everything appear clean and new when it's over." Her voice had quieted even more, telling me she was losing herself in thoughts once again.

I nodded, "If you need anything. I will be in my bedroom for the night." I hesitated, hoping she would ask me to stay or change her mind about letting me look at her shoulder. Anything to just be with her for a few minutes longer.

Bo murmured a thank you, now standing closer to the window while the storm raged on.

I quickly returned to my room, dumping the ice water in the sink and tossing the bag. I cleaned up the rest of the glass and books I had left on the floor. A roll of thunder and crack of lighting hit the house so hard it felt like lighting had made contact with the roof. It startled me and threatened to shake loose more of the emotions to spill out. I hustled to my bedside table, smashing the shade button to shut out the storm.

I didn't mind rain, lightning or thunder separately, but together in a storm like the one blowing around the house. It mildly terrified me. All because of one summer in Connecticut when I watched a tornado tear through the small town below the hill the family estate sat on. Leaving an indelible mark on my psyche. I climbed into the bed the minute the shades shut out the sight and most of the sound of the storm.

I smashed a pillow under me, clutching it as I shivered from the chill in the room. The reality of what had happened between Bo and I began to sink in. Sink in around my heart that told me that I was in trouble and more far gone for the woman than I knew.

I had never been in love in my life. Puppy love, teacher crushes and physical lust. All those I had experienced, but love. Love escaped me by choice. I pulled the blankets up closer around me, thinking back on those in my life. Trying to compare the feelings I felt for Bo to the others. If I was actually falling in love with her or if it was some muddied sexual tension that could eventually be worked out by ignoring each other or having a one night stand. I groaned at my stupid over thinking mind.

I had no intentions of telling Bo my feelings like I did, but she irritated me when she wanted an explanation for my truly stupid move of leaving the safety of this house and risking my life along with hers. I pulled a pillow over my head, it was stupid of me and Bo was hurt because of me.

It was so much easier with Rebecca.

Rebecca was the only long term relationship I had ever managed successfully. I had dated others over the years, but my ambition overwhelmed a wish to build a normal life. I had goals and none of them included a picket fence or pets until I had finished the work I started right when I met Rebecca.

She understood my drive and the public eye and that's why our relationship worked. She accepted the strange silent terms I held over her. I loved Rebecca but was far from ever being in love with her. Maybe that's why the disconnect was so easy for me when the time came.

Then I met Bo. The physical attraction was immediate from the moment her brown eyes met mine and then the way I felt like I could shed the Senator walls when I was around her. Yes, it was because she was hired to be my bodyguard and personal assistant, but then it grew. It grew until it became a feeling that lingered in the pit of my stomach even after she was gone. It also didn't help when I caught Bo more than once looking at me like she did. That's why I eventually threw up the Senator walls because I never wanted Bo to think that I was trying to find a replacement for Rebecca in every aspect. I just couldn't control my feelings or understand them, only knowing that when I was around Bo I felt safe. Something I hadn't felt in the last few years. I also had the sinking feeling that I would fall in love with Bo so deeply I would not know how to keep holding back.

I took a deep breath under the fluffy cover of my pillows. I didn't know what the morning would bring. Bo was still healing from Callum and the ghost of Montreal. I had to tread lightly with her feelings and not push her emotional walls until they really did shatter. It broke my heart to know Bo was so afraid to let her heart go because she feared the next one to have it would share a similar fate as Callum.

I finally closed my eyes, my mind racing all over the map of things I felt and what I should do about them. I had to resort to reciting the periodic table to take my thoughts away. I fell asleep at Iron as the storm raged on outside and inside.

* * *

The soft sound of my bedroom door creaking closed, woke me up from a dreamless deep sleep. I then heard the floor creak in the spot my bed. The only spot in the room where there was a weakness in the floor, making a squeak noise when some was walking towards my bed.

Instinct and fear kicked. I reached out from under my blankets, wrapping my hand around the butt of the P99 I had set there days ago. I had a break in once, five years ago and what happened that night left me with a heightened awareness even as I slept. The other side of the bed moved in a way telling me there was someone crawling on to the bed.

I went to roll over and face the intruder when I heard in a soft raspy voice, "Lauren, put the gun down. It's me."

Bo's voice made me relax my grip on the gun and move my hand to the light switch. The light filled the room with a soft ambient light. Bo was sitting on the other side of the bed, wrapped up in a blanket. Her hair was messy from rolling around and she was half asleep.

I sat up, noticing the way she was gingerly holding her arm. I tried to hold back from rushing to help her. Bo noticed and before I could say anything she shook her head, "My arm hurts like a bitch but I can move it. Nothing a few aspirin won't take care of." She looked down at the end of the bed, "I think I broke the air conditioning in my room when I tried to turn it down. It's freezing in my room and it's making me dream about penguins." Bo grimaced when she sat against the headboard, her shoulder obviously still bothering her. "Why do you sleep with a gun by the bed? I thought that's why you hired me."

I looked at her confused about the penguin comment before answering, "I have slept with a gun by the bed for the last five years, ever since the last time someone crept in to my bed without me knowing." I turned away from Bo before she could ask her own question. The last break in I had been an incident I had almost forgotten, but constantly was reminded about when I would look at the gun in the drawer or on the table top.

I went to throw back the blankets and get out of the bed, "The system on that side of the house has acted up lately It is supposed to be predicting the temperature based on the settings I calibrated it too since you have stayed here. It should be picking up your body heat and adjusting the output based on that." I stood up; pulling on the sweater I had tossed to the end of the bed and went to walk to her room. Irritated that HVAC program had malfunctioned on that side of the house when I had spent two hours the other night setting it up perfectly for Bo to be comfortable in her room.

I looked over my shoulder at Bo who was staring at me blankly as most who knew how I had the entire house functions programmed from the one computer in my office, I smiled at the look on her face, Wait here, I will see if I can fix it."

The second step into her room I was freezing, no wonder she was dreaming of penguins. I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands and went to the thermostat. I pushed the program button and found that it had been overridden in the last half hour. That the room had been purposely turned into an icebox. I bit my bottom lip as the smirk grew. I hit the reset button and the system returned to normal. Shutting off the cold air that had flowed from the vents.

I walked back to my bedroom, "Bo, it's all set. I have the heat running to bring it back up to where it was when you went to sleep. It will shut off when everything has normalized." I looked up to find the brunette passed out under the blankets, her head smashed deep into the mountain of soft pillows I kept.

I let out a sigh and couldn't help smile at the sight. I walked over to my side of the bed. Grabbing the other blanket I had on the end of the bed. I would let her have the bed and I would sleep in the chair facing the windows. As I bent to pull the blankets closer around Bo, I felt a hand on mine followed by the raspy voice I was getting attached too, "Where are you going?"

"To sleep in the chair. You can stay here as long as you want or until your room gets comfortable again." I looked in the sleepy brown eyes. I could easily read through her broken air conditioning excuse and see that she had a bad dream or something that had disturbed her sleep.

Bo held on to my hand, squeezing lightly. She didn't have to say anything, I knew why she was in my bed. She didn't want to be alone. I nodded and pulled the blankets back, sliding back into my spot and rolling on to my side. I could feel her body heat as it warmed the bed and me thoroughly.

I sighed and adjusted the pillow under my head and shut off the light. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart. I felt the bed shift again, Bo was pressed her body up against me ever so slightly.

I heard her mumble against her pillow, "I lied about the air conditioning. I just don't want to be alone right now." The sound of her voice told me she wasn't here for anything more than just to be close to someone.

I whispered back, "I know Bo."

A few minutes later I fell back asleep listening to her breath.

* * *

XXXXXXX

The penguins were begging me to dive in with them again. It was like the dream never stopped when I woke up from the first one. Panicked as I saw Callums face float by me in the water as I was about to jump into the cold water. Seeing his face is what startled me awake and made me go to her. The penguins woke me up again after falling asleep in the new bed I was in. Now I was half awake, staring at the blonde next to me as she slept peacefully. For once I was waking up next to someone knowing exactly how I got here.

I had hoped to maybe just talk to her after she "fixed" the air in my room. Talk out the panic I had in me and maybe talk until the memories I had brought back to the surface would go back under. But then I sat in her bed. Still warm from her body and smelled like the ocean and her shampoo. I couldn't resist laying down under the blankets. I fell asleep instantly comforted by all the things that were Lauren.

When she came back and told me she was opting to sleep in the chair so I would be comfortable I felt guilty for my dumb childish move. I probably could have come in the room and asked her right out to keep me company. I was a highly trained former federal agent and yet Lauren made me feel like my first high school crush all over again.

I wanted her to stay with me, just so I could be close to her. But I had no idea how to ask her without feeling like a creep. Then once again she read right through me when I looked at her trying to find the words to say it. She smiled and soon I fell asleep listening to her breathing and how it made me feel like I was home.

I had fallen into a deep sleep and managed to press my body up against Lauren with my arm somehow finding its way through the night to fall across her stomach and hold her. I didn't care too much since I was so tired and my arm that was draped over her really did hurt like a bitch. So much so I didn't want to move it.

I went to shift position when the vibration of Lauren's phone on the bedside table woke her up. She grabbed the phone, rolling away from me slightly.

I took the opportunity to pull my arm back before she realized it was there. But then she rolled on to her back as she answered the phone. Her free hand dropping to mine on her stomach, holding it there. Surrounding my hand with the warmth of hers. It reminded me of that first day she grabbed my hand at he university, how it calmed me then like it was now. She looked at me with sleepy eyes and smiled, answering the call.

"Good Morning Dr. Zehren." Lauren's morning voice was soft and just a hint of rasp that came from a deep sleep. I barely heard the other person on the phone issue a curt greeting before speaking rapidly.

I watched as Lauren's smile dropped, her jaw tightening. "When did the breach happen and how long until Metro police call about the break in?"

I heard more murmuring from what sounded like a male on the other line. Lauren moved her hand from mine and ran it over her hair. Closing her eyes she let out a sigh of irritation, "Tell Ivan to go through protocol D. Even though it wasn't a full breach of the firewall I want to double check, triple check that none of our files were compromised. Then we need to start initiating his remote IP program again." Lauren swung her legs out the bed and leaned on her elbows, "The break in at my house happened fifteen minutes ago? The alarm system alerted you first as it was programmed to do, right?" She paused, "Have Ivan run through those as well."

Lauren stood up, walking to the giant windows. Pushing back one of the shades to reveal that the new day was left sunny and bright by last night's storm.

I sat up in the bed, smoothing out my hair. I kept listening to Lauren on the phone.

"No, No. We don't need to send anyone to D.C. I have contacts in the police department I trust. The Secret Service will be all over the scene in a matter of moments. All I need is Ivan to secure the Criterion files. The rest is unimportant." Lauren glanced at me and then back to the window, "No, tell Rebecca to stay there until she is better."

Hearing Rebecca's name threw me back into reality. I tossed the blankets back and pushed out of the bed. Things were far beyond complicated and I had complicated them further by creeping into Lauren's bed last night.

I shuffled out of her room, trying to roll out my arm and the stiffness that had settled overnight.

Back in my room I snatched my phone from the coffee table I had left it on and went to the bathroom to look at my arm and check my phone. I clicked the on button and the screen lit up telling me that I had fifty five emails, ten text messages, two voicemails and three missed calls from Davey. He had just called in the last five minutes.

I hit the voicemail button cradling the phone between my good shoulder and my ear as I pushed up my sleeve to show the black and deep purple bruise that covered most of my shoulder. I cringed, pushing lightly around the bruise. There would be no sleeveless tops in my near future.

Daveys voice filled my ear while I dug around in the first aid kit for an instant ice pack, "Hey Bo, I am sure you are aware that Lauren's townhouse in D.C. was broken into. My contacts just let me know, I will forward you the info they gave me and give you a heads up that the Secret Service will be all over this one." Davey paused, "Meaning you will be hearing from some familiar faces. Carlton is taking lead, he has no idea where you are working."

I groaned and sat on the edge of the tub. Half listening to the rest of Davey's message. I wasn't about to panic that Lauren's house was broken into. She was safe and it was bound to happen now that she was on an extremist groups shit list. But then John Carlton was another story.

I set the phone down next to me, crushing the ice pack and shaking it up. John Carlton was the Agent who lead the investigation into Montreal until he was pulled by a presidential order and the investigation was shifted to classified. Carlton hated me from the moment we met at my first orientation for Senate detail. A traditional no women should be agents type of agent, he rode my ass any chance he got. It was worse when he was assigned to the investigation, trying to find everything he could to bury me deeper than I had myself. Part of the reason why I was forced into leaving was because I would not give the piece of shit anything and told him to fuck off more than once in tears. Last I had heard, Carlton had been pushed back to the home office, humping a desk.

Carlton would shit pure bricks when he found out I was Senator Lewis's new assistant.

I shook my head, leaning against the shower wall to hold the ice pack against my shoulder. I picked the phone up and sifted through the emails.

After the third email inviting Lauren to a charity ball next week that she had already RSVP too, I noticed that some of the emails I received were not from the usual sources of enamored fans or Senate interns. A handful of them were from a different email address out of the Criterion Centre and had titles like regrowth test four, DNA breakdown for project M, and one titled the Lewis formula.

All the emails had attachments and when I clicked on one small paperclip, a huge file opened up on my phone of a set of lungs. The lungs rotated on the screen and began to regenerate sections of each lobe, arrows jotting out and rolling with DNA sequencing.

I scanned over the file and picked up key words I remembered from science classes and watching science fiction movies, but the rest was gibberish to my simple mind. Whatever it was, it was complex and grown in the mind of a genius.

I clicked on another file that was marked with Lewis formula and scanned it. There was a small paragraph telling me that this was the newest formula for the latest Criterion project created by Dr. Lauren Lewis, MD, PHD. I looked up from the phone; Lauren had told me she never really became a doctor. Only going through the schooling but never putting it to practical use. But here I was looking at a formula created by a double doctorate holder. I searched my mind, only reading that she had gotten her doctorate in research medicine but she had tossed it to the side to pursue politics. Not the piece of complex medical breakthrough I was scrolling through. I pushed against the ice on the shower wall, wincing at the cold pain it brought, it had to be Lauren doing this work or she had a clone out there I didn't know about. I scanned further, squinting at the words to hopefully make sense of them.

All I could gather was that somehow this formula was a genetic growth program utilizing the existing DNA of a patient. I kept reading the file, struggling to make sense of the advanced scientific dialogue. I wasn't dumb by any means but this was language well above my pay grade. All of the files in every email I opened was signed off by Lauren. The familiar scrawl of her signature that burned into my memory that first day I saw it when she had authorized my sedan to be towed. But instead of just Lauren Lewis, she was signing things, Dr. Lauren Lewis. I was slowly getting a suspicious feeling that Lauren was leaving more out about the Criterion Centre and just being a Senator. I took a deep breath and try to fight the gut feeling brewing. She was lying to me.

I heard Lauren come into the room, calling after me.

"In the bathroom." I yelled back, never tearing my eyes from the phone.

Lauren pushed the door open, smiling, "Hey, um I am sure you overheard. There is a small complication with the email system. You might get some weird emails bounced to your inbox." Lauren leaned against the door frame, "Also my townhouse back in the capital was broken into. The Secret Service is looking into it, they think it could be retaliation of some sort for yesterday and the arrest of their pals."

I nodded, "I know, Davey called me. Gave me a heads up that I will be running into some old co-workers." I turned to her and held up the phone, "I also know about the emails, I was just scanning over some of yours, Dr. Lewis."

I watched as Lauren's eyes widened in confusion and drift to the file I still had up on the screen. I stood up, letting the ice pack fall into the tub. "Now the question is do I call you Senator Lewis or Dr. Lewis?" I held her eyes firmly. I wanted to see if she was lying to me the moment she opened her mouth and started producing answers.

I pushed a little further before she started speaking, "Is this why the extremist freaks are so set on getting their hands on you? That you maybe are doing more than just supporting a political agenda for medical reform? That you are more than just a snobby Senator in their eyes."

I kept staring at Lauren and held out the phone to her, "What exactly is it you are doing at the Criterion Centre, Lauren. I can see it's more than just fund raising and supporting a research facility." I took a breath and held on to my sore shoulder, looking at the blonde as she slowly took my phone, "Please tell me you are not playing god."

Lauren, sighed and swiped over the emails. Slowly deleting them, "Bo, there is a lot I have to tell you." She looked up at me, her eyes were sad but held honesty, "When I tell you everything, it will change everything. I live a complicated life, many layers to keep those around me safe while putting my self on the center of the bullseye." She took a steadying breath, "I wanted to wait until we were further along." She paused and handed me back the phone.

I took it, shrugging, "What could be more complicated than last night. We are complicated, I think I proved that when I kissed you." I felt my breath catch in my lungs when I utter the words. She had such and incredible effect on me that it would always complicated things until the day I quit caring about the fine line between employer and employee and let my heart go.

Lauren folded her arms and looked at the edge of the counter, ignoring my statement, "The simplest way to explain those emails and my work is that yes, most of the world and my enemies on both sides of the law think I am playing god." She turned slowly, her eyes meeting mine in the way that I knew she was baring another layer of her for me, "But it is far more than that, Bo." She dropped her arms, turning to walk out of the bathroom, "If you want to know everything, I will be in my office in the basement. I have some damage control to start on." Lauren looked over her shoulder, "Only come down there if you want to know, because I swear on my life. The moment you know everything, everything will change."

Lauren smiled tightly and returned to her path out of the bathroom. Leaving me alone in a quiet marble bathroom, wondering how much more could things get complicated between us.

I took a minute before I reached for my ice pack. Carrying it in my fingers as I left the bathroom, heading to the stairs that would take me to the basement. What else did I have to lose?


	11. Chapter 11

My mother used to always say, "Every journey worth having is full of complications and trouble around every turn." Words that never made too much sense for a girl who lived her life planned to the moment and calculated all risk before jumping in. Now I sat in my office years after my mother first handed down that advice. Reading over Ivan's reports on the firewall breach sitting in a pile of complicated trouble.

The extremist group was pushing harder in the last few months. I had waited for the last couple of days on Ivan and the Secret Service to finally tell me exactly which group it was. A few years ago I had a random church down in the Deep South send me threatening letters and packages. That all stopped when the FBI and the NSA paid them a visit to their front porches with warrants for domestic terroristic threats.

This new extremist group was hard to pinpoint due their taste for hired guns and disposable equipment. Ex-cons who needed to make a quick buck and vehicles that were traced back to no one or random store fronts. They were part one of the trouble.

Part two of the trouble was the CIA and the outer fringe of the NSA who had a deep particular interest in my work at the Criterion Centre. At first they were slightly inquisitive which turned into them getting one small piece of intelligence from Emiliana's case. Now they were rabid for more information and how to utilize my research work to benefit them. The phrase super soldier, no matter how cliché it was, was being tossed around.

I leaned on the edge of my desk. The extremists and the to government agencies were the trouble. Bo was the complicated. I never had the slightest intention that I would fall into a relationship or fall into anything with another human being for an indefinite amount of time. I was a workaholic and no one ever intrigued me to want to be a human and crave for the basic human need of finding love. I was happy just eating, breathing, drinking water and living solely on those four basic life needs.

But here I was now, sitting waiting for Bo to show up as I knew she would. She was far too inquisitive herself and far too smart to ignore the emails she saw. Ones that I was mildly mortified that they had slipped through and landed in her mailbox. Even Rebecca had no idea about the full extent of my work contained in those emails. Yes, she knew of my work since she was also a patient of mine. But the truth of how her life was saved, I couldn't bring myself to tell her.

My eyes were closed. I had a headache brewing and my heart began to feel like it would seize up. I had not discussed religion and science with Bo, her thoughts on the two separately and if they collided like most of the world like two semi trucks on a one lane road. If Bo was like most of the world, she would change her opinion of me as I laid it out to her. Our complicated relationship would become more complicated and distant.

I did trust Bo would not leave the job after I filled her on what the Criterion Centre and I were doing, she would just shut me out and keep it business only. The few inches I let my heart out were already too far. I took a deep breath and admitted it to myself, I wanted Bo. I wanted her on a level that I never wanted anyone else. I wanted to be next to her any chance I could. I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted her to continue to make up silly lies to excuse her need to sleep in the same bed as I. I wanted to spend sunny afternoons with her at Paco's.

I wanted a chance to have something with her.

I groaned and opened my eyes, focusing on the monitors. I sucked in a deep breath as I heard Bo come down the stairs and knock lightly on the cracked door. I would have to play this by ear as to how far my walls would come up.

I turned to the door and saw her half standing in the doorway. I waved her in, "You can take a seat. I just have a few more things to send back to Erich and Ivan. Then we can talk."

Bo nodded and stepped into the office, closing the door behind her. I glanced at her as she scanned the room. Obviously taking in the massive technology hub I had created. The office was much larger than the one Rebecca and her used. The monitors were stacked six deep and the room was dark enough to allow the eye to adjust and not be strained. The entire office looked like an evil genius lair. I smirked at the idle thought; I had been called an evil genius in the past few years.

Bo pulled up the rolling chair and sat next to me. I took note that she did roll the chair closer than polite etiquette would dictate, giving me small hope. She leaned on the armrest with her good arm, "The last time I saw a room like this it was in the basement intelligence section of MI6. Yours looks newer."

I nodded, clicking send on the last few emails I had, "It is newer. I upgrade the systems completely every year and the computers themselves are always in a rotating state of equipment upgrade." I turned to look at her, "My work down here needs to always be one step ahead of everyone." Her dark brown eyes had not changed, she still looked at me the way she did when she silently asked me to stay in the bed with her. It made me swallow hard and look away, this was going to be harder than I thought when it all fell apart in the next hour.

"And what exactly is your work, Lauren." Her voice was monotone, doing her best to keep any anger or accusations out of the tone.

I sighed, pointing to the monitor closest to her, "Watch that screen and I will explain as things come up." I paused and turned to her again, "Bo, I need you to understand that what you will hear next. It's all for the best and has nothing to do with making money. It's all about saving people who deserve more from life than what their genetics handed them." I held her eyes, "I have no desire to replace whatever god anyone believes in. I just wanted to improve on how we heal and advance human life."

Bo fidgeted, placing a new ice pack on her shoulder, "That sounds rather ominous."

I shrugged, "To many, I am ominous. Dangerous, evil, a harlot of science." I looked up at the ceiling, "And a hundred other creative and hurtful terms or phrases."

I hit the enter button. Filling the screen I had directed Bo to look at with images and scrolling genetic code.

I leaned back in my chair as she leaned forward. "This is the closest to the final product of the research I have been doing since I was twenty-three and first met Dr. Erich Zehren on a visit to the Criterion Centre. The Lewis family has supported the centre since it was a small clinic to help refugees during World War 2."

I watched as her eyes darted quickly around the screen. I folded my hands in my lap, "Do you have a basic understanding of DNA and the cloning of DNA, Bo?"

She nodded slightly, "I know enough to get me through biology courses. Cloning, I only know a little bit from the stem cell research debates I had listened to other Senators gripe about." Bo looked at me sideways, "I know that you can grow new skin and small livestock through cloning. After that, I choose to focus on other things in the news that were related to my job."

I smiled tightly, looking back at my hands. I was getting nervous, "Fair enough."

Bo scooted closer to the screen as the lungs were replaced by Rebecca's heart. The same dissection program I had fiddled with a few days ago repeating itself. The heart was dissected and rotated on the screen. More genetic code filling the open spaces, "Lauren is this what all of this is? Is it cloning?"

I nodded curtly, "Yes and no. Cloning is a process where you are introducing other cells and growing replicates of whatever it is you are trying to grow." I swung in the chair, reaching for another stack of my work notebooks, "When I started this project, it was just out of mild boredom in life. Erich had presented me with a few research opportunities in his own work. He was initially working on a cloning project along the lines of livestock. He thought that pigs would work best since they are the closest to humans. He wanted to find the ultimate key of life to unlocking the secrets of genetics."

I gripped on to the notebooks in my hand, looking at Bo as she kept her eyes on the length of my work floating over the screens. One image at a time, "I started reading his work, trying to find better ways to grow replacement skin for burn victims that would take to the wound quickly and speed up the overall healing process. Cut down the time and the excruciating pain all patients suffered through."

I set the notebooks down in front of Bo, "The method I focused on was induced pluripotent stem cells. The stem cells that have the ability to differentiate into any of the three germ layers. Endoderm, mesoderm, and ectoderm." I sat back in the chair, "Not to bore you with even more specifics, but you could use find adult cells of your choice with genes that are known as reprogramming factors and turn them into pluripotent cells. Manipulation to follow and one could start a regrowth process. Sadly over the last many years, this has not proven to be successful. Problems with activating cancer cells and just overall failure of the growth product has left many scientists in a loop of mystery."

I reached over and clicked again, my original notes filling the screen. "I began playing with pluripotent stem cells and the basic idea behind reproduction. The splitting of one cell into another and another until a fetus was created. I began to realize that with enough manipulation of the two ideas, I could grow skin as well as viable organs. After furthering the work with my formulas, I had ideas of splitting apart the genetic code and replicating it perfectly. In time I created formulas where I could literally reproduce a humans original organ. An organ that could not be deciphered from the original one from birth if they sat next to each other." I chewed on my lip for a second, "I was also recoding the organs and removing the faults caused by genetic predisposition to heart disease, cancer or a slip up in chromosomes. Anything illness that could be caused by inherited genetics. The goal was to regrow a perfect working organ free of disease or faulty parts." I was speaking quickly, excited by discussing my passion mixed with the fear that if I stopped talking for too long. She would leave the room and not look back.

Bo turned slowly to look at me, "You mean that you are cloning organs?" Her voice was firm. Telling me that her question was not a just a question, but a statement where she already knew the answer.

I half smiled, "I was. But when you pull apart a cloned organ there are still small genetic differences that would clue any geneticist in that it was not original. Which also led to the growth attempts to fail. The body would take to the organ like a transplant and reject it in time. I wanted my new organs to be undetectable and absolutely perfect. Perfect and brand new as the day you were born and your entire body was free of the hell we eventually all put it through by drinking, smoking, eating poor foods."

I stood up, pulling a thick binder of tests I had run over the last ten years, "These are all of my failures. Ten years of trial and error." I swiped a hand over the thin layer of dust on the front black plastic cover. "Until I began doing full recoding of a patients organ and copying it. I would then add steroids and growth hormones in mild doses to increase the rate of growth. It worked but the organ would only get so far before it began to perish." I sat back down in the chair, watching Bo flip through dusty pages of my scribbled notes.

"Then I stumbled upon a technique some doctors use when they reattached a limb. A thumb for example, its amputated and reattached. The doctor would cut a pouch into the patients stomach and sew the thumb into the pouch. Giving the digit a very healthy and nutrient rich place to heal, grow new tissue." I took a deep breath, pausing to see if Bo was still actively listening. She was, staring dead in my eyes and focused on every word I spoke. It made my heart skip and my throat dry at the same time.

I turned away from her, pulling my hair into a pony tail, "I thought if I could get the new organ to grow a few days, then implant it on top of the old one and establish a symbiotic connection between the two. The new organ would feed off the old. Absorbing nutrients while it grew rapidly. Eventually sucking the life out of the old organ. Making it shrivel up and disappear into the body's natural waste system. Eventually discarded like liquids or solids that travel throughout the body."

I tapped on the tablet in front of me, pulling up Emiliana's lungs. I began moving my fingers over the image that was also on the monitor in front of Bo. "All I had to do was pull apart the genetic code like a zipper." I drew my fingers down the code that appeared around the organ, separating it. "Then I find the weak points. Flick them out." I flicked my fingers over the defective sections of the strand on the screen, making them dissolve. "Replace those with strong healthy sequences and let proverbial nature take course." I pushed the newly formed sections together on the screen. Double tapped the screen to zoom out the image. I smiled weakly, "Added my own brand of vitamin water and let it go."

Bo's mouth opened slightly as she looked down at the binder in front of her and back to the screen. She rubbed at her eyes, "Does, did it work?"

I folded my arms, "It did. All of the tests worked perfectly." I took a slow breath, "Emiliana, Paco's wife, was the first patient. Willingly. She had fallen ill last year and in a short few months she became terminally ill with stage three lung cancer. Paco and Emiliana had resigned that it was her fate. She had not smoked a day in her life or been around it, and yet she carried the diseased lungs of a person who smoked three packs a day from the age of nine until fifty."

I smiled lightly at the memory of the day I asked Paco and Emiliana if they would be interested in my help.

"She was my first patient. They were eager to find anything that could give her a few more months. They didn't care about what I was doing, messing with natural selection and the laws of man. They only wanted a few more months to go home and see South America one more time before she succumbed to her illness."

Bo turned in the chair, setting the ice pack on the floor. The air in the office growing thick with tension. Bo was oddly silent and staring at me and the screens intensely. I could not get a read on her, albeit I was beyond nervous and felt the sadness of what I was losing each minute I revealed the truth to her.

I took what felt like the fortieth deep breath of the last hour, "Emiliana obviously survived. She will live a normal life, see her golden years with Paco and then follow a natural course with her life." I drifted off, I didn't want to seem dark in the moment. I was only giving people a few extra years. I had yet to test out a full organ replacement that would give anyone an extra hundred years on top of the lot they already lived. I mumbled the rest of the procedure, thinking Bo had stopped listening.

"I was able to regrow her a brand new set of lungs in less than a week. Her old ones feeding the new organ only the critical nutrients while I boosted the process with the final set of steroids and hormones Erich and I whittled down to being most compatible." 

I suddenly grinned. Remembering the first deep breath of fresh Geneva air Emiliana took with her new lungs. She laughed in between the tears, squeezing me in the biggest bear hug I would ever receive. "She has been breathing better than she did at the age of twenty with a pair of lungs barely a year old. They are disease free and genetically perfect, and genetically all hers. No signs of replication or cloning anywhere in her body." I tapped once more on the tablet, pulling up a video of the whole growth process recorded from a small camera Dr. Zehren and I had installed after we set the new organ on her old set of lungs. I clicked play and in time lapse, both Bo and I watched as Emiliana's new lungs began to grow while the old ones shriveled up and wilted away. "This project has also led to new processes that I am still working on. Ones that will make healing a matter of blinking the eye and its done."

I turned to look at Bo now that I was done. She was staring at the screen. Absolutely mesmerized by everything I had shown her. I felt lighter and heavier at the same time. Outside of Dr. Zehren and I, no one knew the full extent of my research like Bo now did. Rebecca found out by default when I sat with her in the hospital and asked her if she wanted a new heart.

Bo looked down at the ice pack in her hands, "You are playing god, Lauren." She said it softly, but it still bit at me. She rolled the now luke warm pack in the palm of her good hand.

I looked away from her, "If that's how you choose to look at it, I cannot change your mind."

I felt my heart sink when what I expected began to settle in the room. Thick unspoken disapproval. Bo was like everyone else, seeing the breakthrough I had accomplished as another dastardly attempt at taking the control out of the lords hand and deciding humanities fate. I did hold the power to make people live longer, but not forever.

I stood up from the chair I had sat in. I felt my jaw clench as tears wanted to fall once again. I had hoped that there was something different about Bo. There already was something different in the way she lit my heart on fire with the unique and foreign feelings she pushed in to me with the looks she gave me. Now it was what I expected, nothing different but the same distaste and lack of understanding of why I was doing what I was. I went to leave the room, "If you want to quit, I will understand, but I will have to have you sign a non disclosure agreement." I dropped my eyes down to the brunette still transfixed on the monitors, "My life is in danger everyday and has been for the last few months, I cannot allow any of what I told you to be spoken past these walls as you take your leave." My tone had shifted to that of the one I used when I was Senator Lewis. I was slowly letting go.

I brushed past Bo when I felt her grip on to my wrist. Gentle but firm enough to stop my movements and pull my eyes to settle right on to hers.

"Lauren, why on earth would I quit now. You need me more than ever." Her voice was full of honesty and so heartbreaking soft.

* * *

XXXXXXX

Overwhelmed was not the best word to explain how I felt. I honestly did not think there was a word in any dictionary to accurately describe what was swirling around me. My head was swimming with words and images that I couldn't believe were real. The woman was truly brilliant and beyond. The genius title she carried was well suited.

At the beginning of the speech Lauren was giving me, I barely paid attention. What she was telling me was beyond my basic knowledge of biology from high school and my required college classes. The more she told me, rapidly in an excited tone that I had never experienced from the woman, the more I began to understand why Lauren was hunted and hiding. Hearing that made me want to protect her more, keep her even closer and act sooner and faster on those who came her way.

I watched the video of a grey spotted lungs shrivel away to be replaced by a pair of pink and happy new set. I watched how the blondes eyes lit up as she tapped away on the tablet, pulling apart the foundation all humans are built on and rebuild it as she saw fit.

She was playing god. She had unlocked the secret of life and how to extend it.

The sudden weight of what Lauren was doing and how much danger she was putting herself in, hit me like a ton of bricks. Especially when I saw the glimmer of fear in her eyes when she spoke of previous threats from outside extremist groups and from inside the government she served.

I also knew that when her tone shifted when she finished, she was worried I was casting judgment on her with my silence. When she stood up, telling me that I could quit if I wanted I saw the fear again in her eyes. Fear that I was judging her and that I was going to leave her.

Lauren mumbled something else and brushed against my arm, I reached out. Gently snagging her wrist with my good hand, tugging it to stop her from leaving. "Lauren, why on earth would I quit now. You need me more than ever."

I held on to her wrist and stood up to be face to face with the woman who would forever surprise me. I smirked when her eyes met mine, "You can't get rid of me that easy."

Lauren's brow knitted together as she let out a small nervous laugh. She looked at my hand on her wrist, "I wasn't sure you would want to stay. You're silence..." 

"Told you more. I know." I let my hand slide from her wrist to her hand. Taking it in mine, I looked back over at the monitors. "Your work is remarkable." I turned back to face her, "You are remarkable."

Lauren turned her eyes to the floor, the light smile she had on her face fading slightly. She gently pulled her hand free from mine, "But I am playing god."

I watched her tuck her hands into her sleeves and back away from me.

I cringed as my own words cycled back around, it was clear she had heard it a thousand times before in polite company and while men attacked her. I reached for her again, my hand finding her elbow through the thick material of her sweater. "Lauren, look at me."

She shook her head ever so slightly. Trying to back away as she tried to blink back tears. She whispered, "Religion and science, the great good vs. evil battle."

I held her and stepped closer, reaching up to run my hand over her cheek, "Lauren, look at me." I asked again quietly, she only lifted her eyes to meet mine. I smiled to put her at ease, "Religion and science mean nothing but the same to me. I don't fully understand either of them or how they control the world in their own ways." I stepped even closer to her. Feeling her body heat radiate from her, "All I understand is this, whatever it is between us. That even if you were creating nuclear bombs, I would still stand by your side."

Lauren raised an eyebrow at me. I shook my head to cut off anything she was going to say and continued, "You are remarkable and for the short amount of time I have known you, you have only shown that you want to help people. Care for them and make them see the best in themselves." I moved my hand from her cheek to slide down her neck and settle on her shoulder, "You did that for me." I squeezed her elbow, "I will keep you safe. I am too far beyond running from you or the fears that sit in the back of my mind. Waiting for the first opportunity to creep up and cast doubt over me." I looked up in her glassy amber eyes, "More importantly, I could not bear to see anyone stand where I stood if I left you." The last part came out as a choking whisper. I smiled through my own building tears, "You are stuck with me."

I swallowed hard, the love she had shown me over the last few weeks was killing me. In the best way possible. It was killing the last few strings of despair I held on to from my past. I held the eyes that looked deeper in my soul than anyone I had ever met and still made me feel whole. "You have tasted all of my pain and yet you are still here."

"Oh Bo." My name fell from her lips like a painful whisper before her hands fell on to the sides of my face. I pulled her towards me at the same time, our lips meeting quickly. We kissed hard. Hard but full of relief that neither of us had done what the other expected. Revealed another insurmountable mountain of truths. I ran my tongue over Lauren's bottom lip, asking her to give me a little more. She moaned as she honored the request, pushing her body flush against mine. Kissing this woman for the second time was equally as amazing as the first and I loved the way just the feel of her lips and tongue with mine, set off tiny electrical shocks and shortages through my body.

My body was building a want for more but I shoved it away. All I wanted from Lauren was what I was getting right now. Her breaking away from me for air, flushed and smiling. I picked up she wouldn't look me in the eyes after we kissed. It was like she was memorizing the moment before she had to face the reality of my eyes.

Lauren finally looked up, running the back of her hand over my cheek before it moved down to land at the curve of my neck and shoulder, "Things will change Bo. The danger, the threats, the fear." She smiled tightly, "It will get worse, it already has." I saw the fear edging in again. This time it was a fear directed at my safety.

I nodded, "I will take the risk. You are worth it." I pulled Lauren into my arms, holding her tightly. This was complicated, beyond complicated compared to falling for an Ambassadors brother and still try to the job. I was falling in love with the woman I had to protect, faster and harder than ever before. I would take the risks presented to me. I sighed and nuzzled into Lauren's shoulder, I was even willing to sacrifice my life to keep her alive. I squeezed my eyes shut and held Lauren tighter. The slow realization that I wasn't falling in love with the blonde in my arms, I already was in love with her.

I held Lauren for a few moments before she slowly pulled out of my arms. She smiled at me and looked at my shoulder, "There is one more thing I wanted to show you."

I cocked my head at her. What else could she possibly show me? I had just spent the hour watching her tell me about how she was able to trick the genetic code and how much my heart was hers now. "Please tell me you aren't growing a person in the closet over there."

Lauren laughed, "No I am not." she paused in the shuffling of papers on the desk, looking up at the ceiling, "Well not yet. Maybe next month."

I looked at her mildly horrified, "Lauren, please tell me you're kidding."

She winked at me, "Maybe, maybe not." she pointed to the chair that I had sat in, "Sit?"

I backed up and flopped into the chair, cringing at the sharp pain of my bruised and battered shoulder. I looked at it. The shoulder would take at least three weeks until it moved like normal. I would have to revert to using my left hand to shoot. Meaning I would have to spend every day in the closest gun range to get it back to where it once was. I grabbed my warm ice pack, looking at Lauren's back as she tinkered with a desktop lab set. "You don't happen to have a first aid kit down here?"

Lauren shook her head and spun back around to me. Sitting in her rolling chair with a handful of needles and a small silver metal box, "I don't, but I have something better for your shoulder."

I looked at the needles she was preparing. "Um, I only do booze, not drugs."

Lauren smiled and rolled her eyes, reaching out for my hand on the bad side. "I need a drop of your blood."

I stared into her eyes and slowly gave her my hand, "Are you going to grow me a new arm?"

Another eye roll followed by a prick of the needle on my finger. "No." Lauren moved to the silver box, dropping the small amount of blood she had taken from me into a tiny well in the center. "A side effect of the work I did on the organs and the regrowth process was that I also unlocked the ability to encourage rapid healing." She pressed a button on the box, making it whir quietly. "I took your DNA and am currently stripping the code apart. Then I am rebuilding it to be stronger than before." Two seconds later the box made a beep sound. Lauren opened the box and took out a small vial and slipped it into an injection needle. She turned and held up the vial that held a light violet liquid, "This is only temporary. Last as long as it takes for the healing serum to find the damage area, set to work repairing the tissues and it will fade away when the job is done. No lingering side effects."

Lauren smiled at me and took my hand. Rubbing a tiny alcohol patch right under the edge of the massive bruise. She looked deep in my eyes, "This won't hurt."

I nodded slowly, giving her permission to jab a needle of unknown liquid into my arm. I sucked in a breath, wondering if I was trusting her too much for a split second. Lauren nodded to reassure me and slowly stuck the needle in. Releasing the violet liquid into my arm, instantly warming the entire shoulder up as if I had a heating pad on it.

Lauren set the needle down and waved at my shoulder, "Watch."

I set my eyes on the horrible black and purple bruise. In a few seconds my arm grew warmer as the soreness I had carried for the last forty-two hours began to edge away. I focused more when the bruise seemed to change color. From deep black and purple to green and yellow, then finally to nothing. Just the color of my skin normally. I sat, somewhat shocked as the bruise faded away like nothing had ever happened.

I shot a look at Lauren, smiling she shrugged, "Can you move it?"

I lifted my shoulder expecting excruciating pain. Instead it was pain free and moved like nothing happened. Better than nothing happened, it was like I had the shoulder I did before I entered the academy and busted my body up from aggressive training.

I rolled my shoulder and swung my arm, excited I had full free range of motion. I smiled awkwardly at Lauren, "I have no pain."

Lauren laughed lightly, standing up she offered her hand to me. "Good. I need your shoulder to be as perfect as the day you were born."

I slid my hand into hers, relishing in the strange warmth and tingles touching the woman now always seemed to give me. I stood up and looked down at our hands together, taking a huge breath, I whispered, "We can do this, right?" I moved my gaze up, looking deep into Lauren's eyes, "I can do this, right?"

It was a question that held more in the answers than just a simple yes or no.

Lauren ran her thumb over my knuckles, "We can and we will." She grinned out of nowhere, "Let's go find something to eat. I'm starving and I think we need a break."

I grinned in return, things seemed to be easier around us now. Easier to breath, easier to smile and easier in general. "I agree, but I think I ate all of the leftovers last night."

Lauren laughed lightly and pulled me to follow her out of the office. "I think I can make us something with whats left in the fridge." She turned to look over her shoulder at me, "While I cook you can ask the questions you still have about the Criterion Centre and my work."

I smirked, blushing, "I only have a few thousand about this magical process you created." I dropped her hand as we left the office, closing the door behind us I walked after Lauren, "I do want to know what happened five years ago that makes you keep a gun by your bedside and a bodyguard two doors down." I looked down at the stairs as I climbed up them, following Lauren, "Did someone tried to break in and steal some of the expensive art you have here?"

Lauren paused at the top of the stairs suddenly, making me almost slam into her. I put my hand on her back and felt how rigid she had gone. I pressed my hand against her back, "Hey you okay?"

Lauren did not turn around, speaking to me while she still faced forward, "They broke in to try and kill me. They almost succeeded." she turned her head slightly, "If it wasn't for Rebecca coming home early from the gym I would have bled out on my bedroom floor."

Lauren stood still for a second before she took the last few steps out of the basement, "My attackers bled out in the hallway after I shot them both." Her voice was cold and thick.

I stood on the stairs watching her turn the corner and disappear into the kitchen. I was frozen at what she had just told me. Lauren had as many secrets as I did, she just carried hers better than I did. She carried them gracefully while I carried them in the bottom of a bottle.

I took a steadying breath. One to steady the anger that came from nowhere at Rebecca and the intruders. Yes, it happened five years ago, but it still had a profound effect on me. She told me she almost died. If she had died I would have never met the woman who is changing my life and my heart.

It only had a profound effect on me because I suddenly realized that I didn't dare think about a time when Lauren was not in my life.

I slowly climbed the stairs, trying to relax my emotions before Lauren read them and it would add another complication to everything.


	12. Chapter 12

Pulling open cabinets and searching through the random bits and pieces of canned goods and boxes of pasta, I debated what actually to make for Bo and I. Also waiting for Bo to ask about the small piece of information I had laid out on the stairs to her.

I pulled down a box of pasta and a jar of sauce, looking at Bo as she entered the kitchen. She met my eyes and looked away just as quickly. She wanted to ask but didn't know how.

I set the two ingredients on the marble counter top. The jar making a heavy clunk sound that seemed to echo in the strange silence of the kitchen. I held up the box looking to the side for instructions, "It seems all I have ingredients for is a basic pot of spaghetti." I set the box down with a sliding sound, "Or I can put in a delivery order for more Thai food or pizza." I smiled lightly at Bo, watching her roll her now fully healed shoulder with ease and amazement at how easily it moved.

"Uh, yea, sure. I can eat anything." Bo looked at the jar and box, "But I will leave it up to ladies' choice." Bo smirked, leaning forward on the counter top. Glancing here and there at me, questions visibly bubbling in her head.

I nodded, "I am craving lasagna, but I really don't want to make it." I pulled open the drawer in front of me, shuffling through the stacked mountain of carry out pamphlets. I shook my head when my fingers grabbed the edge of the Italian place three streets over. I really should stop eating like I was on vacation; it would make for a hard adjustment when I returned to the capital and had to return to my diet of healthy food in moderation and plenty of exercise.

I slid it the pamphlet over to Bo, "Their calzones are excellent."

Bo glossed over the bi-fold pamphlet for a split second, "I will have a spinach and feta one."

I nodded and hit the speed dial on the house phone, smiling as I turned to look out the window when the kid who answered recognized my number. Cracking a joke about already knowing my order. I placed the order and hung up; setting the phone back on its charger I walked over to Bo, "Be here in a half hour. I am going to go upstairs and change. I feel like a bum if I stay in my pajamas for too long."

Bo smiled, keeping her eyes on the bright white marble strands in the counter top, "I should probably change too." She stood up and held out her hand for me to go first. We walked in silence to our separate bedrooms. I listened until I heard her door click shut before I let out a sigh.

Bo was trying to figure out what happened without asking me. I could tell in the way she looked at me, her mind was spinning. I would have to tell her that when I brought something up, even if it was a secret, it was okay for her to ask. I told her because I wanted her to know. I wanted her to know everything about me.

I grabbed my second favorite pair of jeans and pulled them on then moved to the dresser. Opening the drawers I picked out one of the few non V-neck shirts I owned. It was an old t-shirt from my favorite pub from my days at Oxford. I tossed it on to the bed as I dug around in the other drawers for a bra.

Putting on the bra I caught myself in the reflection of the floor length mirror I kept next to the closet. I scanned my body, noting the small pockets of fat that were thickening from the teenage diet I had been on for the last two weeks. I smiled and shook my head, noting that near the end of next week I would have to hit the treadmill. I ran my hand over my flat-ish belly and looked away from my reflection as my fingers grazed the thin white scar that traveled from one side of my belly button to the top of my hip on the left side.

When I had acquired this scar, I was far from close to developing the healing serum. Even after I had, it would not work on scar tissue, only circling around the thin white line and healing whatever issues in my body. I was still working on a serum to eliminate the only memory I really never wanted to keep.

"I think I left my phone in your bathroom, Lauren."

I turned suddenly to the sound of Bo's voice, pulling me from my thoughts. She was dressed in jeans and the deep purple scoop neck shirt I had left in her closet. She was scanning the room looking for her phone when her eyes settled on me. Standing semi-topless in front of the mirror, my hand resting on the edge of the scar right above my hip.

Bo blushed instantly, and before she turned away from scanning the length of my body, stopping to stare at certain key areas. I watched her eyes drift to the obvious scar on my abdomen. Staring at it for a moment longer than she had my covered breasts.

Bo ran a hand through her hair and went to turn her back to me, "I should have knocked. I kinda freaked out when I couldn't find the phone and was in a hurry." She glanced at me out the corner of her eye, taking another look at my scar.

I smiled, grabbing my shirt and pulling it on to end Bo's obvious self-imposed torture.

As I tugged the bottom of the shirt down, I spoke softly, "I had never shot a gun before that day. Well, seriously shot a gun. I had gone to gun clubs and re-enactment events while on the campaign trail for my senate seat. But that was for photos, me holding a shotgun and smiling at the camera, or pretending to take out a British red coat on the shores of New York."

I walked to the edge of the bed and sat down, leaning on my elbows as they rested on my thighs.

"I was a target then. Not for the reasons I am now. I had revealed that I was taking over my parents chair with the Criterion Centre. Continuing to help fund-raising efforts as a ruse to be able to explain away why I was in Geneva more than any normal person should be."

I looked at Bo, standing on the other side of the bed listening as she stared at me. I held out my hand to her, I wanted her closer for some reason.

She took my hand and I gently led her to sit next to me as I held on to hers. "I will always remember The Perfecting Church. Even if they were disbanded by the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security shortly after my attack." I half smiled as I set Bo and I's hand on my thigh. "They were the most creative and I took them for granted."

Bo squeezed my hand and moved closer to me, so close our legs and arms touched, "How did they get to you?"

I took a slow breath, "I was ignorant and ill prepared. This house was not locked down as it is now. Just basic security systems that were defeated by a few snips of cables and a well-placed fake service call." I looked up from my thigh, focusing on the one spot on the wall where all the plaster had to be replaced, stained with blood. My blood.

"It was meant to look like a breaking and entering gone wrong. Two members of the Perfecting Church, who were also skilled hunters, broke into the house while I was asleep. I had gone to bed early to prepare for my flight to Geneva the next morning. Rebecca went to the gym and left me in the house alone. There had been no major threats aside from the usual hate mail. I had no reason to suspect that someone wanted me dead to prove a point or further their own agenda."

Tearing my eyes way from the wall I looked at Bo. In the brown eyes that seemed to steady me when I needed it most, "One tried to strangle me in my sleep. Crept into the bed but I woke up the moment I felt the weight on the mattress. O assumed it was Rebecca since we had just moved into the beginnings of a physical relationship and sharing a bed." I paused, the flashes of the man's dark eyes glinting from the light reflected from the bathroom nightlight. "It quickly became a brawl. An all out fight for my life."

I closed my eyes. Seeing the incident clearly. Rolling out of the bed after punching the man in the bed in the throat. I managed to get away from the first attacker only to be scooped up by the second, who rushed me the moment I landed on my feet.

A gun was soon pressed to my temple and a statement issued by the first man. Irreverently spewing venom about my relationship to the centre and supporting all the things their god frowned upon. Abortion, stem cell research, planned parenthood.

I kept my eyes shut, "I knew I was going to die that night so I threw everything I had left in me. I disabled the second attacker with the gun by hitting him below the belt so many times that if he did survive, he would never have children. I picked up his gun and as I spun around to face my first attacker. He slashed at me with a gutting knife." I cocked my head at Bo, "The kind that has the slight curved hook near the end?" Bo nodded she knew what I meant; "It cut through me like nothing. I felt nothing but my body slipping away with every bit of blood that poured out of the wound."

I moved my eyes from Bo and unconsciously to the spot on the floor where I laid, counting away the seconds before death took me. "I still had the gun in my hand as I collapsed to the floor. The two men struggled to leave, injured and panicking that it had all gone wrong."

I pulled Bo's hand closer to me, covering our hands with my other free hand. "All I could hear was the voice of the old man at the skeet range. Telling me to just point, breathe and pull the trigger. So I did. I pointed at the two, took what I thought was my last breath and pulled the trigger until the ear-piercing pops turned into clicks. I dropped the empty gun and closed my eyes. Listening to the two lifeless lumps gurgle in the hallway."

I felt Bo's other hand come to the middle of my back, pressing gently to let me know she was still there. It made me smile and ease the clench I had in my jaw the entire time, "I only remember waking up in the back of an ambulance. Rebecca sitting next to the stretcher, looking at me as if I was a ghost. Surprised I was still alive."

I leaned against Bo, "84 is my lucky number."

Bo ran her hand up and down my back, "84?"

I nodded and laughed lightly, "The number of staples to close up the wound and the percentage of blood I lost. The doctors are still not sure how I survived."

I stood up from the bed and Bo suddenly, moving to stand in front of the dresser staring at the random jewelry I had in boxes, "After that night, I spent all the money necessary to secure the house, my work, and invest in private protection. To learn how to protect myself." I rolled my fingers over a pearl necklace, "I became a doctor to save lives, not take them."

I turned to Bo, "I know it's a morbid thought. To hire someone to protect and eliminate when the time came." I smiled tightly, watching Bo's face twitch at my words, "I have killed two people in my life. I didn't do it for survival or protection. I did it because I as I felt my heart slow with every last pump of my arteries, I wanted justice. Justice I knew the two men would never see as I died and they were hunted down. Face an exaggerated trial and sit in the prison system as taxpayers paid for their lifetime housing." I leaned my back against the dresser, "I never told anyone about this. But after I woke up in the hospital, I couldn't stop thinking about those last few thoughts. It bothered me and I had made a silent promise that I would never do it again. Seek a sort of vigilante justice."

Bo was staring at me with a strange look on her face, staring deep into my eyes. Bo had shifted from concerned listening as I told my story, to anger and irritation as I gave her my reasons why I sought out private protection. I was hitting a deep buried nerve, one I had no idea how to navigate around, because I had no idea where it was rooted. I wanted Bo to lash out and open up, pour out secrets so I could understand her better. I was opening up to her to show her that I trusted her and wanted her to trust me wholly.

Bo turned away after a moment, looking at the floor. At the same spot I had laid for what felt like an eternity in my blood. "Is that what you expect from me? To eliminate? Take out the threats like a common street thug because you don't have the stomach or the training for it?" Bo's voice edged with a building anger.

I shook my head, even though Bo was not looking at me, "No. I hired you because after thousands of candidate files that passed through hands, you were the only one that had a record of deescalating and disabling. Not escalating and eliminating." I moved away from the dresser, standing next to the side of the bed. I went to sit down next her but stopped when she moved to the far edge, to give me plenty of space. I remained standing, "Rebecca's way of doing things is to secure and evacuate. It has made my enemies see me as weak and that why I think they have charged hard at me lately."

I paused, "Do you want to really know why I hired you after less than five meetings after meeting face to face?" I needed to move the conversation to something else, to try to reclaim the listening Bo and not the one that was slowly shutting down with anger in front of me.

Bo craned her neck slightly as I moved closer to her, questioning me slightly.

"I hired you because of what I saw when I looked into your eyes." I tried to get her to look at me, but she was resilient. Looking away from me and back at the spot on the floor she had bore holes in over the last few minutes.

Bo chuckled, "A drunk trying to hold back in the need to vomit all over your fancy rug? Is that what you saw in my eyes that day?" She was irritated and I was curious to know what I had said or done that set her off.

I folded my arms tighter across my chest, finally sitting on the bed close to Bo. I wanted to close the distance between us physically and emotionally. "I saw a woman who would do everything in her power to keep me safe and alive. That like me, you swore to save lives not take them. That you would push past the demons and the memories that haunt you, do your job in the best way possible to keep everyone alive to face the justice you swore to serve when you took on the badge of a Secret Service agent." I paused, trying to conjure up the words to tell her that when I looked in her eyes, she stole away my breath and my heart in one hard stare. I reached out for her hand. "Bo, you are more than just that Secret Service agent in that file. You mean the world to..."

Bo flinched and stood up quickly, cutting me off her voice raised as she spoke, "I am not a Secret Service agent anymore. You do remember that part I my file right? The part where I fucked up and killed two people and was fired?" She glared at me, "I now am just a thug for hire. No agency other than Davey's would touch me with a ten foot pole attached to a twenty thousand dollar signing bonus." Bo laughed hard and stared at the ceiling, "Trust me I've tried, he's tried and no one will touch me." She dropped her eyes to mine, "All I am now is thug for hire who has the training and the ability where you don't for the times when you don't want too. I am nothing more than that and never will be. All because of the two deaths I have under my belt."

Bo threw her hand up at me out of frustration, "I have to find my phone." She stormed out slamming my bedroom door behind her.

Left alone in the room, I stood staring at the dent she had left from sitting on the bed. I would have to break down her walls to find out why Bo was so afraid and why she had lost her temper just now.

I dialed the pizza place up and canceled the delivery order I had placed ten minutes ago, lunch would have to wait. I swiped through a few emails until I found the one I had ignored over the last two days. I quickly typed up a response. When I was finished I hit Davideks number. He answered on the second ring.

I smiled hearing my old friends cheesy greeting, "Can you set the range up for Bo and I? I would like to get her qualifications done as soon as I can today."

Davidek excitedly agreed. I hung up after telling him we would be down in a few hours. I locked my phone, tucking in it in my back pocket as I moved to the closet. Kneeling and grabbing the black case I set there casually. I opened it and set the gun from the bedside table into the soft padding of the interior.

I snapped the case shut, I would have to prove Bo wrong about a few things. To get her to understand that she was much more than a hired thug to me.

* * *

XXXXXX

I found my phone in Lauren's office on the desk where I had left it when she revealed everything about her life as Dr. Lewis. I grabbed the phone and scanned the room one more time. The remnants of her work floating across her screen welcoming me in to the fold of this new side of the blonde. The woman was incomprehensibly brilliant and I fully understood why she had enemies. Enemies envious of her ability to pull apart the secrets of life and give us all the freedom time restricts us with.

I closed the office door and walked back upstairs and out the back door. I didn't want to be in the house right now. Lauren's story about her attackers hit me to the core and I was already getting angry at the attackers for getting as close as they did to her, almost killing the woman. There was also anger at Rebecca for not being there for Lauren when it all went down.

I trotted down the side of the hill, the soles of my converse molding to the bumpy grass and dirt mixture that made up the hill. What made me lose my temper was listening to Lauren explain why she went the route to severe private protection. I couldn't think past the few key words that set my temper off, the words that made me feel like I was a hired thug. A glorified bouncer to pick up the dirty work the Senator didn't want to do. When Lauren could have easily spent her endless millions on her own training and defend herself.

I didn't want to sit and listen to the reasons why I was better suited because I was trained to kill but opted not too. Instead of valuing human life no matter the evil that life held. I had tuned her out to try to control my bubbling anger. I slowly began to realize I was angry because I had yet to face what I had done and accept it.

Lauren had. She accepted that what she did out of a need for deathbed revenge she couldn't change, only change the future. It pissed me off that she was so easy about it as she spoke.

I knew Lauren was slowly pushing for me to open up. I could tell in the way she suddenly told me the story and the secrets of how she felt after the fact. She expected me to turn around and spill my heart out, let her in deeper and reveal why one day in Montreal continued to control every inch of my life for the last two years.

It was her self-righteous tone when she mumbled that as a doctor she was meant to save lives and not take them. I gritted my teeth, if only she knew the half of it. I had also killed two people, only two people but it was more than enough. Those two deaths haunted me every minute of every day and when Lauren explained her need to hire someone to eliminate threats for her when the time came, I stopped listening. I never went into the Secret Service to eliminate, I went in to protect and serve. Just like all innocent fresh-faced kids with big hopes and dreams for the world around them.

I walked until I could no longer see the edged rooftop of the house. Sought out a rock and sat on it. Looking down the rest of the hill fall into the rooftops and the ocean. I propped my feet up on the edge and huddled against my knees. Letting the wind whirl around me, I let out slow breaths to release the stress, irritation and anger that came from nowhere. Sparking up like a mid summer brush fire.

Lauren made me feel like an upgrade for Rebecca. Rebecca was no longer making the cut, personally and professionally. I had seen it that day at the university. Rebecca only wanted to get Lauren out of the area and deal with the threat later or have someone else do it. It was clear that feelings and a past where beginning to cloud the job set before the smaller brunette.

I swiped at the hair blowing around my face, I could deal with being a replacement but I was beginning to wonder if the feelings between us were real or a rouse to get me to throw all of my chips into the pot, buy in completely both sides of Lauren. What bothered me the most was when Lauren tried to tell me that she still saw the agent who I had been in my eyes, not the failed human who became a drunk and gave up believing in the greater good after I had signed on the dotted line of Secret Service.

I failed just like Rebecca but on a bigger picture, Lauren lived. Robert and Callum didn't.

I continued to sit on the rock, rolling the cell phone in my hands trying to figure it all out. Sorting through memories, feelings and realities. I was hired to do a job and I was falling in love with a complex and brilliant woman who could easily manipulate me with the flick of her finger if she so chose. I was confused more than ever of what Lauren wanted from me. If she wanted a repeat performance of Rebecca, if she wanted a hire thug that did her dirty work but shared her bed at night, or if she was really searching out what my heart was beginning to crave from her. A chance to feel whole again with someone. A chance to stop chasing the past and leave the agent I was in the past.

The wind settled down to slow breezes, carrying up the ocean air for me to breathe in. Each breath reminded me of Lauren. Making me squeeze my eyes shut with the turning of my stomach. My father always told me that no matter how humans tried, history repeated itself. That it was our ignorant curse in life. An inability to take the lessons we learn and properly apply them. Those words never rang truer in this moment. I was on the verge of repeating history with Lauren. I groaned and leaned on my elbows.

The phone next to my ear vibrated. I pulled it down and saw there was a text from Lauren.

Swiping the screen I clicked the tiny envelope icon.

_-Bo_

_Meet me up at the garage in fifteen minutes. We are heading to the range to get your qualifications done.-_

I replied with a short ok. Standing up I took a deep breath of the warm ocean air and turned to start the trek back up the hill. It would be good to shoot some things, release the stress and anger that was still lingering.

Cresting the top of the hill I spotted Lauren digging in the trunk of the Cadillac. She turned to look at me when she heard the gravel crunch under my soft soled shoes. Her eyes were hidden behind her ever-present aviators. Lauren was still beautiful and I silently cursed my heart when it skipped a few beats when I looked at her still wearing that ratty t-shirt and fitted jeans. The wind blowing her hair around like she was in a model photo shoot. I forced myself to look at my feet, I would have to have a serious heart to heart with my heart and tell it to settle down before it got me into more trouble.

Closing the trunk she spoke to me, "I took the liberty of grabbing your gun and a few other things. The gun range I use is over by your house." She motioned to the back seat where I could see two suit bags hanging up on the convenient hook above the window, "I grabbed some spare clothes for both of us to change into when we finish. We are heading to the San Diego Zoo afterwards. I received a last-minute email request to make the opening of the new polar bear exhibit this afternoon." Lauren twirled the keys around her finger, "The exhibit was funded by one of my major campaign contributors. He begged me to come out to show some support." She shrugged, "I also figured it would be good for us to get out of the house for a few hours before the Secret Service Agent comes by later tonight for the debriefing from the incident."

I nodded tightly, not knowing what to say. I actually was glad to get out of the house for a little while. Heading back to San Diego and my home turf would be welcomed. Maybe I could call up Tito and have him come hang out with me at the Zoo. I wanted someone to vent too that wasn't signing off on my paychecks.

Walking closer to the car I mumbled, "I can drive."

Lauren had already moved to the driver's side of the Cadillac, "I will drive. Like I said Bo."

I interrupted her, "I know, sometimes you like to play driving Miss Daisy." The joke had a little more bite to it than I intended. Lauren's smile faded, I could feel her eyes push through the tint of her aviators and read me. I opened the passenger side door and sat down before she could get too far. I was unfounded in my anger and I didn't need Lauren to try to pick apart why I was, when I barely knew why I was so angry in the first place.

Lauren sat in the driver's seat and started the Cadillac. As soon as the radio powered on, the cabin filled with music I had not heard since I drove around with my grandfather on his farm in Pennsylvania. I couldn't hold back the small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth as I heard the lyrics.

_"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. I keep my eyes wide open all the time..."_

Lauren's hand shot out to hit the off button, but not before I caught that she was listening to the Johnny Cash satellite station. The music was cut off abruptly, Lauren said nothing and focused on backing the Cadillac out of the driveway. While she looked over her shoulder to make sure she didn't back into my Lincoln parked behind it, I reached over and turned the radio back on. Letting the music fill up the car as I slowly turned the volume up a few notches.

"Johnny Cash? I expected a refined Senator, Doctor and heir to a steel mill legacy to listen to something a little more...well refined." I bit my lip as I tried to keep the smirk off my face. This was highly unexpected of Lauren.

Lauren kept her eyes on the road as she turned out on to the road, I could see the way her jaw clenched that she was embarrassed and so badly wanted to turn the radio off. But wouldn't, knowing it would let on that she was truly embarrassed. She said nothing allowing Johnny to fill the lack of conversation between us.

_I find it very, very easy to be true_  
_I find myself alone when each day is through_  
_Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you_  
_Because you're mine, I walk the line_

The twang of the old country music continued to swim around in the car's cabin. The rich tones of the music bounced happily off the interior that was made for listening to music in a perfect setting. I glanced out the window as Johnny's lyrics struck a chord. Lyrics he wrote when he was in the same situation I was, falling for a woman who forced him to walk the line between what his heart wanted and what the reality of getting it would cost. I focused on the passing trees and tried to think about riding around on the old green tractor with the old radio tied with twine on the front of the tractor.

Those days felt like an eternity ago.

* * *

The conversation in the car was minimal, only pieces of questions and answers while I worked through the emails that never seemed to end in my inbox. There was a strange tension between us. A tension that wasn't anger or sexual, it was just a strange tension that I could not pin point. Lauren had not gone back to being the Senator when she answered the simple questions I had. She also did not throw out any causal conversation starters. The few times I did look over at her, I could see in the way her jaw was still clenched, she was deep in thought.

I knew the thoughts were about why I reacted the way I did in the bedroom as she shared the details of the attack with me. I had learned over the last few days that when Lauren went quiet and her jaw clenched like it was, she was deep in the recesses of her beautiful mind trying to piece together things she didn't understand. Come to a conclusion without asking up front.

After we left the highway and she navigated the city streets, I decided to break the tension now that my residual and unfounded anger had left miles ago. I would try to start a conversation and maybe get her to tell me why all of her radio presets were nothing but the best old country satellite radio had to offer. I leaned to look out the front windshield when all desire to break the ice fell away at the first sight of the massive building just on the edge of the view before me.

I recognized the large black building from the traffic light Lauren stopped at a block away. It was Davey's building, the headquarters and training facility for his contract firm. I had been there a handful of times over the last two years picking up jobs when Davey felt sorry for me.

Lauren pulled into the large lot behind the building where I knew the private entrance that led to the firearm range was. She took her aviators off, silencing the quiet hum of the engine. "Davidek's building provides discreet mobility. No one knows I come here and I am not tracked when I am here. It is one of the few places I can move freely." Lauren clutched the sunglasses in her hand, "The private range has allowed me freedom in becoming more comfortable with carrying a firearm and learning how to use it successfully. Instead of pointing and shooting." Lauren glanced at me quickly before exiting the car.

Davey pushed the back door open and grinned as I shut the passenger side door. He was dressed in his usual white button down, perfectly tailored to fit him, a grey satin tie and the usual black fitted suit pants. He looked ridiculously handsome in the early afternoon sun.

"Bo, you two made good time." He stopped to stand in front of me, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder, "I have the range booked for you and Senator Lewis. No one will bother you two for the next couple of hours." He dropped his hand when Lauren came around from the rear of the Cadillac. His grin widened and he mumbled something to her in Czech, walking over to shake her hand. I noted that he was using her formal title of Senator. Irritating me a little more.

I stood still, still facing the black metallic door listening to Lauren and Davey speak to each other in Czech. I felt the irritation return. I couldn't understand what was being said but I was certain Davey was asking how I was doing and god knows what Lauren was telling him.

I looked over my shoulder as Davey's shadow shifted and moved towards me, Lauren's shadow moving with his.

"Bo, go ahead down to the range. I need to speak with Davidek for a moment." Lauren smiled at me, it was the Senator smile. She was putting on a show in front of him and in turn, shutting me out.

I nodded, taking the black gun cases from Davey offered to me. Rushing to the door I punched in the access code he gave me years ago. I ripped the door open and walked into the cool and sterile hallway. My irritation was in full force with ever quick, soft step I took to the massive state of the art gun range deep in the bowels of the non-descriptive building. Lauren was pissing me off with her cold behavior, a behavior I knew I inspired in her over the last few hours with my stupid outburst. This was complicated, difficult and infuriating. The constant opening and closing of doors on both of our sides. It made me think for a split second if this was worth it.

Walking into the state of the art gun range, I smirked when I saw Davey had laid out enough ammunition and guns for a full standard qualification. He had also hung up the all too familiar target of a threatening man with an eighties porn mustache, grimacing and pointing a revolver at you. I reached for the green button with a forward arrow in white, sending the menacing man down 25 yards to stop and swing lightly in the breeze brought on by the vents in the ceiling.

I stared in the blank paper eyes of my target, sighing. I had gone through this process a million times in my career, every six months I would go through the paces and prove to the agency I was proficient and efficient enough to carry a weapon and serve. I set the gun cases down hard, the slap of plastic against metal filled the room. The sound bouncing off the length of shooting lane walls. A million and one times to prove to someone I was still worthy.

Flipping open the first black case I picked up my P99. Hefting it in my hand and clenching the grip tight enough that it left little ridges in the palm of my hand. I walked to the middle of the lanes, tossing on a pair of shooting glasses and ear plugs, I loaded the three magazines in the case. Pushing one into the P99 with a satisfied slap and click with the heel of my hand, I set the gun down.

I rolled my shoulders and took my stance. Taking a deep calming breath, I picked up the gun. Clutching it with both of my hands, moving my fingers around until I found my grip.

I raised the gun and found my sight picture. Leaning forward as my instructors from long ago drilled into me, I squeezed the trigger and fired. In the blink of an eye, I had sent fifteen rounds down range. All of them settling in a small group in the center mass of the windbreaker the mustached menace wore.

I dropped the magazine out and quickly replaced it with a brand new full one. Another breath in and as I let it out, fifteen more rounds found their target. A few to the center of his forehead and the rest widening the hole I had created at center mass.

I finished off the last clip and when I was done, the target wobbled in the aftermath of the velocity and force I had presented through it. I set the smoking gun down, enjoying the smell of cordite wafting in the air. I pressed the second green arrow on the side of the lane wall. Rushing the target back to me in the whir of paper rattling against air.

When it stopped, I grabbed the edge with two fingers. Lifting it up to take a look at my grouping. Smirking to myself. I still had it, and better than ever now that I was sober. I slid my shooting glasses up to the top of my head and unclipped the target, turning around to set it on the table and grab a new one, I looked up.

Davey and Lauren were standing at the back table where the black cases and targets were. Davey was grinning and nodding like a proud father at me. Lauren was looking at the target in my hands, her eyes unreadable but intense.

I held up the target as I picked out the orange spongy earplugs from my ears, "Still better than you Davey."

Davey laughed and took the target, examining the groupings, "I never doubted you for a second Bo. You will have to come out in the summer and compete in the yearly competition against Black Talon Incorporated. They won last year, and I would like nothing more than to wipe the floor with them this year. They will never see it coming from you."

I focused on reloading the empty magazines, "I will think about it, Davey." I looked up at Lauren, "Is this satisfactory enough for you Senator Lewis? Or should I continue to waste more of Davey's ammo?" I was back to being the ass I was in the first few days I met the blonde. I wasn't about to let her get away with her discreet and secretive behavior and the small bits of the Senator coming back in when it was no longer necessary. This woman was infuriating as much as she was beautiful. "I can go through all the targets on the table and prove I can eliminate with the best of them."

Davey's eyebrows raised in surprise as he looked between Lauren and I, slowly putting together that there was something more going on in the empty range.

Lauren smiled tightly, opening the second black case and removing her P99. She went to grab a box of ammo and the speedloader I had used to reload the magazines. She looked over at Davey, "Do you have my scores from last time, Davidek?"

He nodded, "I do. Pulled them as soon as you called."

"Thank you." Lauren finished loading her magazines and looked up at me. The look shifted back to Lauren and away from the Senator, "Would you like to do this together, Bo?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, "Are you sure?" It was a gentle question, I really didn't want to embarrass her in front of Davey. I had spent most of my life around guns and even as time and booze took me away from the constant training and handling of firearms, I definitely knew how to handle them. I had just proven it to her.

Lauren smiled, walking up to the empty lane next to me, "For fun?"

I shook my head and laughed quietly. I walked back to my lane and loaded one magazine into the gun. I turned to look back at Davey, "Standard rules?"

He winked at me, "Alright ladies. Here are the rules, who ever can empty all three magazines the fastest and be accurate to the high standards I have, will be the winner."

Lauren stepped back, "Should we place a wager on this little competition?"

I laughed again, "If you want." I thought for a minute, "Fine. Winner gets to choose something they want to do at a later date. Without question or gripes from the loser." I looked at a confused Lauren, I knew I was going to win this little shootout, "Meaning if I want to drive, you let me drive. If I want the Senator to make dinner instead of ordering take out every night..."

Lauren smirked and cut me off, "I get it, Bo. Winner gets free choice. Like if I want you to wear dresses to work for a month, you will have too. Or if I want you to go pick up Paco's tacos for a week with no questions, you will?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, I guess that's the jist of it." I turned back to the lane, hanging up my second mustached target. "Let's get this started."

I pushed the orange earplug back in before settling the plastic glasses over my eyes. I listened to Davey rattle off the rules of the qualification, a speech I knew by heart. I focused my breathing and went through my ritual. I held the gun up at mid waist waiting for Davey to shout fire.

The second he did, I found my sight picture and squeezed the trigger. Emptying the first and second magazine in a matter of seconds. I half listened to the shots going off next to me as Lauren fired. I paid little attention to the echo and her target. I only wanted to get my third magazine in and finish the target while I thought about the prize I was about to win.

Two shots into my third clip, I realized the sound of my gun was the only sound around me. Gone was the twin pops from the stall next to me. I instantly assumed Lauren had a malfunction that was delaying her. I pushed it out of my mind and focused on finishing. I blew through the last few rounds in my gun and set the gun down. Turning to Davey with my hands raised to signal I was done.

He nodded and yelled time. Waving at the both of us to step back from the lanes so he could run the targets back.

I looked at Lauren as she set her empty magazines on to the table. She racked her gun a few times, trying to get the slide to move smoothly. I set my empty magazines down, "Malfunction?"

Lauren shook her head and setting the magazines back into the case.

I went to say something when Davey stood next to me, setting the two targets face down on the table. "Okay ladies. Time to announce the winner."

I smiled, setting the gun on top of the case. I folded my arms and waited for the moment I could tell Lauren what I had in mind for her.

"In second place with a time of seven point four seconds and a score of forty-five." Davey rattled the paper target, "Bo Dennis."

The smirk fell from my face as I stared at Davey, "What?"

Davey shrugged, "In first place with a time of five point five nine seconds and a score of fifty-five." he held out the target so both Lauren and I could see the tight groups compared to my semi spaced out groups, "The Senator. Well done Lauren, you beat your last score by point three seconds."

I snatched the target from his hands, staring at the perfect groups in center mass and in the forehead of the target. I was shocked. Lauren had shot a truly perfect target.

I shot a look at Lauren, she smiled. A genuine smile that was not one of gloating or rejoicing in proving me wrong, but the same one she had given me when I woke up with my arm wrapped around her in bed. "Davey has been my instructor for the last few months. I figured it was time that I learned how to protect myself." She met my eyes, "Not just rely on the protection of others as much as I had in the past."

She then turned to Davey, "Thank you Davidek. I think Bo and I are done." She glanced at her watch, "We should get cleaned up and start making our way to the zoo. I will decide on my prize later, Bo." She went to pick up the case when Davey stopped her. I continued to stare at Lauren, amazed at how badly she showed me up. For years I was always the top shot in the agency and with Davey. No one ever came close to beating me or close to matching me.

"Leave them Lauren. I will have them cleaned for you and re calibrated. They will be ready when you two are ready." He pointed to the other side of the range. "The elevator will take you up to the private locker room. You two can shower and change there."

Lauren smiled and whispered a thank you. Setting her gun on top of the black case she left the range quietly. Leaving Davey and alone as I fidgeted with pulling apart the gun in my hands. She surprised me again, and proved me wrong again.

He turned to me as the elevator doors whispered closed, and grinned, "Second place for the first time in your life, how does it feel?"

I rubbed at my forehead, "Why didn't you tell me that she actually knew how to use the gun?"

He laughed, "That would be cheating and to be honest, you've been lippy since you got here. I wanted to knock you down a notch."

I sighed and tossed the pieces of the gun into the case, "I wasn't lippy."

"Bullshit." Davey sat on the edge of the table, "Lauren tells me that you have done an amazing job. Learning and staying sober. That's what she wanted to talk to me about privately."

I leaned both of my hands on the table, closing my eyes, "Is that all she told you?"

"Yea. She did inquire about Montreal."

I turned quickly to stare at him, he waved at me, "Not what you think. She told me that she was worried about you and asked for my advice on to help you. Lauren isn't digging." Davey paused, "Can I be frank with you Bo? Friend to friend?"

I nodded and stood up from the edge of the table, "Of course, you are my closest and only other friend aside from Tito."

Davey smiled, "Good old Tito. You need to buy him a new car or at least take him to dinner for the other day." Davey turned to look at me, his copper eyes locking on to mine, "Lauren and I have been friends forever. Long before we both realized the world is a fucked up place and how we were both going to eventually try to fix it. She is the sister I never had and wished I could trade my two brothers in for her."

I smiled, "You have brothers?"

He shrugged, "I do, both are lazy assholes still working at the Lewis estate as landscapers." he took a deep breath, "Anyways. I know Lauren through and through. She is my family just as much as my real family." He paused, "There's something going on between the two of you that I can tell goes well beyond just a pissy reformed drunk and a classy Senator. She cares about you. I can tell in the way her eyes light up when she talks about you. The way she cares about you."

He slid off the table, straightening the knot on his grey satin tie, "I knew about her and Rebecca." Davey stepped closer to me, "Lauren looks at you the way Rebecca looked at her." He took a slow intake of air, "And I see how you look at her."

I swallowed hard, there was no way I could hide anything from one of the best agents I had ever worked with. Davey was the only other one who knew Callum and I were together. He confronted me at the bar one night after work, telling me what he saw in the little looks and movements Callum and I shared.

"Davey, I...She, we aren't anything." I stopped and returned to digging in my gun case, "I have a job to do. Lauren will be safe."

Davey grabbed my forearm gently, "If you love her, stop being an asshole and cutting her out. Let her in and tell her about Montreal. Let that demon out and move on." He looked down at his well manicured hand on my arm, "I can already tell she is the best thing to ever happen to you. I can see it in your eyes, your sober eyes." He smiled, pulling his hand free from me, "Just know, if you fuck up I will be the first person at your doorstep." Davey stopped suddenly, dipping two fingers into the edge of the case to slide it closer to him, "Leave this and go get cleaned up." He picked up the case, turning to Lauren's.

I felt my heart pound against my rib cage, threatening to break it. I swallowed down my dry throat and forced myself to speak, "It's just hard, Davey. I've carried Montreal with me everyday and smothered it under as many layers of scotch I could dump over the memories." I paused, staring at the metal table top, "It's hard letting her in." I met his eyes as he stared at me, hands on the two gun cases, "It's hard because I do love her. I am afraid because I have fallen in love with her faster than I was certain was humanly possible. I love her more than I ever loved him and it's easier if I keep her at an arm's length, but when I do it kills me when all I want is too be as close to her as I can." I stopped when I felt the tears edge closer to falling.

Davey remained in his spot, "Fear only holds you back, Bo. You know that better than anyone else. Lauren has no fear. She is a survivor and a fighter. She has always fought for what she wants, and I can tell she will fight you to the end and with you every step of the way."

The quick clicks of the cases being shut scared me, making me blink. Letting a few tears slip out. I couldn't bring myself to look at my old friend. His words were hard hitting truths. I returned to staring at the swirling scratches on the metal table. Daveys voice was distant, he was close to the door I had entered.

"Bo, let go. She will be there to catch you when you do as she already has." The tone in his voice was the same one he used when he held me in the Montreal hospital room, letting me cry and scream. He was the only one I let get close to me that day and the following days after.

I closed my eyes and waited for the soft click letting me know I was now completely alone in the room.

I let out a sigh mixed with a half sob and leaned on to my elbows, enjoying the cool feel of the metal. Letting go would be a thousand times harder than loving the blonde Senator who had my heart.

I took a few minutes to collect myself. Straightening up and taking one last look at her target and mine sitting next to each other. Lauren could handle herself, she proved it to me with this target and the story of survival in her own home. I ran my fingers over the rounded but ragged edges of the holes before walking towards the elevator.

Smashing the three button, I put my hands on my hips and watched the red digital display count up from B to three. I took a deep breath and wondered if there were any penguins at the zoo for me to meet. Maybe I could ask them about my dreams and what they meant.


	13. Chapter 13

Smoothing out the sleeves of the dark blue linen shirt I exchanged my old pub shirt for, I wondered if showing up Bo at the range would work like I had hoped. I did not want to embarrass her or anger her further, I wanted to prove a point. That point being I could handle myself and hiring her was for far more reasons than what she focused on when her temper flared.

I hired her for her intelligence, her observation skills and that she did value human life in a job where lives were tossed to the wayside at a moment's notice, all in the name of protection.

I walked around the corner to the series of bland black lockers lined up like waiting soldiers. Hanging the suit bag with Bo's set of clothes on a locker door; I ran my hand down the soft plastic of the bag. The soft yet scratchy feel of the patterned fabric felt soothing against my palm. I honestly had no wish to go to the exhibit opening. Ignoring stacking emails from Robert Fields and his assistants pleasantly requesting my presence, but then the tension in the house between Bo and I grew exponentially. It was time to break up the back and forth with some space and fresh air, as a result a mega billionaire oil mogul and one of my main campaign contributors got his wish to have me stand next to him as he cut the ribbon.

Tucking the small duffel bag with the remaining items Bo would need to clean up completely in preparation for this impromptu dog and pony show under the suit bag, I left the locker room. I could hear the elevator beginning to pull upwards. Telling me that Bo was on her way up from the range.

I wanted to give her some privacy.

I trailed down the hallways that eventually took me to the small private lounge for executive clients. I moved to the large plush leather couch, underneath a series of heavily tinted windows that allowed me to look out but no one could look in. Alternating my gaze between the news scrolling across the large flat screen television and my emails, I thought about Bo. In truth, Bo was always in my thoughts over the last day or so ever since I went to her and we kissed.

We were complicated, yes, I could agree with her statement. This thing that was between us swung like a pendulum. Moving from foolish romantic feelings straight out of a drug store romance novel to the other end. One of a harsh reality. A reality in a world that had hit us both deceptively hard, tainting the ideas of what we wanted and what we thought we could have.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, sifting through emails on the phone. I was entertaining the idea of sitting down with Davidek in private and asking him about the Montreal incident and why it continued to hold so much power over Bo. I was running out of ways to show her that I cared and could be trusted enough to allow her to let go of what happened that day and what happened with Callum. If it wasn't me who received her heart, at least I could be the one to give it that first breath of a new life.

The sound of a helicopter dull throbbing blades drew me away from the phone and up to the television screen. Idle news reports of financial statuses across the country and what the capital was doing to improve or ruin the economy was presented by a chipper blonde anchor. I stared at the perfect coif of the anchor woman half listening but still thinking about Bo. I was slowly resigning to the fact I may not be the one to reach Bo. As much as I felt for her and knew I was falling in love with her, I couldn't tell if it was consistently mutual. There were moments when she looked at me that it shook me down to the deep core of my heart and I could see the profession of love from both of us inches away, and then she would turn. Her temper flickering and things getting muddled in the personal hell she held herself in everyday.

Self-preservation, protection, fear, or cowardice. I would never be able to tell unless I read her deeper and poked around in the dark caverns of the mind of the brunette who enraptured most of my daily thoughts. The one nagging thought riding at the far end of my mind pushed to the front for a second, was she worth it?

I blew out a quick breath as my heart answered in the second that thought hit my conscience, yes Bo was worth it. Worth every backhanded compliment, very breathtaking look she offered my way and worth digging into the trenches with her as she fought me and the past. I would have to show her and continue to show her every possible way I knew how.

The quiet throbbing blades of the helicopter flew past the windows, breaking my trance of Bo and the news, allowing me to return to the phone. I would have to figure Bo out in the next few days before I returned to D.C. We both would have to figure out the path we would carry out from that point on and not return or dwell on the option we left behind. I was willing to take on complicated with her, but I was not willing to sit and wait forever until she decided the past was not worth wasting a future.

My logical mind started crafting all the possibilities a heart to heart with Bo would go, when an email from Ivan popped on to the screen. I tapped at the icon. I had expected his final report on the IP address breaches both at the Malibu home and the D.C. Home

_-Lauren_

_All of the connections are clean. I rooted out all of the bugs and possible intrusions. Resealed all of the firewalls and upped them to triple the security level. All of the files were scanned and came up clean and unhampered with. The Criterion hub was virtually untouched, but I upped that security as well and reissued new passwords._

_The only weird thing that I found was when I traced the initial breach it went all way back to the CIA and their fringe counter intelligence hacking unit. A unit full of white hat and black hat hackers hired to do all the dirty work of protection and theft in the name of national security._

_I made a few inquiries in a few of my groups. The CIA medical research group was the one who put in the request for the intel unit to go digging. I know what you are thinking; yea it is a cyber-attack on you. But this shit is so black ops and so buried in lies, there would be no way for you to prove it ever happened without revealing yourself._

_The medical group, codenamed Beekeeper, is desperate to get their hands on your research and work. My guys in the wires told me that the CIA wants it to continue working on small units of super soldiers to do the work the Navy seals, the army rangers and any given super military squad does, but faster and without casualty. I didn't believe it until they sent me the broken bits of an erased file they rebuilt. I am forwarding that to your home computer for you to review._

_It's not good Lauren, the government is getting antsy you won't give them the cookies they think they deserve. They are pushing hard if they are using the grey world workers._

_I will keep things locked down and you in the loop._

_Ivan-_

I squeezed the phone typing out a quick thank you to Ivan. After hitting send, I left my vista of the skyscrapers and palm trees and headed back to the locker room. I would have to fill Bo in on Ivan's findings. There were a handful of government representatives expected at the exhibit opening today. Fields did contribute all across the board since he was pro-republican and pro-military. I tapped the phone against my palm as I rode the elevator back to the locker room. I began wondering if the sudden hard push from both of my enemies was connected. The religious groups were increasing their attacks at the same time the government agencies were.

Opening the locker room door, I heard Bo rattling doors. I shuffled around the corner, "Bo, I need to talk to you before we leave for the zoo. Ivan provided me with some interesting information."

I paused when my eyes drifted from the floor and up to Bo buttoning up the top of her dark fitted jeans. A towel still wrapped around her top half. I felt the air fall from my lungs at the sight of her still wet hair draped around her shoulders. Leaving wet droplets to roll down the curve of her shoulder and to the top curve of her breasts. One particular water droplet moved in slow motion, rolling and settling at the edge where the towel and breast met. Teasing my photographic memory with this snapshot I knew would hang in my memory for longer than was healthy and making me very envious of the droplet. Touching the skin I suddenly wanted to touch. Bo glanced at me from the side, a light smile as she reached for the pale Begonia colored chambray shirt I had left for her. "I'm listening."

I nodded, "Ivan was able to trace the breaches back to a sub sect of the CIA. A medical research and development group called Beekeeper who desperately want me to share my notes and work with them." I leaned against the closest locker, swiping open the email so I could refer to it, "There will be a few representatives from an assorted agencies at the zoo. I need you to keep your ears open. I will introduce you to a few of them as we go along." I scrolled through the email, re-reading it for the fifteenth time.

I looked up at Bo just as she dropped the towel from her top half. Letting it tumble into her hand as she turned her back to me, reaching into the duffel bag for a bra. When I caught the curve of the side of her naked breast, my palms grew sweaty and it felt like the temperature in the room suddenly went nuclear. I could feel the blush move up my neck and settle around my cheeks.

Bo kept her back to me as she dressed, "Anything in particular you would like me to listen in on? Keywords? Or would you like me to interrogate them all."

I was distracted by the way the toned muscles in her shoulders and back moved. I was all out staring at the woman's bare back letting my mind imagine what it would be like to run my fingers over her. Bo was beyond beautiful. The effect she had on me was unlike any other I had ever experience. She set my body and mind on fire with desire more often than not. Sneaking a look at her half-naked made me feel like a teenager at the peak of blossoming hormones.

Bo turned to face me after she hooked her bra on and began to pull on the dress shirt. Her eyes moved from the buttons she was working on to settle on mine. A small smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth, letting the dimple on that side show.

I was caught. I focused on the black metal locker door I was leaning on, trying to recover.

"Um. I think, just listen to conversations and see if anyone is wishing to dig deeper." I cleared my throat, "This will be the first time I introduce you as my assistant. You will receive a fair amount of attention." I grasped my phone tightly, forwarding the email to Bo, "You can read the email from Ivan on the way in."

"I think I can handle it." Bo's voice came across soft and full of bravado. Obviously enjoying she had caught me staring at her.

I nodded quickly, "Of course." I freed the locker door from my body weight. Standing up straight I nervously smoothed out my shirt ending right as the hem met the top of my khaki colored dress jeans. "When you're ready, I will meet you by the Cadillac."

Turning to make the rear exit, Bo spoke, stopping me, "Lauren. I understand what you are trying to do." The soft rustle of the suit bag filled the pause, "I am not used to the kindness, the care you have shown. I want to apologize for getting mad earlier." I heard her suck in a breath, "I don't know how to do this."

I half turned to look at the brunette, her dark brown eyes soft and looking in mine for affirmation and acceptance. "If either of us knew how to do this, it wouldn't be this hard Bo. I am with you every step of the way. What I am trying to do is get you to listen and hear that I am here for you." It was my turn to take a quick breath, speaking as gently as I could, "But understand patience is not always my best virtue." I issued a tight lipped smile when I saw in Bo's eyes that she understood what I meant. I could not always bend to the way the woman looked at me. I had to gently warn her that I could not continue to endure her pendulum swings for as long as it suited her.

I left the locker room leaving Bo with her head hung down nodding as she whispered a barely audible, "I know, Lauren."

* * *

XXXXXX

Checking myself in the mirror by the showers I felt and looked like I was a trophy wife setting on a weekend trip to the Hamptons. I was far more used to the standard black polyester suits of an agent during my work days, then old tired jeans and nice t-shirts from the Gap. I pulled back my hair into a loose ponytail, with the clothes Lauren provided me I now looked like I stepped out of an Ann Taylor catalog. The clothes were nice, but far from my taste and comfort level.

I did smile as I put my ratty jeans and t-shirt in the duffel bag, Lauren did have an eye for what looked good on me and the perfect fit. She also had a dedicated eye when it came to scanning over my half-naked body when I tossed the towel aside to finish dressing while she spoke about emails and Ivan.

The excuse to myself was it was a locker room, giving me free reign to stand naked as the day I was born if need be. Maybe it was payback for the awkward moment when I walked in on her standing in her room running her slender fingers over toned abs that I knew I would dream about.

The honest truth was I wanted to test Lauren and bring out that slight sparkle in her eyes I had seen in the seconds after we kissed. I had not seen it since I lost my cool at the house and I wanted to know if I could still spark her interest. It was a dumb childish move but it was a small victory when I saw her blush and unable to tear her eyes away from me. I needed something to grasp on to and hold on to while I slowly grew the balls to talk about Montreal with her. I was being lippy and an insufferable dick to the one person who had given me just about her everything since that first day I sat awkwardly on her fancy couch.

My smile faded when my hand wrapped around the duffel bag strap. Lauren's last words before she left the locker room hanging in my head. My fear was testing her patience. I knew it and had known it when I cooled down before we came to Davey's building then reaffirmed with Davey's big brotherly advice. His advice was the catalyst to confess my feelings about the stubborn and kind Senator. I was in love with her; I knew that for a fact now. I could not talk myself out of it even in the shower and the first few minutes of sitting on the cold bench in front of the locker afterward. I could not come up with any excuse or reason why it was anything more than just love. Pure, simple yet very complicated love for another person. Lauren had me completely, but I was still petrified.

I hefted the duffel bag and closed the locker; I had to make a decision. A decision that was one of the hardest I had to make in a long time and I had to do it before Rebecca came back to the fold and the three of us headed back to D.C.

One thing was for certain, I did not want to sit through another minute of puppy dog looks from Rebecca directed at Lauren.

I chuckled, "Jealousy. The first sign of defeat in keeping my heart locked away."

I had never been jealous in my life. Minutely envious as a child and a teenager when my friends showed off their new toys or the latest pair of fancy sneakers, but never fully jealous. I was raised to understand that jealousy was plainly born out an inability or lack of want to work for what others had. Instead I worked hard and reaped my own rewards. In turn I made others jealous of what I had achieved in my life. I was never jealous of Callum when his attention was distracted from me, even near the end.

Now I was harboring jealous feelings, primarily towards Rebecca. All because she once had what I now wanted. Lauren. The jealousy I carried was leaving me feeling different. Different in the way one feels when they discover a new food or a new flavor of one never before experienced.

For me, jealousy was that new flavor and I was trying to find how if fit on my taste buds and if I could hold on to the bitter aftertaste or man up and spit it out.

I found Lauren standing outside by the car with Davey. Both were leaning against the trunk of the Cadillac. Chatting easily as lifelong friends did. I squinted and brought my hand up to block the sun from my eyes so I could actually see where I was going. Once shaded from the bright sun, my eyes moved on their own. Catching how the light seemed to grace Lauren like perfectly angled stage lights. She faced the sun, her aviators reflecting back sharp bursts of sunlight as she laughed at what I could only assume was one of Davey's dumb jokes. The light wind fluttered around her linen shirt and it to me a minute to realize I was staring hard at her even though I was walking towards her. Taking in the small features the sun painted out for me. Like the small dimple under her bottom lip when grinned, the way she slowly tucked loose strands of blonde hair behind ear then smoothed it out nervously to maintain the prim Senator look she was trying to keep. And finally the way she slowly turned my way, the muscles in her neck staining with the growing grin on her face when she saw me.

Even though I couldn't see her eyes, I felt them on me. Forcing me to take a sharp breath and swallow my heart back down my throat.

Jealousy had been step one, step two was shortness of breath and a heightened heart rate.

"There she is. I was beginning to think you were going to sulk in a corner all day about coming in second place, Bo." Davey's dumb mocking grin flashed at me when he looked in the same direction as Lauren.

I rolled my eyes at Davey, dumping the duffel bag in the Cadillac's back seat, "I don't sulk, Davey."

"Actually I can recall one or two times I caught you crying in your ginger ale during your first few weeks in the field." Davey squinted at me after pulling his glasses down to the end of his nose, "Particularly when Adams pulled the Congress detail over you."

I folded my arms and gave him a dirty look, "Only because his dad was golf buddies with the Minority Whip at the time. I tested higher than him." I fluttered a hand at Davey, "Moot point now."

He chuckled, "Sulking. Anyways, you girls are all set." He shoved off from the spot he leaned against, "Bo, your gun is in the middle console. Cleaned and I replaced the front sights. You were off to the left a hair." Davey pushed up his sunglasses, "Lauren, always a pleasure to see you. I hope you stop by before you truck it back to old man winter in D.C.:

"Of course I will, Davidek." Lauren accepted the open arms of Davey and hugged him tightly.

When the two parted, Lauren walked to the driver's side. I went to suggest I drive her to the zoo but was interrupted by Davey.

"Bo, remember. First on your doorstep." He threw me one of his secret don't fuck it up looks then grinned, "You should also stop by before you leave. I have a few shooting tips that might get you out of second place." He winked at me, tugged on his tie and left the lot. I rolled my eyes at his perfectly tailored back as he disappeared into the black building.

I reached into the open passenger side door, opening the middle console to reveal my gun sitting in its holster. Clean and brand new night sights on it. After it was secured in my waistband, I sat down in the plush leather seat.

Lauren wasted no time in starting and backing the car out of the parking space.

The air was thick and awkward between us. It was beginning to be a trend that we would go from easy breezy to so thick you could cut it with an axe. I felt compelled to break it by turning on the radio, but Lauren beat me to the touch screen. Tapping a few buttons as she drove out of the lot and towards the main road, the screen was quickly filled with a photograph of a middle aged man with slicked back salt and pepper and a deep bronze tan.

"That is Robert Fields. He owns just over seventy-five percent of the oil fields and processing plants in Texas. He is a staunch conservative new wave republican who has supported me from day one." Lauren pressed a button on the steering wheel, causing the screen to flicker and throw a few more images on the screen. Overhead shots of land, images of Fields standing next to Lauren shaking hands on a stage draped in Americana, and lastly there was scrolling lines of words.

"He loves me because I am pro-military, pro-freedom of choice from planned parenthood all the way up to deciding if you want marry your cow. That's where the new wave of his conservative ways come in, he is a mix of libertarian and republican, always touting that we should have our own free will and choice in life, instead of relying on one party or leader to govern us all."

I looked at the man who looked more like a greasy car salesman than a billionaire oil man, "Does he know about your work at the Criterion Centre?"

Lauren shook her head, focusing on the traffic before her, "No one does outside of you, Rebecca and the handful of trusted employees at the centre. Everyone else barely remembers that I am a doctor. They just focus on my Senator title and use that to their advantage." Lauren pressed the button allowing the images to shift on the screen, "Fields is trusted, he constantly throws money my way not understanding that my campaigning is funding privately by my inheritance. I usually just funnel his contributions down to whatever veteran charity that needs it most." She looked over at me quickly, "When I mean he loves me, he loves me. He tends to get handsy and grabby." Lauren shrugged, "Just listen to him when he talks. Field is deeply tied into the military and loves to boast about the secrets he hears. I need to find out through him if there is a little more interest in my work at the centre that I should be worried about."

I turned back to the photograph on the in car screen, the sudden urge to punch the man filled my body. Jealousy and anger filled my body at the thought someone would dare to lay an unwanted hand on Lauren. "Great." I mumbled under my breath, I had heard the rest of what she said and it was filed away into my mind to pick up on any keywords spoken in my presence at this event. I would also have to refrain from lashing out if I saw a greasy billionaire place one hand on Lauren on any part of her body where polite company would not necessarily appreciate.

"Bo, I can handle it. Usually a firm word will get him to keep his hands to himself." Lauren picked up on my grumblings. Frustrating me more that she was able to decipher almost everything I did that I thought was hidden. Lauren did something and the screen changed back over to the GPS map. "The rest of the guest I will fill you in on as we meet them. Other than that, this will be an easy and fun event."

I looked out the window as we pulled into the front gates of the zoo, "Nothing is ever fun and easy at politically geared events."

* * *

XXXXXX

Bo stood next to me, closely. I felt her elbow brush mine as we exited the car and I handed the keys off to the valet. I glanced at her and watched her scan the crowd. She stopped on clusters of Secret Service agents crowded around a side entrance. It was obvious they had been asked to stay on the outside of the event to allow those they protected inside to move freely and drink as much of the free booze provided without a chaperon. I knew there would be at least one other Senator and a couple Congress members at the exhibit opening. Fields supported much of the Republican party and it would show in the political power faces that drifted past any of his parties or events.

I set my hand on Bo's elbow, grabbing her attention, "Let's head inside. Tell me if you see anything."

Bo nodded, moving away from my hand, "I just see some old co-workers that I would like to avoid if possible" She smiled tightly and motioned for me to go first into the main reception area of the zoo.

The reception area was decorated with a polar ice cap theme. Cool blues and whites, large banners of the zoo announcing the newest exhibit with photographs of the pair of polar bears that would now call San Diego home. There was a large ice sculpture in the back of a massive polar bear on its hind legs surrounded by fruit and other random food items. The room was full of the rich and the powerful doing their best to mingle and network. This was a typical event that I had attended a hundred times in the years I became Senator. I hated these types of events but understood they were necessary.

I took a deep breath, slid into my Senator persona and grabbed the first vodka on the rocks that was offered to me by a smiling waiter. I heard Bo clear her throat and when I looked at her, she was raising an eyebrow motioning to the drink in my hand. "Drinking on the job?"

I laughed, "I won't actually drink it. Pour some of it out in a plant or two, but people get curious when they see me without a drink in my hand." I swirled the drink with the silly polar bear stirrer in the glass, "It's all part of playing the part."

Bo gave me a look, stopped another waiter who was carrying a tray of water in a silly ice-cube shaped glasses. She grabbed the glass of vodka in my hand and set it on the tray and replaced it with a glass of water. Taking one herself she thanked the waiter, sending him on his way. "Sometimes you don't always have to play the part so true to character." Sipping on the water she winked at me, "Plus god forbid if someone saw you dumping vodka in a plant, the headlines would have a day with the plant killing Senator."

I laughed again, taking a large sip of my water when I heard the slow, deep southern drawl come my way.

"There she is, the belle of the ball."

I turned to see Fields making a beeline for Bo and I. He was grinning to the point his bleached white teeth almost blinded me when they reflected snippets of the sun filtering through the skylights.

I swallowed and threw on my best smile for the tanned man coming my way. When he was close, I took his massive tanned hand, shaking it, "Mr. Fields, always a joy to see you."

Fields winked, grin still shining bright, "Senator Lewis, the pleasure is and should always be mine. How many times have I told you, Lauren! Call me Bobby. We are in polite friendly company here." He casually glanced at Bo before returning his focus on me. "I cannot tell you how ecstatic I was when Suzy told me you had finally replied to the invites." He held on to my hand a little longer when the handshake had definitely come to its end. "I know you are on vacation from the capital but I could not resist having the most beautiful and brightest Senator this republican has ever seen at this great event."

Fields stared at me in a way that made my skin crawl. I had avoided him for almost a year. I had last seen him and was last groped by him at the President's ball right before Christmas last year. I instantly knew he would not be leaving me alone as easily as before. It would be a day full of firm words and enduring inappropriate comments and touches. I gently pulled my hand from his, motioning to Bo, "Robert, I would like you to meet my new assistant. Bo Dennis, this is Robert Fields. CEO of Starfields Oil incorporated."

Bo had the biggest fake smile on her face as she held out her hand to Fields. When she greeted the man politely and shook his hands, I could see her eyes bore into him. She was taking him in all of his greasy glory and trying to hold back something I could not quite place. She looked at me when Fields told her she was prettier than a June bug in the heat of the cornfields, almost making me burst into laughter. I half listened as he commented on how strange a name Bo was for a girl and how she looked to pretty to be just an assistant. Fields was flirting with Bo and she was having none of it.

My reprieve from Fields attention didn't last long. Soon I felt his hand on my elbow, tugging at me. "Let me show you around Lauren and you can get me caught up on what you have been up to since we last danced together."

I smiled tightly, allowing the man to lead me towards the massive outdoor polar bear exhibit. I didn't have to look back at Bo to know she was right behind us. I knew that the way Fields was already staking a claim on me would cause her building jealousy to keep a watchful on eye on us. I was extremely happy, for once, at the whole idea of jealousy.

"Lauren, we need to get together more. I was starting to think your old assistant Rebecca was hiding my emails and phone calls from you. I never hear from you anymore." Fields had managed to get my arm linked into his, allowing him to pull me closer. I hated the way his overheated body made my linen shirt stick to my body. The zoo had placed outdoor fans and air conditioning throughout the exhibit to ease the fair and gentle body temperatures of the rich. But it was doing nothing to the almost two hundred plus pound man who was doing everything to rub up against me.

I pulled away just enough to let a breeze pass between Fields and I, "I apologize for that, Robert. Rebecca and I both had very full agendas from the minute last Christmas break was over until now. We had the defense budget to work with, the medical reform bill to write and of course I hate ignoring my charity work."

Fields bumped his hip into mine, "Ah of course and how is the Criterion Centre doing?" Fields looked at me with his blue eyes, the grin still on his face, "You know the buzz about that place and you has moved around the circuit lately."

I played dumb and smiled, "Oh really? I wonder why?" I sipped from my water, "The centre is just a high-end treatment center for the rich and some pro bono cases I fund them to take on every year."

Fields leaned closer to me to whisper in my ear, "Rumor has it that some of those kooky German doctors working there are doing all sorts of weird science experiments. One of my buddies told me a grand tall tale about them trying to grow arms and legs in test tubes, or organs. I can't remember, we had drunk a lot of tequila that night."

I swallowed hard, hating the way his tobacco laden breath hit my neck and filtered around to my nose. Hitting my senses and overloading them with expensive terrible cologne and illegal Cuban cigars. I steadied myself and laughed, turning away from his breath to look at Fields, "That, my dear Bobby is some silly science fiction if I have ever heard it." I threw him my most charming gaze, "The Criterion Centre is nothing more than a cancer treatment facility and can I tell you a secret?" I leaned closer to him, batting my eyelashes.

Fields grinned wider, letting his hand move from my arm to clutch sweaty at my hand, "You know you can tell me anything my Texas rose."

I clenched through my smile at the way his sweat stuck to my hand. I looked around secretively before leaning closer to his ear, "The biggest secret of that place is that celebrities come there for secret plastic surgery procedures and to recover." I leaned back, "Nothing more than aging movie stars hiding their new noses from the world, Bobby." I squeezed his hand, "I would never lie to you, you know that right?"

Fields chuckled, dropping my hand so he could gently slap my shoulder, "Well how about that!" He then slid his arm around my waist and pulled me against his side, "And of course I know you would never lie to me Lauren, that is why you are my favorite Senator and lady." He started walking the last few steps to the large polar exhibit, "I told my buddy he was being crazy. You know I think he has watched a few too many old episodes of the X-files while he reads his daily debriefing."

I laughed with Fields. I could feel Bo close behind us and I could almost feel her jaw clench at the simple flirty back and forth I was indulging in. I hoped she understood I was only doing it to keep Fields pouring out the information he was. I nudged Fields with my shoulder, "Where does your buddy work, Bobby?"

"He works over at the CIA as a military liaison for the Army." Fields squeezed my side, "He is a drunk and I think his imagination has gotten the best of him over the years. He works in the Special Operations section. Basically he is a glorified secretary for the research and development groups." Fields and I stopped at the edge of the open air exhibit, "You know if you ever took me up on that standing dinner date I asked you on a few months ago, I could arrange you two to meet and a whole lot of tequila."

The open air exhibit had a small handful of the event guests milling about. Looking in the small caves and the water, hoping to spot a fluffy white polar bear. I went to pull away from Fields to lean against the railing but he had a tight grip on me, I looked at him with a smile, "I will have to take a look at my schedule after the break. You know how busy it is in the winter right before the fiscal year end report."

Fields looked over his shoulder at Bo who was doing her best to look at the exhibit without making it too obvious she was watching us and scanning the rest. Fields whispered in my ear again, "How about you tell your little assistant to go find us some drinks and we can have a real conversation."

I felt his hand slide from my waist down to my hip and then to rest on my bum with a squeeze of a meaty hand. I jumped slightly at the intensity that he squeezed me. Fields had grabbed me but was never this blatantly aggressive.

I turned to say something when I heard him yelp and the hand on my bum was gone. Leaving a cool spot where his once hot sweaty hand had been.

I turned to see Bo inches away from Fields with the fingers of his right hand wrapped in her hand and yanking in a very covert way. She eyed him hard and whispered so only the three of us heard, "Listen, I know you can probably buy and sell me a thousand times over. But if you continue to lay unwanted hands on the Senator, I will make it so the fingers on your right hand will never face the same way again." She twisted his hand in hers, making him yelp again, "She doesn't like it and for a man from the south, you should be minding your manners and notice when a lady isn't too keen on your grabby paws."

Fields looked at me with wide eyes and then back at Bo.

"Do you understand me Bobby? Leave the Senator alone." Bo twisted again, making Fields nod quickly.

"I understand."

Bo dropped his hand, "Now apologize to the Senator and leave us be to enjoy the exhibit you so kindly paid for." Bo stepped back to give him room.

Fields pulled his hand close to his body, rubbing the sore fingers with his other hand, "Senator. I apologize if I was a bit uncouth. Ms. Dennis is correct, my mother did raise me better." He smiled tightly, "I do hope you find me later for a drink before you leave." He looked between Bo and I, "Enjoy the exhibit and the event ladies." He then turned and hustled away from us.

I blew out a slight laugh, "Bo."

She turned, her hand up and shaking her hand, "I know, but I don't care that he owns half the country and half of the government." Her eyes met mine and I could see the jealousy and concern, "I could not take one minute longer of him grabbing at you like that. Touching you like you were a stripper and pawing at you." Her jaw clenched, "I am sure Rebecca would have handled it differently than almost breaking his fingers."

I moved closer to Bo, my hand settling on her upper arm, "Rebecca ignored it. Let it happen and then we would fight about it in the car." I sighed, "I only entertain him because he usually lets things slip when he is focused on undressing me with his eyes."

Bo nodded, "I know. I heard what he said about the centre. It is interesting for sure, about his buddy." She stepped away from my hand, folding her arms, "I just couldn't stand to watch him touch you." She held my eyes, "I will never be able to handle watching anyone but me touch you." Her voice dropped lower at the last few words. Bo tore her eyes away from mine.

The simple words sucked the air out of my lungs and made my heart begin a quick ascent to rest in the middle of my throat, my lips parted to say something in return when a cheery zoo employee walked up to us.

"Excuse me Senator Lewis, I was wondering if you and your assistant would like to take a tour of the exhibit?"

I smiled shakily in return, still mingled in the words Bo uttered and was now trying to avoid by staring at the massive water tank in front of us. "I think we are fine."

The cheery young girl cocked her head, "Are you sure? We have a great exhibit where you can watch a group of penguins swim and feed them." She looked at her watch, "It's lunch time, so the whole lot of them will be out and ready to be fed."

I shook my head and went to refuse again when Bo spoke up.

"Did you say penguins?" Bo's voice was soft, looking at the girl with a confused look.

"Yes, ma'am. We have about thirty or forty of them in this exhibit. All of them are very friendly."

Bo looked up at me, "I think we should go Senator Lewis. It will be a fun experience." The tone in her voice told me that I couldn't disagree and any further conversation would be put on hold.

I put my fake smile back on, "Of course." I turned to the girl, "Please lead the way."

Bo and I followed the cheery and excited girl to the other side of the exhibit. Listening to her chat about the numerous qualities and quirks of penguins. Also informing us the zoo had one of the only public feeding area for the small arctic birds.

I listened intently, hoping it would chase away what Bo had said and the things I wanted to say back. We walked into a cool room that led into another open air area that looked like a polar iceberg. There was a large standing and sitting area where there was another young man wearing high rubber boots and setting big blue buckets of fish in front of he benches.

The girl led us to the bench and motion us to put on the spare pairs of boots that sat in front, she waved at the young man, "Keaton here will be your guide, so to speak, in feeding the little guys. Just listen to what he tells you and have fun." She turned to Keaton, "This is Senator Lewis and her assistant Bo Dennis. They want to feed the kids."

Keaton laughed and waved us over, "Come on over then. They are hungry today." Keaton went on to tell us that the penguins were Emperor penguins and how long the zoo had them for. He went through the small details of the breed and what the different coloring's they held meant. When I would sneak looks at Bo, I saw her face light up more as she digested each little fact about the birds.

Bo and I stood on either side of Keaton as he explained how to feed the penguins. "Hold the fish by the tail and hold it out. The penguins know how to take the fish as gentle as possible. Some may get over excited and nip at your fingers." He pointed at the buckets set in front of us, "They will also try to pilfer the buckets. If they do I will take care of them."

I nodded that I understood the instructions when Bo spoke, "Can we pet them?"

I smiled and looked at Bo, she sounded like a little kid for a second.

Keaton pulled on giant gloves, "I don't recommend searching it out, the penguins are usually dead set on eating and then swimming away. A couple of them might get sassy if you try to interrupt lunch time." He smiled at Bo as he set a bucket closer to her, "But if one comes up to you and squeaks, it is their way of saying pet me."

Keaton set another bucket in front of me, then walked over to the wall and hit a button. I could hear a cage being lifted followed by a quiet stampede of little flippers on wet concrete. Two seconds later and the tiny cave in front of us filled with penguins in all shapes, sizes and varying colors of black and white.

I took a step back at the sight of the tiny stampede. The penguins knew we had they fish and charged us as fast as their roly poly bodies could move. I grabbed a fish and held it out like Keaton showed us, laughing as the first penguin took it eagerly then looked at me for more.

I fed penguin after another, each one taking the fish gently than staring at me for another. I turned to Bo and couldn't help but grin at the brunette. She was kneeling down, both hands filled with fish and she was laughing. Genuinely laughing so much the grin on her face was as bright as the white accents in the exhibit. She turned to me and I saw the dimple on her right cheek. So deep it was like a second smile on the woman's face. She giggled and blushed when another penguin squawked at her for fish.

I was lost in how beautiful Bo was in that moment. Truly happy and laughing like she was. It was something I was not sure I would ever see from her. The only other time I saw her this close to happy was after our first kiss, but the dimple faded just as quick when reality set in. Here, as she fed penguins, there was no reality or harsh memories. Nothing but cute little birds squawking for stinky fish. I wanted to be the one to make her smile like that every day, I wanted to make her happy, I wanted to love her. In that split second I knew for certain I was in love with the giggling, grinning woman knee-deep in fish and penguins.

Keaton handing me the last couple of fish in the bucket brought me back to the moment, "Senator Lewis, these are the last two. The kids are fed and fat and if you and Ms. Dennis would like, you can help me herd them back into the cage for them to do their after lunch swim."

"Yes of course." I followed Keaton, mimicking his arm movements to get the penguins back towards the cave opening. Bo was still handing out the last few fish in her hand and stood up, Keaton telling her the same herding instructions.

Bo was still grinning, moving her arms to shoo the last remaining birds back into the cave.

When we got the last few back towards the cave, Keaton pulled off his rubber gloves, turning to face us, "You two did a great job, if you follow the steps you took in and make a right. It will take you to the from of the exhibit and you can watch the kids swim around." He held out his hand to shake mine, "It was an honor to meet you Senator Lewis."

He turned to do the same to Bo but was paused by a shrill squeaking coming from the cave. All three of us looked at the small entrance and saw a medium-sized penguin coming waddling back out. Keaton laughed and shook his head, "There is always one piggy in the group. That's Norbert, one of the babies of the group."

He went to shoo the penguin back when it weaved through his legs and ran up to Bo. Squeaking and flapping his little wings at Bo. Bo grinned and knelt down to the little bird, "Hey Norbert, I don't have anymore fish." She held out her hand to show the bird.

What the bird did next surprised all of us. He leaned his little head forward into Bo's hands and squeaked excitedly and moved closer to Bo. Fluttering his wings and making content purs and squeaks. Bo was frozen for a second until Keaton nodded it was okay. Bo ran her hands over the shiny black head, making the bird push closer to her. It almost appeared Norbert wanted a hug from the woman.

Keaton laughed, "I have never seen any of our penguins do that. The closest anyone has ever gotten is a squeak and head bump against the leg to show they like us." He pointed at Bo and the happy little bird in her hands, "Norbert must really like and trust you. He is a little timid since he had an issue with one of the older males and was attacked right after he was born. Norbert tends to hide in the back a lot."

Bo was looking at the happy little bird she was petting, grinning, "Well I really like him and trust him too." The bird stopped his fluttering and squeaking to look right up at Bo. For a moment I swore something passed between the two as they looked eye to eye. The bird squawked one more time, turned and waddled back to the cave entrance. Bo stood up, her eyes latched on to the cave until the sound of the cage being lowered pulled her back to Keaton and I.

Keaton smiled at Bo, "You should be honored, penguins rarely show much affection to anyone but the ones they mate with."

Bo raised her eyebrow, "Did that little guy just make me his mate?"

Keaton laughed, "Oh no, he's still a baby. Just over a year old. His mom and dad were the large ones with orange and yellow accents." He grabbed the empty buckets, "I am not a penguin expert, but I think you just made a brand new lifelong friend." He shifted the buckets in hands, "I am certain if you come back little Norbert will remember you."

Keaton thanked us again after taking us back to the entrance that would lead to the front of the huge water tank. Bo said nothing, her lingering grin said everything as she walked to stand in front of the massive swim tank that was full of fat and happy penguins.

She pressed a hand against the Plexiglas and watched intently. Standing next to her I held on to the small railing set before the tank. Bo looked at me, her eyes softer than they ever had before, "I have been dreaming about penguins for the last few months. Mainly when I was coming out of a drunken stupor or when I was beyond exhausted. They would show up in my dreams asking me to swim with them or just sit with me." She turned back to the tank as a penguin moved like a bullet through the water, "I have no idea what it means."

I smiled, watching Bo, "Dreams mean a lot of things Bo. Animal dreams can me a multitude of things. In the spiritual and metaphysical world dreaming of a penguin means it that animal is your spirit animal. Giving you guidance at a time in your life when you need it."

I moved closer to Bo, "If I recall a penguin in your dream suggests that you are being weighed down by your emotions or by a negative situation. The dream is letting you know that you need to find a way to balance yourself and return to harmony within. If a penguin swims across your path, it means there is order in the chaos around you." I took a steady breath, "In the traditional romantic sense penguins mate for life and search out their one true and live alone until they have found the perfect one." I lowered my voice, everything about these penguins was what Bo seemed to be going through in her life. It made my heart ache when I recited the last part, Bo was searching out a place for her heart since she lost Callum. She had stopped searching or caring to find that one true love when it appeared she had it and lost it.

I could tell in the way she dropped her head, that she understood it too. "Sneaky little bastards." Bo took a step back from the tank, her hand sliding away from the Plexiglas, "Maybe Norbert was trying to make me his girlfriend."

I reached out, placing my hand on her forearm, "Or Norbert can sense you are a protector, that you will protect the ones you care and love. Maybe it was his way of thanking you for being one of the few who protect and love with everything they have."

She took a deep breath, stuffing her hands in the front pockets of her jeans breaking my hand free from her, "Shall we head back to the party and mingle Senator Lewis?"

I sighed, Bo obviously would pick and choose the moments she would open up to me. It was frustrating and if we weren't in the middle of a large public event, I would force her to talk to me. Resolve the back and forth we kept indulging in and come to a final decision. I hated ultimatums but I was falling in love with the brunette and I would not keep playing an unnecessary game with her.

"Yes, one more round and we can make a polite exit." I ran a hand over my hair, tucking loose strands behind my ear, "We need to be back at the house by six, that Agent Carlton is coming by the house to debrief and update me on the most recent attack." I watched Bo shut her eyes tight, "I forgot about Carlton."

I wanted to reach out to Bo but decided against it, she would just pull away from me and ignore my attempts to comfort or be there for her. "I will do it alone in the sitting room, you won't have to be there." I slipped into the Senator voice unintentionally and Bo caught it. A painful look came across her face as I smiled tightly and walked back out to the party. This game between us would have to end, and end tonight. In the bottom of my heart I knew it would end in me closing the woman off and letting her sit in her self-imposed misery. I was in love with her, but I loved her enough to let her go.

* * *

XXXXXXXXX

The air returned to thick and tense between us the moment we returned to the party in the huge reception area of the zoo. I knew it was partly my fault that Senator Lewis was back on even when we were alone. I shut down from my nerdy happiness of sharing a hug with a penguin when Lauren started telling me the dream meaning of penguins and the romance they carried. I had some small beliefs in the metaphysical world and how everything had some sort of meaning. Davidek was the first person to tell me about power animals and animal totems, claiming his was always a fierce whooping crane, but when I researched it on a long weekend. I began to believe he was right. Animals in dreams meant something, I just was too much of a drunk lately to care to research it deeper.

Then Norbert came along. Another sign in a laundry list of signs I had received over the last few months. I had to let go, let go of Callum, let go of Montreal and let someone in. But then my fear trumped the penguins. I was in love with Lauren and I begged for her to force me to talk about it after I almost ripped that dirty Texans fingers off.

I stood back by the cocktail bar, sipping on an ice-cold ginger ale slushy made by a bored bartender. Lauren was close, I could see it in her eyes at the tail end of me telling her I could never handle seeing anyone but me touch her. I knew the tempest of Lauren Lewis was about to hit.

Lauren moved and milled through the group of rich politicians and rich entrepreneurs who loved to influence politics. I had opted to keep my distance to avoid recognition from a few of the Congress members present. I knew most politicians rarely memorized or paid attention to the paid help, Secret Service Agents included, but I wanted to do everything I could to avoid awkward moments. I had created plenty of my own today.

Lauren was graceful as the Senator, making eye contact and listening intently on the praise and what not falling from her supporters mouths. Senator Lewis was graceful, elegant, kind and warm, but I disliked Senator Lewis now. I had experienced Lauren and that was the only side of the woman I wanted to see everyday. Senator Lewis was her alter ego that kept everyone at an arm's length and I hated it when it came my way.

Watching her laugh and hug goodbye the rich supporters happy to see her, I made the decision to fight through my crap and give Lauren every reason to continue to be herself around me. I wanted to put Senator Lewis away like a superhero cape. I wanted the Clark Kent to her superman. But I would have to stop being the asshole Lex Luthor and give her the Lois Lane she saw in me.

I giggled at my own stupid superhero reference, but it all made sense. We both were hiding behind alter egos we felt we needed to maintain to keep ourselves safe.

I stood a few steps ahead of Lauren outside the main reception hall, waiting for the valet to bring the car back. She was saying goodbye to Fields and I felt it best to keep my distance. I knew he would say something or try something that would result in me actually breaking his fingers clean off. But when I looked over my shoulder to check on his behavior, I found him staring at me and keeping at least a foot between himself and Lauren.

I turned away to laugh, I had done my job and if anything, Lauren would never have a sweaty Texan groping her at any future events. I smiled at the valet when he pulled the Cadillac up, giving him a healthy tip I turned back to Lauren, "Senator Lewis, if you are ready."

Lauren turned and nodded in acknowledgment, returning to the last few words she had for Fields. It made me curious and note to ask her about it later.

I sat in the passenger seat and waited. Slowly building the courage to speak to Lauren. I reached over and turned the radio on as she opened the driver's side door and sat down. The air was still thick and tense even as Johnny Cash did his best to croon away and fill the air with sassy lyrics and strong beats.

Folsom Prison Blues poured from the car speakers and I watched it tug at the corners of Lauren's mouth. Almost making her smile. I could tell she was tired and worn down from having to be the Senator and talk to silly and vapid people for hours on end.

I watched the blonde for a second. The way she tilted her head to the left and swayed with the strokes of the guitar. It was her subtle way of enjoying the music but not outwardly showing how much she loved the old twangy country sound.

I sat my phone and sunglasses in the cup holder, "Thank you, again for the clothes. They fit perfectly even though they aren't quite the usual for me." I absently ran a hand down the front of the pale pink material, "I never thought pink to be my color."

"Pink brings out the lighter highlights in your eyes Bo." Lauren turned slightly, looking at me through her aviators, "The color suits you Bo, and you are welcome. The zoo exhibit was last-minute, I should apologize for springing it on you."

Even though it was a compliment, it was a compliment issued from the Senator. I sighed, I had made this hard on myself and I was close to making it impossible for my heart to bear. "It's part of the job right? Last minute things." I smiled hard, "Don't apologize Lauren. I think it was good for us to leave the house for a little while." I moved in the seat, angling my body away from the blonde, "Before patience completely runs out." I spoke softly, hinting at her earlier comment at the gun range. I wanted to try to break the tension but was at a loss how.

The strong strings of Ring of Fire flooded the car. Flooding me with memories of easier days on my grandpa's farm. For once in my life I didn't think before speaking, I just opened my mouth and let go, "My grandpa was hooked on Johnny Cash from the moment the first song hit the radio back in the fifties. The summers I spent on his farm in Amish country carried a soundtrack full of johnny's greatest hits." I laughed at the sudden flash of my grandpa's rough voice poorly singing along. "He had this ancient radio he bought while he was in the Army. Tying it to the front of the old green tractor as he taught me how to drive and plow the fields." I glanced at Lauren, her smile was the same but she would look over at me, she was still listening.

"Grandpa was my inspiration for this career path. He was a MP and did some foreign dignitary work right before he was discharged. Grandpa told me his proudest day was when he stood guard over Reagan's first inauguration and met he new president. Saying his greatest moment in the career was knowing he kept the man who would change so much safe."

I picked at the stitching on the leather clad door interior, this was a story I never told anyone, "He taught me how to fight like a boy, how to read people and pick up their patterns. I was going to join the Army like he did when I was a senior in high school, but he guided me to cleaner work. Telling me one day as he handed me the Secret Service brochure mixed in with U.S. Marshals and even FBI brochures that I was too smart to hump the dirt in the army. I chose the Secret Service because I wanted to protect the people who were changing the world, my grandpa's words stuck in my head forever. I wanted to one day stand next to the president and make my grandpa proud." I smiled painfully, "He passed away two days after I graduated from the agency's academy. My last memory of him was dancing with him at the BBQ my parents held for me. Ring of Fire came on the stereo and he lit up as we danced around the backyard."

I took a slow breath, biting my lip to hold back tears, "Every time I hear Cash, it's like I feel my grandpa sitting next to me. Rooting me on and telling me the same thing he always told me, Ysa, people knock you down in life. The good ones knock you down and the pick you back up."

My hand moved from the stitching I had been nervously picking at, settling on the top of Lauren's hand where it sat on the gear shifter. "You're one of the good ones, Lauren." I swallowed the nerves filling my throat, threatening to stop my voice, "I know that I test your patience every day. My fear speaking and thinking for me." Squeezing her hand I kept on before courage was lost, "I am fearful that when I tell you about Montreal, you will change the way you think and feel about me. I will lose you." I looked up as we pulled on to the gravel driveway of the Malibu house. I could feel her hard stare through the sunglasses, "You've already changed so much of my life and for all the times you knocked me down, you've picked me up and I am better for it."

I moved my hand from hers, reaching up to pull her sunglasses slowly from her face. I wanted to look in the golden brown eyes that would set my heart free. "The biggest mistake I can make is losing you from my ignorance Lauren. I want to tell you about Montreal." I paused watching the golden browns shift back to the woman I was in love with, "You make me jealous and you take my breath away. No one has ever done that." I whispered the last few words, the look in her eyes sucked away all of my breath and courage. My body moved closer to her on its own.

Lauren leaned forward, her hand moving to the edge of my cheek. The immediate effect her touch had on my heart was evident to her as she looked down at my lips and to the vein in my neck pounding with my heart, "Listen to the penguins Bo." She leaned closer, removing the last few centimeters between us. I met her halfway, our lips connecting quickly but gently. I kissed her deeply, my hand finding purchase on her cheek to hold her against me. Our lips moved in unison, both of us seemed to pouring out the tension that we carried for the last few hours.

When I ran my tongue across her bottom lip, she opened her lips more. The tip of her tongue meeting mine. I pulled Lauren closer into the kiss and felt her moan move around our connected lips. I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt her hand move up into my hair to pull me even closer. It was my turn to moan against her mouth, this woman was giving me her everything and asking me to take it. Three times now we kissed, three kisses that were incredible and made me feel things I had never felt before. I had never been kissed like Lauren kissed me and I knew no one would ever come close. Why was I so afraid?

I slowly broke the kiss off, not to end it but to readjust. My hands moving to both sides of her face, pulling Lauren to look up at me instead of doing the usual looking down and blushing. I smiled, whispering, "Look at me, Lauren." I wanted her to look in my eyes and memorize they way she made me feel when she looked in them.

When she tilted her head up to look at me shyly, something out of the corner of my eye forced me to look from her to out the front windshield. In the middle of the driveway sat the standard boring black sedan all Secret Service agents drove while on administrative detail. A large man in a boring black suit, boring haircut, crisply shaven and black sunglasses was leaning against the trunk of the sedan. He was smoking a cigarette, looking off to the side of the house where it led down to the ocean.

I moved back from Lauren when I recognized the large man. More so recognized the arrogant way he smoked and leaned against the car. I felt my jaw clench on its own, so tightly I was certain I heard the bone threaten to snap. I dropped my hand from Lauren, she caught it before it completely left her.

"Bo, what's wrong?" The sound in her voice begged me not to shut her out again.

I looked at her hand wrapped around mine, "Carlton is here."

Lauren slowly turned to look out the front windshield, "He's early."

I leaned back in the seat, still holding her hand, "That's because he is an asshole." I licked my lips, momentarily enjoying the lingering taste of Lauren's lip gloss and warmth from her. "When he finds out I am working for you." I paused, "He's going to be brutal."

Lauren tugged on my hand to get my attention, "Then I will have to threaten to break his fingers off." She smiled, slowly pulling the car forward into its spot next to my Lincoln. Never letting go of my hand until she shut the car off and looked at me, "Give me the word, and I will have him leave."

I shook my head, "No, let's just get this over with. You're safety is more important than me ignoring a former co-worker." I squeezed her hand before letting it go. I grabbed my phone and slid on my sunglasses, pushing the door open, "But be warned I might break his fingers out of spite if given the chance."

I shoved open the door and stood up, making unfortunate direct eye contact with Carlton. Watching his smile fade into a smirk of recognition.

* * *

XXXXXXXXX

Carlton recognized Bo immediately and the way the smirk filled his face, I wanted to break his fingers and maybe his jaw. I shut the car door, "You must be Agent Carlton." I took quick steps over to the man who looked like the pure definition of a stereotypical agent. Boring and clean-shaven.

Carlton still held his smirk when he ripped his eyes away from Bo, "I am, nice to finally meet you Senator Lewis." He held out his hand to me.

I waved him off, "It's okay, I fed some penguins earlier today and my hands are still a little fishy." I motioned to the house, "If you would like, we can do this in the sitting room." I made an exaggerated look at my watch, "I only have twenty minutes before I have to attend a dinner on the other side of town." I looked back up at Carlton, "Hope that isn't a bother."

Carlton shrugged through his apparent irritation. I knew a debriefing like the one he had to present to me, would at least take close to an hour. At the same time I knew I could just have Davidek pull a few strings and give me the full debrief at a later time. "That is fine, Senator Lewis."

I looked up at Bo. She was moving quickly to the house and I could see the muscles in her jaw strain tightly against the skin surrounding her jaw. This man had an effect on her and as much as I wanted to know why, I was driven by getting him out of the house and away from her quickly. Bo opened the front door and waited for me.

I motioned to Carlton, "This way Agent Carlton."

Inside the house, Bo disappeared into the kitchen while I escorted Carlton to the sitting room. I offered him the couch while I sat across from him in a side chair. "Would you like anything to drink Agent? Water or tea?" When he sat down I could smell the thick stale cigarette scent fall from his suit coat as he took it off. I scanned over him quickly. The yellowed fingers on his right hand told me he was an excessive smoker, close to three packs a day. The dark circles under his eyes meant he was a late night owl that fed his inability to sleep alone by drinking cheap gin. His cloudy hazel eyes showed that glaucoma was on the verge of shoving him into an unwanted early retirement with just his two golden retrievers he managed to keep from the divorce. The stay yellow dog hairs on his pant legs and the fading tan line on his left ring finger clued me in on those tiny tidbits that might prove useful if he continued to push my buttons.

In the minute he sat down, I had deduced that Agent John Carlton was a newly divorced man. Heavily addicted to the vices that numbed his senses and found joy and reprieve from his own sad life by making others miserable by his uncanny ability to seek out pressure points and press them deeply for information.

Carlton smirked again, setting the small briefcase he brought in on the coffee table. Digging around in it for a stack of files he set on top, "Water please."

I smiled tightly. This man was irritating me more than Fields or any jackass I had encountered had. The immense amount of arrogance and pretentiousness that oozed from him made me sick. I stood up, "I will be back in a second."

"Let your assistant get it for us Senator." The bite in his words told me that he knew Bo was my new assistant.

I shook my head, "I have two good arms and two good legs, Agent." I walked into the kitchen when I heard Carlton mumble, "Stick with Dennis for too long and you won't."

I almost spun on my heels and charged back at the man when Bo grabbed my elbow, "Don't do it. He feeds off reaction." Her brown eyes scanned mine, "Trust me. I know from personal experience."

I covered her hand with mine, "I can ask him to leave." I turned, looking over my shoulder at Carlton fidgeting with papers and checking out my designer furniture, "I already think he needs a punch in the balls."

Bo chuckled, "He deserves many."

I patted her hand, "Let me take care of him. You can stay in the kitchen and eavesdrop if you wish." I moved to the cabinet, filling two glasses with water, "Twenty minutes and he is out of the house." I pointed at the drawer full of take out brochures, "Find something you like for dinner or we can make a late night drive up to Paco's"

I left Bo in the kitchen, a little more at ease than she had been the second she ended the third kiss and spotted Carlton in the driveway.

Handing Carlton a glass of water, I sat down, tucking my legs under me, "So what has the Secret Service come up with."

Carlton took a greedy sip of water, setting the glass down with a hard clunk on to the coffee table. He was hung over from the way he chugged the water, "Well Senator Lewis, we have done our research. The two men who attacked you the other day at the residence in San Diego are connected to a fringe religious group out of the hills of Tennessee." Carlton flipped pages, "Run by a self-proclaimed Reverend Alistair Montgomery, their main agenda in life is to pursue and persecute the world of science anyway they can." He tossed one page towards me. "We are still building a file on Reverend Montgomery, he is a bit of a ghost in the hills."

Carlton reached for his half empty glass, "You aren't the only one they have targeted. They have attacked DNA testing facilities on the east coast and even sperm donor banks. Citing in vitro births go against the laws of nature." Carlton drank again from the glass.

I scanned the file sheet. Alistair Montgomery was the head of the New Church of the Rising Son. A new church that had been on the rise in the last year or so. Popping up on the radar of all the intelligence agencies for domestic terrorism plots and attacks on me and the other victims listed on the sheet in my hand.

"Basically, Senator Lewis, they are dead set on ruining your day because of your support for everything scientific." He handed me another sheet, "During the one gentleman's interview after his arrest, he threw claims that you were growing humans at the facilities you sponsor." Carlton chuckled, "Some real science fiction bullshit in my opinion. He rattled on for hours about the CIA knowing what you were doing and the two of you working together to grow super soldiers that would wipe the world out."

Carlton leaned back in the couch, running his hands over his pants, "The guy was full of meth when we took him in and the throttling that big Mexican gave him, well, I am sure he sees spacemen in his padded cell."

I tried to hold back, not show any reaction to the information Carlton was giving me. I set the sheet down on the table. There was obviously some connection between what Carlton was telling me and what Fields had told me at the zoo. The CIA and the New Church were on the right track, missing critical pieces to the puzzle, but they had a general idea. I would have to talk to Dr. Zehren and Ivan the moment Carlton left.

I smiled, making direct eye contact with Carlton, "It truly is science fiction, Agent Carlton. My work is nothing more than raising funds for a cancer research center and supporting the change I think my supporters would like to see in medical reform." I folded my hands in my lap, "I just happen to be very vocal about medical reform and utilizing the gifts scientific discovery can offer us in the future." I put on my charming Senator smile, the one I was getting tired of using all day, "Super soldier is nothing but a plot line from that Van Damme movie."

Carlton straightened up, laughing, "You are right there Senator." He shuffled a few more papers, "The other concern from the agency is your safety, Senator Lewis." Carlton now looked dead in my eyes, "We are concerned that you ignoring the offered protection of true Secret Service Agents could ultimately compromise your safety. Two attempted attacks in less than two weeks time? That sends up some red flags."

I draped an arm across the armrest of the chair I was in, "I understand and appreciate your concern, Agent. I have it covered, I have hired a new assistant and bodyguard who has proven themselves to be very much up for the job."

Carlton smirked, "You mean Dennis, right." he shook his head lightly, "That girl couldn't protect herself in a locked armory against an army of blind mice." He started collecting the sheets of paper, "I highly suggest you find someone else, I know Dennis. She is a mistake, Senator Lewis."

"Excuse me, Agent Carlton, but I think you should watch what you say."

The hard, firm tone that I emitted pulled down the corners of Carlton's smirk. He furrowed his brow, sucking in a breath that wheezed around tired lungs, "I apologize Senator, but I don't know how you did her background check before you hired her. But I am certain if you did a thorough one, you would know that she is responsible for the death of an Ambassador and his brother."

"I did a thorough background check, Agent Carlton, and only found Bo Dennis to be one of the most exemplary and dedicated agents the agency ever saw." I stood up slowly, trying to keep my rising anger in check. This man needed a handful of punches to the balls.

Carlton picked up on my defensive tone, he stuffed the remaining papers in his briefcase and stood up. Reaching behind to pick up the suit jacket, "Bo Dennis is nothing but a wannabe. She was from day one and was able to pull the wool over everyone's eyes." Carlton tugged his suit jacket on, grabbing the worn handle of his briefcase, "You know she was having an affair with the brother? Callum?" He nodded, "She was too caught up with keeping her legs in the air to notice that the bellhop of the hotel had watched their every move. She failed to inspect the Ambassadors cars that day and missed the three four pound IED's poorly stuck on the undercarriage of the car. Positioned right over the weak points that would blow right through the thin armor of the car."

Carlton moved closer to me, "Did Dennis happen to mention it was the bullets from her service weapon that they dug out of Callums chest during his autopsy? That she shot and killed Callum two minutes before his brother bled out all over the Montreal streets."

I had enough and stepped closer to the man, "I suggest you leave my house now before I call the Director and have you removed permanently for drinking on the job." I took an exaggerated sniff of the man, "The expensive cigarettes you smoke do very little to cover up the cheap gin you drank on the way to my house." I whispered it close to his ear and leaned back, meeting his sad cloudy stare now full of fear. "Leave my house, Agent."

Carlton swallowed hard and stumbled back, saying nothing as he rushed out of the house.

When I heard the heavy slam of my front door, I let out a breath. I walked into the kitchen with his glass, dumping it in the dishwasher quickly so I could wash away the remaining traces of the filthy man. I looked at the counter and found a few of the take out pamphlets spread out on the marble next to the phone that was buzzing from a line being open and un-dialed for too long.

Bo was nowhere to be found in the kitchen. She had heard everything.

I ran to the front door, opening it to find her Lincoln still it's spot. I thought for a minute, running upstairs to look out on the patio to see if I could spot her down at the beach. When I ran past her bedroom I peeked into the half-open door.

Bo was sitting on the floor on the small patio her bedroom offered. Her head cradled in her hands and the way her back shook, I knew she was crying.

I shoved the door open and walked slowly to her. "Bo."

Bo's head shot up, she shook her head no and through strangled sobs, "Leave me alone, Lauren. Please." It wasn't a command or a demand, but a painful plea.

I ignored it, walking out on to the patio I sat down next to her, facing her. She was now wearing shorts and an old t-shirt. The clothes from the zoo were crumpled up in a ball near the bed, her face was tear streaked from the minimal makeup and her hair was hanging free from the ponytail.

"Bo, you know I don't listen to you." I reached for her hand, clutching to her knee white knuckled.

Bo flinched and moved away from me, "Don't."

I ignored her, grabbing her hand and pulling it from her knee. I could feel how tense and upset she was in the way her hand remained balled up even as I held it. "Carlton is gone. I asked him to leave." Bo choked out another sob and tried to pull her hand away from me. I held it tighter, "Stop it, Bo. I don't care what he said about you. He is a piece of shit like you said, trying to get a rise out of me."

Bo tried to yank her hand away, "Leave me, Lauren." her voice was raspy but forceful. The plea now forming a demand.

My leftover anger from Carlton spiked, I raised my voice, "No, Bo. I am done with you pushing me away every time something from your past falls between us. I don't give two shits about that asshole and what he thinks he knows about Montreal." My other hand lifted her chin up so I could look in her eyes, "Stop hiding and running from me, I am here and continue to be here. But you have to stop before my patience does run out." I took a deep breath through my nose, the sight of Bo broken and hurt like she was killing me, "There is nothing anyone can say that will change the way I feel about you Bo. I wasn't lying when I said I was falling for you, because I am. I am falling in love with you Bo and no bullshit lies or rumors will stop that."

Bo's eyes slammed shut as another sob ripped through her body, she moved away from my hand and tore her hand free from mine, "They aren't bullshit lies or rumors." She stood up from the floor, "Carlton wasn't lying. I shot Callum twice in the chest and killed him."

Bo disappeared into the house in a heave of sobs and cries, leaving me frozen in shock on the patio.


	14. Chapter 14

Running.

It's really all I knew how to do right these last few years. I didn't even know where I thought I was going as I rushed down the hallway, still stumbling through tear laden sobs. Eyes blurry and sore barely navigating me around corners and over the wooden floors exchanging to carpet, then to cold marble tile.

Catching an edge and almost tripping, I swiped the back of my hand across my eyes. Doing the best to wipe away the tears, but only making it worse.

Fucking Carlton.

I heard everything he told Lauren. Eavesdropping in the kitchen was a mistake, but I couldn't resist listening to Lauren tear Carlton down in a few short words while she stood up for me. Then he spilled the proverbial beans, more so threw them out across the room like a brick going through a plate-glass window. Shattering on impact. He only knew the partial truth. The basics, the fun juicy basics of the file he was given right before he was pulled off my debriefing and I was assigned a new and neutral investigating agent. But those little bits of meat were enough for him.

I found myself standing outside, my shoes had appeared on my feet sometime between the moment I sprinted from Lauren dazed on the floor and now. Now, I was standing with the keys to the Lincoln squeezed tightly in the palm of my hand. Even my gut instinct was to run without a second thought.

I kept the keys tightly mashed in my palm, only my thumb moving to press the unlock button. Instinct of the last couple of years was driving me, pushing me, telling me. Run, run, and run towards a bottle to numb the pain and memories. She heard the rumor Carlton threw at her and I confirmed it. The way I was balled up on the floor and sobbing, there was no other way for me to try to hide the truth. Cover it up with a gentle change of topic or an all out pause in conversation like I had managed previously.

The look on her face told me the same thing everyone else did that day when I admitted and accepted responsibility for Callum's death. It was my gun, in my hand that left him with two perfect dead center holes in his chest. I didn't wait for him to hit the ground to check if my accuracy was fatal. I ran then, but for another reason than now. To try to save his brother he betrayed just as quickly as he had me.

I reignited my steps, slower now that I was out of the house and able to breathe clean air without choking as much as I did through the house. My fingertips grazed the door handle, sliding them into the concave gap to let my empty palm find the leverage to open the door.

"Bo, don't. Don't run." Her voice carried over to me on the slight breeze of the early evening. She repeated herself in a low but firm tone, "Don't run from me." There was panic and fear mixed in the cadence of her attempt to use the Senator voice but still stay herself.

I laughed, the tears coming again at a rapid pace. I shook my head, refusing to look at her. Mumbling, "It's all I know." I blinked the tears out. Letting them find the same path of the thousand others that had fallen. My eyes were able to focus on my hand, sliding deeper into the handle. I yanked the door open only to have a slim, strong hand slowly push it close and hold it close.

"Bo. Stop running." Lauren's free hand fell on to mine on the door handle. The warmth I had grown addicted to, filled my body. But it still wasn't enough to counterbalance the other force pushing me to run. "This is your chance to speak for yourself and not have an angry, bitter, fading agent speak half-truths for you."

I had to turn away from her, I couldn't even bear to look at her hands. Instead I stared at the dust-covered black hood of the Lincoln. I was fighting through the memory of my gun going off and the blood staining his pale blue shirt. Watching his eyes widen in shock as he stumbled back, pushing his hands over the wounds I gave him. I swallowed hard, choking on the words I tried to say, "I killed him. There's nothing I can say or do..." I stopped, my chest tightening so much it felt like my ribs were crushing my lungs. I could only whisper, "Let me go Lauren."

"No, you let go Bo." Lauren squeezed my hand as if she was trying to squeeze some of her hope into me. Hope that I could somehow spiral back out of this. I could see her out of my peripheral leaning closer to me, "Let go of this burden you carry. It's already consumed your life and I know you, Bo. I know that what you did that day. It wasn't an easy choice to make but you did it because you had to. Because it was the right thing to do." Lauren paused as her voice shook, "I understand the choice you made better than you think, I understand the why. But I am here to listen to you, listen to your side. For once, Bo, let someone hear the truth. Your truth."

Something in the force she emphasized on her words through the increasing trembling of her voice, angered me. It came off like she was coddling me or trying to compare her two deaths to mine. I breathe out hard, the anger built quickly like a tea kettle on the stove. I hated when anyone tried to tell me they understood why I felt like this, when no one did, not even me.

I whipped my head around, "Callum wasn't two shitheads who fumbled like they did. He was cold, calculated, conniving, and charming." I stared hard into the golden brown eyes that still made my breath catch even as I was pissed off beyond belief at her, "He used me, he used his brother." I was yelling at her, not realizing that I had increased my voice to that point. I took a slow breath when I saw her eyes flinch painfully, "Do you understand what it's like when you realize in the matter of milliseconds that the one person you loved with all you had, was part of the evil you swore to protect the world from?" I dropped my voice one octave, I was still loud but I wasn't yelling. I was doing my best to control the outburst of anger I had let out. The way I felt when I looked into her eyes made me angrier. Angrier because I couldn't get past him to get to her like my heart begged but my mind corrupted with the memories of the last time I fell and not even as hard as I had fallen for the stern blonde going toe to toe with me now.

Lauren's gaze was intense as she recovered quickly, she held my eyes without faltering as I continued.

"And everyday you hold on to the evil, you hold on to him, and the sick twisted feeling that all of it was your fault. You brought the evil on someones doorstep regardless of all the oaths and promises taken to protect and serve. I let it in, I let it win. I failed, I failed everyone and everything I swore to not fail."

Lauren's jaw twitched as I finished, turning away from her and back to the hood, she gently pulled on my hand for my attention, "Stop fighting it and fight for your freedom, Bo. It's the past." I glanced at her just as she looked away and off to the side, her voice dropping lower, full of emotion, "Fight for something, someone who loves you no matter what." Her hand gripped harder on to mine, her thumb brushing the side of my wrist and pressing against my pulse. She could feel how erratic my heart started to move around in my chest when I heard one word.

Love.

The word alone made my reflexes take charge again. Pulling the car door open so hard, Lauren had to take a step back. I gripped on to the door frame, my hands turning white at the knuckles, trying to funnel out what I was feeling to regain control over something. I moved to step into the car when her voice stilled me.

"Fine, leave. I won't stop you. You don't want to be stopped." She cleared her throat from the tears I knew were about to fall, "Note this though. My patience has met its end." There was a slight waver and a crack to the low tenor that was Lauren speaking, no trace of the Senator voice. Just Lauren giving up on me like I wanted her to since the second Carlton told her I killed the man I loved.

Why. I will never find the answer for that three lettered word that was also a question, for what I did next. Falling into the driver's seat, slamming the heavy door closed with a thick whisper, I backed the car up. Only glancing to see Lauren standing back, her arms folding as she stared off to the path that would take one down to the ocean.

* * *

The heartbreak I found in her face couldn't overcome my anger, the fear, the habitual instinct to run over the last two years. Habits that became unconscious actions. One instinct that always told me, run, Bo, run. Run as fast as you can when that other four letter word came to dangerously close to being real. I loved her, loved her more than I thought I could ever hope to love someone again or ever for that fact. I wasn't strong enough to deserve her love. How could I be when I could barely find the strength to stay and tell her the truth.

But I let the memories take hold, the hurt I carried from the past into the present and allowing it to slip through my fingers. In turn ending my future. I took the out Lauren threw me when she told me her patience had run out.

I cried and sobbed, struggling to breath as I drove towards the freeway. The justification for taking that out like a greedy child at Halloween was that I loved her too much, I would hurt her. Even I knew deep down it was just me being chicken shit to tell the one person I finally felt whole with, why I was so shattered by one day. How I became so shattered by Callum. I ran away from Lauren and away from the chance I wanted to give myself in loving her and maybe having her love me back.

Crying the entire ride home, flashes of the same sixty eight seconds of that day riding in my head. Sixty eight seconds was all that it took for my agent training to assess the situation Callum had placed me in and make the decision I did.

Sixty eight seconds that affected me for the last 760 days, 9 hours and 3 minutes.

* * *

The front door slammed hard, shaking the house from the kick I used to close it. I dialed Tito in the handful of steps to my bedroom. Even his usual cheesy but cheery greeting failed to make even one muscle twitch towards a smile.

"Heyo Bo! I am glad you called, I am standing in front of a brand new 1984 matte black Monte Carlo SS with cherry red striping. How did your fancy Senator lady know this is my favorite car ever?"

I sighed, hands moving to open the closet doors, "Who knows Tito. Listen, can you do me a huge favor?" I only waited for Tito's first grunt of saying OK, "Can you take the Lincoln back to the Senator tonight for me?" I didn't wait for his answer, "That way you can thank her in person for the car." Fingers moved rapidly, tearing down piles of sweaters and shirts from the top shelf. "Mhm, the GPS will take you right there. I will also have a box of random shit for her in the trunk. Make sure it gets in her hands and her hands only."

I blindly felt around until fingertips came across the soft but stiff edges of the box. I tucked the phone against my shoulder, freeing both hands to clasp on the box, "Yea, I guess I am quitting, Tito. Fancy gigs like that just aren't for me anymore."

I carried the box out to the living room, dropping it on the coffee table before moving to the kitchen for a spotlessly clean glass. I trailed back to the couch, half listening to Tito on the phone. Sitting down in front of the table and the black box, "Look, I have to go Tito. The keys will be in the gnome's hat by the front door." I waited until he acknowledge, "I owe you Tito."

I hung up and turned the phone off, setting it underneath the Lincoln keys. Staring at the box for a second I sucked in a breath, slowly removing the lid, I lifted the surprisingly heavy bottle.

Twisting the ornate cap off I took a deep breath of the oaky, buttery scent the deep amber liquid had. The pure intensity of the scent that billowed out of the bottle told me this was the best of the best. I took care in filling the glass over half full before setting the bottle down gently next to it. I closed my eyes, my hand wrapping around the glass and lifting.

The edge of the glass sat centimeters away from my lips, the intense smell of the scotch making my mouth water in an all too familiar way. I kept my eyes shut and took in one more slow, purposeful breath of the scotch in front of me. I swallowed to clear my throat for the burn I knew was to come.

I had nothing left to lose. I'd run from it all again. I'd run from her and threw away all of my chances of her letting me look back.

* * *

XXXXXXXX

Heartbreak, heartbroken. Two things I had never quite experienced or understood in my life. Not from love or want of anything or anyone. But then again I had never allowed my heart to go anywhere with anyone, it just resided in my chest performing its life giving functions for the last three decades of my life. Maybe just providing me with an idea of love through my family or friends, but never an all encompassing and sweeping love of the movies or the stories Rebecca read at night.

The aching pain I felt in my chest was strange and new to me. So unusual, I held my hand over my heart in the moments after Bo sped away from the house. Even though it beat normally, it hurt and it ached. I finally understood heartbreak. Bo had broken my heart in the matter of minutes I tried desperately to get her to stop and talk to me. I fought her as I looked into her eyes and saw the cloudy storm of memories in the tears.

I stood outside on the gravel driveway for an undetermined amount of time. Tears silently tracking down my face, hair sticking to the wet patches as the wind blew through my loose hair. I stood, secretly hoping she would call me out on my half assed line about my patience. I couldn't even speak the words without my voice cracking and tears welling up. I wanted her to come back and yell at me, let out everything she bottled in herself for the last couple of years. I wanted her to scream at me so I could scream back the words I really wanted to say but choked when her anger spiked and overwhelmed me.

When the sun shifted to the top of the roof, I finally went back into the house. Bo wasn't coming back and all I had was a group of seagulls clucking at me hoping I had food in my pockets for them. I immediately went upstairs to my bedroom and to the patio. Curling up in my trusted and worn chair, I stared out past the trees until the view felt endless. My hand still sat against my chest as my heart thumped slowly. I slowly retreated to thoughts of what could have been done and said differently in the hurried moments Bo made her escape.

Carlton's words were just words, like I tried to tell Bo. Words coming from a bitter fading agent who would not see the second chances after his eventual forced retirement. His words had no true effect on me, but when Bo confirmed it, it did shock me. Shock from the brutal way she confirmed it then screamed the few details while I held the car door shut.

I leaned back in the chair, leaning my head against the large wing of the side. I didn't care why she did or how it was done. I wanted her to let it out and stop allowing one day to dictate the rest of her life. Sighing hard, I tried to tell her I loved her. That I was the someone she should fight for, because I was fighting for her. But finding the courage to say those words when I finally actually meant them on the level I felt, was hard. I stumbled and backfired, pushing Bo's buttons further and further until I backed away and gave her what she wanted. All because I was in love with her and didn't know how to stop her. She was an unstoppable force fueled by her memories, and any good physicist will tell you that an unstoppable force can only meet an immovable object for it to cease. I tried to be the immovable object but eventually it was not enough. Bo was determined and fueled to live in the hell she was.

I sniffled and shook my head at how much I was still crying. I had been dead set on showing her, helping her, loving her and I thought we had finally gotten close to something. Something that lead me to believe we had both silently come to the conclusion we would do this. The kiss we shared in the car told me so much, I could feel her let go of something the moment our lips met. I was excited and hopeful. Rushing to get Carlton out of the house so I could sit down with Bo and tell her all the things I wanted to in the penguin exhibit when I saw her genuinely happy. I wanted to tell her that was the moment I fell completely in love with her, on top of the many other things about her that had stolen my heart.

All of that was ripped away and left me with empty hands and a broken heart.

Hours passed. The afternoon sun dipped low into dusk as I sat on the patio. My heart never really letting go of the ache. Aching more as I knew Bo running meant she was also about to fall back into her comfortable and destructive ways. In the morning I would hear from Davidek and receive a resignation on her behalf.

I untangled my legs from underneath me and walked back into the room. Finding my phone in the middle of the bed I quickly set to making arrangements to head back to the capital the next evening. There was no longer any point in staying on vacation now that I had dual threats on my heels. The CIA fringe group and the hill people. I needed to start the search for a new assistant over. Again. I swiped and tapped the final confirmations for my flight back when the screen shifted from the flight plan to Rebecca's name. Blinking at me in white asking me to answer the call. I didn't answer the call, instead I set the phone back down on the bed and walked away.

I changed out of my zoo clothes, listening to the phone vibrate mutely against the comforter. I ignored it, pulling on the last pair of ratty jeans and comfortable v-neck I would wear for months until the next short break in Congress. When I was done I walked out and past Bo's bedroom without looking in. I didn't want to see anything thing that would remind me of her and start up the heavy ache in my heart that had finally drifted to a dull throb. I was carrying a strange feeling as I moved through the house and towards my basement office. It was a feeling of numbness and my heart refusing to let go of her.

I sighed, "This is what love feels like." I held my hand against my heart, hoping to will it to stop and return to normal. Even though I knew it was hopeless, there was nothing physically wrong with my heart. It was all in my head wrapped around a fierce brunette that I knew I would never forget or could forget.

I decided I would try to work away the feelings. Find some balance in drowning in other people's problems and building new organs.

Turning around the corner leading to the basement steps, I was stopped by the doorbell ringing loudly throughout the empty house. I turned, staring at the edge of the front door I could see from where I stood. My heart twitching in hope Bo had come back for round two of whatever. I moved to the opposite wall, hitting the full screen button on the monitor system. The monitors brightened up to show the big Mexican, Tito, grinning at my front door.

His grin grew wider when I opened the front door. I took a small step back, the man towered over me like a great oak in the middle of a field full of new seedling trees. He was intimidating even with the smile of a giddy child plastered on his face.

"Hey there Senator Lady!"

I smiled halfheartedly, "Hello Tito."

Before I could finish my own greeting, Tito scooped me up into a big yet gentle bear hug. Lifting me off the ground, "Thank you so much for the car! It's amazing!" Tito's excitement rang in my ears while he squeezed me one more time before letting my feet meet solid ground. He still held on to my upper arms, grinning, "How did you know the '84 was my favorite?"

I shrugged, trying to keep a genuine smile when I had very little interest in smile or pretending to smile. My eyes caught the front half of the matte black Monte Carlo as it sat in the round about the mail trucks used to get to my front door. "I had your address pulled by a friend in the police department so I could send you a thank you card. My friend made a comment that you had a surprisingly clean traffic record and when I glanced over, I saw that you have always owned Monte Carlos from the time you could drive till the last one you wrecked, for me." I looked up in the soft, smiling eyes of the large man, "That and Bo told me you have the wall behind you at the liquor store covered in pictures of a matte black 1984 Monte Carlo SS with red pinstripes." My smile grew a smidge, "I took a chance." I then took in a slow breath, "It was the least I could do Tito, for your help that day."

I kept looking into his eyes when I heard something that made me look to my right. The back end of the Lincoln parked in the spot next to the Cadillac, wiped away the smile completely. My heart leapt into my throat, "Is, um, Bo with you?"

Tito's grin faded to a delicate smile, "She asked me to bring the car back to you tonight and give you this." Tito bent down, coming back up to continue to tower over me with a box in his hands. Holding it out for me to take, "Distinctly told me it had to go to your hands only Senator lady."

The old cigarette box had no lid and when I glanced down, I could see a few pieces of clothing I had given Bo when she was staying at the house. I breathed out a sigh of relief when I saw the corner of the black box that held the bottle of scotch I sent to her. There was also the brand new smart phone sitting on top of the pile of clothes with a white envelope tucked under it. After he was certain I had my hands firmly around the box, Tito dug in his jeans pocket. Setting the Lincoln keys on top.

I couldn't hide my shaking hands when his own hand released the keys. My eyes hanging on to the scrawled penmanship on the envelope, spelling out "Lauren"

I swallowed hard and audibly, biting my lip to try to hold back, "Did Bo have anything to say to you? A final message?" I could feel my eyes begin to water, surprising since I was certain I had cried all I had over the last few hours. I clenched on to the box in my hands. I could smell small traces of Bo's shampoo and the light perfume she wore occasionally, it made my jaw clench harder and blink the tears back harder. I missed her already and she was only gone for a handful of hours and now possibly forever. I knew that white envelope held her resignation.

Tito shook his head, "No ma'am. When I got to her house, she was sitting on the couch. Staring at a big ole glass of scotch. It kinda looked like she was already pretty hammered by the slow nods and one word answers she gave me." Tito suddenly began to fidget, tucking his meaty hands into the back pockets of his jeans, "I can't lie to you, Senator lady. You've been way too nice and honest with me and you've been really good to Bo from day one."

I smiled weakly at the gentle giant, "Please, call me Lauren, Tito."

Tito nodded and cringed, "Bo did say one thing before I left, but I gotta say something first."

I looked up from the box, her handwriting burned into my retinas from staring at it for so long, "Go ahead." If Tito heard me it would be a miracle, the words came out as barely a whisper. I wanted to go back in the house and shut out the world, my heartbreak filling all of my appendages and making it hard to continue to stand.

"I've known Bo for a while now. I'd see her sometimes everyday and I even took her home a bunch of times when the days got really rough for her." Tito looked at me sheepishly, "I've never seen Bo happy or sober for more than a second. In the last couple of weeks whenever I did see her or talk to her, I could tell she was finally finding a way out of the mess she kept herself in."

The massive man sighed lightly, "I am not a smart guy, just a big guy that sits and watches people from the counter of a liquor store. I spend days looking in people's eyes. Seeing how much they've lost themselves to the world, or how excited they are about what life was finally giving them and buying booze to celebrate it. Sadness, happiness, love, lust, true love, anger, joy. I have seen it all in pass in looks across the counter with money. Some of my customers I know exactly what they are thinking even as they tell me the opposite. Their eyes tell me everything, like true windows to the soul. Bo is one of the customers, I can see through her bullshit lies and I can see when she's actually happy about something. I know when I see something special. What you two have it's something special if a big ox like me can see it from miles away. I could see it from miles away that day on her front lawn when she talked about you before shit went down."

Tito suddenly reached out, taking the box from my hands, setting it back down on the front step. He then took my hand in his, dwarfing my hand with the sheer size of his, "Before I left, Bo asked me, Tito how will I ever find someone to love me like she did? Someone to love like I love her? Why was I so scared that I ran from her?"

Tito paused, wiping away the tears on my cheeks, "I asked Bo if she really loved you, making sure to look in her eyes when I asked it."

I bit my cheek to hold back more tears. "What did she say?" I forced more volume out even as I was embarrassed this man had wiped away my tears.

Tito's grin reappeared, "You want to ask her yourself?"

I whispered, my eyes scanning the driveway around the wall that was Tito. "What do you mean?" Panic and nervousness racing around the heavy feeling of heartbreak still in my body.

Tito shrugged and stepped away from me. Turning to the left, he waved at the Lincoln. It took longer than a second for the driver's side door to open. I was flooded with emotions and the heart ache from earlier, at the simple sight of her brown hair in a ponytail as she stood up.

Bo turned to look at me with sunglasses on, shutting the driver's door, she walked around the car. Bo was wearing a white tank top with a light purple hooded zip up sweatshirt that draped around her shoulders, the jeans were the ones I had left in her closet. Making me feel a little more relieved that she had attempted to keep one small piece of me with her. A foolish thought considering I let her run, but it was a foolish thought that eased the pain.

When the sun caught the glint of the silver handcuffs on her wrists, I shot a look at Tito. He shrugged, winking at me, "We had a bit of a disagreement on what I thought was the right thing to do over sending a letter and a big lug like me to do her dirty work."

I stood motionless, my eyes locked on Bo as Tito walked over to her, removing the handcuffs from her wrists. Allowing her to be free to rub lightly at the wrists and grumble something I couldn't make out before he gently pushed her towards me.

Bo said nothing. Didn't look at me as she took the few steps to stand off to the side while Tito walked back to me.

"Don't worry Lauren. I knew she could drive in handcuffs. Bo taught me how to do it one night after she helped me close up the store." Tito winked at me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, squeezing the words he spoke next into my body through his hand and his voice, "Fight to the death with her and for her, it's the only way she will learn. Remember her eyes, they will tell you everything she won't. Use that." he patted me lightly, "One more thing, if you ever need my help again, call me." He went to take a step away when I grabbed him suddenly in an attempted rib crushing hug on the tree of a man.

"I owe you again, Tito. Thank you." I whispered roughly into the man's ear. Tito squeezed me back before letting me go, grinning at me. He turned to Bo, pointing at her and in a voice that would scare the hell out of me if I met it in a dark alley, "Don't fuck this up or I won't let you step one foot in my store ever again."

Tito stood behind Bo waiting for her to move. When she didn't move fast enough for him, he nudged her. Bo whipped her head around and shot him what I could only imagine to be a look of pure death from under the dark sunglasses she wore. Grumbling once again followed with her as she moved closer to me.

Bo wouldn't look at me, but I could feel the myriad of emotions radiating from her as she bent down to pick up the box. I tried to look in her eyes or at least catch her eye line, but I could not see anything in the deep black shades of her sunglasses. There was a sharp sigh and when Bo spoke, I could feel the hurricane of emotions in her voice, "Can I come in?" She looked over her shoulder at Tito, "I promised him I wouldn't leave until we were done." Bo rasped out the last sentence. The way she said it, I knew her loyalty to the man she called her friend ran deeper than the fear and the need to run from her past.

I nodded slowly. Even in the open air of the outside, Bo and I were still able to make it thick with the tension that followed us. The instant relief of seeing Bo again at my doorstep, shifted to anger and a need to give her a piece of my mind. I said nothing, only stepping to the side to give her the room to enter the house. As she brushed past me, I heard a handful of curse words under her breath. This was going to be interesting.

Tito waved from the driver's side window of his car before he slammed on the accelerator and peeled out of my driveway, fishtailing the Monte Carlo out on to the asphalt of the main street.

Leaving me to deal with Bo. Alone.

* * *

She was in the sitting room, the cigarette box empty and on the floor. The contents were neatly placed and lined up on the expanse of the coffee table. For a moment, I couldn't enter the sitting room, only staring at the brunette that made me feel more things than anyone else in the world. She sat in the large chair I had the first day we met. She was leaning forward on her knees, bouncing erratically. Bo was nervous and kept her sunglasses on. She was obviously prepared for battle.

Slowly entering the room, I forced out her name, "Bo." My voice still came out as a strained whisper.

She seemed to flinch at the sound of my voice, when just hours ago she would blush and try to hide a grin.

I mustered the courage for another attempt at starting the conversation, "Tito, the uh...handcuffs?" It was awkward, but I had to know about the handcuffs first.

Bo's bouncing leg paused. She reached out with her hand, running the fingers over the black box that held the bottle of Chivas. "I am still sober. Tito drank the glass I had poured for myself but couldn't bring myself to drink it, because of you and what I promised you." She tapped lightly on the lid of the box, "I reckon it was about a seven thousand dollar shot of scotch he downed like one of his cheap Mexican beers. I will pay you back for that."

I stopped at the opposite end of the couch on an angle from the brunette, "You don't need too..."

"He handcuffed me when I put up a bit of a fight, a verbal fight about coming back here." Bo took a deep breath, "He won because honestly, Tito scares the shit out of me." She paused, "And he was right, but I am stubborn and the only way he could get me to move was by sneaking my own handcuffs on my wrists and hauling me to the Lincoln." Bo glanced at me and turned away just as fast, "We shared a few more words until he became far too convincing to ignore." She cleared her throat.

A chunk of silence filled the room. Just the gentle in and out of both of us breathing nervously was the only sound in the room. I stared at her, searching out what to say next without losing my cool and yelling at her. I was in full Senator mode keeping my emotions behind the wall.

Bo's brow furrowed, her eyebrows dipping under the lenses of her sunglasses. "I had no idea Callum was bad. Never did I spot one tiny, little red flag. All of my training and instinct was blinded by love. Exactly like the stupid cliché phrase says." Bo ran her fingers along the lines of the black box. The air growing heavier as she took the deep breath one does right before telling a lengthy story.

"Six months we were together. Together in a secret relationship and did a great job keeping it secret." Bo looked up at the ceiling and shook her head lightly, "God did I think I was in love. In love like my mom's dumb romance novels. A handsome, charming Englishman sweeping me off my feet and making me feel like a treasured item."

I watched Bo's first two fingers lift at the side corner of the box, slowly lifting the lid, "He took me to restaurants I never knew could exist in the world. Foreign films that made Hollywood seem cheap and tawdry. There was even the quick weekend to his family's Scotland estate where I literally, for a day, felt like a princess in a castle. Callum woo'd me and romanced me to a tee. I was so swept up in the amazing and different way he made me feel. Made me feel like no other had before him." Bo paused again and this time when she looked at me, I could feel her eyes penetrate through the black lenses. Bo dropped her head to look at her hands, dipping them both into the soft lining of the inside. Pulling up the black bottle and placing it on the table next to the phone and the ominous white envelope.

"In Italy, the weekend before Montreal, I began to notice little things that piled up. Callum would disappear from the room with a different cellphone, obviously distracted even as I laid naked on the bed. Something he rarely ever ignored. When he would return, he would give off a frantic feeling. Hiding the cell phone into his locked briefcase. When I casually asked about it, he played it off as nothing other than work related. Robert had received threats over the last few weeks and his security detail had gone into overdrive, we were all stressed and looking for cracks in the armor."

Bo rolled the bottle in between her two hands. The ridged bottom making a throaty vibration on the wood of the coffee table, "Callum quickly asked me to leave the Secret Service the day before...everything. He wanted him and I to run away to Ireland, away from the world of politics and live in a small cottage his grandparents owned."

Bo kept rolling the bottle, the sound of the glass rolling on the wood seemed to steady her, "I stupidly said yes. I loved my job as a Secret Service Agent, but I loved, well, thought I loved Callum more. The idea of having a simple life free from looking over our shoulders was far too enticing. I said yes even though my gut instinct screamed no, look harder Bo. Push for more information on why he wanted to leave the world he half created for his brother."

Bo let go of the bottle, letting it rock to stillness as she dug in the back pocket of her jeans. She tossed a thin stack of folded and crumpled sheets of paper at me. The sheets landed in the middle of the couch. They were worn and looked as if they had been folded and un-folded a million times. I could see the faint logo of the Secret Service on the upper right hand corner.

Curiosity killed me. I sat on the couch reaching for the thin stack with two fingers. When they were in my hands, I began to slowly unravel the edges as Bo continued, "Callum became weirder over the next few days. Begging me to turn in my resignation one minute then the next asking to look at the classified daily briefings from my Section Chief."

Bo lifted her sunglasses up just enough to wipe at her eyes. A lone tear escaped and made it halfway down her cheek before shaking hands caught it. Bo swallowed slowly, her voice trembling now, "I called Davey for advice. He knew about Callum from the third day he and I fell into our romance. Davey was and still is one of my best friends, only friend really, outside of Tito. I needed his guidance and his outside opinion. My gut wasn't enough to overcome the fairy tale ending I had at my fingertips."

Bo shifted on the couch, her hand rubbing at her neck as she rolled it, "Davey did some digging over the next few days." She dropped her hand and pointed at the sheets in mine, "That is what he found." Bo leaned forward on her knees again, resting her head in her hands, "Fifteen minutes before the world changed in Montreal, Davey called me."

Her legs began to bounce with nerves again, her voice breaking harder as she face me, nodding at what I held, "It's all in black and white, Lauren."

I pulled open the final fold of the sheets. Right away I came face to face with a picture of a handsome man in, what looked like, to be his late twenties. Black shiny hair in a modern Gatsby cut, intense blue eyes and an air of confidence that permeated the simple printed image.

The section under the image read,

**BIRTH NAME: CALLUM ALEXANDRE WILLIAMS, II**

**KNOWN ALIASES: GRIOGAIR MCCULLOGH – KNOWN AFFILIATE AND LEAD MEMBER OF THE UNITED BEGGARS COALITION**

I scanned past the boldface type and down to the quick hand of Davey and his findings.

**Griogiar McCullough is fully connected as the third in command of the United Beggars Coalition. A revamp attempt to rebuild the long disbanded IRA by the upset new millennials of England. This new group, UBC, are built from the rich 1% of England, Scotland and Ireland trying to reignite the force of the occupy movement that fizzled out over in the states, but with increased violence and attacks. Most members of the UCB have used money and power attained in their own lives or family riches to hide their identities so they could operate within the crowds undetected. The members listed on the next few pages after Griogair/Callum have bought themselves into guerrilla warfare by attacking the families listed. All families of power and wealth that support the idea of the 1% and what it stands for.**

**The UBC mission statement is to bring down the wealth and make it accessible to all, no matter the cost to life or property. They are a highly violent and volatile group responsible for the recent attacks in Northern Ireland and last months London tube fires.**

After the detailed paragraph, I noticed Daveys angular handwriting underneath.

_"Bo,_

_Your boyfriend has set you up. He has been using you to get the information you have from the Secret Service to breach the extra security. I haven't quite traced it all back to a date and time, only picked up chatter that there is an attack coming soon. An attack on Robert. Callum wants to make statement and is going to sacrifice his brother and you."_

I set the sheets against my thighs. I was speechless and dumbfounded at the audacity of targeting and attacking your family. I folded the sheets up and set them on the couch, "If Davey sent you this days before, how?" I stopped, I couldn't find the words to ask any further.

"I never received the sheets until after the fact. Callum intercepted them and hid them from me." Bo picked up the bottle again, unscrewing the cap to let the stiff scent of scotch filter up to her nose, "He slipped up and I caught him. For whatever reason he wanted to hold Robert and I back until the car was pulled up to the hotel concourse instead of the back entrance we had all agreed on." Bo titled the bottle closer to her nose, breathing deep, "Carlton was right. I was far too distracted to check under the car, but it wasn't because my legs were up in the air. It was because as I went to walk out with Robert, Callum took a phone call and uttered a strange phrase in Gaelic."

She set the bottle down, screwing the cap back on tightly, "That was the final red flag. I had gone to Scotland with the man, to his family's estate that was covered in old Gaelic artwork and when I asked him what it all meant, he told me he didn't speak or read a word of the old foolish langauge no matter how hard his parents forced him to learn it." Bo's hand laid on the neck of the bottle, "What Callum didn't know, Robert had taught me bits and pieces of Gaelic since he wanted to integrate the ancient language into some of his security briefings. Hoping it would confuse his enemies when they would get hands on classified documents."

Bo slowly pulled her sunglasses off, folding them up before setting them on the table. Her eyes were red and puffy, evidence she had cried for hours like I had. "Then I caught him giving a signal to the bellhop. A signal I had seen a million times in all of my terrorism training classes. The UBC was not very smart or original for all the money they had at their disposal. They fell back on old signals the insurgents had used to set up IED's during the first few years of the Afghan war." Bo looked at me for the first time since she walked out on to my driveway in handcuffs.

The fear, sadness, hurt, guilt and pain all hung heavy in the glassy dark brown eyes of the woman, "I asked Callum what he was doing and he let his façade down. Revealing Griogair to me. He knew that in the next handful of minutes his brother would die on the busiest street of Montreal and no longer cared to keep it a secret. He told me everything like a foolish man full of bravado right before his grand master plan was executed."

Bo laughed lightly, "What he didn't expect was me executing him when I tried to take him to custody and order him to call off the attack." She fell back into the couch, closing her eyes, "Callum told me how he used me from the minute he first smiled at me. Telling me he had read my file and my background, knowing that my life was full of failed relationships and that I would fall easily into the first man who gave me the fairy tale I wanted as a little girl."

I couldn't hold back, I moved closer to Bo. My hand covering the top of her hand as it sat on her thigh. She flinched lightly but relaxed, opening her eyes to stare at me, "He hit me. Threw a nice right hook in hopes of knocking me down so he could make his escape. The one thing he failed to research about me was that I was the agency's top fighter and that my grandpa had taught me how to take a punch and come up faster, harder." Bo dropped her eyes down to my hand on hers, slowly turning it over so our palms met.

"I came back up with my gun drawn. Giving Callum the ultimatum I was trained to give. Surrender or die." Bo slid her fingers into mine loosely, "He chose the latter. In sixty eight seconds I followed through on the choice he forced upon me." She took a deep breath, "If I had acted maybe sixty seconds faster than my heart wanted me too, I would have been able to save Robert." Bo slowly squeezed my hand, she was letting it all go and I could feel it in the way she held my and, "Instead I was just in time to be three feet from the blast. I pulled Robert out of the car and held him as he died in my arms."

I didn't know what to say, there was nothing I could say that would comfort her. Bo needed to tell her story without my commentary. I looked up in her eyes and saw how drained she was from telling a story she had kept to herself for years. "I wasn't asked to resign from the Secret Service. They eventually had cleared me of wrongdoing and called Callums death a justified end. I was given a free and clear by the psychologist and the Montreal file was sealed up and stamped by the President to never be opened. The country would just deal with the fallout it did from Roberts death without revealing the truth of how his own brother betrayed him. The UBC was demolished and all of the parties still involved were arrested and as far as I know, all the living members are rotting in prison till they day they die."

Bo gently pulled her hand free from mine, sliding it into the sleeve of her sweatshirt, "I asked for them to accept my resignation. I couldn't continue on with being a Secret Service Agent after realizing how I failed in the simple duty of keeping Robert safe. I let my heart get in the way of the job I always wanted. My dreams of a perfect love clouded my reality of a perfect career that would have taken me places."

I wanted to reach for her hand again, but felt like it would be up to her to make the move for physical contact. "Bo, you did nothing wrong. You followed your heart, that's it. No one could fault you for that."

Bo turned to me, "But I was at fault and the guilt for what I had done was too much. I never set out in this world or this job to hurt anyone. And yet, I killed two people because of blind ignorance." I watched as her eyes filled up with tears, her voice trembling, "This is why I can't get close to you. I am afraid I will do the same thing and I will lose you." She took a deep breath, "Because, Lauren, I am so in love with you that it blinds me like you were the sun and I am Icarus. Flying to close too you and I can't help it." She choked on a half sob, "I love you, Lauren. I love you more than I ever thought I could love him. I love you because you have shown me that there is a reason to let someone have my heart again. From the first day I met you, you have given me everything and not given me an inch when I tried to take a foot from you. You have given me my hope in life again."

Bo's words fell fast but clear and when she stopped and looked away from me, I was frozen. Not like I was when she told me she had killed Callum, but frozen by the sheer truth and heart that was behind her profession of love. Every word held her entire heart as she spoke them, each word delivering the small pieces to me in hopes I would take them all and mold them back into the heart she once had.

* * *

XXXXXX

I was drained and the temptation of the scotch sitting inches away from me was increasing. I slumped back in the couch, wiping at my cheeks. I couldn't look at Lauren after everything I had told her and telling her that I loved her. I would wait until she politely told me thanks but no thanks and ask me to leave.

At least I knew Tito would be close by. After fighting with him and yelling at him as I was slung over his shoulder like a fireman rescuing a damsel, I made him promise me to wait around the neighborhood. I knew I would need a ride home after I fulfilled the promise to tell Lauren everything.

To be honest it was liberating to tell Lauren everything that happened with Callum and that day in Montreal. Only Davey, the investigative board and I, knew the exact details of the day and Callum's betrayal. But I was drained, drained like a tub who's plug had been pulled, my energy slipping down the drain with every little thing I shared with Lauren. Tomorrow would be a new day completely, I would have to rebuild a life free from scotch and the blonde woman sitting next to me. I had pushed her too far and tested her patience. Tito was right, if it was going to be the end, I might as well make it a fresh start in a terrible end. I grabbed my sunglasses, unfolding them to push back on to my face.

"I am going back to D.C. Tomorrow Bo." Lauren's voice was quiet and filled with the Senator.

I nodded, sliding the sunglasses back on. "I understand."

I grabbed the arms of the chair and pushed myself up to stand. I pointed at the cell phone, "Do you mind if I call Tito real quick for a ride home." I was doing my best to hold back the tears. My heart was broken and I had done it to myself.

"Bo, sit down and listen." Lauren was firm but gentle, "I think it's my turn to say something."

I folded my arms against my chest, "I'd rather stand." I turned to face the blonde. Grateful that the sunglasses helped prevent any direct eye contact with the woman. She was beautiful sitting on the couch, dressed in a pale grey v-neck and those jeans that fit her perfectly. I loved when her hair was done like it was now, a little messy but perfect. Lauren was tired, I could see she had cried and the way her lips were pursed, I knew there was some anger in the kind heart I had stomped all over like a tantrum ridden child.

Even though I knew this was the end of us by the tone in her voice, one look at her made my heart race like a fighter jet. I was honest when I asked Tito, how would I ever find anyone I loved like her?

Lauren's eyes focused on mine, "I am leaving for the capital tomorrow. To return to the Senate a week early and start my work." Lauren looked down at her hands, "I made the arrangements after you left this afternoon. I felt there was no point in staying here any longer." Lauren paused, running her hands down her legs. "No point in staying here without you." She looked up at me, "When you left, I felt something I had never felt before in my life. A dull, lingering ache in my chest. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake it or stop from thinking about you. You broke my heart Bo."

Lauren stood up, walking over to me she reached up and pulled the sunglasses from my face. Folding them up, she set them quietly down next to the phone on her Oxford University t-shirt I had worn one night after getting pizza sauce on my one dress shirt. Lauren straightened up and our eyes met. The way she would always steal my breath away with one look like the one she gave me now, was incredible. But I feared it would be the last time I would have this moment, so I held her eyes no matter how badly I wanted to look away from her. I needed to memorize the way her irises had touches of pure gold mixed in the amber rings. I tried to focus on listening to her, but a part of me wanted to stop listening and walk out of the house before the inevitable was said.

"Love in first sight is not exactly something I believed in. How do you fall in love with someone in a matter of moments when your eyes meet and hands connect." Lauren glanced up at the ceiling. "Then I met you, Bo. And when I looked into your eyes I felt safe. Something I have not felt in over five years." Lauren's tone changed, the Senator left the building. I was now confused where this conversation was actually heading.

Lauren looked away from me, "I knew from that moment on I was in trouble." She took a step back and turned her back to me, "I realized the ache in my chest was because I was heartbroken when you left. Left me so full of anger and hatred that I had given you what you wanted. To be left alone with your memories and unwillingness to see the way out."

My heart was pounding at her words, my breathing was heavy, "Lauren, that wasn't why I left. I left because. Because I have carried these things, Callum and Montreal with me for so long it was all I knew." I moved closer to her, "The way you make me feel is so powerful that it overwhelms me. I am afraid." I left it at that, I didn't need to repeat myself and my fears to the woman a thousand times. "It was never you, Lauren." I struggled in slowing my words down, I was anxious by the way my heart pounded. I suddenly wanted to fight a little harder for this woman. Redeem myself.

Lauren laughed lightly, "Of course, the whole it's not you it's me speech." She suddenly turned to face me, her eyes watery, "It is you, Bo. It's always been you." She clenched her jaw before speaking, "I will not accept you doing this again, Bo. Running when it's too much to bear. You have shed your past to me, you have found your freedom from it and I suggest you run with it. You have held on to so much for far too long. I cannot endure another back and forth with you, even as you tell me that you are Icarus and I am the sun. A love that is dangerous, but oddly freeing." Lauren paused, her eyes moving to the table, her voice hard when she spoke, "There will be no more of this, Bo."

Her words hit me in the chest hard, so hard my hand moved to my heart on its own. I swallowed hard, nodding for an unknown reason. The intensity in her eyes told me so much, it also told me why she was such a fiercely respected woman in the capital. I wasn't prepared for this, I had only prepared to tell her everything and wait for her to show me the door as I deserved. I dropped my gaze to the floor, "Lauren...I..."

"Bo, for all of the agent training and natural talent you have to read people and you can't see it." I felt Lauren move closer to me, her hand settling under my chin to push me to look her in the eyes. When I met her golden brown eyes that shone brighter with unshed tears, my heart tightened.

"I am in love with you too, Ysabeau." Lauren smiled weakly, "I have fought it because it was love at first sight, a romantic idea based not in the reality I have chosen to live in."

The small sentence hit my ears, then sank into my heart. I fought past the strange fearful feeling of hearing Lauren tell me she was in love with me too. I sucked in a breath, "Can you repeat yourself?" it was a shaky, request but I needed to hear it again to make sure.

She nodded, "I love you, Bo. I fell in love with you at first sight." Lauren rolled her eyes slightly, "Well maybe love at first sight over a day or so, but regardless. I have never felt anything close to what you make me feel everyday I am around you Bo. The way you make me relax and not want to be the Senator or the Doctor, the way you look at me when you don't think I notice."

I held her eyes as she rambled. Lost in the new feeling of wholeness her simple words was bringing to my body. I wondered if this is what the rebirth people talk about felt like after a car accident they survived when they shouldn't have. I wondered if this is what true love felt like, either way, all I knew was it felt incredible and healing.

She moved her hand from my chin to settle on my cheek, "The way you will do anything to keep me safe whether it's from the maniacs after me or in your constant need to always drive me places." Lauren took a slow breath in, "The way your dimple smiles when you are truly happy and how badly I want to be the one to draw that out of you." She smiled, "I cannot tell you how jealous I was of Norbert."

I laughed with her, leaning into her hand, "He's just a little bird."

Lauren moved closer, "A little bird that made you happy. I want that, Bo. I want to make you happy." Her hand suddenly fell from my face as she went to take a step back. I caught her hand with mine, pulling her hand in mine up in the small space still between us.

I stared at our hands. There was no reason for me to hold back anymore. She knew my secrets and yet she stood in front of me, professing her love for me. "You already do, Lauren." I brought her hand up to my lips, kissing the knuckles, I whispered, "I am sorry..."

Lauren pulled her hand free from mine, moving it back to the spot on the edge of my chin. She pulled me closer, our mouths meeting slowly. I felt her breath, warm on my lips in the second before we kissed. Her other arm sliding around my midsection to pull me against her. My arms followed suit, holding her tightly as lips meshed and breathes mingled. The kiss was unlike the last three we shared. The passion and desire was still there, but now there was a sense of completeness and relief. We were whole as long as we were together. My hand slid up to rest between her shoulders, pushing her closer to me. Our hearts synced up, beating furiously against each other. I couldn't resist and nipped her perfect bottom lip as it slid between mine, running the tip of my tongue over the soft flesh.

I felt her smile against my mouth and pull back. Looking down at our chests, "It seems they have created our own symbiotic relationship. One cannot beat happily without the other." Lauren's hand moved to rest against the white tank top I wore. Her fingertips warm against the bits of bare skin she touched, "I love you, Bo. You never need to run from me." She looked up, "Cause I will always be here." She pressed her hand harder against my chest.

I bent forward, kissing the corner of her mouth as my hand covered hers, "Never." When I leaned back I looked into her eyes, there was a shift in her eyes. One that worried me, "What is it Lauren?"

"Can you come back to the capital with me tomorrow?" She scanned my eyes, "I need you. The threats are getting worse. The hill people have been identified and their leader is focused on me. There is little information on him, but I have Davidek working on that as well as the Secret Service." Lauren stepped out of my arms, folding hers and steadying her jaw, "The CIA too. Fields was right in his silly rumors. The fringe of the CIA's research and development group. A group called Beekeeper. They are after my work at the Criterion and are pushing harder. They are the ones responsible for the recent system hacks at Criterion." Lauren sighed, "Things will become dangerous, Bo. I have faced these threats as best as I can, but now they are pushing hard. From what I can tell from the hill people, they will not hold back. I don't know what their motive is other than they want to see me dead." She looked up at me, "Will you, can you still stand by my side and protect me? If you can't because things have change, I will understand."

I knew she was hinting at that I had confessed I was afraid my feelings for her would cloud my judgment as it had with Callum. I stepped closer, removing the distance she put between us. "I told you I couldn't stand seeing anyone else touch you when that grabby monkey Fields was all over you. I couldn't stand to have anyone but me keep you safe." I rested my hand on her forearm, "Paco was right, I am like fire and will spread around those I love to protect them. I only burn for you and I promise you, I will do everything I can to keep you safe Lauren." I smiled, looking into her eyes, "I will go back with you, stand by your side and give everything I have to keep you safe." In the back of my head I began to worry how many threats were coming her way. I would have to sneak down to the basement and read over the emails I had ignored for the last few days. There was honestly nothing I would not do to keep her safe, even more so now.

Lauren smiled, relief washing over her as her hand covered mine on her forearm. She turned, nodding at the phone, "Call Tito and tell him that you don't need that ride." She squeezed my hand before moving away, "I am going to get ready for bed. It has been a long day." There was nothing but complete and utter exhaustion in the woman's voice. It had been a day full of emotions, good to bad, bad to heart breaking. Anyone would be tired after the day I gave her. As a result, I didn't take her wanting to go to bed anything more than an exhausted woman wanting to collapse and sleep. Especially since it was exactly what I wanted to do.

I watched Lauren walk away and disappear up the stairs before picking up the phone. I didn't need to call Tito, I just had to send him a text message. He quickly replied, "Good. You can still come to the store, but I still won't let you buy any booze from me. I am glad you finally figured it out B!"

I smiled, tucking the phone in my back pocket and scooping up the other random items. I went to go upstairs to my bedroom when my eyes settled on the bottle of scotch. The temptation was there to drink it, especially since I was emotionally drained. But the temptation of having a life with the incredible woman who had given me a second and a third chance outweighed any sweet taste of scotch. I set my things on the couch, picked up the bottle and tucked it back into the box. I took the box to the kitchen and tucked it up into the top of the cabinet that held Lauren's fancy dinner party dishware.

I went back to the sitting room and picked up my things and headed upstairs. I was exhausted but felt lighter. I stripped off my clothes, replacing them with the pajamas I had tossed into the top drawer of the dresser that was completely empty. I took a deep breath pulling the covers back. It was almost midnight now. The day had felt like it was four years long between the morning at the range, the zoo trip, the Carlton debacle, being kidnapped by Tito and making my confession to Lauren.

I looked at the soft bed, eager to allow it to drown me in its white fluff. The only thing that was missing was that I suddenly wanted Lauren in the bed with me. Not for anything more than to hold on to her and listen to the way she breathed while she slept. Her warm body and the slow cadence of her sleeping put my restless mind at ease and now that I had nothing left to hide. I wanted to know what it was like to lay next to her with nothing more in my head than how amazing it was to be anywhere near her.

I looked over my shoulder at the open door to the bedroom, I could hear Lauren shuffling around in her room. Drawers opening and closing as she changed and did her usual bedtime routine. I sighed, smushing the pillows into the perfect ball. I didn't expect for Lauren and I to go running to bed together the second we professed our love for each other. Even though my body wanted more from her, my mind wanted to take it slow and do everything differently. Falling into bed with her was not how it could go. It would take time, time for my heart to meet up with my bodies wants. I was determined now, determined not to make the mistakes and allow my history to repeat itself.

Tomorrow would be a new day. A new day where I now had the control I gave away so many years ago. A new day where I didn't have to hide from the woman I loved.

Plugging in the cell phone I dug in my discarded jeans, pulling out the P99 and setting in on the bedside table. A sterile reminder that loving Lauren came with a price. I looked around the room, noting that I would have to figure out what I would have to bring to D.C and if I could get Tito to possibly housesit. Small idle things that helped my mind ease down from the intense emotions of the day.

I shut off the light and crawled in to the deep white fluff of the bed. Enjoying how soft the bed was and how the pillows seemed to cave around my head to form the perfect soft cage. I closed my eyes and in a matter of seconds, sleep started to pull me away from the day and into the promise of a deep and lengthy night of sleep.

* * *

Whether it was fifteen minutes or hours later, I couldn't tell. The room was dark and I was deep asleep. Enjoying a dream where Norbert and I stood next to each other looking out from an iceberg on to the horizon. I felt at peace finally in a dream with penguins. Norbert squeaked at me and I looked down, in his eyes I saw nothing but the happiness I felt when I fed him and his little friends.

When he squeaked again, it pulled me from the dream. It wasn't a cute adorable bird squeak, it was the springs of the bed moving from someone climbing into the bed. I opened heavy eyes when I felt the cool air replacing the warmth of my blankets. I went to roll over, my hand moving to the gun on the bedside table. My senses weren't cluing me if there was threat, but I didn't want to take a chance.

My reach was halted when I felt a slim hand settle on my side, right in the dip where my stomach slid up into my hip. The hand was warm and the air suddenly filled with the smell of her shampoo. I dropped my hand and covered the one on my side, sliding my fingers into hers and pulling her hand and arm across my body. I heard Lauren sigh when her chest pressed into my back, her chin finding the perfect spot on my shoulder. I could feel her breath move across the skin on my neck, sending shivers through me.

"My room was cold." Lauren whispered close to my ear.

I smirked in the darkness at her using my cheesy excuse to climb into her bed a few days ago. I rolled on to my back to look at the woman in my bed. I still held on to her hand as it rest against my stomach. I brushed some hair away from her face and even in the minimal light of the room, she was still stunning. Her lids were heavy and moving slowly. She was about to pass out, "Sleep Lauren, I will be here in the morning."

Lauren breathed out and nodded, laying her head on my shoulder right above my heart. She moved her hand from mine, sliding it across my waist to pull me closer to her. She kissed the side of my neck gently before whispering, "I love you, Bo."

I swallowed hard, leaning over to kiss her forehead just as gentle, "I love you too, Lauren."

I watched Lauren breathe slowly until I was certain she was asleep. I took the few moments of silence to look at the woman snuggled into my arms. She looked different even as she slept heavily. She looked lighter and innocent, as if she was also finally relinquishing the control she always had in her life. I smiled, we were both equal in the loss of control, trusting in each other to guide us through the new territory set before us.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. This was what love actually felt like. An utter and complete lack of control and not caring one bit. I fell asleep easily from the warmth of the body in my arms. This is what love and freedom felt like.

* * *

XXXXXXX

I was in such a deep sleep that I did not hear the bedroom door creak open. My head was buried in the deep layers of the multiple soft pillows Bo kept on her bed. I moved when I heard the creak, snuggling deeper into the brunette next to me that was now laying half on top of me.

I had hoped Bo would come to me when we went to bed, but after an hour of waiting, I caved and went to her. I didn't want to be alone and sharing the one night with her, I knew I would never be able to sleep without her next to me. I fell asleep quicker than I had ever in my life and actually fell into a dream state. Something that had escaped me for years. I only slept a few hours a night out of bodily necessity and nothing more.

I heard my name being called softly, but it wasn't enough to stir me fully awake. I was half in a dream and half out. Dreaming about walking down a street in London with Bo on my arm. I shifted when my name came across my ears louder, I opened one eye and looked down at Bo snuggled into my breasts using them as a pillow. She was dead asleep.

I closed my eyes again to try to pick up the dream again.

"Lauren, I need you to wake up." The voice was all too familiar but I was still far too sleepy to fully acknowledge it. Habit spoke for me.

I mumbled, "Later Rebecca, I have a few hours until the private jet arrives." As soon as I said it, the familiar voice registered.

My eyes shot open and I sat up just enough to not wake Bo up but enough to look eye to eye with Rebecca standing in the door way. Her arms folded, jaw clenched and a pained look in her eyes.

She smiled tightly, I watched her eyes move from mine to settle on Bo snoring lightly, her arm wrapped possessively around me. "Good Morning Lauren."


	15. Chapter 15

Oh. Shit.

I worked my way out of Bo's death grip, trying to whisper so as not to wake the woman up. I knew there was about to be an all out war if I didn't get Rebecca out of the room and speak to her. Bo and Rebecca were like gasoline and fire, working together only to set the other off. If Bo woke up and saw Rebecca, there would be words spoken. Angry words.

I rolled free from Bo and out of the bed, hustling over to Rebecca. Relieved that I had opted to wear my sloppy pajamas pants and the baggy Senate Softball Classic '12 shirt to bed. I didn't need more judging looks from her. I waved at the smaller brunette, "Kitchen."

Rebecca stood off to the side as I brushed past her, not willing to move as quickly as I wanted her until I almost closed the bedroom door on her. I looked at her as I began to pull the door, "We can talk in the kitchen." I gave her a nonnegotiable look.

Rebecca's jaw was twitching to the point I was afraid it would pop out of joint. Rebecca breathed out hard and stepped in front of me, walking down to the kitchen. I glanced at the sleeping Bo, now in the middle of the bed and clutching my pillow close under her head. Bo was passed out, beyond passed out. She looked like she was in a coma. It was understandable since she had not actually had a full night of clear sleep in days.

I watched Rebecca's back as she walked down the stairs. Her posture already rigid and tense, hopefully I could explain to Rebecca before Bo woke up and they started up at each other. I made a quick detour to my bedroom, dragging on a sweatshirt before fully meeting Rebecca in the kitchen. I should have answered the phone the seven times I missed or ignored her phone calls, but the heart can be quite the distraction when it's in a perpetual state of motion.

Rebecca was still standing rigid at the island in the kitchen, her hands folded neatly on top of a file. I saw the angular handwriting of Dr. Zehren along the edge, "Dr. Zehren cleared you?" I busied myself with the coffee maker on the opposite counter and hoped the immediate change of subject to her health would dominate the conversation and take the steam out of what was going to come.

"How drunk is she this time? Or should I ask how drunk are both of you, Lauren?" The biting accusation surprised me. I mashed the start button on the coffee maker, "We are not drunk. Bo has not had a drop of alcohol in almost two weeks." I kept my tone calm and steady. For as calm and reserved as the woman could be, Rebecca could be equally as emotional when it came to things about me, us.

She huffed, "Could have fooled me." Rebecca was angry, I saw it when I caught her reflection in the glass of the cabinet holding my expansive bland coffee mug collection, "The sitting room reeks of scotch. Your eyes are bloodshot and puffy. And there is no worldly explanation why Ms. Dennis would be draped all over you in her bed snoring like a drunken hobo." Rebecca laughed, "Some highly trained agent she is. Couldn't hear me come into the house or the spare bedroom where the door creaks at a the right angle." The claws were out in full force and slashed at me with every cutting word she spoke.

I took in a slow breath, swallowing down my own vicious retort that she was percolating in me every other word she lashed out about Bo. "Let me repeat myself. Bo has not had a drink the entire time you have been gone. Why she is snoring like a drunken hobo." I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow repeating her creative metaphor for Bo, "Is because she also has not slept much in the last few days due to the incident and a last minute event on top of her training." I pointed at Rebecca with an empty slate grey mug, "I should also point out that you have the access codes and cards to gain entry to this house. It would be expected that neither her nor I would be highly aware of you coming home."

My hands went to the file under her hands, tugging at the edge, "What did Dr. Zehren say." I was firmer than I had been with her. I wanted her to get the hint, I was not going to continue discussing what she walked in on.

Rebecca held the file down with an open palm, "Are you sleeping with her?"The question was blurted at me, catching me very off guard. I shot a hard look up at her, landing on pale blue eyes failing to hide the hurt and jealousy. I shook my head slowly, "No. Nothing has happened between us in that room other than sleeping in the true meaning of the word."

"But something has happened, hasn't it, Lauren." The interrogator Rebecca was trained to be, was in full effect. Even as her eyes began to gloss over and she had to look away from me, "Is she, has she become my replacement in every aspect?" The last few words were spoken slowly and carefully.

I took a long breath in through my nose, trying to find the tact to tell my former lover and closest friend the truth. This was something I didn't want to deal with just yet. Especially a few short hours after the tornado of emotions I fought through and out of with Bo.

My fingers ran along the stiff edges of the file, lifting it up so I could slowly slide my hand under and try to pry it away from Rebecca. "No, she isn't your replacement like you think." I flicked my eyes around the kitchen until I found the pale blue eyes now staring harder at me. Tears fully rimming them. I sighed, "Something has happened between Bo and I, yes, but it's not physical and it's." I struggled to find the words. More so that I also had no idea what Bo and I had become overnight. We just were. "I can't explain it, Rebecca. The only word that comes to mind is amorphous."

Rebecca frowned at the science term making its way into a heartfelt conversation. It had happened many a time with her and she truly hated it. It wasn't purposeful that I used the term, but it was the best fitting word for the constantly shifting thing that was Bo and I over the last handful of days. "Why her, Lauren? She is a failed drunk. A selfish, angry woman who cares very little about much outside of where the next bottle will come from." Rebecca choked out a strained laugh, "Is that why you sent me to Geneva early and want me there permanently? So you can be free to start another quiet affair?" Rebecca's face began to grow red as her voice raised, "Was I not enough for you? Was I too boring and too concerned about you and not at all cared about myself?" She stared at me so hard I could feel it reach the back of my head. "I loved you Lauren, still do even though I cannot understand why. Since somewhere along the way you stopped caring. What happened? Was it because of this?" she tapped her fingers over her heart. "Was it because you couldn't handle being with me knowing that I could die any minute my body decided it didn't like the new organ you built me." her words were hard, ringing with partial truths. Rebecca waved at the ceiling angrily, "Now you have moved on to the next broken woman who you can take into your bed and not worry about fixing her. As long as you have a solid lock on the liquor cabinet, you two will be perfect."

I stood my ground. The words were digging at me, but I let her continue to yell at me. Rebecca had swallowed her emotions down for far too long and I needed to hear some of the things she was telling me. I slid the file closer to me, "It was nothing like that, Rebecca."

Rebecca huffed and shook her head, "You are being evasive. I don't know what you expected from me when I walk in and find you two cuddled up in bed like newlyweds."

I shook my head slightly, still maintaining a calm tone, "I don't expect anything, Rebecca. It is what it is." I knew I was not giving her the answers she wanted or the reaction she wanted. She wanted me to dig back and bicker with her like I had in the past.

Something about my tone set her off. She came around the corner in a breeze, stopping inches away from me, "Then what was it! What made you grow so cold and distant with me. I accepted your lonely workaholic ways. Took it all in stride when you seemed to shut down and crawl into the little bubble of work. All of it I accepted and stood by you, so I want to know, what the fuck are you doing with Bo? She is nothing but a useless drunk that will get you killed like the Ambassador."

I finally snapped. Her words echoed Carlton in that moment. I stood up straighter, keeping my voice low. I made sure I had her full attention before I spoke. "You want to know why I ended our relationship?" I pointed at her chest, "Because of that yes, but not how you think. I couldn't love you like you loved me. I let you go because when I gave you the new heart I wanted to give you a new chance to love someone who could love you like it deserved, like you deserve. Not go through a relationship on auto pilot and hope one day I would give you everything you thought you saw in me. You wanted marriage, kids, a full life any normal person would want. I wanted a Senate seat and to fulfill the impossible when I started the Criterion project." I scanned her eyes, "Remember it was you who told me that you were going to end things that day, but I beat you too it."

Rebecca cringed painfully, taking a step back. Silence sunk into the room quickly. Rebecca's eyes wavered from mine. The memory of her telling me with a kind smile that she was going to end the relationship, was visibly replaying.

"I know. It was because I thought that was what you wanted. I knew you felt guilt for making the last second decision to replace my heart. You tried to wait for my parents, but I was dying. You changed after that and I began to see there was no future." she leaned on the counter of the island behind her. Her anger and jealousy falling into realization that she had gotten jealous, letting it guide her emotions and words.

"And you have carried the guilt of not being there when the break-in happened. That's why you have never left my side and feared losing me. Our relationship had run its course before Paris, but we both were holding in hopes of not hurting each other." I laid a hand on hers on the edge of the counter, "I love you Rebecca, you are one of my closest friends, but I am far from in love with you."

I dropped my hand from hers, "As for Geneva, no, I was not sending you there to get you out of the way. Dr. Zehren and I both wanted to make sure your heart was taken care of." I picked up the file, "You know that long before Bo was even a thought in my head, you were going to Geneva to help find who the mole is at the Criterion Centre."

Rebecca took a shaky calming breath, "I know." she looked up at me, calmer now that she had said everything she needed, "I am sorry, Lauren. I still have feelings for you and I have a hard time letting go. Even though I had an idea the second day we were together we were not meant to be, I held on to some hope." She smiled weakly, "You are a pretty incredible woman, anyone would have a hard time giving you up so easily." Rebecca cleared her throat, stepping away from the counter, slipping back into her professional ways. Smoothing out the light green button down she wore, "Dr. Zehren cleared me completely. The second regrowth was successful. My heart is working better than ever."

I smiled genuinely, opening the file and looking over the test results on the first page. Her heart was working as if it was the day she was born. Pumping at full capacity and mirrored the strength of an athlete at peak physical condition. Her heart had improved tenfold from the first transplant Dr. Zehren and I had done two years ago. The pages of my coding layered the file. I had finally successfully identified Rebecca's faulty heart, removed the bad genetic code and replaced it with better. She would now live up to a hundred years or more with her new heart. As long as she kept the rest of herself healthy and active, the heart would continue to support her. I pushed pages around, "The stress test came out well, you are healing quickly." I glossed over a few of Erich's handwritten notes, congratulating me and pointing out what we could do better next time.

"I am. Dr. Zehren told me that I could run around the world non-stop and not skip a beat." Rebecca was softer now, almost nostalgic. She had a rough two years with her health and fighting for me to be something more than we both knew I could be. She finally had a new page of life to live and I wanted nothing more than her to live it fully. It was the reason why I did what I did for her, I wanted her to see the marriage and the kids she always wanted with someone.

I smiled, buried in DNA coding and surgery transcripts. The ultimate success of my work all in black and white was strange. It still felt incomplete too me. I was so engrossed in the file I didn't notice Rebecca moved closer until I felt her hand on mine as it rest on the edge of the marble counter top. "Thank you Lauren." Her voice was soft, resignation in the strained tones, "I don't think I ever said that too you yet." She pressed against my hand, silently asking for me to look at her and not the endless reams of scientific breakthrough I held. I slowly raised my eyes to her, "I will always care...I will always love you Lauren." Rebecca took a deep breath when I held her blue eyes. We said nothing, eye to eye, we spoke silently. She was silently resigning to the fact my heart was lost to her and that the brunette upstairs had found it. Her hand moved from mine and fell to smoothing out her shirt for a second time. It was her way of collecting herself back to the trusted assistant who stood by me for years. "If everything is set, I will begin phase two. I will meet you and Bo at the townhouse in the capital. Make sure everything is set for your arrival and then I will take the next flight back to Geneva." She took a step back, removing herself from my personal space, "I have the back channels set up for communication, and laid some of the foundation to start vetting and rooting out a few employees I am suspicious of at the centre."

Rebecca turned to make her way to the basement, one step away I gently grabbed her elbow, "Rebecca, if you don't want to continue with this, I won't force you."

She looked at my hand on her elbow, sighing lightly, "Your safety is more important than silly matters of the heart." She nodded and moved out of my grasp, "I will be downstairs if you need anything, Lauren."

Rebecca left me quietly. I kept looking at the doorway she exited from, file in my hand while my empty one seemed to drift aimlessly where it once held on to her elbow. Rebirths came in many forms, painful, beautiful, unexpected and expected. Painful and beautiful were two I faced today, both on opposite ends of the spectrum but completely necessary. I blinked a few times and shook out of my haze, focusing back on the file. I flipped to the back page, slowly deciphering Erich's own little code we had developed years ago for transmitting cryptic messages. He was telling me the key points of the outcome of Rebecca's heart. The regenerative properties I had added at the last minute when I finally broke through a stable formula. Rebecca's heart could now continuously heal itself when Erich put it through multiple stress tests. Electric shock, aortic tears, ruptures, over pressurizing and extreme temperature shifts. All of it resulted in the heart regenerating the damaged tissue in seconds to a few minutes, depending on the extent of the damage incurred.

I was in step one of completing the overall project I had begun years ago. Organs that could regenerate and live longer. Eliminating the need for multiple transplants or full regrowth procedures.

I slid the file under my arm, I was just under a year away from perfecting the process in extending human life and basically ridding the world of the need for a health care system. This was why I was creating new enemies every step of the way as more information leaked out. I had the religious people, the government people and the people who made their living off of the money generated by an outdated and ineffectual health care system. They would all want my head on a platter.

Walking to the granite sink basin, I thought about the threats and how much worse they were going to get if this last bit leaked out. I dropped the file into the bottom of the sink. I stared at it for a second before opening the side drawer and plucking the silly translucent pink cigarette lighter I had jammed in there from last Fourth of July. I flicked the little wheel, bringing the lighter to life. I watched the tiny flame wiggle erratically with the slight movement of air in the room. I slowly pushed the lighter down into the sink and caught the edge of the file on fire. The flames moved slowly, chewing away at the thick paper of the folder before it lit up quickly. Sinking its teeth into the thin sheets of paper and spreading.

Watching the paper burn, I wondered if my quest to help others was now going to far. I was getting too close to truly playing god and giving the world the gift of immortality when it was certainly not earned or deserved by many of us. I was faulty for being fueled by my constant need to improve and excel at everything I took on. It helped that I found a strange romance in the idea of immortality. But then reality of mortality was to live one life to the fullest and accept it one day at a time. I leaned over the sink, opening the window to let some of the smoke to drift out.

I looked up at the ceiling, hearing Bo move around in the bedroom. Humanity and mortality were painful and beautiful, like a rebirth. Both were only meant for a short period of time. Bo had given me both of those when she came into my life. I wanted to live one life to the fullest, find my humanity to love like all humans crave too.

Maybe I was playing god and maybe I should stop and enjoy the new life I could have. Actually live in the chance of living one life. I closed my eyes, breathing in the slight smoke lingering from the few smoldering embers. For the first time in my life, my heart and my mind were on the same page. Both wanted to live a life where love was a possibility, where a life outside of the sterile cocoon of science and politics could be had.

I pressed my hand over my heart, marveling at the different way it seemed to beat now.

Love was a mysterious science with no answers.

* * *

XXXXXXXXX

I lay in the bed, covers tucked up to my chin. I was motionless listening to Rebecca's raised voice as she demanded answers from Lauren. Asking if we were drunk and throwing in other harsh comments about my sobriety. Comments that even muted, dug at me.

When the voice became to muted to clearly hear anything, I sat up. Pushing my hand under the pillow, I wrapped my fingers around the butt of the P99 I had left tucked under it. I held it in both of my hands, looking at the matte black firearm.

I had heard Rebecca come into the house and then into the room. I had grabbed the P99 in the time she hit the stairs and the bedroom door, tucking it under the pillow in my left hand without moving too much to wake Lauren. I was unsure who was in the house, and I had a slight fear it was another bold break in. I had moved my body over Lauren to shield her just enough and still be able to get the first shot off when the door opened and I identified the attacker.

Then my nose picked up the faint traces of Rebecca's unique perfume, and when I cracked an eye open I saw the smaller brunette staring with a grimace on her face. Standing at the foot of the bed and obviously trying to contain an outburst of what I sure would have been a what the fuck is going on here. I played dead after recognizing it was her, adding in a gentle fake snore. I knew facing Rebecca in the unique position Lauren and I were "caught" in, it would be best to leave it to Lauren. Rebecca and I would just feed off the overall apparent distaste we shared for one another and it would become a cat fight. In this situation, cooler heads would truly prevail.

I sat up on the edge of the bed, sliding the P99 back into the holster on the bedside table. Running my hands over my hair, I knew I had made the best decision the second I heard Rebecca lose her shit. I strained to hear if Lauren was yelling back, but I only heard the former NSA agent lash out like a jealous ex, until it finally dissipated to nothing. Even if she did make jagged digs at my apparent coma like state, that I didn't notice there was someone in the room. Lauren was always calm and collected when Rebecca was in the room. It would not take long for her to bring the woman down to her level instead of rising to hers.

I stood up, stretching my hands that had been gripped too tightly around a gun and a blonde for longer than expected. I honestly felt bad for Rebecca. I could obviously tell from day one she had deep feelings for Lauren. The way she looked at her and fiercely protected her from me, made it clear.

It would definitely bother me like it was bothering Rebecca if I walked in and saw what she did. Her ex in bed sleeping with the one person she detested curled up in her arms. No matter the innocent circumstances of two people sharing a bed. I actually never wanted to think about Lauren in bed with anyone before me, it made my stomach churn in jealous envy.

I rubbed my eyes, I was still tired even as I slept almost perfectly for most of the night. The clock blinked 9:50 at me, telling me I had almost managed to get a full nine hours of sleep. I groaned softly and took the opportunity of Lauren tied up with Rebecca to shower quickly and dress. Choosing clothes that were in between casual and business casual. Decent jeans and one of the cream colored button downs hanging in the closet. For some reason I wanted to look presentable for Rebecca. Eliminate any chances for her to concoct even more rude comments to sling my way.

I found Lauren in the kitchen, leaning over the sink. Shoulders hunched over as she was deep in thought. I smiled at the simple sight of her from behind, still in pajamas she was beautiful. My heart did the skip jump it did whenever the blonde was near me. The feeling drifted into the pit of my stomach and began to bring to life areas of my body that had been left dormant for too long. I swallowed down the building desire of wanting to know how warm Lauren's skin would feel without the baggy shirts and pajama pants she wore to bed, and focused on anything else. Like the way I felt empty but relaxed now, lighter. Lighter now that all I had before me was her.

I moved closer to her, "Hey you, Good Morning." it was a soft greeting that I wondered if she heard it. Lauren made no move when I spoke. I moved to stand right behind, noticing the faint smell of something burning. I reached out, my fingers grazing her elbow, "Lauren?"

She flinched at my touch, turning the faucet on quickly. Lauren smiled as she glanced at me, "Morning." She saw me look down at the black mess in the bottom of the sink, "I burnt some toast."

Lauren waved at the mess, washing the embers down into the drain before turning around. Her back resting against the counter. She reached towards me, her hand running down my arm and settling in to mine. Her soft smile, the one that appeared when she was tired, crossed her face, "Did you sleep well, Bo?"

I nodded, lacing my fingers into hers, "I did, but I think I could sleep more if given the chance." I squeezed our hands together, "How are you?"

Lauren sighed, looking down at our hands, she knew what I was asking. "She's hurt, upset." Laurens thumb made soft circles around my knuckles, "I expected it when the time came to tell her or when she saw I finally moved on." The soft smiled turned tight, "Rebecca will be leaving in a few hours to get the townhouse ready for us. Then she will be taking her permanent position in Geneva tomorrow or the day after."

I was mildly taken aback by how quickly it seemed Lauren was moving Rebecca on, "Does this mean I'm done with training."

Lauren slowly removed her hand from mine, nodding, "Yes. All that is left is getting you settled in at the house. You will be diving right into work tomorrow morning." Lauren brushed past me, picking up one of the two coffee mugs sitting on the island. "I know what you're thinking. She is moving on to her new assignment quickly. But it was planned like this months ago. It has nothing to do with you or us." Lauren shuffled to the coffee maker, topping the cup in her hands off before walking to the staircase that lead down to her basement office.

Lauren was sad and tired, something was bothering her and my jealousy crept to the front of my mind. I spoke before she left the kitchen, "Lauren, are you okay?"

She took a deep breath, "I don't like hurting people, Bo." When she looked in my eyes, I saw nothing but complete sincerity. Lauren set her mug down and strode over to me. Her hand finding what I was beginning to realize was her favorite spot on my cheek. Looking into my eyes, she leaned forward, kissing me softly.

My hands fell to her waist, holding her and resisting the urge to pull her close against me. My heart pounded as my hands squeezed her hip. I knew in time, just kissing this woman would not be enough.

Lauren broke apart from me, looking down and licking her lips lightly, "I am also trying to get used to this, Bo. Us." she slowly looked up, "This. Us is so frighteningly new for my brain that it has actually stopped thinking. Letting my heart guide me." Lauren suddenly grinned, blushing and shaking her head at the sudden wave of embarrassment that washed over her. She dragged her fingers down my jaw slowly before her hand fell away from me, "I have a few things to do for the centre. After that, we can go to your house and grab whatever you may want or need." She bit her bottom lip, in an adorable way that made me want to kiss her again, "If you would like, I was thinking we could have one last lunch at Paco's?" Something was on her mind, her face was telegraphing it.

I smiled, more so grinned. Lauren made me want to do that more, "Sure, lunch would be perfect."

Lauren nodded, kissing my cheek before returning to her mug and disappearing downstairs.

There was something strange in the air. I figured it was because of the newness of having someone know everything and not having to hide myself behind lies and deflection. I grabbed the lone mug on the counter, filling it with coffee and taking long drinks of the warm, brown liquid. I wanted to ask about the argument I had heard bits and pieces of, but knew I should wait until Lauren and I were alone. Somehow having Rebecca in the house would most likely stifle any honest conversation. The two women had a lengthy friendship mixed with a short relationship, it would be expected there would be a sense of unspoken respect to maintain.

* * *

Halfway through the mug of coffee, I suddenly walked to the cabinet and removed the box of scotch I had hidden up there the night before. Removing the bottle from the box, I carried it to the liquor cabinet Lauren had at the edge of the sitting room. Carrying the weighty, expensive bottle, I felt free. Free from the amber liquid that once controlled me. I would always have a taste and a craving for it, but now I finally wanted to stay sober. I finally had reasons too. One was the blonde one floor below me.

I bent down in front of the cabinet, pushing whiskey and gin bottles out of the way to make a spot large enough for the Chivas.

"Little early for a drink, don't you think. Ms. Dennis."

Groaning internally at the thick sarcastic venom of Rebecca's words, I set the Chivas into its new spot, "I don't drink any more, Rebecca." I stood up, closing the cabinet door. Turning to face the woman who was slowly becoming my arch nemesis, "I was finding the Chivas a new home among better suited friends. I no longer need it." I kept my tone light and almost humorous, I did not want to rile up the former NSA agent.

Rebecca raised an eyebrow, smirking at me, "You say that now, in time you will be back at it. You've already slipped too many times to prove me to believe otherwise." taking a step closer, she handed me a thick packet, "This is the rest of your training. The access cards and codes to the townhouse. Instructions on how the security system works and lastly, Senator Lewis's monthly itineraries until spring."

I took the packet with both hands, "I mean it Rebecca. I am sober for good. I love...Lauren is far too important to continue living as I have." I bit back the words, changing them mid-sentence. I didn't want to add insult to injury, the hurt she was carrying on her face poorly.

Rebecca stared at me, obviously trying to get a read on me. Her stare was intense and unnerving, "Not to use my Great Aunt's silly recycled phrase, but a leopard doesn't change its spots." She folded her arms tightly over her pristine pale green button down, "I have met many others like you, Bo. Drowning themselves in the pity of whatever they think they deserve to be pitied for. Then make half assed attempts at change when they find a shiny new penny that might give them hope."

My jaw clenched on its own. Rebecca was pissing me off and I tried to keep from biting back, "You don't know me." I gripped the packet, the paper envelope crinkling under my fingers, "Whatever you think you saw this morning, it's wrong. Whatever you think I am, it's wrong." I held her stare, returning the intimidating glare she was handing down. "You have no idea what my past is and how much I care for Lauren. I am willing to sacrifice everything to keep her alive, safe."

Rebecca laughed, her hands moving to hang on her hips, "Anything but wake up when someone is in the room where she is very vulnerable to an attack. Great job protecting her. Obviously sleep takes precedence over the safety of the woman you "care" so much for." Rebecca flicked her hand in front of my face, "You're nothing but full of shit and excuses, Bo."

I threw the packet on the table above the liquor cabinet, the thick slap of paper meeting hard wood making Rebecca flinch ever so slightly. I closed the small distance between us, inches away from her I waited until I had her eyes on mine. When they were, I saw the smallest glint of fear in her eyes from rushing her like I did.

"The front door was opened at 9:10 am. You disarmed the system at 9:12. I heard the five digit code beeping as you entered it. You then moved through the kitchen, the sitting room before making your way upstairs at 9:18." I craned my neck closer to the woman, "If it wasn't for the Chanel No. 5 you seem to bathe in at times, I would have shot you in the right shoulder and right lung with the gun in my left hand hidden under the pillow. If you paid any attention at all to anything other than your rampant jealousy, you would have noticed I was laying on top of Lauren in the standard shielding position we are all taught in day one of defense tactics. Shielding a Fallen Asset 101." I paused for effect, "Anyone who wanted to get to Lauren, had to go through me." I watched as her pupils dilated ever so slightly, "I faked it, played dead to save you or Lauren from anymore embarrassment."

Rebecca knew I was not lying. Both of us had the training to monitor eye movements. The fluctuations and twitches everyone does when they are lying or trying to avoid the truth. I leaned back after I was certain she had read me loud and clear, "Don't ever assume the lengths I will or will not go to protect Lauren. I will kill and be killed for her."

Rebecca smirked, looking away from me, "The sacrifice lamb look doesn't suit you, Bo. So don't lay it on that thick." she cleared her throat, her eyes returning to mine, "Do assume the lengths I will go to keep her safe, Bo." Rebecca leaned closer to me, "If you value your life and freedom, you keep her alive and safe as you promised. If you love her like she loves you, you will change your damn spots and never look back."

I snapped back, "Are you threatening me?" I wanted to laugh in this woman's face, I could run circles around her.

Rebecca's smirk fell into a genuine smile, "No, Bo, it's not a threat. It is my dedication to seek out your quiet demise from the world of protection and the world in general if anything that you can prevent happens to Lauren. If she is harmed, well, the rest is self-explanatory for a smart girl like you." The smaller woman stepped back, pushing much needed space between us. "I will see you in the capital tonight."

With that, Rebecca left the room, leaving me to decipher her words. Did she threaten me with my life or just a lifelong misery. I sighed, I didn't like the woman but I knew I could not underestimate her. I turned, retrieving the packet I had thrown and left the sitting room.

I forced a smile when I ran into Lauren, dressed in her usual of the only pair of jeans I ever saw her in and a pale faded red v-neck, asking if I was ready for lunch. "Of course. Just let me drop this in my room and I'll meet you at the car." Lauren smiled genuinely, the strange sadness was gone from earlier. Replaced by the smile that had caught my heart's attention the first time it came my way. Lauren winked at me and jogged down the stairs.

In the bedroom, I set the packet on the dresser. My hands laid on my hips as I looked around the room. I felt the overwhelming need to prove everyone wrong. That I could love Lauren like Davey saw I did, love her like I did and want too, and prove Rebecca wrong that I could love and keep her safe at the same time.

I also had to prove myself wrong that history could be broken and not repeat itself.

* * *

Lunch never happened.

I took far too long digging around in my house and packing bags that when Lauren and I finally left to head back to Malibu, the freeway was gridlocked. Shut down due to a massive car accident that would keep everyone in an exhaust ridden holding pattern for hours.

Lauren was distracted and not by the traffic jam. Her phone had rung incessantly since the media had gotten their hands on the small tidbits revolving around the incident at my house. She was fielding multiple calls from reporters and fellow politicians, trying to have her point of view given. I focused on driving, more like sitting in traffic listening to the radio and playing some addictive quick paced puzzle game I downloaded to my phone.

Just as I was about to break level 44 of the game and set a new high score, Lauren tapped my forearm, "Bo, see if you can take this next exit. We need to get to the airport soon. Our flight has to take off within the hour to avoid the incoming snowstorm on the east coast."

I didn't look at her until I beat the level. When I did, I hissed excitedly and turned to the blonde smirking at me. "I don't recall telling you that you could download apps on that phone." Lauren peered closer, "Smashburger?" she pushed the phone down with one finger to get a better look. I pulled the phone away, shutting it off and hiding it in the driver's side door and away from the prying eyes of the Senator.

"I get bored sometimes reading emails." I focused on maneuvering the car to the far right lane to hit the next exit, "And no, you never told me that I couldn't download apps. You just said not to lose the phone."

Lauren laughed, leaning back in to her seat, "I thought it was given when I told you the phone was encrypted and highly classified." She sat in her seat, body angled towards me. "I thought you to be more of a Tetris girl."

I leaned over the steering wheel eyeballing the tiny space between the front end of the Lincoln and the dirty pig truck in front of us, "I couldn't find a full version of Tetris for free. So Smashburger it is." I turned to look behind and couldn't help but smile back at the way Lauren was looking at me.

Although we had not had much deep conversation at the house while I threw underwear and brand new tailored suits on the bed, griping that I couldn't find shit in my room. Things were easier between us, the thick air and the thick tension that managed to follow us since my first day was gone. Our conversations, however minimal and however long they took before another call came for Lauren, were all easy and light. Nothing significant.

Lauren had a silly ease about her and a dry sense of humor when she found my collection of beer t-shirts. Holding each one up against her chest, "Maybe I will take the Pabst Blue Ribbon one and wear it at the next Foreign Press dinner."

I laughed lightly at the recent memory, making Lauren poke my shoulder, "What's so funny?"

I shook my head, "I am just thinking about the PBR shirt you wanted to take." I looked over as I found the exit, "The one I yanked out of your hand and threw back into my closet?"

Lauren smiled, nodding, "Yes, good thing I stole the Miller High Life one. It was actually the one I wanted, I used the other shirt to distract you."

I went to say something about her audacity to steal a former drunks coveted beer swag, when her hand glided over my shoulder to rest on the curve of my neck, "Take the next right after this light. The airport is four blocks down."

I nodded and swallowed hard, her touch was always warm and now it was sending flutters down to my stomach. I drove, enjoying the first moment with Lauren that was not full of strife and angst. We were just two women in a car enjoying each others company. Never mind the fact I was her bodyguard and protecting her from multiple threats issued by multiple enemies.

Lauren's hand left it's place on my neck as I pulled into the large, private airport. "Pull the car over to that large plane next to the small white one."

I followed her orders and parked the car next to the white LearJet. Lauren got out first and was greeted by an older man wearing the typical pilot uniform, standing right outside the steps to the jet. I collected my things and stepped out. Coming face to face with a large younger man with the typical blonde hair, blue eyes of a surfer kid, grinning at me.

"Hello Ms. Dennis, my name is Jake. I can take the car from here." he held out his hand for the keys. I looked over to Lauren. She was busy talking over something on a sheet of paper in the pilot's hands. "Ms. Dennis, if there is anything you would like to take on the flight with you, please take it now."

"All my bags I guess? They need to go with me." I popped the trunk and walked to the rear of the Lincoln. Jake reached down and grabbed the two large duffel bags I had, lifting them with and setting them to the side. "I will get these to the jet for you. But first I need to load the car on the cargo plane. Senator Lewis would like the cars in Washington right after you arrive. She likes to keep a punctual schedule and I don't want to be the reason she might be late."

I felt my jaw drop, looking at the massive grey cargo plane with the rear hatch open. I pointed at it, "You mean she is having my car flown back to D.C.?"

Jake grinned wider, "Yes Ms. Dennis. Senator Lewis always has her cars transported back and forth by air." He held out his hand again. I dropped the keys in his palm, still in awe of what Jake explained to me. He palmed the keys, hopped into the driver's seat and sped off with the Lincoln. I watched as he expertly drove the heavy car up the large ramp and came out a few seconds later. Running back over to me, picking up my bags with a smile and then running over to the lear jet. Jake disappeared at the back of the jet and my eyes were drawn back to Lauren waving me over to the stairs.

"Are you ready Bo? Sam has shown me the flight plan. If we leave now, we can miss the snowstorm and be at the townhouse time for an early dinner." She was wearing her aviators, holding her hand out to usher me closer.

I looked at her confused as I moved closer, not taking her hand. I didn't want to make it overly obvious that her and I were closer than employer and employee. I didn't know Sam and wanted to get my own read of him before I started indulging in any PDA's in front of him. "Yea, I am ready." I pointed with two fingers at the massive cargo plane, the rear hatch closing slowly, "You are flying the Lincoln back?"

Lauren laughed, nodding, "And the Cadillac. They are my cars, why would I not have them at home I spend eleven months of the year at?"

I followed behind her as we walked up the stairs and into the cool, elegant interior of the jet. "Isn't that expensive?" I took the first seat that I spotted. A beige leather high back chair with a small white table set in the middle with another set of identical leather high backs on the opposite side. Lauren took a seat in the one kitty corner from mine, next to a window.

She was still smiling, fiddling with the seatbelt, "It is. It is much cheaper and more efficient than driving the car across the country. Those cars are custom made and take months to complete the production process." She reached over to the small refrigerator behind the table and chairs, handing me a bottle of water.

I held the bottle of water in my hands, the cool condensation around the bottle sent a tiny shiver through my arms. I couldn't resist asking, "How much money do you have, Lauren?"

Lauren sipped at her water, her brow furrowed in thought. Setting the water down, "The Lewis steel empire is worth close to three billion dollars. I am the only child and heir to that fortune. Aside from my inheritance I have other incomes from projects and formulas I created in college. From that I have a steady income of two or three million dollars a year from the patents and royalties."

Lauren leaned back in the plush leather chair, "My Senator salary is about $175,000 a year. That salary I take and donate it all back into the communities and charities I think need it the most. Oddly enough my government salary has saved a few non-profit programs the Senate and Congress cut funding too." Lauren rolled the bottle cap in her fingers, "Like I said Bo, I am not in this for the money, the power, or the fame. It only affords me free access to certain parts of the government I need to keep an eye on and do some good around the country. Money is unimportant to me, but unfortunately, necessary."

I was silent. The numbers she poured out to me, were numbers I only heard in movies or in the budget crisis news reports. Lauren was beyond wealthy and when her project at the Criterion was completed, she would see endless wealth as people threw money at her for the secret to life and immortality.

My silence was unnerving to Lauren. She twisted in her seat, "Bo I don't live extravagantly, as you can tell by my boring t-shirts and five year old pair of jeans. I do spend money, yes. But on things that will make things easier and safer for me to move around. Like I told you, I fund all of my own protection. Yes, I could probably buy enough custom Lincolns and Cadillac's to have in Malibu, D.C. And the other random places I have homes. But that is a poor way to manage your money."

I reached over, grabbing her hand that was fidgeting with the plastic bottle cap, "Lauren, I don't care about your money. I honestly haven't cashed the first paycheck you gave me and I gave the last two thousand dollars for new clothes to Tito to buy new equipment for the little league team he coaches." I watched Lauren breath out and ease up on torturing the cap in her hands, "I probably shouldn't have asked about your money. But the last time I drove a car on to a cargo plane, it was for that handsome movie star in all the top action films. He didn't hesitate to tell me how much the flight to ship his Aston Martin from San Francisco to Austria was costing him. He only makes ten million a picture and tried to use every dollar of that to get into my pants." I leaned back into the soft cushion of the chair, letting go of her hand.

Lauren looked at me, eyebrows raised in curiosity, "And did it?"

I shook my head, "Money is not important too me." I picked up my water and brought it to my lips, "The way into my pants is a lot more complicated than throwing money around. It takes creativity and romance." I smirked, watching Lauren blush slightly.

I turned to the window across from me, taking a sip of water when I heard in a low voice, "I can be creative and romantic." The water slid down my throat the wrong way when I gasped hearing Lauren's comment. Causing me to choke suddenly and cough up the drops of water that ended up in my windpipe. Looking at Lauren with that smirk and an innocent look on her face, I began to feel flush and overheated.

I wiped my mouth, trying to regain my cool when the pilot, Sam came back to us. He looked truly the part of a pilot. Slicked back salt and pepper hair, perfect tan and white teeth, he sat on the edge of the armrest of the couch across from us. "Ladies, we are two minutes from wheels up. Anything you need before I head up to the cockpit?"

"We are both fine, Sam." Lauren was still reveling in her ability to one up me, "How long will the flight take?"

"A handful hours, five at the most. We have nothing but clear skies and good winds from here to the city." Sam stood up, straightening his tie, "Alright ladies, if we are all set I will get this bird up in the air and this flight on its way." Sam tapped the edge of the white table and walked back to the cockpit.

Lauren watched him disappear before settling her eyes back on me. Her mischievous smirk was slight but still there. She went to say something when her phone rang. Swiping the phone screen she answered the phone in cheery french. Speaking quickly to whoever was on the other line and I, once again, was left staring at her in mild awe.

Lauren was a Senator, a doctor, a billionaire to be, beautiful, apparently multilingual, beyond a genius, sexy as hell and had the biggest heart I had ever met in anyone. For a second I wanted to ask outright, what the hell did she see in me? I was just a girl from Pittsburgh who almost made it in the major leagues of the Secret Service.

I felt the jet begin to move and looked up at Lauren. She was still on the phone, quickly wrapping up her conversation as Sam announced take off. Lauren hung up and dropped the phone in the cup holder off to the side. "That was the French Ambassador. He would like to have dinner with me sometime next week and discuss foreign policy." She looked up in my eyes, "He was asking me out on a date." Lauren said it was a firm certainty.

I felt the jealousy bubble up. "Oh? And did you accept?" I rolled the bottle of water across the small white table top.

Lauren smiled, almost giggling, "No. I told him that I was very busy until after the new year and that I was very much unavailable to date in general." Her golden brown eyes held mine in silence for a moment. "That I had my eye on someone else." I felt my throat go dry as sand. I had to look away from her. Lauren made me nervous even though we had professed love and intense feelings for one another, we were still something and nothing all at the same time. I didn't want to pursue a conversation of what we were now while flying in the air. I would save it for the capital and when I was settled in the new house. I bit the inside of my mouth, trying to find something to change the topic of conversation to anything else.

"How many languages do you speak? I have experienced Czech, Spanish and French." I let out a small sigh, "Is there anything you can't do Lauren Lewis?"

Lauren shrugged, "I speak nine languages. Czech, Spanish, French, German, Russian, Mandarin Chinese, Farsi, and recently I learned Italian." She spun her chair, throwing her feet up on the other one, "The only thing I can't do is roller skate. My body is uncoordinated with the graceful skills needed to successfully roll on wheels and push the skates. Davidek tried to teach me when we were kids and I would just fall on my bum. I eventually gave up, realizing roller skating was better left to others."

It was my turn to grin, "Roller skating?! The great Senator Lewis can't roller skate!" I clapped my hands in excitement, "Well, this is perfect." I pointed at myself with both thumbs, "You are looking at the roller skating champ of 1998 right here. I rocked out the competition that year at the annual Skate World Rock and Roll event." I leaned forward, "I think I am going to have to take on the task of teaching you how to roller skate, Lauren."

Lauren shook her head feverishly, "No, no, no. I am quite happy in life without it." She held up her hands, waving at me to forget it.

I leaned closer to her, "You will learn and the we will have a skate off. Like the shoot off and the winner gets the same prize." I glared at her jokingly, "Since I can't seem to out shoot you."

She cut me off, "So you are going to out skate me." Lauren squinted at me, the look of determination falling into her golden brown eyes as they sparkled, "Fine, challenge accepted." she held out her hand to me and I took it, shaking it once to seal the deal of a skate off.

I tapped my fingers on the edge of the table, "Oh by the way, when are you going to collect your prize from the shooting range? I don't have any dresses to wear for the next month. I can cook, sorta." I raised my eyebrows at her.

Lauren's smile faded to the genuine one that made my heart melt every time I saw it, "I will. Don't worry. I have something in mind." She unbuckled her seat belt and stood up, "I am going to make a sandwich in the back, would you like one?"

Looking in her eyes made me wonder exactly what it was she had in mind. The way she looked at me made me feel all sorts of amazing things. I sucked in a breath, my resolve to take it slow and not resist the physical attraction I had for this woman was faltering every minute she was bolder with me. I had to break my Lauren induced trance and force myself to say yes to a handmade sandwich.

Watching Lauren walk to the back of the jet, I thought again, why the hell did I get so lucky?

* * *

XXXXX

"Bo, I told you to bring a winter coat." I glanced over at Bo shivering in her sweatshirt and the two extra liners from my winter coat and one Sam gave her as we landed. "It's twenty five degrees here, not the warm seventy five you are used too."

I heard her teeth chatter in response as I punched in the access code to the townhouse. I pushed the door open and helped Bo inside. Closing the heavy wood and glass door behind us, I waited for the magnetic locks to click before I moved to help Bo off with her layers.

Shivering as she pulled her arms out, "I know what Washington winters are like. Brutal and icy." she rubbed her hands together, "That's why I left the first chance I could for the west coast." Bo looked around the foyer we stood in.

"Wow, this is impressive."

The townhouses were in the trendy part of the district. My townhouse was built at the turn of the twentieth century and modernized but maintained the original bones of the house. It was large and four levels with three bedrooms, four baths, a secured basement like I had in the Malibu home and an expansive library and kitchen. The decor was warmer than the stark minimalism I chose for the Malibu home. Deep earth tones and cream colored highlights made the house warm and cozy. I wanted it like that since it was my full time home, the feel of the house kept my mind active and focused. Whereas Malibu let me clear my mind out and have nothing other than the ocean to think about.

I hung up Bo's coats, "Rebecca has set everything up. Your bags and car will be here within the hour and parked into the garage off to the side of the basement level." I held out my hand, "Would you like the full grand tour?"

Bo grinned and took my hand. I knew she was being careful with how much we touched in public. Reading everyone around us to determine if they were trusted employees or not. I didn't want to clue her in on who was who. I wanted her to stay alert and vigilant of who was around us at any given time. Sam made the comment when I went to thank him and say goodbye, "That girl should play poker, she reads faces and tells better than anyone I have ever met."

I squeezed Bo's hand, enjoying the way it fit in mine and the way it still made me feel completely safe. It was invigorating to let my guard down with the brunette, dusting off my flirting skills on the plane and relishing the effect it had on the woman. I loved making Bo blush and stammer and I intended to do it as much as possible. As I walked Bo down the long foyer with deep tan colored walls, I was beginning to feel a stronger physical attraction to her. Wanting to touch her, hold her hand and kiss her whenever I could. I knew she wanted to take it slow and I didn't want to rush her into anything. Especially since she just shed the deep layers of thick skin she hid under for years. I didn't want to take advantage of her obvious vulnerability. I also wanted to go slow and not jump into bed and explore every inch of the woman, but I knew my strength in not wanting that would not last long and I would cave in.

"This is the kitchen. A full chef's kitchen and is fully stocked. I have it restocked every two weeks by a private delivery service I use. I will show you the order program to get what you want or need." I walked us through the large granite and steel laden room to the library.

I stopped in the doorway of the library, standing on the antique rug that laid from wall to wall. Smiling at the floor to ceiling bookshelves that covered every wall, holding the books I crammed on every inch of shelf I could. "My favorite room of the house. My library." I sighed, "Any book you could want is here. From medical texts to law books, photography books and." I pointed at the far bookshelf under the large window, "Some of the best fiction I have ever read." I turned to look at Bo, "As with the kitchen, anything you would like is here or can be here."

Bo grinned and leaned into me, wrapping her other hand around my arm, "I think I will be fine with what's here."

I looked over Bo, her face relaxed and happy. Only small traces of being tired lingered around her eyes. This Bo was something new for me. Lighter and open to me. "Let's head upstairs and I will show you the bedrooms."

I let her hand go as I walked to the large wooden staircase that led up to the other levels of the house. I took Bo to the third floor, opening a large ornate wooden door. "This is your room, Bo." I stepped inside to let Bo look at her new accommodations, "It's a bit bigger than the spare in Malibu." I pointed at the large bed with a headboard carved with ornate flowers and thorns, "Same size bed. The closet has extra blankets and sheets on the top shelf."

I moved my hand to the other side of the room where a dresser sat underneath a TV on the wall, "Dresser and television." I walked over to the side of the bed, "You have a private bathroom with a full tub and shower." I sat on the edge of the bed and pushed a small button on the bedside table, allowing a small drawer to open up from underneath the false drawer of the wooden table. I pressed one of the small black buttons lined across the length of the drawer. I looked up as the armoire on the far wall swung out of the way to reveal a grey room with fluorescent lighting. "This is the panic room." I stood up and motioned for Bo to follow me.

Inside the room there were racks holding body armor and empty spots where handguns and other weapons could be placed. "I had this installed after my attack at the other house." I flicked a switch, lighting up monitors set into the wall. "The house has cameras everywhere on the outside and a handful on the inside at entry points." I looked over at Bo, her jaw was clenched as the reality of this room and why I had it came back. "In the back of the room is a small staircase, large enough for one person to squeeze through. It will take you down to the secured basement and to the garage. That is where I have it set up for a quick escape if the time comes." I flicked the monitors off, "The rest of the room is self explanatory. It has its own venting system, HVAC system and it is on a separate internet and telephone connection that Ivan set up to be remote. Meaning it cannot be tampered with." I turned to face Bo, my hands settling on her upper arms, "Are you okay?" I didn't like the slight turn in her demeanor as I showed her the panic room.

Bo nodded, "Yea, I just. I think I forgot for a moment...certain things."

I ran my hand down, finding hers again to lead her out of the room. I hit the button on the bedside table, closing up the panic room. Allowing it's existence to fade back into the façade of a fully functioning armoire.

"Is this Rebecca's old room?" Bo's voice was soft, making me pause my steps in the middle of the room. I turned to her, still holding on to her hand.

When I saw the awkwardness in her eyes, I stepped closer to Bo, "No, it's not. When I moved into this townhouse we were in a relationship. After things ended, she moved down to the room next to the basement office." I squeezed Bo's hand, "This room has been empty for years." I searched her eyes, "Bo, you are not a replacement for her." I pulled her hand up and set it against my chest over my heart, "This should tell you that. Every time you doubt or wonder about what I feel for you." I pressed her hand down so she could feel the race of my heart, "Know that my heart has never done this or beat like this for anyone. Anyone until I met you." I leaned closer, kissing the corner of her mouth, "I love you, Bo. Only you." I whispered the words against her cheek, under her ear.

I heard her sigh, her arm sliding across my waist and pulling me against her. Sliding her hand free from my chest so she could fully embrace me. "I love you." Bo whispered the three small words slowly before she nuzzled into my shoulder holding me tightly. This was new for her just as it was new for me.

We held each other for a moment until she leaned back, smiling as she ran a fingers through my hair, "Where is your bedroom?"

I chuckled nervously, making Bo semi back track, "Oh no, no. I don't mean it that way. I meant it, um, in case I have to get to you or if my room gets too cold at night." She bit her bottom lip, blushing at the mild Freudian slip.

I looked over my shoulder, "It's right across the hall. It looks exactly like this one but more like the library downstairs. I have books and files everywhere, it's a bit of cluttered mess." I turned back to look in the dark brown eyes of the woman in front of me.

Dark brown eyes that saw me for who I really was, making me wonder how lucky I was to stumble across this incredible and complex woman. "You are more than welcome to come in when your room gets too cold." I drew my fingers over her cheek, letting my thumb settle where her dimple was hiding, "I just thought you would like your own space now that we are living together."

Bo laughed, leaning into my hand, "Talk about jumping the gun. From first kiss to moving in together." She took a step out of my arms, "I wish my bags would get here, I am freezing." Bo shivered and rubbed at her arms.

I looked around the room to the thermostat, "The house is on the same system as Malibu. Rebecca should have turned up the heat before she left." I moved to the thermostat, the system was on high but since the house was so large, it was taking a while for the heat to circulate through all of the rooms.

I tapped the small digital screen, "Another hour and the house will be perfect." I turned to Bo, "You can borrow one of my sweaters in the meantime."

The doorbell ran loudly throughout the house. I shrugged, "Or I will be right back with your bags." I knew it was Jake. He was punctual to a fault and never more than a second or two late.

Bo held up her hand, "I can get them."

I waved her off, "Walk around this floor and explore. I have to talk to Jake about the cars anyways." I ran out of the room and downstairs before she could protest any further.

I met Jake at the door and collected Bo's bags and the small package I had him pick up for me. I tipped him heavily and thanked him. I carried Bo's bags back upstairs and set them on her bed. I placed the small brown package on top of her bags, running my hands over the rough brown edges.

Bo walked out of the bathroom smiling, "That tub is amazing. I feel like I should pay you rent to stay here."

I laughed lightly, "I don't think you could afford the rent here, even with the paychecks I give you and you don't like to cash." I patted at the bags, "Everything is here. I will let you get unpacked and settled in for a little bit. I have a few emails and phone calls to make before we decide on dinner." I picked up the small brown package, "Here, this is for you."

Bo smiled sheepishly, "Is it another gun? Or a better holster?" She took the box from me slowly.

I grinned, knowing what was in the box, "It's neither. It's a small gift."

Bo furrowed her brow at me, "A gift? I don't think I have done anything to deserve a gift."

I sighed, "Just open it, Bo." I rolled my eyes at the brunette who hesitated to open the package. I gave her a firm look and she rolled her eyes, sliding a finger under the lid of the box. "Lauren, you don't have to give me anything. I think, if anything, I owe you a gift or two for everything you have done." She kept talking as she opened the lid, her words stopped when she saw the contents.

Bo set the box down on the pale grey comforter, reaching into the box with both hands she pulled out a small picture frame. She held it while a huge grin spilled across her face, the dimple making its first appearance in this house. She turned to look at me, showing me the picture, "How?"

I moved closer, motioning to the box, "Keaton sent me pictures of us feeding the penguins, thinking I could use them as promotional items for my next campaign. I saw this one and asked him to print it out and send it." I pointed at the box, "There's one more thing in there, it's a little cheesy but I couldn't help it." Bo held the picture of her kneeling in front of Norbert holding her hands out right before he snuggled up to her. She pressed it against her chest as she reached back into the box, removing a small stuffed penguin that looked exactly like Norbert.

She laughed out loud when she held the small stuffed animal in her hand, "Norbert, my fish eating boyfriend." Bo turned to me, still grinning and happy. "This is amazing Lauren, cheesy, but amazing."

I moved to stand next to her, my hand finding her upper arm so I could pull her to face me, "The picture I wanted you to have, because it was the first time I saw you happy. The first time I saw you smile like you are now. I knew in that moment that I was in love with you and I would do anything to see that smile again and as often as possible." I watched Bo's eyes gloss over. I nodded at Norbert in her hands, "And Norbert here, is to remind you of how much you mean to others." I bent forward, brushing my lips over hers. Smiling at the way her lips trembled and gasp when I wouldn't close the small space between us and kiss her. I leaned back to tease her more when I felt a strong hand grip the back of my head and pull me to her. Our lips met harder than last few times we kissed. I moaned at the pressure and the slight nip of her teeth on my bottom lip. I held Bo's jaw with my hand, steadying her so I could taste every inch of her mouth and not worry about her backing away. My tongue found hers, pulling a whimper from the woman that almost made my knees give out. Instead of collapsing from weakened knees, I wrapped my other arm around her waist to hold Bo steady and hold myself up. We kissed passionately, feverishly and when I felt her breasts push harder against mine I felt my own gasp pass over my lips. I went to lean back from the kiss, finding Bo still holding on to my bottom lip lightly with her teeth. Letting me go when she felt ready too, smirking at me when she did finally release me.

I looked down hazily at the woman who was licking her lips, looking at me with a dark sensual look that sent a lighting bolt straight through to the middle of my body. I swallowed down a dry throat and wiggled free from our bodies melded together. I ran a hand over my hair, smoothing out the part Bo had tangled in her hand, "Um, We should think about dinner." Dinner was the last thing I was thinking about.

Bo bit her lip, flushed and grinning, "Yea dinner." She looked down at the stuffed penguin in an attempt to cool herself down.

I folded my arms across my chest awkwardly, "Okay, I will, um, be in the kitchen?" I turned to leave, "You can meet me down there and we can decide carry out or make something." I was fumbling like a teenager. That kiss took my breath away and made me want to increase the temperature in the room the old fashioned way. I nodded to no one and walked to the door when I heard.

"Lauren, how did I ever manage to get so lucky to have you fall into my life?" Bo was looking at me with a soft genuine smile and her eyes were void of the desire that was there just seconds ago, replaced by an honest need to know why.

I dropped my gaze down at the hardwood floors under my feet, "I think the same thing about you, Bo." I made the moment even more awkward by saying nothing more and leaving her to go to the kitchen. There was nothing more to say or think in that moment. We had stumbled upon each other in the strangest circumstances with no way to explain it other than it was what it was.

In the kitchen I stood in front of the open fridge. Looking over the bland and boring organic health food I forced myself to eat. I closed the fridge after a few minutes and opened the drawer full of carry out menus. Digging around for my favorite Chinese restaurant menu, my phone vibrated in my back pocket.

I had a few emails. One about the charity ball and it being moved up from next week to this week, three days away. I groaned at the idea of having to throw on a gown and mingle around the sea of politicians and their mundane spouses. I replied to the email and went through the rest.

The last one caught my attention. It was from Rebecca.

_-Lauren,_

_My back channels have picked up some chatter. The New Church of the Rising Son has popped up in the D.C area. One of their men was picked up on a traffic warrant. The police found surveillance photos of you out at the beach house and then at the Dulles airport only two hours ago. Metro is interviewing the man, trying to pry more information out. All they could get from him was him repeating the same thing, "Senator Lewis will get what is coming to her. The lord frowns upon those who try to take his place in the kingdom."_

_I have sent the information to Bo and adjusted the security systems accordingly. I suggest you exercise extreme caution if you are out in public. They are bold enough to make a public attack._

_I will forward everything I hear from my contacts. As always, Lauren, if you need me I will be there._

_Please be careful._

_R. -_

I clicked on the attachment she sent me. Photographs of the worn down Ford pickup taken in as evidence by Metro and the handful of pictures spread out on a table. There was a picture of Bo and I on the tarmac, running through the cold wind and few snowflakes fluttering around us. The photo was taken just as we landed. I sighed hard and closed the email, rubbing at my eyes.

All the moments of peace and happiness I felt over the last few hours of being back home was torn apart. They knew when I was home and where I was at any given time. It was only a matter of time before I would face another attack or incident. This time it there was more to lose because I was in love with the woman who would give her life to keep me safe.


	16. Chapter 16

I spent the few minutes after Lauren left setting my random articles of clothing in drawers and hanging up suits in the almost empty closet. The smile on my face would not fade. It would grow bigger when I would catch glances of the little Norbert sitting against my pillows.

Setting my gun in the bedside table, I hesitated. I looked over at the armoire. Sighing as it hit even harder that things were not perfect even if they began to feel like they were. There would always be something greater hanging over Lauren and me, the ultimate focus always being keeping her safe. I pushed the drawer shut, hiding the matte black gun in its leather holster from view. I would try to enjoy this first night with Lauren in this new house, let my mind have one moment of joy to hold on to when the dust began to kick up again.

Tossing the empty duffel bags into the bottom of the closet, I shut the heavy ornate wooden door. Laughing to myself at how everything in this room felt so organic and earthy when the bedroom in Malibu felt sterile and stone. This was the two sides of Lauren in many ways, the clean easy woman and the staunch fierce scientist and politician.

I walked down the fancy curved staircase to find Lauren in the kitchen. Running my hand down the polished handrail I wondered why such a woman would choose the political party she did to align with. I cared very little about politics, the political parties, and agendas. Only caring about the safety of those politicians I was assigned too. I had found that people were shitty no matter what side of the aisle they stood on, politics had nothing to do with the overall personality. Shitty people were just shitty people whether they rode the donkey or the elephant.

I found Lauren sitting on the counter top next to the fridge, trolling over a carry out menu.

I stopped at the massive cook top island in the fancy kitchen, throwing myself to mirror Lauren. Sitting on the black granite counter, letting my legs sway. "Do you ever cook? Or should I ask, do you actually know how?"

Lauren half smiled without ever looking up from the grease spotted and well-worn Chinese restaurant carry out menu, "To be honest, no I really don't know how to cook. I can make boxed things following the directions on the side and I can bake like a maniac, all thanks to Davideks mother and her forcing me to learn how to make cakes for my parent's birthdays." She held the menu out to me, "But preparing meals for myself, I struggle at." Lauren shrugged, "I may appear to be perfect but it's a façade I hide behind. A façade the world handed down to me." Lauren slid off the counter, opening the fridge to pull out two bottles of tea, "Not only can I not roller skate, I can't cook anything edible. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 19; I am deathly and oddly afraid of tornados and crazy thunderstorms that shake the house when the thunder strikes." She slid a glass bottle towards me, looking up in my eyes still smiling, "And lastly I once spent a night in jail."

My eyes widened as I popped the metal cap on the tea bottle, "Wait, you were in jail? And 19 for a driver's license?"

Lauren laughed, nodding as she climbed on the counter to sit next to me. Leaning against me so she could point at the menu in my hands, "The sesame chicken is the best." She tapped at the menu, "Get the extra egg rolls, trust me you won't want just one after the first bite."

I leaned against the blonde, "You are ignoring the questions, Senator." I poked her in the leg with the menu, "Answer me."

Lauren rolled her eyes, clasping the cold bottle in her hands, "I was thirteen. Davidek and I thought that I was smart enough to read a book on driving and know how to do it like Mario Andretti explained in the text. I read the book in two hours and we snuck into the garage. Taking out my father's vintage Ferrari Spyder." She took a deep breath as the embarrassing smile crossed her face, "The text book had nothing about how to properly operate a manual gear. I quickly ground up the transmission on the vintage car and when I finally was able to get the car into fourth gear, Davidek and I had no idea how fast we were going down the main street in town until the cop car tried to pull us over. I panicked and couldn't downshift. Needless to say Davidek and I led the officer on a high-speed chase. I yanked the emergency brake and dumped the car into a flooded ditch. Hood first." Lauren sipped at her tea, chuckling at an old memory, "Davidek and I were taken into custody for suspected grand theft auto, fleeing and evading the police and driving without a license, insurance and registration." Lauren looked at me, "We spent the night in jail because his mother refused to bail us out while my parents were up in New York City for a weekend trip. Told the police I needed to learn my lesson. I found out later, my father had ensured no charges were formally filed against me. He had gone to high school with the Chief of police. I learned my lesson without carrying a record."

She ran a hand over her hair, tucking it behind her ears as she bit her lip slightly, "Sleeping alone in a concrete musty cell scared me witless and I thought I was a convict going to the big house in the morning." Lauren bumped me with her shoulder, "And that is why I didn't get my license until I was 19. I had to pay my father back for the damages to the Spyder and my fines for my youthful indiscretion, before he allowed me to get my license. The Spyder was one of fifteen still existing in the world. It took me six years and a lot of after school and summer jobs working with Davideks mother and father to make up the money to pay him back. The only thing that saved me was when he bought a new agate melding formula from me." Lauren slid off the counter, "I think he only did it because he took pity on me. I was in my last summer at home and my father felt bad that I had wasted most of my youth working like a dog instead of enjoying the life of a crazy teenager."

Lauren picked up the land line, setting it next to me on the counter, "What he didn't understand was that the best memories I have is working with Davidek and his family. It made me feel like a normal person and not the wealthy heir I was."

I smiled at the blonde, taking the slim silver phone from her, "Is that why you chose to become a republican Senator?"

Lauren shook her head, "I have no real deep rooted convictions in one political party or another, that's how my parents lived and how I was raised. I did start out as a Democratic candidate when I ran for my first local office. In time, while researching the Criterion Centre and figuring out what I wanted to do there, I found choosing to be a Republican was easier for me to hide and have access to the Federal Agencies I needed to keep tabs on. The military has sought out my research for years, and I found being on their side, so to speak, helped keep them off my back until recently. I still do the work I see fit all across the political system."

Lauren drank from her tea, "I am what the media calls a new progressive republican, one who straddles the line of the two parties. One reporter once called me a Republocrat since I had both sides voting for me unanimously in my Senate race. I handle and vote what is right for my supporters while keeping an open mind. The party choice is just a title to keep people like Fields and his friends on my side." She smiled at me, "Hiding in plain sight is often the best course of action." Lauren set the bottle down and moved closer to me, "I have no agenda other than to help people the best way I can."

Lauren set her hands on my knees, "So are you going to order the food before the place closes or am I going to have to make you suffer through my terrible attempts at making something out of a box?" She grinned at me, squeezing my knees, "I want the almond chicken with extra sauce, egg rolls and extra chicken fried rice."

I leaned forward, kissing her quickly, "Hungry?"

Lauren ran her hands further up, "Starving." She kissed me back, moving away from me before my hands focused on grabbing her and not grabbing the phone and dialing it. Lauren pointed at the phone, "They already know the address and phone number, so don't be surprised if they crack jokes thinking it's me." She turned, scooping up her bottle, "I will set the table."

I watched Lauren move to the tiny buffet set under a large window. Night had fallen and the light from the moon bouncing off the falling snow fell through the window. Giving the small sitting area a romantic glow. I dialed the number on the menu, watching Lauren grab plates and other things to set the table. I loved how perfectly imperfect Lauren was as she told me more about her life. She did have the air of being a perfect heiress, but hearing about how she was in jail and petrified to get her driver's license made me smile more. She was like an onion, layer after layer would be peeled back to expose the woman to just be a very normal woman that worked for everything she had.

I held the phone up to my ear listening to it ring twice before a cheery female voice with a slight Chinese accent answered.

"Oh Hello my number one customer! It's been two weeks and no order, you must have been on vacation Lauren."

I smiled at the voice, "This is Lauren's assistant Bo." I held back the small giggle that threatened to come out.

The woman on the other line didn't pause, "Hello Bo let me guess. Blondie want almond chicken with three egg roll and extra chicken fried rice."

I looked up at Lauren as I laughed harder; she shook her head at me, "Yes that is correct. I would like the sesame chicken and two egg rolls."

"You pick the best Bo; I will have it in fifteen minutes. Usual delivery. I will send Johnny." I could hear the woman scratching a pen across some paper, "You will love it Bo, but try to get Blondie to eat something else. I tell her every time that she needs to eat something with vegetables or she going to have a heart attack." Before I could say anything, "Be there in fifteen minutes; tell Blondie, Nina says welcome back home."

The phone clicked off before I could say anything more. I set the phone down, replacing it with my bottle of tea, "Fifteen minutes, Johnny will be here."

Lauren laughed, setting the last fork on a plate, "He will be coming to the side entrance. It's not visible to the street and the safest access point." She folded her arms and looked at me, "Nina is a good woman. She used to be a double agent for the USA and China during the cold war. When the war ended, she opened up the Chinese restaurant two blocks down. Not only does she make the most incredible almond chicken, but she keeps her ears and eyes open for me. Ever since my attack in the Malibu house she has become slightly momma bear about me. She has proven valuable in letting me know when people are getting too nosy about my business."

I took in a slow breath, "Does she know about your work?" I needed to know how many people knew about the two sides of Lauren. It seemed there was no one she had helped around her or was willing to help if the time came. Opening her up to more risk as she slowly revealed her true gifts.

Lauren shrugged, "No, but I did help her with finding treatment when Johnny was ten and needed blood transfusions for a rare blood disease. I was able to make a few things happen in the Senate and call on a few favors to get him discounted but excellent treatment. That's when Nina revealed to me her experience in the spy world. Said she gave it up completely when her son was born. Wanted him to have a free life without having to worry about his mother, so she quit the CIA but kept a few contacts on both sides of the fence."

Lauren fiddled around with a napkin, "People tell you the deepest secrets when you help them without asking for anything in return." She set the napkin down, a strange look in her eyes before she focused on moving the plates to a perfect angle.

I waited to see if she would say more about her CIA friend, she didn't. She slowly let whatever was bothering go and when she looked up at me, she gave me a look, "What is it?"

I took in a slow breath for dramatic effect, "I need to tell you something, Lauren." I added in an even more dramatic pause, ensuring I had the blonde's full attention, "Tonight is your last night of carry out food Lauren." I held up my hand, stopping the incoming protest from her. I then smiled wide, "Two reasons why I am making you quit cold turkey. I don't think I can keep eating this food and not end up becoming huge, so I am taking over the cooking from now on." I watched Laurens eyes question me, "I can cook. I have the best tater tot casserole handed down to me by my mother handed down to her by Betty Crocker from the back of a Reader's Digest."

"Tater tot casserole?" Lauren squinted at me, "Does that have a lot of cheese in it? If so, I can handle that."

I laughed lightly, moving to stand off to the side but next to her, "It does. I will make it tomorrow." My hand found her bare arm, marveling at how she was still wearing a short sleeve shirt in the icebox of a house, I let my smile fade a bit, "The second reason is that I read the email you forwarded. I don't think it's safe to have random delivery people coming to the house day after day. We need to be a little more focused on keeping threats to a minimum."

Lauren's face never changed, she understood what I was telling her and surprisingly without the fight I was expecting from taking the junk food away from the junkie. "Nina will be upset. I usually only order from her when I am home. I think some days I am her daily sales with the amount of food I do order."

I smirked, "She told me, and I quote in her exact words, Blondie needs to eat more vegetables or you have heart attack." I leaned on the top of the bench curved around the small table, "I mean it Lauren. We need to be careful. I don't want to smother you or lock you up in house arrest, but until we get one of the threats under control or removed." I paused as the dark cloud of reality and fear rolled across her amber eyes. Lauren nodded curtly in agreement, turning back to the table and plates. "It's fine. I should probably start eating better. I don't have my teenage metabolism anymore."

Lauren's joke came out light but tinted with frustration. I knew it was hard for her to live in a bubble, more now that she had already faced two attacks in less than two weeks and there was another creeping closer and closer to her front door. I sighed, "Then tomorrow it will be a mac and cheese casserole with a side salad made from the massive, untouched pile of organic vegetables you have stacked in that fridge." I kept my tone light, making Lauren smile at the motherly way I emphasized untouched vegetables. I wanted to break the clouds in her eyes.

Lauren smiled, raising an eyebrow at me, "Okay mom."

The doorbell rang, filling the house with deep sounds of piano keys being pressed in an elegant three chord note. Effectively ending whatever comeback I had planned for Lauren comparing me in the slightest to a mother. "Saved by the bell. Food's here." She pointed to the doorway off to the left of the fridge. "Through the mud room is the side entrance. The access code for that panel is 31379." Lauren dug around in her back pocket, handing me three twenty dollar bills neatly folded in half. "Give this to Johnny and tell him he is all set."

I took the bills, about to protest that it was far too much money for the fifteen dollar order when Lauren gently pushed me towards the mud room.

Gliding through the mud room, I pressed in the five digit code she gave me on the small metal keypad next to the door. When the door was happy with receiving the correct code, it clicked and gave me a green light. Before opening the door, I took a peek through the tiny keyhole peep in the middle of the broad door.

Standing at the door huddled in a thick winter coat and a Washington Nationals beanie was an Asian boy about fourteen years old, holding two very full white plastic bags. I swung the door open and was met with a generous smile dotted with braces. The boy blushed immediately as his eyes roam on their own will over my tight shirt and the god given assets the shirt covered. Teenage hormones directing his attention away from the task at hand in his hands.

The boy squeaked when he finally spoke, "Hi, I'm Johnny." his voice was trapped half in adolescence and half in the beginning of puberty. Johnny held out the order, trying to cover his almost beet red face, and recited the order to me. He was very well spoken for his age and as I took the bags from him, I couldn't help but grin at his attempts to maintain eye contact only. "My mom told me to tell Ms. Lewis that there are extra cookies in the bottom of the one bag."

I nodded, lifting the bags around in my hand. Amazed at how heavy they were as I set them down on the floor so I could pay the kid. When I looked up, I almost burst out laughing at the now blatant stares the kid was throwing at my boobs. I broke his stare when I handed the money towards him, "Tell your mom thank you and that Blondie will be eating more vegetables and less almond chicken."

Johnny nodded erratically, his eyes drawn to how interesting the tops of his shoes now where, "Okay. I gotta go back. Nice to meet you lady." Johnny snuck one last hard look at my chest before he jetted off down the side of the house. Snow crunching under his hurried steps.

I giggled, shutting the door and bending down to pick up the food. I couldn't blame the kid for his gawking. I was experiencing the same thing every time I could sneak looks and stares at Lauren. She made my hormones race all over the place in the last day and it was hard not to stare and let my thoughts head in the wrong direction.

I lugged the bags back into the kitchen, dropping them on the table next to Lauren, "Johnny said thank you after staring at my boobs the entire two minutes we spoke." I tore the bags open, lifting up the Styrofoam containers that oozed grease and fantastic smells.

Lauren laughed, leaning over me to grab a rice container. Her arm purposefully brushing across my chest, "I can't blame him one bit."

The blush climbed up my neck faster than I wanted her to see, so I busied my hands with dishing out the rest of the containers instead of busying them with grabbing Lauren and kissing her, or more.

Slow, must go slow.

Near the bottom of the second bag there was a thinner white box with a C written in red wax pencil across the lid. I held it out to Lauren, "These must be the extra cookies his mom gave us."

Laurens cheeky grin faded slightly. Her eyes locking on the box, "I will take that." I released the box when she had a firm hold on it, throwing her a smirk, "Dessert first?"

Lauren shook her head slowly and tore open the lid. She removed a thin stack of papers from underneath the two stacks of pale orange almond cookies. "If only." The tone in her voice told me that there was more to the cookies than just cookies. She unfolded the papers, her eyes scanning the pages as she read. Lauren then set two pages down on the table. Pages that held photographs of two men that looked rugged and rough. Kind of like the two men who followed her to my house that day. One was photographed as he sat behind the wheel of a nondescript sedan.

I stared at the man, trying to pick up any small details I could. I almost didn't hear Lauren when she spoke, "Cookies is Nina's code word for when she has something to tell me." I swung my head back to look at her. Her eyes were darting quicker over the sheet of paper in her hand. The way the light hit it, I could see Chinese characters scribbled over the length of the page. "Nina has spotted these two gentlemen hanging around the block the last few days. Asking a few too many questions about where Senator Lewis lives and if she ever eats at the restaurant." Lauren sighed, handing me the page, "She said the one with the beard reeks of CIA even through his half ass attempt at a deep undercover disguise. The one with the buzz cut has taken to sitting in a moving van at the end of the street in front of the bakery. Only moving when the cops roll through at lunch time."

I held the paper filled with the elegant Chinese handwriting, looking over words I had no idea what they were, I heard another sigh from Lauren. "Nina has pegged them as CIA deep undercover. This means the beekeepers are getting restless and antsy."

I looked at Lauren, watching her shoulders sag in frustration and exhaustion. She was tired from the early start we had and the long flight. Now this new information added a little extra to it all. I set the page in my hands down with the others on the table, pushing the almond chicken closer to her. "Lauren, let's enjoy dinner and focus on that for now. Maybe we can watch a movie and then call it a night." I raised my hand, running my fingers through her hair in an attempt to take away some of the frustration. "Tomorrow we worry about them and dig into who they are and what they want. But tonight let's relax as much as we can."

Lauren closed her eyes, breathing in even breaths. She nodded slightly in agreement before dropping down into the bench seat and flipping open the lid to her food. Digging in right away to her last greasy take out dinner. With every bite she took, the greasy food chased away more and more of her frustration. Bringing a small smile back to her face when I sat next to her and dug into my own pile of greasy heaven. Telling her more about how Johnny couldn't keep his eyes in his head.

* * *

XXXXXXXX

My last meal was devoured and I enjoyed every last heavy bite of the food. It was truly my last carry out meal for a while. When Bo told me no more take out, she was serious. I wasn't going to argue with her. She was right, constant deliveries to the house could be compromising even if I only ate Nina's four times a week.

I closed the lid on the empty container, fascinated that my body willingly accepted the almost three pounds of food I shoveled into it without argument. Bo was still nibbling away at her egg roll. Our dinner conversation had been light, primarily talking about Johnny and his gawking, which lead to discussion about our first crushes and our long stand celebrity crushes.

Bo tossed the last bite of her egg roll into the box, "I surrender. I am stuffed." Bo leaned back against the bench, her hands rubbing over her stomach as she sighed content. I picked up her container and mine, standing up to take it to the sink. "I will save the rest for you. Or for me later." I set the food next to the fridge, digging in the cabinets for a small dish to dump her leftovers in. I glanced over my shoulder at the now groaning Bo, "Go get ready for bed, I have movies in the library and I think there might be a few shows I wanted to watch but never did, recorded on the DVR." I plucked a small plastic tub from the perfect stack in the back of one cabinet. I dropped the leftover sesame chicken in it, making sure I got every last delicious grain of rice for later. I was going to have a hard time not having this food for a while.

The chair Bo sat in scraped slightly across the floor. A second later I felt her hands on my side. Holding on to me gently right under my ribs then sliding down to rest above my hips. Her breath was warm against the back of my neck, making me squeeze my eyes shut and take a slow breath in through my mouth. My heart and body literally began to hum from the feelings the simple touch of her hands stirred up. Bo lightly tugged me closer to her body as she whispered, "It's still very cold in the house.'

I let out a nervous laugh. Our apparent code word for wanting to share the same bed was spoken. I snapped the light blue lid onto the tub full of leftovers and turned in Bo's grip. Face to face, I reached up. Pushing a few strands of her soft brown hair that freed themselves from her ponytail back behind her ear before I traced her down her cheek and across her jaw lightly. "Change and I will meet you in my room. Be warned, I think the bed is a mess from when I left for vacation." I looked in her eyes as my fingers journeyed down her neck, making me swallow hard when I felt how steady and fast her heart was beating. Mirroring what I saw in her eyes. Going slow with her was going to be harder than I thought.

Bo squeezed my waist and whispered an okay before she left me with a smile and a mild sweat forming all over my body. The attraction had multiplied and intensified in the last day. Pheromones and hormones mingling together to mix up the perfectly unbearable chemistry between us. She literally made my entire body tingle with the slightest look or touch that went beyond innocent.

When her footsteps no longer made soft sounds up the steps, I threw the plastic tub in the fridge and dumped the empties into the trash. I passed the table, scooping up Nina's notes, folding them up into my hand. I then emailed Ivan to get me everything he knew about Beekeeper and send it over. My brain was in overdrive.

There was a pattern starting to form with Beekeeper and the religious group suddenly crowding around me for attention. The CIA obviously had to know about the church, which made it strange that they weren't acting to remove their competition. The CIA could do it and do it quietly. Brush the existence of the church under the rug with the thousands of others they had removed over the last handful of decades.

I trudged upstairs, my brain sifting and sorting through the information I had. Trying to place the pieces to give me a better idea of who would make the first move and when. I was heavy in the clouds of thought when I opened my bedroom door, my eyes rising to see my California queen sized bed covered in books and files from the last defense budget meeting before the break. I grumbled, forgetting I had fallen asleep in the chair the night before I left for Malibu, passing out with pie charts and line graphs in my lap.

I shuffled to the bed and started collecting the mess up. My room was a miniature library. I had more bookshelves lining the walls that faced the dresser and closet. Each shelf was stuffed with books and files. All of it was neat but still had a maniacal look and feel about them. OCD in chaos as Rebecca once called it. More stacks of droll finance and statistical reports were about to find their new home jammed into whatever space I could find on the shelf closest to the dresser. I slumped and shuffled slowly to the shelf, trying to eyeball the best spot. The weight of another emotional day was sagging heavily on my shoulders. I was growing more tired by the second aided by the weight of the food I had just eaten. I was minutes away from collapsing into bed and tossing the papers in my hand on the floor and leaving them.

The bedroom door whispered as it was pushed open. I looked over the stack in my hands at Bo. Dressed in her purple hoodie, zipped up to the chin and a pair of grey sweatpants that seemed to swallow her in comfort. Even though she was swathed in thick cotton clothing, she was still gorgeous. Her hair up in a quick ponytail and no make up, it all added to the simplistic beauty of the brunette and stirred up the butterflies that fluttered around my stomach and threatened to float up my throat. I swallowed them down before I finally did drop the thousand page budget review on the dresser. A loud and thick clap of paper that was better used printing out anything other than the endless arguments of who should get what in the government, made me sigh hard, "I obviously left things in a hurry."

I returned to the bed to grab the last two genetic biology books I had on the unused pillows of the bed. I hefted them up and off the pillows, letting them poof back up to their original size. I was now more eager to get to bed, the soft white pillows tempting me with their soft expanse. I held the books in one hand, turning to look for another empty spot for them when I caught Bo looking around my room. Her eyes stopping at the small section of wall between the two large bookshelves that was covered in framed photographs.

Photographs of my family mixed with random other things that I hung up to keep some part of my life, my real life, in my sight. My bedroom was the only real place I kept my private and family life on display.

Bo took slow steps to move closer to the wall. Her head moving back and forth as she went top to bottom through the photographs. The frames stopped at the top edge of a high back chair set in the space. A chair that I often fell asleep in with a book in my hand or my lap covered in work I was desperate to finish in one sitting. "That is my family wall." I spoke softly to Bo, her back to me as she stood, leaning against the arm of the chair trying to get a better look.

Standing next to Bo, I slid the last two books into the shelf sideways on top of the other volumes of genetic research books I had. I turned and caught the small smile forming when she found the one picture of Davidek and I at the age of 12. Hugging each other in our lovely outfits of pleated stone washed jeans and random cartoon characters plastered on the fronts of our shirts. We both made for gangly, lanky, and awkward teenagers. Nothing but arms, legs and in my case, giant framed glasses.

Bo giggled, leaning over the chair to get even closer to the photograph. "This is Davey?" she turned quickly to see my confirmation nod, "Who knew you two were such awkward teens." Bo leaned back from the chair, turning back to me, "Who grew up to be two very attractive and incredible people."

I smiled, laughing airily as my hand settled on her shoulder. Pausing before it ran down to press against the small of her back. The smile grew when I felt her ever so slightly lean back into my touch, "We both have prodigious genetics in both family blood lines." Leaning closer and over Bo, I pointed at a recent photograph of my mother standing with Davidek's. Both elegantly beautiful women with the age starting to grace the finer touches of their features. My mother looked exactly like I knew I would in my sixties and Davidek carried his mother's intense copper eyes and her nose. "Both of our mothers don't look a day over 44. That was taken last spring at the first family BBQ of the season."

Bo tilted her head back, her nose almost brushing the side of my cheek we were so close. "You are beautiful, you do know that right?" Her voice was soft and airy. I glanced at her from the side of my view, not wanting to fully face her as I felt my skin heat up just from the soft, yet sensual tone in her voice. I tried to wave off the compliment, "I have heard that once or twice." The egocentric joke was an attempt to deflect the compliment and how warm I was getting the more Bo pressed against me. I had to eventually step back from her, "Did you think of a movie you wanted to watch or is it TV?"

Bo's hand captured my forearm, holding me and my attention. The way she looked when my eyes fluttered from her hand and up to meet hers, made me shiver. Sending a prompt ache to the center of my body, forcing my thigh muscles to tighten.

Bo held tightly on to my arm as she broke further into my personal space. Her body heat increasing the ambient temperature around my body. She slowly pulled my arm to wrap around her waist, setting my hand on her hip and holding it there. My heart pounded in my ears like a high school drum line.

Unyielding pounding when I saw what was in Bo's eyes as her body moved closer to mine. God did I want her.

Hips grazing hips, breasts ghosting over mine. Bo was biting her bottom lip, holding in the mischievous grin that was looming over her face. She leaned forward, her nose and lips brushing my neck under my chin. I sucked in an audible, ragged breath when her lips pressed against my thundering pulse.

When I felt the warm, wet tip of her tongue trace a line against the edges of the open mouth kiss she was placing on my neck, my hands clenched on the excess fabric of her sweatshirt. Squeezing the fabric tightly in my palm.

Bo continued her kisses up my neck, each one slow, directed and sensual as they made the slow journey to the underside of my chin. Finding my lips shortly after one lingering kiss with a nip was placed on the curve of my chin.

Bo wouldn't kiss me like I hoped and expected; only smirking as her eyes darted from mine to my lips. She was waiting for me, waiting for a signal to continue this beautiful torture.

I nudged forward, my lips caressing over hers, pulling back as soon as we made the briefest contact. Bo had to take the lead, take what she wanted. I was not going to be the aggressor especially after she started this.

And take the lead she did. Bo growled when she lunged, soft lips mashed on mine. Her hands gripping the side of my head, handfuls of my hair threaded in between fingers as she tugged desperately to bring me closer.

I released the wads of purple material in my hands, sliding them under the edge of the hem and finding her warm, bare skin open to touch. Bo gasped into my mouth when she felt the pressure from my own need to have more of her.

Hands inched up, coming to the thin edge of a bra. Fingers followed seams back to the clasp. Two fingers found the hooks and latched on to them. One flick and the clasp would be separated. I paused for a moment, my lips still entangled with hers as Bo's tongue fought for dominance with mine.

This was the point of no return, one flick and I would not be able to stop or want to stop. It had all built up to this point, I would either suck it up and step away for another day, or let it all go like I ached too. I broke from Bo to allow some air to refill my lungs. Directing my lips to kiss down her collarbone and shoulder, biting lightly on the toned muscle I loved to run my fingers over. I bit gently, just enough to hear my name entangled in a throaty whisper from her.

I smirked and leaned back to look in her eyes. Dark brown eyes hooded with desire and need, she had surpassed the point of no return and was on the verge of attacking me if I continued to draw this out. I opened my mouth to ask if this was what she wanted, her thumb and finger running over my lips silenced me. Bo kissed where her thumb had been, whispering, "I want you."

The alarm startled both of us. The slamming of the steel window covers closing off the three windows that lined the bedroom pushed us apart like a glass wall had suddenly been shoved in between us.

The shrill beeping from the panel next to my bed drew my eyes away from the Bo. I strode over to the panel quickly, mashing buttons to silence it. I turned to Bo and found her to be gone, the bedroom door still moving from her exit. I slammed my palm against the large red button on the panel.

The wall next to my bed that was free from bookshelves and anything other than a framed painting of a woman slumped over in her bed with a small night creature sitting on her chest, slid away. Revealing my own panic room. Larger than Bo's it held the heart of the security system and was my in home office. Similar to the one in Malibu but smaller.

I tapped on the keyboard as I sat in the chair, the monitors lighting up and flickering through all the cameras. The alarm that went off was a breach alarm, hence why the windows were covered. I cycled through the cameras, catching Bo running through the kitchen checking doors with a gun in her hand.

I continued cycling through the exterior cameras and stopped when I saw it. The garage door was smoking. I zoomed in and saw a small black circle and crater on the ground in front of the garage door, with more black residue sprayed all over the door.

"Fuck." The curse word I rarely used fell from my mouth. It was the remnants of a small bomb I was looking at on camera. I zoomed in further, recording all the evidence I could while I linked into the 911 dispatch center. The police of course were already aware what had happened. The blast would have woken up the entire neighborhood and by the amount of officers responding to the dispatcher telling them my address, I was five minutes from being swarmed with police.

I clicked faster, sending Davidek the video images while I tried to rewind DVR footage on another screen. I was hunched over, my attention divided in five different places when Bo rushed back into the room. Her voice was strong and determined, she was in agent mode. "The doors are all secure; I can't tell if anyone was trying to break in. All the windows are still covered and there are no signs of breaching."

I turned to her. She was wide eyed and her jaw tight, the P99 gripped in her hand. "It was a bomb. Looks like a small pipe bomb went off at my garage door." I pointed at the monitor. "The police will be here shortly."

I returned to the other monitor I had reviewing through the DVR footage. I kept talking to Bo as I played the footage. "The alarm system is engineered to respond appropriately to threat levels. A simple first level break in will lock all doors and windows; send a silent alarm to the police department. HVAC attack, the system shuts down and reverts to my alternate air sources. The garage door can withstand explosions up to a five ton IED."

I paused when a black blurb dotted with the falling snowflakes flicked on to the screen, hovering in front of the garage. "What just happened was a full blown lockdown. The first millisecond of the blast, the system detects the immediate atmospheric change in temperature and detects the influx of chemicals in the air. Locking the house up like a castle, but stronger." I leaned closer to the monitor as the blurb squatted down and barely moved. I paused the DVR and dumped the footage into the edit program. Running the footage over to lighten and sharpen the image.

I felt Bo stand behind me; I could hear her heart pumping adrenaline through her body as she tried to control her heavy breathing. "A bomb?" A question that was asked with masked fear.

"Yes." The editing program finished, filling the screen with crystal clear images that looked as if they were taken in the prime of the daylight hours. "A pipe bomb." I pointed at the short end of the bomb in the blurbs hand, "That is a standard metal plumbing cap, always used in the creation of pipe bombs. Very sturdy and add to the blast damage when they detonate." The blurb had now taken the shape of a man about six feet tall and just under 195 pounds, dressed in all black, he handled the bomb in his hands with ease and expertise.

Bo leaned over me, squinting at the man. When the man stood up he turned and made the mistake of looking to his right, in the direction of my second set of cameras focused on the garage. I clicked a different monitor and brought up the perfect full face image of the man. I closed my eyes, leaning roughly back into the chair, "It's the CIA." The man staring off into the distance was the man with the beard Nina had sent photographs over.

I leaned on the desk, my head in both of my hands. My eyes were still closed, "This is a bold move on their part. A warning for me."

Bo leaned against the desk so she faced me, "A warning?"

I nodded in my hands, "Yes, a warning. It's their way of gently telling me I need to start cooperating with them or it will only get worse." I raised my head, setting my hands flat on the desk, "They are tired of waiting for me to come around and work with them, and this is their gentle way of telling me they will wait no longer." I stood up from the desk, reaching down and to save everything and have it immediately forwarded to Ivan and the secured hard drives I had in Geneva. "They are getting ballsy."

I stepped out of the room, flopping on to the edge of the bed. My own adrenaline was slowly leaving me now that the fight or flight response was no longer needed. The doorbell ringing with the hefty pounding of police officer fists on my front door did little to distract my thoughts.

Bo hustled out of the panic room, "I will take care of the police. Is it all clear down there?"

"Yes. The bomb eliminated itself on detonation, it's safe for them and they won't find anything other than powder residue." I kept my eyes on the floor.

Bo knelt in front of me, her big brown eyes. Big brown eyes that held so much determination in keeping me safe looked up in mine. "Stay here. I will go to them and get them out of here as fast as I can." She looked to her left, "How did I disarm the front door."

"Control F will release the doors. The F11 key will reset the system but keep it in standby." I returned to looking at the floor, listening to Bo hit the keys and the system beep to initiate the restore process. I looked up as Bo left the panic room, coming back to kneel in front of me, "Ten minutes tops, I will be back up here."

I nodded, watching her stand up and tuck the gun in her back waistband. She took one last look at me; the want to stay with me was filling her eyes. The ever present struggle of bodyguard versus bodyguard in love with me was there. Bo took a deep breath and left the room to answer the second round of aggressive door pounding.

When she was gone, I reached over to the bedside table. Pushing the button on the far right bottom, I closed up the panic room. The wall returning to its nondescript motif with the eerie but comforting painting as its only companion.

I leaned on to my knees, my eyes drawn to the painting. It was the Nightmare by Fuseli. A beautiful but dark painting that I bought in Venice years ago. I kept it in my room, because it was far too morbid for the rest of the house, even though it brought me strange comfort when I looked at it. Now as I stared at the painting, it began to mirror my life.

The CIA was sitting on my chest like the little demon on the woman's chest with the New Church of the Rising Son lingering in the back shadows like the head of the horse peering from the curtains in the painting.

These two were determined to make my life a nightmare if I didn't give them what they wanted.

I stood up from the bed, closing the door and cutting off the distant mumbles of Bo talking to the handful police officers in the foyer. I crawled on to the far edge of the bed just as the security system rest and the window covers retracted back up. Allowing the moonlight bouncing off the snowflakes to fill the room and combat the lamp light. I laid on my stomach, hitting the button to shut off all the lamps, leaving me in darkness and moonlight.

I turned my head on the pillow underneath, trying to let go the last bits of adrenaline and fear in my system with deep even breaths. I was exhausted, my eyes heavy with want for sleep.

My life was on a seesaw, bouncing from happiness to the nightmare that was brewing. What made it worse was I had no intentions of ever giving in to the threats made by the CIA and the church. They would not scare me off easily regardless of the amount of threats and attacks they threw my way.

I took a deep breath as my eyes began to refuse to stay open. I would destroy every last bit of my research and work before they got their hands on it.

The last thought in my head as sleep overtook me was if I could continue dragging Bo along through this growing nightmare. I loved her far too much to see her struggle with keeping me safe and loving me at the same time.

* * *

XXXXX

"Ma'am, I highly suggest that you allow us to do a sweep of the house for you." The police sergeant standing in front of me was doing his best to keep his manners. His thick leather jacket creaked every time he folded his arms and unfolded them in agitation, letting me know he was not happy I was stonewalling him. I was just happy it stopped snowing and the cold wind died away.

"Stop calling me ma'am. I appreciate it, but I work for my paycheck just like you do, Sgt. Sheehnan. Call me Bo." I had my arms folded in a similar fashion, because I was freezing standing outside with the Sergeant. Watching the mass of police officers, FBI and a handful of Secret Service Agents hover around in the snow processing the scene. The blue and red lights flickering across our faces giving everything a strange 3D feel. I huddled my arms closer under the thin winter jacket I found in the closet when I opened the door to an army of excited police officers with their guns drawn. "Sgt. Sheehnan, as I explained to you and will again. The Senator's house is fine. The security systems in place have done it's job and the only area of focus is the garage. I will send over the footage of the suspect from the cameras in the morning." I turned to him, his square jaw and typical cop grimace highlighted by the occasional red flash, "I promise you will get the same copy as the FBI and the Secret Service. I know how to share." I threw him my best smile. It seemed to ease the staunch and grumpy Sergeant who had pushed to search the entire house and property the moment the scene was cleared. I understood his goal was to make sure the house was clear and try to root out suspects and evidence, but Lauren was my goal and I didn't want her disturbed or have anyone in the house to know how hefty her security system was.

The Sergeant looked at me sideways before huffing, "Alright Bo, I guess we can make a deal." He then nodded to the blob of evidence techs, "I hate that we get pushed out of the way the moment a crime hits the federal level." He turned slightly, his jacket creaking, looking me in the eyes, "We usually can find suspects faster than they can." Sgt. Sheehnan looked at me harder, as if he recognized me or was trying to get a read off me, "Senator Lewis is a good woman. She has done her best to support the local police since she moved in here and I kind of take it personal that some low level fucktard would dare to do this." He dropped his arms, placing his hands on his gun belt in the typical cop way. "Bo, I apologize for my rudeness, but you reek of federal. What are you? Fibbies? DEA? Secret Service? I know Senator Lewis put the kibosh on any federal protection, that's why the station does a little extra patrols around this block." He turned to look at one of his officers walking past us, "So did she finally bend and allow the suits in?"

I bent my head down as the FBI's bomb tech walked past us with a box with red evidence tape around it. "I was a suit, former Secret Service." I huddled up in my jacket, "Senator Lewis is still opting out of federal protection." I glanced at the Sergeant, "Needless to say she still doesn't have full faith in the protection offered to her by the government." I moved closer to the Sergeant to allow more evidence techs to leave the scene. He leaned back as well, "I don't blame her. Ever since that fuck up in her vacation house a few years ago, I wouldn't trust them either. They traced those one of those bastards back to being former CIA and nothing came of it."

I pulled my chin out of the collar of my jacket, "Are you talking about the attack inside of her house? Five years ago?"I was staring at him, curious how he knew the information he was sharing.

Sgt. Sheehnan motioned for me to follow him over to his patrol car to get out of the way of the mass exodus now happening, "Yea, the one where two ass hats broke into her house and almost gutted her, but they got the raw deal when she dumped fifteen rounds respectfully into them." He sat on the hood of his white patrol car, feet up on the push bars, "Bo, before you get your panties twisted in a knot. Senator Lewis and I are pals." He smirked when I reacted to his comment, "Lauren and I met over at Janes compound eight years ago. I had just left the Marines, serving three tours too many in the war and I couldn't shake it. I went to Janes for a job and met her." He leaned over on to his knees, "She is a good kid, takes good care of people. I worked for Janes for a little while and even did one or two of Lauren's security details while she was on the campaign trail, it as the first time in a long time anyone treated me like a person and not a killing machine. I owe her for that, taking the time to ease me into life after the desert." Sgt. Sheehnan stopped, clearing his throat, "I left Janes for the department here two months before her attack." Sgt. Sheehnans face went hard, "Anyways, when I heard she had been hurt. I did my own digging and recognized one of the fools from a liaison mission I did up in the Hindu Kush mountains. CIA and a royal dick."

The conversation came to a pause when one of the FBI techs stopped to inform me that they were done and the final report would be sent to Senator Lewis when it was compiled. The fresh faced tech also informed me that his boss and the Secret Service would like to have a formal meeting with Senator Lewis on the following Monday. I was handed a business card and a curt ma'am before the tech disappeared into the warmth of his van. I tucked the card into my pocket and turned back to Sheehnan.

I waited as another pile of officers walked around us, stopping to ask Sheehnan if they were done. After he cleared them I moved closer, trying to keep my voice low, "CIA? I thought it was the religious freaks that were targeting her at the time for her stance on genetic testing."

Sheehnan slid off the hood to stand in front of me, "Well, Bo sometimes things don't make sense only to make perfect sense. That asshole who stabbed her was CIA, I will forever remember his face for the shit he did in the mountains. To be honest, he did suffer enough that day Lauren shot him. He got his easy out." Sheehnan paused, letting his bad memories slid away, "Anyways, we are done here, Bo. I will have the formal report sent over when I type it up. If you can still promise me that security recording."

I smiled lightly, "Of course Sergeant, I keep my promises."

Sheehnan smiled, opening his door on the patrol car, "Take care of her, Bo. You already impress me more than that last girl, Rebecca. She would never stand out in the cold for hours with us minions of the police department." He yanked his police hat off, tossing it in the car, "If you need us, Bo, call. Like I said, my boys and girls will do right by Lauren." He threw me a slight salute, climbing into his car and pulling away. Ending the last bit of red and blue lights swirling around the house.

I stood in the snow, enjoying the silence of the night. No hushed voices, no police cars and black SUV's stacked all over the street. I took a deep breath of the cold air, trying to relax before I went back into the house. Sheehnans little tidbit had my mind working, trying to figure out why would a former CIA operative link up with an extreme religious group. Why was the CIA so interested in killing Lauren and continuing to scare her.

I took one last deep breath and went back in the house. I relished how warm the house was after standing outside in the snow in just sweatpants and a coat. I went through the house one more time, double checking the locks, doors, windows and that the security system was back online before I headed upstairs. I was worn down and ready for bed, I would talk to Lauren in the morning. She was already far too shaken up to have another heavy conversation about threats.

I ran my hands over my hair, flashes of what almost was before the alarm went off making my body switch out of my protective agent to the woman who craved to have just five minutes more when I felt Lauren's fingers on my bare skin. I bit my lip in pure sexual frustration as I climbed the stairs slowly. I had taken a chance out of the simple fact I could not resist any longer as I stood in her room, feeling her body warm mine, the light scent of the ocean still in her clothes, and just the way she looked at me as she showed me her family pictures. It was my body begging me to take a chance and give it some release for the building tension over the last day. It was finally coming to life in a way that no way ever made me feel. I could feel my want for Lauren down to my fingertips, it wasn't just a physical want, but a complete want of someone. I wanted Lauren on a whole, she made me feel complete and my body and mind wanted to become one. I wanted to give myself to her wholly, and take from her wholly.

I paused at the top of the stairs to collect myself. My body was telling me that it was a good idea to try to pick up where we left off, but I knew better. Lauren would be mildly distant and care more that I was okay then focus on her.

I walked down the hallway to her room. Lauren's bedroom door was closed and I saw the lights were off. I opened the door slowly, hoping not to startle her. She was curled up in the bed under the blankets, asleep. I moved slowly to the other side of the bed, setting my gun down I pulled back the blankets and slid in.

The second my hand landed on her shoulder, Lauren stirred, rolling over to me. Smiling sleepily, "Hi."

"Hi." I smiled in return, "They are all gone." I said nothing more. I wanted Lauren to go back to sleep and get the rest she needed. Not wake up and start her mind up and overwork it trying to figure things out.

Lauren nodded slowly, she didn't say a word. Only moving closer to me and resting her head on my chest. Her arm came across my body, pulling me closer. In the way she held on to me tightly, I could feel she was still trying to settle down. I set my hand on her arm, pressing down just enough to let her know I was there. I stared at the dark ceiling, listening to her breath back into a deep sleep while I held her. I would have to start my own digging in the morning. Dig into the past and the present to find a firm connection between the CIA and the religious group from five years ago. There was some perfect sense there, I could feel it in my gut. There was a connection and a pattern forming, the CIA was possibly repeating their own history and I had to figure it out before they got closer to meeting whatever goal it was they had for attacking and threatening Lauren.

Sleep eventually claimed me without my permission.

* * *

I woke up when the morning light poured through the large windows. I rolled away from them and to the sight of Lauren sitting up in bed, tablet in her hands and glasses on. She looked down at me, smiling, "Morning."

I yawned, not bothering to sit up with her. I was exhausted and had to fight to keep my eyes open. Instead I shifted closer to her so I could lay a hand on her stomach. I found lately I was drawn to touching her or having some sort of physical contact in any way I could. My hand settled on her stomach, making her smile more, "Morning to you. What time is it? And why are you awake Lauren?"

Lauren set the tablet down next to her, freeing her hands to cover mine on her stomach. "It's eight and I am awake because I woke up at six like I do everyday." She reached over, brushing hair out of my face, "But I couldn't find the strength to leave the bed, you are kind of fun to watch while you sleep." she smirked, "I decided to read some emails and a look at a few things on the tablet."

I squinted at her, shifting the pillow under my head so I could look at her better and still avoid sitting up, "You work too much." I looked at our hands, her touch was definitely waking me up in many ways, she was even more beautiful in her nerdy black glasses. I swallowed hard, "I can't believe you watch me sleep."

Lauren laughed, "I am only kidding." she patted my hand, "But you do sort of talk in your sleep. Curious to know who Tom is and why he makes you giggle." She raised an eyebrow playfully.

I groaned and closed my eyes, there was no way I was going to talk about Tom right now. I cursed my dreams and whatever it was that makes people spill their secrets while in the deep grips of sleep. I sat up and moved closer to Lauren, "Maybe one day I will tell you that story, but for now." I bent forward, kissing her lightly, hoping to throw her off, "For now, I just want to lay in bed with you for a little longer."

Lauren kissed me back but when I looked in her eyes I knew my distraction technique barely worked, "You can tell me the story over lunch after we go to the mall." She grinned as my eyes widened.

"The mall? I can't remember the last time I went to a mall." My shoulders sagged, I really did want to stay in bed and maybe sleep a few more hours with her. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to clear out the temptress sleep could be, "Why are we going to the mall?"

Lauren kissed my cheek before tossing the blankets back and hopping out of bed, "I have a charity ball to attend to Friday night. You are coming with me, of course." She stood up, stretching with no signs of the incident the night before anywhere on her face, "We need to find you a dress, a proper dress."

I groaned, "Why? I can wear one of my nice tailored suits and hide in the back with the rest of the protection people." I hated charity balls. They were always so stuffy with the amount of bullshit being tossed between politicians and celebrities. Not a damn genuine word or action from anyone at those types of events.

Lauren grinned and leaned on the edge of the bed, leaning closer as if she was going to kiss me again. "Because, afterwards I am taking you somewhere to collect my prize from our little competition and where we are going, I need you to look absolutely stunning." She winked at me and stood up, walking away from the bed and to the bathroom.

I closed my eyes, slinking back down into the bed. She was slowly driving me insane with her flirtation. I grabbed a pillow and covered my face, groaning into it and biting the corner. I heard the shower turn on, and Lauren's voice from the bathroom, "The FBI has forwarded the initial report from last night. It's on the tablet if you want to look at it." She walked out of the bathroom, setting her glasses down on the side table. She looked down at me, "I also have Sergeant Sheehnans final report. We can go over the rest in the car." She smiled lightly when I gave her a strange look. "I don't like to talk business first thing in the morning, Bo. It tends to set the mood for the rest of the day."

She turned to head back into the bathroom, "I want to try to get to the mall when it opens, that way I only have to compete with the mallwalkers." She smiled before closing the door.

I sighed hard. Envious of the shower and silently fighting the urge to barge into the bathroom and hop in the shower with her. Instead I rolled out of the bed, grabbed her tablet and retreated to my bedroom as I read over the reports.

In my room I looked up at Norbert on the bed. Shaking my head I traded the tablet for him. Holding him up, I shook my head, "Can you believe it, she wants me to go to the mall."

Norbert just stared at me until I set him back down on my pillows, "You are no help buddy." I turned the shower on, stripped out of my sweats and hopped in. Squealing at the first rush of cold water I put myself through to chase away the tension before I let the water run as hot as possible.

I really hated going to the mall.


End file.
